So, I just watched "Carmina Burana" to ballet and it was fucking brilliant. Between the Lebanese coffee and the show I am like pumped up. Oh man, "O Fortuna" is like overwhelming and there was a piece after the fall where there is a learned balance between the pitfalls of earthly pleasures and awareness that was so blissful. I had tears steaming down my face. The costumes were incredible as well as the lighting. You can't ignore the beauty and grace in the dancers. Such remarkable symmetry. But what do I want? I want to fuck a bad bitch like Kleio Valentine (NSFW).
Tinder and Snapchat is the new Liquidpoker and r/gonewild for me. It's just different things substituted. I smell some pussy and I am planning on which chelsea boots to buy, which leather jacket to buy, my next tattoo while forgetting I still live at home with my parents and have dental bills and yada yada yada. I have a date with a girl that we'll find out what she is actually going to look like when she shows up. She is pretty cool though so I figure we'll give it a shot. I have to get some more/(better) pics up on tinder. I would like a nice influx of matches always coming in. I don't want to get tinder plus until I have a better profile and some more experience under my belt. You see this? All the plans and fantasies. I'm a fucking maniac. I really should sit and breathe more. So, many people fucking say that. I guess I am a little restless at the moment. I want so bad to win at life and I have too many plans and fantasies and I don't even know what my priorities are. I know my first priority is I really can't drink alcohol or do drugs. Shit is fucked if I do. I think renunciation of the material is such a tricky one. It is like people in overeaters anonymous. A little different because I absolutely need to eat to survive but do I really need to go to the lengths of buddhist monk and completely abstain from the material? The other end is broke me in dope outfits.
So, I RSVP'd to my friend's wedding and tried on my suit. It's tight! Tight as in too tight and barely fits. So, I think it is time to burn some fat. I am not quite where I would like to be in the muscle aspect but I think it is more important to burn fat at this point. That means less food and more cardio.
Some topics in here for sure. I just needed to get some stuff out of my brain. What do I really want? AA tells me peace and serenity. I think that is about right.