It's the new year

I was just moved to a different project. I've known for months that Stadia was closing down, it wasn't an issue to be transferred to something else. New work is chill, doing something with Riot and will be starting something with Nintendo simultaneously next week, still from home.

Still banging it out like a teenager with my girl. Don't have any special stories other than something that hasn't happened to me before: she gave me a blowjob and after I came in her mouth I was still rock hard for the next couple minutes and she noticed it. She said, "what is going on down there? you want more eh?" and did it again immediately. In the past with her, double orgasms have been common as a mix between intercourse/oral, but oral twice in a row is a new thing. Couldn't help but remember Mortensen's stupidity about covid vaccines and erection problems lol. Those are the kind of "problems" you want to have

We also had a talk about doing a threesome with a friend of hers, which is something I've never done. She said she wanted to introduce me to them and use my "universal appeal" and see if her friends would want to do it without having to ask them for their services (since they're also providers). If it turns out they don't, she said she was willing to pay another girl. It's a cool bucket list type of thing but I'm not in a rush to do it.

It wouldn't matter if I was unemployed, as long as I wouldn't be dependent on her for money (she would do it but I wouldn't want that). She used to be as well, and it's not something she judges others for.

Good news is good.

I've had a threesome but obviously would much rather have a chill job from home and regular good sex with a girlfriend. I would put the chances of you having a threesome at some point (without any payment) at so close to 100% it may as well be 100% so A+ brag post.

Does it bring me pain with what I lack or does my fellow Earth compatriot's wins bring me joy?

It's both. I must confess.

Everything in its right place.

Yesterday, I woke up sucking on a lemon.

That is what gym and connection will do to a man.

Tomorrow, on paper may suck but I have the tools to handle the present I have the tools to handle tomorrow. Marcus Aurelius said something like that.

"I am miserable."

"I feel miserable."

"I choose to feel miserable."

Is this true?

I am great.

I feel great.

I choose to feel great.

Everything in its right place. How long will it last? Am I delusional. Are things fine or are they great? Is everything in its right place?

Probably not everything is in its right place. That's ok.

I read a tweet today that if you try and improve by 1% each day that is a 4,000% improvement over a year. The Burnout Society.

Sometimes it is nice to just sit and contemplate. There are no numbers associated with that. Quiet, still, deep, long, contemplation.

There are other things to get just about wild over. 2.5 lb increase for the upper body movements and 5 lb increase for the lower body. 40 min. of giving it hell. Getting after it. I read today that physical exercise can be stronger than any depression or anxiety pills. I feel great. It something I should never forget. I'm putting it in writing.

Ok, it's probably about time to read and go to sleep. 2 of the most important things to me in life.

If you ate 1% more than the day before every day for your entire life you'd be bigger than the universe by about age 60. Maybe someone should tweet that.

hahaha

I am feeling pretty beta today. I was convinced to drive an hour both ways to watch the new Avatar at a special theatre. That's more than 5 hours of my life I can never get back. Part of me wanted to feel normal or just engage in normie behavior but there was 0 chance of me liking that movie. I think maybe the only thing that can save the day is crushing a workout.

On January 21 2023 01:32 Loco wrote: I was just moved to a different project. I've known for months that Stadia was closing down, it wasn't an issue to be transferred to something else. New work is chill, doing something with Riot and will be starting something with Nintendo simultaneously next week, still from home. Still banging it out like a teenager with my girl. Don't have any special stories other than something that hasn't happened to me before: she gave me a blowjob and after I came in her mouth I was still rock hard for the next couple minutes and she noticed it. She said, "what is going on down there? you want more eh?" and did it again immediately. In the past with her, double orgasms have been common as a mix between intercourse/oral, but oral twice in a row is a new thing. Couldn't help but remember Mortensen's stupidity about covid vaccines and erection problems lol. Those are the kind of "problems" you want to have We also had a talk about doing a threesome with a friend of hers, which is something I've never done. She said she wanted to introduce me to them and use my "universal appeal" and see if her friends would want to do it without having to ask them for their services (since they're also providers). If it turns out they don't, she said she was willing to pay another girl. It's a cool bucket list type of thing but I'm not in a rush to do it. It wouldn't matter if I was unemployed, as long as I wouldn't be dependent on her for money (she would do it but I wouldn't want that). She used to be as well, and it's not something she judges others for.

nah, they're just delusional fucktards

starving fuckers in Africa would way rather have a box of KD than the popes blessing

i feel kinda bad because i work at this place and we have a pretty young intern and I'd just love to throw a fuck into her. There is another one who must be barely 18 and I would never touch her because of the daughter vibes. I'm really hoping the hot one is at least 22 or something. I'm turning 35 soon.

