*sigh* friend zone? =[

sounds like this girl cant stick to one guy anyways
so either you get the official bf tag and she cheats on you
or she cheats on her bf with you, w/e

heres a thought
how would you feel if you were the whole bf/together shit, and she goes on to spend a whole bunch of time with some other guy? (ie. you in your current situation/the 3rd guy)

By the way you make it sound, it seems like you may not be the girl for you. If you really think that you might not fully enjoy the relationship once you are together (obviously there's no way to test this), then should strongly reconsider everything. Either way, you should probably make a decision soon, as my experiences in these have led to believe that waiting 3+ months is definitely -EV.

Be a fucking man. Bottle up those retarded feelings, stop hanging out with her all the time and at least pretend to have a life/not calling her all the time etc and go fuck something else. Of-fucking-course she makes you happy, man she has boobies and we're programed to be happy when people with boobies are nice to us. That does, however, not mean that you'll be allowed to play with them. At least not if you keep doing the same thing (obviously, if she was attracted to you being you she'd found way to jump you by now, so guess what, you'll need to change or give up that idea).

Also, though break, we've all been through them.

hmm pretty shitty situation to be in - I can relate pretty well to your story actually.

Sounds like you're getting too emotionally invested in this. I guess you should make a move seeing as you haven't really made a real one yet. If she brushes you off or acts surprised I suggest you DO NOT get all serious and emotional about it. Just brush it off as well in a joking matter and then take some time to re-evaluate. She might change her mind about it or you could give it another shot in a couple of days. Just keep it light and easy. If you get all deep and emotional about it chances are if she's the kind of girl you make her sound like any chance you remotely had will vanish and you'll scare her off.

If it doesn't work out then just give it up move on otherwise it can mess you up real bad. Hope this means something to you. GL GL

i feel sorry for you and i was this guy years ago till i studied game

super standard case of one-itis

Ummmm how can't u understand this, I only read half of it and it makes perfect sense.

First off, you should have known from this line
(even told me the life story about every guy she had ever slept with and how they were apparently all assholes)

that she's bad relationship material. If all her relationships end up poorly there's a reason for it and it's on her side.


So, I decide I want to make it "official" during finals week
Terrible idea. What do you expect to gain from this? You already know she is more attracted to guys who ignore her. Had you even had sex yet? Relationship exclusivity is a one sided street or even worse. If you're fucking the chick and she loves you she's not going to fuck any other dudes unless she's a real nut case. And if you're in a relationship and she doesn't love you, she will fuck other dudes. Promising fidelity is calling it quits and she likes the game and the chase. She likes the elusive nature of guys and ur walking into a bear trap.



So during break I try and call/text her and she goes back to not replying to me.
Ofc, I know many girls who aren't even bad girls like this who will do this. When they're away from you there is no benefit in continuing contact. Here they can test you. U like every other guy feel the sting and your attraction for her heightens the second you feel that you might lose her. This is like not having the fortitude to push all with junk hands to steal the blinds. Ironically, these girls are actually the easiest to get because they're so simple and act so emotional.


awkward texting convo a few days before we get back to school and that's it.
This is your sign to lay off. She's gonna be expecting you want to see her right when you get back. Give her the feeling that she gave you. It's what drives her. Give her the gift of missing you. She will naturally assume you're with some other girl and that's why you're not calling and she'll feel that sting. Also, after this awkward texting convo, you need to recover your status and that cannot be done by talking your way out of it or wanting to see her. Both show neediness and the fact that you need to make up for something lacking. You said that SHE was the one chasing you, wanting to hang out et cetera. That's like flopping quads in position and some short stack betting into you. Taking back the lead is stupid, let her chase you.... just be sure to escalate physically and have sex with her as soon as possible because she obviously (when she's chasing u like that) is ready/wants it. If you don't fuck her (and she wont explicitly state "let's go fuck" bc she doesn't want to feel like a slut) she'll assume you're not a man. That you wussed out or are bi-curious or some shit and have some inner problems. Maybe fear of rejection problems, which is what you obviously have. No biggie, most guys your age have that (i'm assuming ur younger than 25)



and I see that she is now in a relationship. I also see that she befriended this new bf of hers the day after christmas. So then I'm kind of pissed and actually kind of sad, because I really want to be with this girl and now it's all fucked up. I decide that we can still be friends or something and I'll get over her eventually, so at least I got a good friend out of it.


LoL, so wrong on so many levels. But do you see that sting, remember what you felt. All of the sudden you "lose her" bc she changes her FB status and you get all emotional. First off, you never had her, you never locked her down even though she gave you so many chances where you could have taken her under your arm and led her to your room to show her whatever (ie not explicitly state sex, you also need to make her not feel like a slut) when you got to her room, things would have developed naturally.

