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RiKD    United States. Sep 12 2023 03:47. Posts 8404
Just felt like it was the most important thing ever to let you know that I am done with Hegel for now. The Phenomenology was enough for now. I like Hegel but he can be annoying to read sometimes and the payout isn't quite as high as for other philosophers. Basically, I am not ready nor in the mood to dive deeper. I'd rather get back to re-reading Nietzsche. I'm hitting up the trifecta of Nietzsche coming of age meaning Human, All Too Human, The Gay Science, and Thus Spoke Zarathustra. Then, I have some Heidegger that I have been wanting to get through. It's kind of a lot. We get all these books without necessarily thinking about the time to read them all. I'm trying not to race through them either. The best books should be read slowly making sure to absorb every last drop. That is probably an impossible task so really I just enjoy reading and whatever follows follows.

It's funny no one commenting on my anti-religion comments. I understand that #1 there are not many people on this site anymore but more importantly this idea that God is dead and we killed him (Nietzsche) is almost some sort of non-chalant truth these days. Nietzsche wrote that in the early 1880s?

God is dead and we killed him. God is dead and no one cares (Trent Reznor). In a lot of circles it is just not that big of a deal. I get it and I am happy for it. Even though I am not sure what replaces it?

The Other, Nature, Music, Philosophy... something like that?

I don't like my job but I like the benefits and the money it is bringing in. What do I do? I don't know what to do.

I am always tired. It's classic Burnout Society. I've read that book 5+ times and I still end up there.

I hit it off with my barber today. That was fun. We just talked about anime, video games, and music. She has a boyfriend but gave me her card and told me to friend her on facebook. I should have said I don't have facebook because I don't. She said we should go lift together. I am unsure what I am going to do about this situation. It would be nice to have a new friend. I suppose it's easier to just ghost the situation but she cuts my hair well too so I would like her to cut my hair in the future.

I don't know man. Today I was thinking about people on LP that I miss. Then, in poker that I miss but that was all around 15 years ago. I have to find new friends. Real friends. True companions. I need to find The Other.

It all started when I saw TillerMaN was not going to be playing in the WarIII WCG because he was playing poker. Then, I saw Rekrul and Elky and the bunch doing well. I put $150 on Stars and never looked back. Then, I was a pussy and took a job at one of my highest earning potentials in poker. Then, I booked a flight for Buenos Aires, Argentina. I remember I didn't tell anyone I was going until the day of I asked my mom to take me to the airport. But, this is all ages ago.

Are you playing Starfield or Baldur's Gate 3?

I am playing Baldur's Gate 3 for now but a friend told me I have to play Starfield.

So, I've got 2 blogs at the top. Hopefully, we get a travel blog from PuertoRican, a live poker blog from DoomeR in which he crushes the game that day, some weird blog from lostaccount with weird YouTube videos of Christ and who knows what else, I'm probably forgetting some people. NewbSaibot is going to have a disciplined September and win $5k+ in NLHE. I still have love for the LP Spirit albeit its shoddy state in 2023.

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RiKD    United States. Sep 12 2023 03:53. Posts 8404

A note on friends. The biggest factor in friendship is proximity. I am not saying the friends I had from 2006-2010 were not real friends or true companions. In the moment I thought it would never end. But, people move and move on.

RiKD    United States. Sep 12 2023 04:29. Posts 8404

I'm sitting here listening to Balam Acab just trying to chill and fill up the white space. I'd call it far from artistry but when I paint I know what it is to be an artist.

So, if I am almost never that thrilled about work I think that is almost a normal thing. The problem is on my time off what am I doing? I can get into these modes where everything is a chore. Playing the guitar is a chore. Reading Hegel is a chore. Doing anything feels like a chore. It's a horrible feeling. The guitar should be liberating! My days off should be more than just rest to work again. I walked my dog today. That was probably the coolest thing I did apart from meet a really cool person (barber).

Part of being an alcoholic is that I am naturally very self-centered and self-absorbed. You can easily see this in my writings even today. In order to be the perfect man, The Wise Man, the satisfied man I must be perfectly self-conscious. Maybe that is something that I struggle with but I think I have beaten humility into myself enough but people can be too hard on themselves as well. It really is a tricky thing to be Perfectly Self-Conscious. It is almost unfathomable to be perfectly satisfied or perfectly moral. I am still processing if I even want to be perfectly satisfied.

I want to be recognized but I don't want to risk my life.

PuertoRican   United States. Sep 12 2023 05:09. Posts 13016

Make some AI friends.

Rekrul is a newb 

RiKD    United States. Sep 13 2023 04:22. Posts 8404

  On September 12 2023 04:09 PuertoRican wrote:
+ Show Spoiler +

Make some AI friends.

