Ich wandere im Herbst

What have our parents done?

God is the whole. "I" am a part. I am something. I am approaching zero. Maybe I can get so close to 0 we are almost touching but I can't be nothing unless I am annihilated. Probably. I actually have no idea if we have a soul that is above annihilation. I've been to hell. Hell is infinity. Somehow my consciousness escaped. Probably extra Seroquil and time. There was no time in hell. For what seemed like an eternity I was in hell. It was probably only 10 days or so in Earth time. Maybe we can upload our conscioussness into something else but that seems complicated. There is no evidence that there is a God and there probably never will be. Seeing God in the Other or in the world's beauty is the imagination. Religious ceremonies as ritual and anti-production / anti-efficiency can probably even amount to spiritual experience. I have had what some people amount to profound spiritual experience or maybe I am deluding myself. I have been put into states of mind that can only be described as spiritual experience. That does not mean that God exists. The inception of the Universe is the whole. "I" am a part. I am here breathing. I breathe and I wait for God. What absurdity. Does it always come back to the existentialists?

I want to be more precise with my words.

The limit as x approaches infinity of 1 divided by x equals 0. Perhaps God is the whole. "I" am a part.

I want to be more precise with my words even if I am writing fast and this is merely a dead blog. Not entirely dead!

I wish to be moved by gothic spires and stained glass windows! But, I refuse to be baptised!

If you live by the sword you die by the sword. If you don't live by the sword you may die by the sword.

Do I really want to re-read The Stranger or Nausea? No. Being and Nothingness is an exciting tome of philosophy but I don't think it holds up as well as Being and Time. I'd rather re-read Moby Dick, Infinite Jest, Blood Meridian, Brothers Karamazov, Anna Karenina, these sorts of magical tomes. In another life I graduate university with a German degree move to Germany and learn real German with The Phenomenology of Spirit by Hegel and Sein und Zeit by Heidegger like one of my heroes Byung-Chul Han. I think Spirit is Geist in German but I have no idea what Phenomenology would be. Phanomenologie with an umlaut over the a. Perhaps it's a German word.

I don't know where my spiritual and intellectual homeland is. I don't think it's here. I'm moving soon. Maybe it will be there. I thought it was Paris but I wouldn't want to live there.

I cannot truly pray. I do not believe in God. I believe in the absence of God. Which does not mean that God does not exist. I believe in the silence of God. Maybe it was taken hostage. Maybe it will come back. God disappeared. I do not wish to wait but I do not wish to be a nihilist. I do not have to wait to create meaning for myself or is that a fool's errand? I walked past a cemetary today. One day I will die. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AUTHENTICITY! (Baudrillard)

If extreme attention is prayer maybe I can pray. I can play my bass guitar. I can paint.

I am not so big on consumption and production but I like to wear boxer briefs, jeans, hoodies, and eat bread and drink white tea. The crape myrtle are losing their leaves.

Damn, I want to go full Nihilism pill but I can only find Nihil Unbound in PDF. I'm not spending $135 for that effing book.

After Finitude by Quentin Meillassoux is up next.

A lamp-in-itself is x

I saw the lamp yesterday. It looked green. A scientist did some tests and said it was black 1 week ago.

Person A said the owner painted the lamp green because that is her favorite color.

Person B said the lamp was always black.

Person C said we can't know the color until we get another scientist in there.

Person D said clowns came out of the sky in a hot air balloon and painted it green.

Who is right? What are the probabilities of correctness?

The Universe is approximately 13.8 billion years old. The Earth is approximately 4.5 billion years old. Homo habilis existed approximately 2 million years ago. I trust the scientists to tell the lowercase truth also open to revision about events that took place before the existence of human consciousness.

It seems like some creationists put the creation of Earth and humans at 6,000 years ago. This does not mean that God does not exist. It certainly does not mean that God does exist. Furthermore, God may not exist and then one day exist. Nothing is necessary except contingency itself. This is the principle of factiality (factualite') (Quentin Meillassoux).