Nice how u gonna enjoy ur bday? A nice massage?

im going to drink and watch youtube probably

nice cheers

On January 27 2023 19:12 CurbStomp2 wrote: i feel kinda bad because i work at this place and we have a pretty young intern and I'd just love to throw a fuck into her. There is another one who must be barely 18 and I would never touch her because of the daughter vibes. I'm really hoping the hot one is at least 22 or something. I'm turning 35 soon.

24 is probably a better starting number but maybe less depending on drinking age. I mean basically they need to be mature and know how to drink, etc. I don't know from my experience it is the sort of thing that just works out or it's not really an option. I have a buddy who was going through late 30s that seemed to always have a date or relationship with mid-20 somethings. It's what he liked and it just worked out that way. Going for teenagers at work is just terribad though dude.

On January 28 2023 16:18 CurbStomp2 wrote: im going to drink and watch youtube probably

lol. I can't remember if you ever hit a bottom where you thought you had no other options but to put down the bottle or die? I vaguely remember you trying AA and not liking it. I can't blame you there. There was a time for me where drinking about 40 units of alcohol and watching YouTube was the pinnacle of life for me. Sad really. I feel for you brother if you are even a legitimate poster. The sadder thing is the only thing I do different now is I have a worse job, find the pump a few times a week, and read Byung-Chul Han instead of YouTube. On some level it works. It works better than having no job, drinking more than 40 units of alcohol, and crying on the couch because the effect is over and ruined. I was so angry that I hurled the bottle of Hennessey across the room and even angrier that I only had 1 fucking bottle of Rose' left to drink. Lying to myself because my liquor's top shelf. There was no more lying to myself in that moment at least.

On January 29 2023 04:28 RiKD wrote: Show nested quote + On January 28 2023 16:18 CurbStomp2 wrote: im going to drink and watch youtube probably lol. I can't remember if you ever hit a bottom where you thought you had no other options but to put down the bottle or die? I vaguely remember you trying AA and not liking it. I can't blame you there. There was a time for me where drinking about 40 units of alcohol and watching YouTube was the pinnacle of life for me. Sad really. I feel for you brother if you are even a legitimate poster. The sadder thing is the only thing I do different now is I have a worse job, find the pump a few times a week, and read Byung-Chul Han instead of YouTube. On some level it works. It works better than having no job, drinking more than 40 units of alcohol, and crying on the couch because the effect is over and ruined. I was so angry that I hurled the bottle of Hennessey across the room and even angrier that I only had 1 fucking bottle of Rose' left to drink. Lying to myself because my liquor's top shelf. There was no more lying to myself in that moment at least.

Well I drink on weekends. On weekdays I have shit to do. I was 4 months without alcohol but it gets boring as fuck.

hmmmmmmmmmmmm

if you can truly moderate timing and quantity you are probably good (for now).

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I was on lunch break today dozing off into contemplation. It was cold, gray, rainy. I realized I don't think I complain as much on here as I used to. About money, or status, or whatever. I don't have thoughts of suicide but do I wish I was never born? Oh yeah, there was an autistic kid wailing for a while in the store and other things too. I realized my birthday was coming up. There is a song by Fontaine D.C. that says to "tell your mother that you love her." I do love my mother. I genuinely tell my mother that I love her but given all of this I am not sure if I wish I were never born. I've been listening to a lot of songs but things have been sticking out. "I want something true, I want something real" - "Wish" by NIN. "Baby we were born to die" - "Born to Die" by Lana Del Rey among many others. I'm doing better but I am not sure if I would rather never been born. I probably need a peak season of Love to be in a place where I would be sure that I was joyful that I was born. Then, a peak season of breakup to wish that I was never born. I think I still feel strongly that suicide is not the answer. Just because I would rather have not been born does not mean I should kill myself. I would have to get to a really lonely, dark place for that to happen I would think. It is different to never having been born because I was born. I am here. Sartre would say I am here. I am free. I am free to be my authentic self. Heidegger would say something like we were thrown into this existence but go walk in a graveyard if you want to start thinking about authenticity. Of course, I want to "be myself", whatever that mean. It's a project. A project that does include constraints and conditioning. Probably, much of which I am not even aware of.

i don't know about the quantity. I usually pass out after 16-20 0,33l beers. if i do that on friday and saturday im betting a doctor would say it's a problem. still it's a very common thing here to be a weekend drunk and it's a bad idea to talk about it to healthcare professionals.

Drinking 16-20 units of alcohol on Friday and Saturday night is not all that interesting. A true alcoholic would take that as a challenge or at least create some self-fulfilling prophecy that leads to a horrible bottom.

This website feels like the twilight zone. What like 10 posters are left who all post rather sporadically? It's bizarre.

yall been watching the last of us? holy shit the ep3 makes me wanna be a fag.