heuheuheuhe

just thought I'd post this little lol bomb, I KNOW I am playing better since the turn around so I am happy.

I just finished a 10days of no checking cashier I might write a bit more about that l8r, probably going to make it a regular thing tho



its almost all nl50 lol

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Comments (12)

fuckkkkkk energy levels have been so low the past week or so

coffee doesn't help much :< wtf !

here's June

I really hope I can skip the first half of the graph this month. IDK how my results for june so far are tho tbh. Trying not to check results until the 9th.. super painful esp cuz I think I am not doing so hot. Might not last til friday lol


been playing some nl100 this month too idk how its gone LOL

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Comments (7)

My volume has really sucked this month. I'll of played about 77 hours of poker and about 55k hands when june 30th rolls around and that is really not enough. I have spent time studying and stuff but still..

I'm feeling a lot better about pretty much everything so.. I will shoot at 25 hours/week next month.. need to at least be playing 100 hours/month for sure. My standard volume was 100-120 hours a month last year so I can definitely do it.

Just a thought.

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Comments (6)

Maybe I will have a b/e month w a bit of rb for profit.. would be nice. and then hopefully onto a successful poker career lol ;(

on a nice heater today, 2.4k hands, +8bi

red line hasn't continued its epic upward climb but here it is since the day of reckoning



I hope I'm playing well

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Comments (10)

Today I up and moved from my dad's to my grandma's (I probably mispent half my youth growing up here, hehe). It feels like an enormous weight is off me. Dad and I just weren't getting along very well, along with several other factors making life out there feel crappy. My grandma is awesome, extremely lively, and a little crazy sometimes.. but I hope this turns out as good as it is looking to. And I hope poker goes well heh, at least here I feel much stronger already.

Graph since my epic fail post lol

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Comments (13)

sick shit

the fucking ignorance it breeds, the mind washing, the suppression.. .. hah, eradication of the logical faculties it facilitates.. disgusting

and along the way it divides individuals, divides families, divides entire peoples

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Comments (37)

The past week or so I've been really struggling with insomnia. And during the day I've been stuck in a strong malaise. Just feeling completely.. spent. I don't know if I'm getting sick or what. Hopefully it'll pass soon..

More importantly, I finally watched Rounders LOL. It was quite entertaining, Teddy KGB was hilarious and its funny to see where "maney" came from. Oddly I feel a bit more motivated.

Poker hasn't really improved or what not yet, winnings wise, but my volume has been small since my last blog because I've been seriously unable to concentrate or even stay awake for more than a couple of hours on end. I have been playing better the bit I have played, though. And I really appreciate all of the offers of assistance and I still have to take a couple of you up on a sweat and random hand discussion.

Graph since my blog
+ Show Spoiler +

Blogging done!

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Comments (5)

I am lost. I have no hope in me right now. I just feel completely helpless and numb. I don't understand how I can just be so bad, and run so bad, and yet still be so bad, after so much time and effort.

This month I'm down 1300.

I msg'd FTP And got my complete hand history for them.
This is my YTD graph.


And.. I'm literally down 2.5k lifetime at FTP. Up 6k with rakeback.. lawl at my life.

Annnnnnnnnnnd I'm up 1.9k lifetime at online poker, 16k with rakeback(a little more with some bonuses along the way). And way above EV too LOL!!!!!!!

I guess poker is a waste of time for me. IDK what I can accomplish at this point.

Still going to see what happens with my benchmark in august but it doesn't look bright.

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Comments (39)

Bleh, this month has been rough. And the past couple days I've just become overwhelmed with emotion so quickly I can't think straight for periods of time. Just trying to keep that shit away from the tables is taking a lot of strength, and I have faltered for a time and played some hands differently than I knew I ought to.

I feel weak, I am weak right now, idk.

pretty much all nl50

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Comments (14)

This shit isn't right. I don't know what to do.

Also I wasn't paying attention and opened nl100 rush table instead of nl50, my first hand is JJ in the bb vs bober in the sb. I get it in pre vs his QQ.

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Comments (21)