Appendix = Out

I've been going for a lot of walks. Just gentle walks around the neighborhood like 15 - 30 min. My last walk of the night tonight I was in my phone walking super slow as far to the right as I could go listening to something like that Alter Ego by Tame Impala. Then this woman in pink and black flashes by me. I didn't hear her at all but she kind of like cut me off but I was going so slow in my phone it didn't matter but I looked up and there was literally the best ass and shape I've ever seen in my life then the lyric "1 to 1 out of a dream." It was like something out of a movie. The lights changed. She jogged off. I unabashadley watched the whole thing tranpsire. It felt like God was on my side in those moments. Like it actually felt like that. My God would of course be a strange God. Throw the kid in a hospital for a week but then give him a glimpse of God. She didn't run particularly athletic. That was fine. She ran more feminine than athletic and I liked that.

YSL LNDLH + Billie Eilish at 5am. Yes.

It looks like I will be spending more time on here now that x.com is gone. I don't know if that's a great thing. The Signal is gone. The Entertainment is gone. Hell, 95% of the posters are gone. Maybe 98%. Maybe 99%. Hell, maybe only a handful of legitimate people have posted in the last 3 months.

I would like to start a new writing project. I just don't know what to write about. I could try to finish my current writing project but maybe I'm still too close to it. I also don't feel like paying for beta readers. That one might be sitting in the drawer for a while.

Many times of the day this site doesn't even cross my mind (surprise non?). Sometimes it crosses my mind and it would seem like posting is the most trivial, stupid thing I could do. No one is posting. No one is coming back. Then there is that time (like now) where I throw on some music and just start typing. X.com is a goner. I am thoroughly thrilled with that. That site is the worst. It did provide 10-30 min. pockets of something. Really just sapping me of spirit 10-30 min. at a time. I have to find something to fill those gaps and even though I am in the moment posting right now I hope to God it isn't this.

I am still recovering from 2 surgeries. It is 90+ degrees outside. My lower back, hips, and hamstrings are so God damn tight it hurts.

The gratitude seems to be straining at the moment. I am happy to be breathing. It is just a bitch to be breathing sometimes. Not that breathing is even that difficult at the moment. My surgeries were a week ago. My memory isn't that short. I'm going out to get some Thai food at 5pm. That just seems like an impossibly long time away at the moment. I would make some music but I don't even know if I should sing with a hernia. I would write but I don't know what to write God damnit. My friend says I should write a short story about my VIKING PRINCESS at the gym - who I won't see for 6 weeks.

I am reading Faulkner which is good. I am thinking about reading the Bible next or maybe Ulysses by Joyce. I'm kind of into reading interesting voices lately. The Road by McCarthy was quite good in its own way too.

Getting wheeled up to the operation room is an intense situation. Getting met by the Anasthesiologist with his list of questions. Like, "Here goes buddy!" Getting wheeled into the operating room. "Breathe deep, keep breathing, breath deep! (you are going under, you might die)" You might die. Yeah, you might die. You might die. I'm glad I got that enraged bastard appendix out but recovery is tough. If you asked me if I was recovered a week and a half later I would say no. I just started sleeping on my right side.

Where did the gratitude go? I was filled with gratitude the day after my surgery even though I was confined to a bed, confined to an iv, confined to stare at a blue curtain all day. It seems like now I am back to the scared little anxiety infused chimpanzee that has the mind to think about Non-Oedipus: Schizophrenia and Capitalism by Delueze and Guatarri and comprehend Absalom, Absalom! by Faulkner but can't seem to figure out much else. Maybe that is the problem. I'm always trying to figure stuff out instead of just doing it.

On August 30 2026 19:56 RiKD wrote: Show nested quote + On August 30 2026 11:27 KeyleK_uk wrote: get well soon! Have you seen fallout and/or the expanse for TV recommendations. On a side note i have been with 3 people with appendicitis' first one i had no idea but i diagnosed the other ones within a couple of hours. The second time i was Sunday MTT grinding with a friend and during the break he said "im just going to have a lay down on the floor during the break because in too much pain." That was when i was pretty sure it was an appendicitis lol. Amazingly he messaged Stars with his hospital notes etc and they refunded all of his buyins (about 1200 usd). Thanks mate ^^! I was never into the Fallout genre but The Expanse looks super good. I'd like to see a world that has blown up across the solar system politically, etc.

The expanse is super good, to be honest it took me a few goes to get into it, i got a few episodes in and a few months later started again... Same thing happened to me with the Wire however many years ago and then you get to a certain point and just cant turn it off. I think its because both have many characters and stories it takes a while to get emotionally invested in the shows even if you can see the quality is there.

I didn't know The Expanse was a book series first. If it's worth it I would probably rather read the book series first.

On September 04 2026 23:59 RiKD wrote: I didn't know The Expanse was a book series first. If it's worth it I would probably rather read the book series first.

I didnt know also, lol. Thanks.

