It's getting hot outside. And green. Summer will be here in exactly one month: June 21, 2026. Are you ready? Are you ready for today? Are you ready for this moment?
A new epoch can start on any day and in any moment.
I am just plodding along Reign of the Warlock. Got The Cube (Horadric) a couple of hours ago. Not sure if I'll play anymore tonight. I kind of want to start an assassin (my favorite class). We have to go with what we are passionate about. I am passionate about Heads-Up No Limit Hold 'Em. So, I'll just play The Machine when I feel like it and it won't be a big thing. I don't love it enough to escrow thousands to people to play people on Discord. That is a lot of fucking friction. 6-max online NLHE or PLO is kind of out too. I'm just not that passionate about it. I didn't like Ignition. I didn't like ACR. I don't get a good feeling about WPT Club Gold. I get a worse feeling about Coin Poker. There are currently no live options where I live. There will be plentiful live options where I move to in 1-2 years. So, basically I should stop ruminating on it and just table it until I move.
That is not necessarily the end of the story. There is a burnrate associated with GTO Wizard. Maybe some day I just get completely bored with that too then I cancel it and move on.
Magic: The Gathering
No local scene. Don't really feel like playing Arena. I've brought it up before but Slay The Spire 2 probably scratches that itch. When Diablo II: Reign of the Warlock loses it's luster maybe it's time for Slay The Spire 2 or maybe I get both at the same time. That should solve that. Maybe where I move to will have a strong paper Magic scene but again until then I gotta table it and forget about it.
Chess or Scrabble or Backgammon
Dark Horses. 3 classics that I've dabbled in the past. I'm not ruling any one of these out.
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I would like some more room on my computer and I am not making any music at the moment. I'm going to keep all my Ableton Live files but get rid of Reaper and all of my VSTs. It's just too much crap on my computer and I am not using any of it and I just need to completely start from scratch when I feel like making music again. I will save the stuff I dig from Reaper and then that is it.
Robots and AI will overtake Earth. Will there really be a Universal High Income and cheaper and better medical care? How soon will this happen? What is the future for humans on Earth?
What should we be doing in the next 1-5 years given the uncertainty surrounding the future?
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PuertoRican United States. May 23 2026 05:23. Posts 13256
On May 22 2026 02:02 RiKD wrote:
It's getting hot outside. And green. Summer will be here in exactly one month: June 21, 2026. Are you ready? Are you ready for today? Are you ready for this moment?
Yes. I am ready.
I'll be in the Philippines from June 30 to August 9. Can't wait for summer to start.
its hot in the ph rn I hear, wonder how hot it will be from those dates but I can wait for summer cuz I am enjoying the modest 20 degrees weather. 28+ degrees gets a little too hot for me now so hopefully this year it won't go past that but I know it will n I will have to survive it somehow. maybe go to the beach or something iono will be a funny summer nonetheless cuz world up is coming to town, looking forward to a good showing from Canada GL
On May 23 2026 15:16 newgeinnings wrote:
its hot in the ph rn I hear, wonder how hot it will be from those dates but I can wait for summer cuz I am enjoying the modest 20 degrees weather. 28+ degrees gets a little too hot for me now so hopefully this year it won't go past that but I know it will n I will have to survive it somehow. maybe go to the beach or something iono will be a funny summer nonetheless cuz world up is coming to town, looking forward to a good showing from Canada GL
I remember I watched this documentary called like Minimalism or something like that. It was a bunch of software engineers that retired from their jobs and starting working in grocery stores part-time. I thought I would be EXTRA minimal and just work at a grocery store part-time. Bad idea.
I remember when I was working in a sales job in the steel industry my job was actually pretty interesting. There is something to be said for that. It's the same with poker. Sometimes poker really sucked. Poker isn't interesting when you downswung for 30k hands or something like that. Trying to play poker through a depression is fucking depressing.
I need to find some happy medium. In the steel industry I was getting to the point where I could take a technical product manager job before I fucked it all up. That is probably outside of my reach now a days but there has got to be something out there. Not just fucking retail bullshit or food and bev bullshit. That is why I feel trapped.
Maybe it doesn't matter. Robots will take over everything and the poors will get thrown into virtual reality prisons. The experience machine. I would prefer not to. I would prefer not to.
China has the manufacturing. China has the chips. China has the energy infrastrcuture and the future energy infrastructure. It's making me want to learn Chinese but I was learning Chinese and it's extremely difficult. It's also not particularly a passion of mine. It's just a matter of time before I get thrown into a USA virtual reality prison or a Chinese virtual reality prison. I'm rooting for the USA virtual reality prison. USA USA USA!