Hmmmm

What to do next...

Learn Set Theory or read Nihil Unbound by Ray Brassier?

I can probably get an inter library loan for Nihil Unbound.

That or get to Alan Badiou. I would need Set Theory for Being and Event or I could just pick up Infinite Thought.

I need someone like Stroggoz to guide me. I don't really want to try and piece it together with LLMs.

Stroggoz, where are you?

But, honestly, the real answer is just find a book I can work from and do the work. Not all that sexy. I think I would rather just read (non-Set Theory) philosophy.

I decided on getting Book of Proof by Richard Hammack and if I like that I'll go into Elements of Set Theory by Herbert B. Enderton.

Requested Nihil Unbound on the inter library loan. We'll see how that turns out.

Funny story at my expense. Book of Proof is available for free on PDF. So, I thought it would be worth it to print it out. I wasn't paying attention and the printer got majorly jammed and I think I might have broke it... T.T

I instantly tilt bought the paperback but it was only $26 so that's not too bad.

Empiricism and the Philosophyof Mind by Wilfrid Sellars until I can get the Nihil Unbound loan.

God does not exist but it might some day.

---

Religion is superstition.

---

Heretic season 2026.

I feel like ElkY with my shades on indoors. I had an eye exam today and they dilated my eyes. They also did not find any scarring that will cause me to go blind so that is a plus.

I've got my hoodie on and my jeans on. I feel like a million bucks. I could be broke and have a million dollar smile. (Lil Wayne)

"Live a regular and ordinary life like the bourgious so my art can be violent and original." (Flaubert)

I'm not really doing any art at the moment. I'm just reading essays on Meillassoux and doing math problems and playing my bass. I'm a bit surprised at how much fun I'm having learning set theory and proofs. The library requested Nihil Unbound a week ago and there have been no updates yet so I'm just reading whatever floats my boat until Nihil Unbound arrives (if it does).

I fixed the printer.

Badiou has a refreshing outlook on philosophy. I'll have to give Being and Event a go when I'm ready for it.

I'm trying to find the most obscure music on the planet that is still interesting:



I should be living in Japan or Brooklyn or Berlin or some shit.

-YTI7ss69k4&start_radio=1

-Y&start_radio=1

I think I won with that last one. No need to search any longer. The most obscure piece of music in the world that is interesting is:

Scratches on the Readable Surface (Cello Octet Version)

Composer = {Caterina Barbieri}

Performers = {Cello Octet Amsterdam}

Cello Octet Amsterdam = {Claire Bleumer, Esther Torrenga, Geneviève Verhage, Alistair Sung, Rare? Mih?ilescu, René van Munster, Sanne Bijker, Sanne van der Horst}

Guys,

Is the universe infinity? I calculated that the probability of the sun's failure to rise tomorrow at 1 in ~1.6 trillion. That is just going off of how many days the sun has risen on the planet Earth. I don't know if we can calculate probability like that. If the universe is infinite and there are infinite outcomes I'm not sure that probability can be calculated. It's not a 52 card deck of cards or a 6 faced dice. Hume says it is custom or habit that when we put a piece of wood on the fire we expect it to burn and build a larger, hotter fire. It's habit. We don't consider the reasons or possibilities. Meillassoux says that the only thing necessary is contingency. That log might not build a larger, hotter fire and there may be no reason for it and no way to calculate the probability. We live in a world of hyper-chaos. Anything can break down at any time for no reason. The universe is indifferent to humans. There is no cosmic meaning. God is dead or taken hostage or never existed in the first place. God may exist in the future. Religion is superstition. The good news is there can be Truth. Truth in science/math, politics, art, and love. I can meet the Other and fall in love and it can change my life. That is an Event. That is Badiou. An unimagined Truth in any of those four areas can cause an Event that can change the world. That seems like more than nothing. Something is more than nothing.

That last post is sloppy but it's got heart. I give it a B.