If you have these emotions for her, the best thing to do is not see her for a bit and meet new girls, not make her your friend lol. This is self-torture which you kinda like because of your low self esteem (don't worry, everyone of your age/sexual experience has low self esteem within the sexual realm of things)

"on and off, mostly on" with for the last 3 years
see, i told you. Bad relationship material. One and off relationships because she needs to feel that loss. She needs the drama and when he starts getting too close she breaks up, he's sick of her so he's like "whatever" and then she wants him back (simplified ;p)


She asks me to go everywhere with her and hang out all the time, and is not only answering all of my messages but even calling me and shit now.

This is a good sign... it shows that she doesn't look at you as a "friend" or the friend zone that you like. She sees you as a potential sex partner but she's already filled that role for now. When the relationship is in the off mode again (AND TRUST ME IT WILL BE IN TWO MONTHS TOPS) as long as you didn't do stupid stuff like send her needy SMS messages guess who she will be calling? This is your cue to lay low and meet some other chicks. If you're walking on campus with a hot girl under your arms smiling at you and she sees that BOY WILL SHE GET JEALOUS. And she will feel those butterflies that you did the instances you felt that you had "lost her". You need to work on getting more girls interested in you. Just go out and meet new girls every day is the best advice and be very flirty/sexual and physical with them.


I really have no idea if she likes me or not,

you are a boy and not a take-charge man. She gave you enough signals. She wasn't playing with you. I feel that she's probably annoyed as hell by you because you never took charge "eh.... men! Such idiots" Hopefully you can understand my post and now will change. (it's taking me a while to write lol) You may not have kill all of her attraction to you so the best thing is to lay low and find out when/if she calls.

Going up and telling her you love her, will just show that you're not emotionally ready for a relationship yet and will confirm in her mind that she misjudged you, it will likely ruin your chances when she does go in the Off mode of her relationship again. Showing that you're unaffected by the change and that you're happy without her because you're a happy guy who has more going for him then just some chick will make her attracted. Think of this scenario

You bump into her and have a little hottie under your arm and you say

Hey hottie, I gotta introduce you to one of my best friends. This girl knows me inside out and look she's such a cutie (wink at her and pinch her cheeks) to me... she'll always be "the one that got away"

With that line, you're showing that you like her but that you are no longer attainable... and we all know this girl wants what she can't get.... and that she wants drama. You will be giving her the ultimate in challenge and emotions. You will rock this girl's world

Wow man this sounds like a crappy spot, seems super complicated and you yourself seem to have mixed/unsure feeling about this girl. I would personally say fuck it, but I'm incredibly lazy

You could try keeping it real, but we all know that can go horribly wrong lol

However, even if you just play it straight and it turns out bad, I mean that is more time for you to be with the other 20k girls on campus, no need to waste time in the twilight zone with this girl unless you feel that you really like her for sure you know?

Anyway, I feel bad that you are in such a situation, but that game the other night was fun

I can come donate some more money in a few weeks after I slave away at microstakes for awhile, hopefully I will lose it to you next time and you will feel better

i'd stop hanging out with her cause she obviously doesn't know what she wants if she's going on and off with her ex-bf, then constantly flirting with you.
and if you really wanna get things off your chest, just tell her straight up you dont want her to be with her ex anymore, and tell her to stop playing dumb games with you.

"I feel like I should just get it off my chest and tell her exactly how I feel, and then just let her shut me down so I can be 100% certain that there is no chance...and who knows, maybe things could end up going my way anyway."

^^^^^ This. Where you are at now sucks and is just getting in the way of your life. You need to front up to her and get it over one way or the other.

And your friends are probably right but trying to tell you nicely:

"A few of my friends thinks that she justs likes the attention and isn't right for me...." Let me guess - they're the friends that know you best?

ummm, trust me, don't listen to exhilarate, no offense pal

she knows exactly what she wants, I told u, and it's the opposite of possessiveness. In fact, no girl wants possessiveness but these sort of girls especially so.

he should just not make a whole deal about the relationship thingy and take control about the whole thing so that she would want him, feels like he's kinda acting like floof

On January 29 2009 02:06 gawdawaful wrote: sounds like this girl cant stick to one guy anyways so either you get the official bf tag and she cheats on you or she cheats on her bf with you, w/e heres a thought how would you feel if you were the whole bf/together shit, and she goes on to spend a whole bunch of time with some other guy? (ie. you in your current situation/the 3rd guy)

this, plus there is a lot of better material out there from what I read

wow steal city nailed this

Agree with fayth become the "alpha" make her chase. Imo and this doesn't sound like a girl I want a relationship with but if you really want it act like you don't give a shit and she'll come running. She's so off and on with you because she knows you're always there so make her feel like you're not always there