I was listening to Travis Scott one time and he was rapping about how his dick is the size of a Pringles can and I didn't believe him but then I was searching for some pornography with Valentina Nappi and one of them this dude not only had a penis the size of a Pringles can but it might have been bigger so I guess it's possible. That was a Blacked pornogrpahy. I think they are made pretty well but not really my thing because I don't have a fantasy of being a black dude with a huge dick.
I am starting to get the urge to make music again. I had a dream where Pharrell Williams discovered me somehow and was urging me to make music. Dreams are strange.
I started drawing again too. I used to love to draw and I found out I still do. I can only do so many Countess runs. On my first Warlock I got a first run Tal and a second run Eth. I also got an early 10% FCR ring and a Nagel ring on my first Warlock. On my third Warlock I don't know how many runs it was but I have 5 Tal runes and now I have 1 Eth.
I have been thinking I want more out of life. What do I want though?
I want what I want when I want it.
I should probably get back into Buddhism or something. Read the Tao again. Study Chinese.
I think seeing a therapist can stimulate something. Maybe. Maybe not. I see a therapist because it is part of my treatment plan. I don't know if I necessarily expect revelation. It's nice having someone to talk to about whatever is on my mind.
I want what I want when I want it.
It's definitely just about summer out here in these streets. The magnolias are blooming. The local fruit is GOOD. I am listening to disco.
I'm dancing my ass off to some fucking disco.
I'm trying to keep myself adaptable and also human. The robots and AI will take over but we have to keep our humanity. There are a lot of idiots that compare apples to apples between a computer "brain" and our human brain. They are fucking idiots. We have a human brain and a human heart and a human soul. Dostoevsky was a human. That guy was definitely a human. I'm re-reading Notes From The Underground because some friends are reading it for the first time. Pretty stoked about that.
The big question mark for me is where does all that surplus labor value go to? Even if these CEOs are talking about a Universal High Income we all know they are going to grab for as much of it as possible. I'm all for nuclear and solar. Let's just do it intelligently.
But, man, sometimes it doesn't have to be so serious all the time. I have no jokes at the moment though...
I could go for a blowjob by Vienna Black. I've said this before and I'll say it again I think women are pretty good at that kind of thing these days. Just as guys are better at locating the clitoris and eating a woman out properly. I am a jaguar, I am a panther, I am a tiger.
After my last post I went and watched some Tim Dillon, Bill Hicks, and Doug Stanhope. It's not so much that I laughed because it didn't really get me laughing but I did feel better about this existence.
I don't feel like going to sleep. I don't feel like going to work tomorrow. C'est la vie.
Like I'm going to come up with some revelation here... HA!
I just enjoy listening to some music and typing on the keyboard. It's better than playing Solitare.
I have to plan out my re-entry into music. I'm definitely going with Reaper but will see what else I'll go with...
Had a little Karaoke sesh by myself:
Thinking 'Bout You - Frank Ocean
All I Need - Radiohead
That was good.
I may be on the borderline of getting manic. Supersonic. My existance. Can't resist us. I've got to keep it at bay as much as I want to go full throttle.
Right now everyone is helping me. I am friendly with The Machine(s). Most apes are frustrated with the machines and have no patience. It's ok. All we can do is pray for forgiveness. For understanding, for courage, for strength. FOR GRACE.
Nietzsche said something about how you gotta dance everyday. "A day is not lived unless one has danced!" or some shit like that. I agree. I am a lot happier when I'm dancing.
So, how can I reconcile "God is dead and we killed him!" with "God, give me strength, give me courage, give me understanding, give me forgiveness, GIVE ME GRACE"
If I make it to Heaven I promise I won't laugh at the expense of people in Hell. I've been to Hell. It is no place for humans. That is why I have to keep the mania in check. Going back to Hell is a very bad outcome. I promise not to laugh at programmers that told truck drivers and coal miners to learn how to code. It turns out Karma is a mother fucker and The Machines will take their jobs first.
I'm running with the wolves tonight. I'm running with the woo- ooo - oolves. I always say I come alive at night. I didn't even drink any caffeine. If the moon was full I'd be howlin'. I'm howlin' regardless. I wish people would respond to my blog and help me out with a lot of these problems. My personal problems and the problems of the world. It would be a lot easier for me to organize around this website than to actually go out and organize. I think for a lot of people this website helped in self-serving reasons to aquire dinero. Although a pretty decent community developed from that. It grew around the poker boom of 2005. It's crazy to think we would see action in 2026 when for me it's not even a sane move to put like $300 on a site and practice playing a game I love. That's fine. I'm better off not 1-2 tabling 20 NL. I just have to find things worthwhile. Diablo II is close but hackin' and slashin' some demons is good fun sometimes. MUSIC!
Late Night Lonely Karaoke II:
Retrograde - James Blake
We already know 2 of my pillars are walks and reading. MUSIC would be number 3. I'm drawing again. We'll see if that lasts. I would like some social connection not at work but there is opportunity for some connection at work...