That movie looks terrible.

 Last edit: 13/09/2023 04:23

dnagardi   Hungary. Sep 13 2023 17:10. Posts 1776

why did you go to Argentina and what did you do there?

RiKD    United States. Sep 13 2023 19:30. Posts 8404

I moved to Argentina because it looked amazing and I was unhappy where I was living. I played poker there and lived The Good Life. It's funny that I naturally lived The Good Life without reading any Aristotle, Nietszche, etc. in my twenties and I try so hard to get back to some semblance of that life but it may be impossible at this point. Which is ok. I am learning to be more satisfied with what I have and the reality of potentialities in the future. The reality is it's hard to find something like poker that could provide a high income and provide so much freedom. My virtuosities don't necessarily lend themselves to finding something similar in the future and I am mostly tired from work all the time.

Sleepy311   Vietnam. Sep 14 2023 01:17. Posts 154

You were slightly more Technical than Tillerman imo.

Go lift with the hairdresser, could always find another barber if you had to. If you're always looking for the Other start taking steps towards it Broski.

RiKD    United States. Sep 14 2023 01:53. Posts 8404

I don't understand. I was slightly more technical than tillerman? What does that mean?

I would lift with the hairdresser but I was a dumbass and did not tell her I didn't have facebook. She did not say to call her she said to add her on facebook. My plan is to just get another haircut by her when I need it and tell her I don't have facebook. She has a boyfriend which is fine. I could befriend him as well who knows. My plan is not to lie in the wings waiting for them to break up but just be friends. I am an adult I can have female friends. I have been going out more in search of The Other. Nothing has really materialized yet. I am getting good human connection in general though so it's easier not to force anything.

Sleepy311   Vietnam. Sep 14 2023 13:47. Posts 154

You were a slightly more technical player than Tillerman at WC3, but slightly less technical than 1st~Chemy

I would download an app like Whatsapp or Line when you ask her number so you don't sound like a total boomer. She could be bullshitting about her bf if she's asking you to lift with her. Maybe she has other friends too that you could potentially meet. Either way glad to see you doing well bruv.

RiKD    United States. Sep 14 2023 22:02. Posts 8404

I still don't know what technical means or how you would know if I was technical or not.

I don't need to ask her number. I already have her number but she said to friend her on facebook. I don't have facebook and I am not going to get it just because she has it. She could be bullshitting about boyfriend. I don't like deception so that would be a negative for me.

Sleepy311   Vietnam. Sep 15 2023 16:45. Posts 154

Are you going to let her outbench you at the gym to help increase her self confidence or nah?

RiKD    United States. Sep 16 2023 01:57. Posts 8404

There is no chance I would do that.

RiKD    United States. Sep 16 2023 06:13. Posts 8404

Paris, Texas is a great film.

RiKD    United States. Sep 17 2023 05:01. Posts 8404

Time to share and that is what I am doing sharing. Many times I am sharing too much but it is a share nonetheless. A share like in an AA meeting except there is no topic. More of a stream of concsiousness reflection.

Work has been difficult. I think that is one that has been with me for a while. I don't even know if it is my fault. I could take extreme ownership but what is possible? It's bigger than me. It's the buyers. It's the distribution centers. It's the regional operations managers and above. There is a lot of nepotism in the company.

You can try the best you can,
You can try the best you can,
The best you can is good enough.

I've built up some money that I can weather some months but the problem is health insurance. I don't know if I could get decent health insurance and this drives me mad.

It looks like if I quit my job I qualify for special enrollment period for Marketplace Health Insurance. Hmmmm.

I've got some things to think about...

CurbStomp2   Finland. Sep 18 2023 06:59. Posts 261

starfield is aight. also don't fuck some antifa tier barber.

CurbStomp2   Finland. Sep 18 2023 07:36. Posts 261

PuertoRican   United States. Sep 18 2023 15:31. Posts 13016

So... did you smash yet or nah?

We're all waiting for an update on you and the gym rat.

Rekrul is a newb 

RiKD    United States. Sep 18 2023 18:02. Posts 8404

  On September 18 2023 05:59 CurbStomp2 wrote:
starfield is aight. also don't fuck some antifa tier barber.

Should I get Starfield?

I would doubt she is antifa but more likely to be antifa than your average barber I suppose. I met all the leftists in the area at a bbq one time. She wasn't there. There were some antifa level people at that party but it was mostly Democratic Socialist of America there.

RiKD    United States. Sep 18 2023 18:09. Posts 8404

  On September 18 2023 06:36 CurbStomp2 wrote:
+ Show Spoiler +

This is the culture you strive for in Finland?


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