The LLMs and Logic Bros have some sense of a big brain but no heart. They are like the tin man.

We humans will go extinct one day. It's only a matter of when. I'm here, now. Gravity is binding. Bureaucracy is real. Suffering is unnavoidable. I am thinking about that Dylan Thomas poem right now. Do not go gentle into that good night! Rage, rage against the dying of the light!

I don't really care to argue about the existence of God.

I keep saying religion is a superstition without backing it up.

I would like to learn more about infinity, Cantor's diagonal argument, cardinality, transfinite sets ...

I'm not the most pleased with how I spent some of my attention today but I should cut myself some slack for my eyes being dilated for a large chunk of the day.

Ich wandere im Herbst

Je flâne au gré de l'automne

Je m'égare dans l'automne

Je chemine à travers l'automne

Je pérégrine en automne

I can't decide if I want to re-learn German or learn French. German is sexy. French is sexy as fuck.

et aussi une petite anecdote amusante:

En octobre, il faut que l'homme vite s'habille quand le mûrier se déshabille

Leibniz was the dude that is typically credited with the ideas of non-contradiction and sufficient reason. P cannot be P and not-P at the same time and so forth. Everything must have a sufficient reason and so forth. I'm pretty sold on the non-contradiction piece. Meillassoux uses it for his argument and it is groovy. Meillassoux, however, is not a fan of the sufficient reason idea. In fact, Meillassoux has his own principle of unreason. In Hume's log on fire example it's like yeah, but oxygen, yeah, but thermodynamics, but what about oxygen? O2? Why? Why? Why? What is underneath? I don't know man I'll have to ask some scientists. I'll have to ask Meillassoux. Meillasoux says there is no reason for anything. I know some scientists and got at least 1 to read After Finitude so we'll see what she thinks. I also need some lovers of Kant or full blown Kant scholars to read After Finitude to see what they think about the correlationist vs speculative materialist situation.

I have Busuu, I have the Anki flashcards, I have the Language Transfer content, I am looking to do like 2-3 italki sessions per week... I'm looking to survive Paris in about 3 months. But in reality I may never go to Paris again. Speaking of Paris it's tough to tell over here what exactly is going on over there. Moving to Paris is a pipedream. And I don't really have a choice where I live, at least not yet, at least not for 12 years. I will move to Ohio and that is really the only choice I have. It will not be my spiritual and intellectual homeland but that is ok. I can still access my culture through the internet and there is a good library nearby.

Who knows if this little flourish of French will stick? I don't think I actually have the motivation to keep it up. I'll just have to make it a habit and a custom. It would be so much easier to touch up my German and move to Berlin (another pipedream). I think very few people dream of moving to Ohio. It's not bad. I'll be near family and some friends. The outlook there is brighter than my existence here. I've let my existence here get a little out of hand. I'm just lucky I'm content with going on walks, reading philosophy, and doing math problems all day.

Je veille

avec les chouettes

J'écoute battre le silence

Mon âme guette

Je contemple l'essence du vivant

Mon esprit erre

Je flâne

pour

pour

quelque chose, rien

Me faire revivre

Je suis le prince des rats

Je trotte dans les souterrains à la recherche de pain

En chaque miette, je trouve ma force

Je suis las comme un paresseux

Je me balade dans la gadoue

J'ai perdu ma chaussure

Que ferai-je?

La chaussure est perdue

Que ferai-je?