Of course I want Vienna Black calibre blow jobs but I also want a human brain and a human heart and a human soul. I don't want Chat GPT and a fleshlight.
Freedom!
What does that mean today?
Our generation is the last generation to know what it was like without smart phones.
I am free from alcohol and drugs. That is a pretty good start. I need to put into place some long term vision type things so I know how to aim. I think high up there or at least the first one I thought about was not losing my humanity. Not losing my freedom but how I define freedom seems complicated.
What does freedom mean to you?
Now, I'm at the part of my blog where I'm really enjoying listening to music but the words are not pouring out...
Beautiful, Big Titty, Butt-Naked Women Don't Just Fall Out Of The Sky, You Know
How are you doing?
How am I doing?
I'm survivin'. I don't drink and drive anymore so far so that is good. I DJ'd this party one time and I got the girls going crazy. They were dancing on tables, dancing on me, dancing like the world was going to end (it is). That felt amazing. That felt powerful. The women were trying to help me hookup with the hot bartender. That was ideal besides the excessive drinking. I wussied out and left before I fucked things up. Probably had about 20 units of alcohol in me and I got behind the wheel to drive home. I casually stopped at a Popeye's Chicken because Popeye's Chicken is the shiznit.
??????
?????????
??????
When I look through the looking glass,
I see you, baby,
To climb a concrete castle,
I could make it in one leap,
If only I were more powerful!
If only I were more powerful. They appreciate power.
I felt powerful when I was DJ'ing. I felt powerful when I was making women dance on tables and dance on me and dance like the world was going to end (it is). I had 3 hot women wingmanning for me. I did leave at the peak which isn't terrible. I don't think I ever went back to that place. Rehab. Moving cities. Sobriety. 12 years. I feel the opposite of power working as a retail cashier. The clitoris shrivels up. The vagina dries up like the dry, dry dessert. Even my height and resonant deep voice can't turn things around. I mean we could have a fun time, a good time but no one is dating a retail cashier in their 40s. That is a story I tell myself anyways.
I want to live,
Let me see,
I hear the phantoms in the distance,
I feel electricity in my dreams,
I smell the magnolias in the late spring,
I wish to touch the outer boundaries of your soul.
Another night, another night I'm looking to land smoothly.
Mirtazapine - Chk
White tea - Chk
Well, one thing I'm not doing is playing solitaire.
I don't know what is with this obsession with Grimes. What started with Visions (an album I loved and still love) can turn into this thing where she is like a spirit fairy angel of some sort even though now a days or maybe all of the days she's mostly incoherent.
I like concrete cubes.
I wish I knew Russian. My grandmother spoke Russian. She taught me some things to say but the Cyrrilic alphabet is a whole 'nother beast to tackle.
One of my sister-in-law's best friends is Russian. At my brother's wedding she came onto me. She gave me the choice of going to a nearby bar with her after the reception. I chose to go back to the hotel with my cousins. I actually had a really good time with my cousins but sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to party with the Hot Russian. Drink vodka and fuck. What sucks is after rejecting her she hated me. Not that I ran into her that often. Lol memories...
I'm tired man. It's getting past my bed time.
After looking into all these options of playing poker online none of them look apealling. I've really lost motivation to study GTO Wizard. It's basically fallen off. I already paid for this month so it's basically throwing money down the drain if I don't study which people predicted would happen including me...
There is a new waitress I have a crush on. She's down the street at the local Italian joint. Beautiful, big titty, butt-naked women don't just fall out of the sky, you know. I mean whatever. More importantly this place has really good fucking food. I don't have the power to pick up waitresses and bartenders or at least that is the story I tell myself. She's probably too young. That's another story I tell myself. Whatever. It doesn't fucking matter. I'm not going to flirt with this poor waitress trying to make a paycheck.
I wonder how many blogs I've written talking about some lost opportunity in the past with women or the waitress I have a crush on?
I think I can be a really lonely guy sometimes. Then, other times be oblivious. All I need is Chat GPT and a fleshlight. It seems like a waste but all those hours last month studying GTO Wizard was super fun.
Meh, my tea is almost done and I'm past my bedtime.
Improv was cool. I think that was a unique way that I was good at expressing myself. Then, I was doing it like every night and started doing paid gigs. I burnt out. Haven't done it since. That is a shame.
I am still figuring out ways to express myself. Nothing quite beats killing at improv. I've never tried stand-up. But, honestly, just drawing in my room alone is a great form of expression for me. Painting.... Fuck, I miss painting. Singing, dancing, making music. I need it all I think. I think I have a low tolerance for boring and ordinary. Like, I want aliveness and intense aliveness more than the average human. It's like nothing is ever good enough. Except for sleeping in, drinking coffee, lifting, and post-workout nutrition. Although I ate at the local Italian down the street. It was delicious. Got the same waitress as last week. She didn't have her tits out. What a shame. She is too young for me. She has a cool name. Whatever. The food was delicious. I love Italian food.