So, my brother keeps trying to get me to consume this Manhwa Tower of God. It has potential but I absolute hate the medium of Webtoons. I despise the scrolling mechanics. I am trying to avoid scrolling on my phone in any form. I could get it on my computer. I may do that someday but for now I bought some backup for the boredom: Berserk and Saga. I'm jumping back in. I finished the Saga compendium ages ago and was going to let it catch up a bit but now I'm in for Vol. 10 and probably 11 and 12. Berserk I am holding off of until I finish the Saga even though I think I love it more than Saga. I have read the first 3 volumes so have 11 volumes left. That is like $400 I don't want to spend. Saga Vol. 10 is $10 for 160 pages in a medium that I love: paperback. Similar to the graphic novels I loved as a kid. Saga Compendium Vol. 1 - Vol. 9 is a fucking brick which took a little away from the reading experience but it's all good.

Aktually, I can probably get Berserk on an inter-library loan. Ship it.

I just looked it up. I don't even need an interlibrary loan. They have it at the branch. Libraries are awesome!

I had some tenderness on my lower left abdomen area for a week or so, but it recently went away. I have been monitoring it lately.

Were you recommended to do or not do something by your doctor? Like, don't eat certain foods, or don't stay on your feet for extended periods of time?

I have no idea what that could be. Appendicitis is lower right abdomen and the pain is pretty bad. I was recommended to not lift anything over 5 to 10 pounds for 6 weeks and no strenuous activity for 6 weeks. They also found that I had a hernia and did surgery on that too.

probably cancer

Well, since all I can really do is take gentle walks and read novels that's what I've been doing. Finished Absalom, Absalom! by Faulkner a while ago. Same with The Road by Cormac McCarthy. Absalom, Absalom! is a masterpiece and The Road isn't far off. I just finished Light in August by Faulkner. That is pretty good too. A fine novelly novel by Faulkner. Now, I'm on to No Country For Old Men by McCarthy. I've got Saga Vol. 10 sitting on the table downstairs, and I've got a hold on Berserk down at the local library. Pretty good place to be I guess. There is still time for white tea and LP.

I got the rotation moving along although I finished No Country For Old Men. Decent book. Well, better than decent. I'm almost finished with Saga Vol. 10 as well. Still have plenty to go in Berserk 4 Deluxe Edition. I just slotted in Outer Dark by Cormac McCarthy. Not sure about it yet. The writing is quite different to his later years. I'm only like 25 pages in.

In other news, I am cleared for all activity. Probably, going back to work next week.

glad you are better rikd grats

It feels like I'm about all used up with this novelette I've been workin' on. I don't feel like paying for beta readers on fiverr either. So, it sits in the drawer. I'm ok with that.

The next creative writing project has not seemed to materialize yet. That is ok too. To be honest, I haven't spent much time with the blank page. I've been busy readin'. I've got half of a novel sittin'. It's too messed up for wantin' to bother with it. I'm sure it's got some bright spots but for now and forever probably just gonna sit there at 33,000 words.

Someone suggested getting an MfA in Creative Writing. I don't think I want to go down that path. Someone suggested getting a PhD in English. I really have no idea if that is a good idea.

I guess I am processing stuff with these blogs. Allegedly processing stuff with these blogs. I look at the life of Cormac McCarthy. He had nothing to do with TV, the Internet, or technology and had countless hobbies he was excellent at, read approximately 16,000 books, wrote 12 probably great novels, fellow at the Sante Fe Institute, etc. He never had a blog. He never ran to the internet. I strive for that. It's why I am posting less. It's why I got the hell off of x.com. Writing on here or running to the internet is a surrogate for writing or reading for real. But it's not like I can just read Blood Meridian for 12 hours a day. I'm out of my writing practice. It's not like it's realistic to write 2,000 words a day at the moment or maybe ever. I'm not Brandon Sanderson or Steven King.

The more I post. The more I check. The more I check. The more I post. Runnin' off to the internet more and more. Runnin' off my mouth more and more.

On September 06 2026 03:48 PuertoRican wrote: I had some tenderness on my lower left abdomen area for a week or so, but it recently went away. I have been monitoring it lately. Were you recommended to do or not do something by your doctor? Like, don't eat certain foods, or don't stay on your feet for extended periods of time?

Yeah, appendicitis lower right abdomen and its not slow either.
Lower left abdomen is the most common place for pain as its where your intestine gets the smallest, more fibre, exercise, sleep, water and less stress are the best cures

On September 16 2026 23:27 KeyleK_uk wrote: Show nested quote + On September 06 2026 03:48 PuertoRican wrote: I had some tenderness on my lower left abdomen area for a week or so, but it recently went away. I have been monitoring it lately. Were you recommended to do or not do something by your doctor? Like, don't eat certain foods, or don't stay on your feet for extended periods of time? Yeah, appendicitis lower right abdomen and its not slow either. Lower left abdomen is the most common place for pain as its where your intestine gets the smallest, more fibre, exercise, sleep, water and less stress are the best cures