Je n'en peux plus

Je dormirai dans la boue

Que la vase m'engloutisse

Laisse-moi dormir pendant deux jours

Le bourbier sera mon tombeau

Et la nuit suivante, je ressusciterai comme un vampire

Et je me nourrirai du sang de ton cœur

Je vais te manger le cœur

Accompagnez-le d’un vin rouge de Bourgogne

Boire environ vingt verres

Puis vingt verres de plus

Je suis soûl

J’ai retrouvé mon âme

Je marche sur le monde

Ne t'inquiète pas, ce sera bientôt fini

Il s'est évanoui couvert de vomi

Il flotte un parfum de cœur et de Bourgogne

Pour cette nuit, il s'est éteint

Je flâne, mélancolique, parmi les feuilles d’or

Mon esprit s'égare au souffle de l'automne

Je regarde fixement les tombes dans le cimetière

Un jour, ce sera mon tour

Reposer avec les vers

Manger les pissenlits par la racine

C'est comme ça

C'est la vie, c'est la mort

Un toast à l'existence

Jusqu’à l'extinction des nôtres

une journée à la plage

sentir la brise, observer les oiseaux

trois mouettes et un pigeon

une peste de quiscales

je marche tout doucement

le ciel est d'un bleu éclatant

nul nuage à l'horizon

le seul blanc est la mouette en quête de nourriture

ma faim finit par m'entraîner, moi aussi, dans une quête

l’heure du déjeuner est passée

je veux du pain comme la mouette

LP is full of funny ppl these days. i still post cuz im a bit funny myself -_-; hi rpp rikd hru beside the usual anything good these days

C'est l'heure du thé blanc

Juste assez chaud

Ça fait du bien par où ça passe

On October 27 2026 22:00 newgeinnings wrote: LP is full of funny ppl these days. i still post cuz im a bit funny myself -_-; hi rpp rikd hru beside the usual anything good these days

On October 28 2026 04:22 PuertoRican wrote: Show nested quote + On October 27 2026 22:00 newgeinnings wrote: LP is full of funny ppl these days. i still post cuz im a bit funny myself -_-; hi rpp rikd hru beside the usual anything good these days

lol

L'homme de fer n'a pas de cœur

similaire un Zet ou l'IA

machine à calculer

pas un cereveau humain

sans cœur et sans cerveau humain

pas humain

God is good?

x is an element of A

A = {... African children working in cobalt mines, Africans getting their eyes eaten by flies, Chinese sweat shop workers ...}

That's a LARGE set of human sufferers.

Maybe there is a God but if so it is not good. Maybe there is not a God. Maybe someday there will be a just, loving God.

Around 75 billion chickens are slaughtered globally each year for meat.

I would like to believe in a future just, loving God that resurrects trillions of chickens and puts them in chicken fun parks where the factory farms used to be.

You may be wondering about the almost transfinite amounts of chicken shit. Well, in this future world resurrected chickens shit out fresh lavendar.

Chillin' killin' some time before dinner listenin' to some Portishead in the crib. My head hurts a little getting through a bunch of set theory problems. Who the fuck sits around doing math problems at 44? I'm a bit sick. No course, no instructor, just me and my math problems. I basically just did math problems and read philosophy all day. I'm kind of intellectually spent which never happens to me. I am usually always hungry for more. Now, I want to scroll Reddit or watch some stupid tv show. But I won't. This is kind of a breather. I don't think I'll top my last post: A just, loving God that resurrects trillions of chickens who shit fresh lavendar.

dilemme spectral

Dieu existe et il pue

ou

Dieu n'existe pas et ça chelingue

mais

un Dieu juste et aimant pourrait exister à l'avenir

cela pourrait ressusciter toutes les morts injustes

sûrement les humains anthropocentriques d'abord

la volaille abattue?

Le Dieu juste et aimant ramènerait les poulets par milliers de milliards

le Dieu juste et aimant mettrait les poulets dans des parcs d'attractions pour poulets

et la merde alors?

le Dieu juste et aimant ferait en sorte qu'ils fassent de la lavande fraîche

lavande transfinie pour tous

a lavande plutôt que les fermes-usines

un Dieu futur, virtuel, juste et aimant, plutôt que la puanteur d’un Dieu puant ou que pas de Dieu du tout

la vache

la vache mange de l'herbe et boit du bourgogne millésimé tout en se faisant masser

elle vit jusqu'à l'âge de 30 ans, où elle prend sa retraite pour manger de l'herbe, boire du bourgogne millésimé et se faire masser

ne voit jamais un couteau de boucher