High tops in the summer. Don't be a bummer babe. Be my undercover lover babe.
There is no such thing as authenticity. I find that liberating. I don't have to fret over it. It's just there or not there. I can buy some high tops and just say I'm human and persuaded by Lana Del Rey. Or, I can wisen up and say fuck it I don't need high tops. That's why I need lifting though. Do you know how good it feels to get a Street Fighter II Turbo PERFECT in the weight room?
fk I hear yea rikd "now what" for me as well. im gonna go to the casino to play some baccarat later but im not gambling big gonna bring 50$ n see if I can run it up.
usually this time of the year ill be laying at the beach but that shit doesn't interest me too much anymore. I dont really want to play poker today cuz tilted from yesterday.
waking n just printing money doesn't happen anymore sadly so shit LOL.
I'm just sitting around waiting for a friend to call me back. I'm in that kind of weird space where I am just sort of setting up a clean landing for sleep. It doesn't really matter what I do besides not slamming an energy drink and getting involved with something activating. I'm just sippin' on a white tea listening to some music clicking and clacking on the keyboard.
I don't think I have any revelations to share. Life is generally not like that. I had a pretty good day though.
"In the land of Gods and monsters, I was an angel, looking to get fucked hard." - Lana Del Rey
I don't know if this friend is going to call me back tonight. Which is annoying to just sit around doing whatever but I already did enough today and doing whatever is exactly what I need.
One of my walks today I went through the forest because I couldn't bear to walk through the suburbs again. With all of their houses and lawns and cars. I am a product of white suburbia. Maybe I'm a little strange. Maybe I've gone through some fucked up shit which made me stranger. I don't really know. Truth has dissapeared. Reality has disappeared. Authenticity was never there to begin with. Motion within collapse. Is that all that I can hope for? Entropy, inertia, it's all fucked up. Wouldn't it be better to meditate in the middle of the deep forest by a waterfall?
But, I decide to drink white tea, listen to music, and write write write.
I enjoy it more than playing solitaire.
I enjoy it more than playing solitaire.
Just typing out "I enjoy it more than playing solitaire" is more enjoyable than playing solitaire.
Shit, I am restless all of a sudden. Time for another walk.
That is what is capturing the moment. Instead of drinking Red Bull vodkas and taking ecstasy I drank some water and took some Mirtazapine. I want a hot bitch to use her vagina and her body and cum in her face and fall asleep. Fuck making love. That is for nerds.
I'm definitely winding down for the night. Maybe I'll read some more Dostoevsky and crash.
So Heavy I Fell Through The Earth - Art Mix by Grimes is kind of lovely and dreamy at this point in time.
I'm sleepy but I can't sleep. I wish this damn friend would call me back. Sometimes on these Mondays and Tuesdays I get lonely. Maybe I don't want to use up a cum dumpster and kick her out of the crib. Maybe I want to cuddle and talk about dreams. Smoke a cigarette. Be quiet. Lie there. Be OK. Listen to some Radiohead. Make some breakfast. Make some pancakes. Make some coffee. Talk about who knows what?
I think my last image trifecta (quadfecta?) might be my favorite. At least that was my mood at the time.
My electric guitar setup is so money but my bass setup is so shit. I need new strings on both. It starts to get expensive with lessons and everything but it's probably worth if if I can get closer to what I want to do. I fucking love GTO Wizard but if I'm not actually playing any hands of real poker there just doesn't seem like any motivation there. I can get with studying like 2 hours a day or so for 2 months to then go on to mixing it up with the real thing but there is no real thing. If I can spend $99/month on GTO Wizard I can drop GTO Wizard and study the guitar for $200/month. Of course, there are restringing and setups which cost more. I don't know. It's not something I have to decide on at 10:17pm on a Monday night.
I don't actually want to start smoking cigarettes again but people are naive if they don't think there are benefits to cigarettes. Of course, there are benefits to cigarettes but there are also a lot of negatives. For me the negatives outweigh the benefits but I do miss smoking sometimes. Just as I miss drinking and doing drugs. I miss fragments of time. On the whole it's a disaster.
Listenin' to Bon Iver and chillin'. I'm grasping on to being awake because it feels like I don't actually want to sleep yet. I've been having good dreams lately too.
There is something serene about taking a shit in peace. Work shits are always rushed and in public bathrooms. It's nice to just take some time to have a bowell movement at the pace of the bowell movement.
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United States. May 22 2026 03:02. Posts 9886
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