Music for the soul

I've been finding my leaks in poker. So many leaks if I plug them I can make some money. I won a few hundred playing MTT again but damn always getting crush in the end no luck. Can't get that W but getting close top 20 n FTs though

tired from the Sunday grind, what to do today so I don't feel bored but can't play poker cause I aint fresh. ill probably head for a walk somewhere since I got a bit of money to spend and refresh up for later tonight or tomorrow I don't know but def don't feel like playing poker right now.

but I can feel it, u can still make a shit tonne in poker if u play like a GTO beast.

I am startin to enjoy poker again cuz I am getting better, its a life mission to win in poker lots again, die doing.

"when you need nothing, you get everything" don't know who said this but I am not in a rush to win in poker anymore like before. rushing to win is so -ev, its a life journey to win lots again so ill take my time n actually have BRM this time n not degen in higher stakes game when I can win at a nice clip in the low stakes. get my game good before I start taking shots again and when fresh. thats my downfall play when tired then spew a bit. I aint Ryan I can't grind as hard as him but I wish I could.

I miss the beach sigh oh well the river will have to do today. need a good break after winnings lots for me n then lost back lots lol. sigh this is what happens when I start playing tired, poker isn't the biggest leak I have. its the playing tired is the biggest leak. when I am not tired I can hang with anyone but when im tired im a whale I have my S game n my F game. im not consistent enough gotta fix this leak. same thing different day. take some time off in poker then crush when im fresh n spew it back when I get tired. sigh lol well at least metals are doing good so I don't feel bad too bad losing a tonne. lost 99% of my BR but not my life roll. ill deposit a few hundred again when I am fresh again. I havent felt so alive in awhile so it refreshing to actually feel alive playing games where it hurts a little when u lose.


life isn't too bad cuz I feel good even losing a tonne but shitty why can't I just run good n blink a 6 figure score again lol.
iono I need to relax n not rush it in poker like in the past where I was a bankroll nit but now im shot taking like no tomorrow.
oh well can't complain I aint struggling n grateful for what I have.

KQQhanksbai

how do u guys grind work? I want a good job but good luck getting that, what I would be good at is like a hedge fund but that is too stressful so ill just live my modest n content life. buy metals guys I know some good stocks to get too but that is gambling so I dont want to risk u guys losing money but metals is guarantee W,

iono but I dont value money as much as I did when I was younger. I use to love hoarding money when I was younger but now I enjoy spending my money. still have a lot per se or little relatively speaking. im like a neilly in his younger age shot taking a lot but he has wise up n takes his BRM seriously but its okay I guess cuz I have a life roll I don't touch, its my retirement fund. life a roller coaster the last few days winning heaps then losing heaps argggg. but I guess I can't complain cuz metals is rocketing . anyways enough ranting.

KQQhanksbai

not done ranting
things to remember to be a better player gotta do it not just say it
no ego poker
relax its a journey not a sprint
20$ an hour consistency is good hourly, dont expect early day hourly anymore
learn to give up pots
don't play too when tired
Rest Rest Rest
Enjoy Enjoy Enjoy the journey

KQQhanksbai

I thought I could quit gambling but its never gonna happen. poker is in my blood

Hedge fund is a pipe dream. Poker probably is too but grinding out an hourly and/or hitting a big score is possible. If you are going to take it seriously you need to grind GTO Wizard or whatever the it software is at the very least.

yea you are right, its not that I can't win, I do win when im fresh and eager to play but lose when I can't stop playing. hedge fund is a pipe dream I dont want that stress or responsibility.

today was an okay day went to eat at the mall got a nice meal n drink with a buddy but other than that it was all poker. played 11$, 22$ n some free rolls. GG no luck. I need a few days off before I get back on the grind but I will get back on the grind just thinking if I want to stick to cash or try mtt again. im up like 1k on MTT last month but down 600 in cash cuz I was a donkey n wasn't fresh. I probably played like 40-50 hours of mtt last month only n probably 25 hours of cash. I didn't play a lot cuz I wasn't 100% but now im giving it my 110%. die playing poker.

im also getting a new computer soon, gonna cash out some investments and buy one when I see a good deal at Best Buy or something. cuz I can only 1 table on my current comp cuz of some stupid stuff. so it will be a good investment to buy a new computer.

anyways goodnight

a little history life was good from 18-24 then mental health kick in and wasn't feeling good but now im all mentally healthy again wise. I will get good in poker again. physically not so good but its passable. I dont know im sitting right now and wondering what to do in life if I don't get good at poker? I have no passion n interest other than being the best I can be in poker. if I didn't have mental health problems I would be rich as f but there is no if, cuz shit happens but ill make the best of what I have. im not good at coding like some lpers or have the bankroll to trade so best option is to grind out poker while I can. Im working on my discipline, need to fix this up to be even better at life n poker. im starting to feel alive again n life isn't so mundane. I survive a lot of crap n still doing well is a testimony of my resilience where a lot of people would fold, I call n took the battle head on. so life is okay now not the best in some areas but best in other areas so its okay. money is important n a priority but its not my biggest priority, I am grateful I still have okay health n lots of other non money things like friends, good family etc. I am and feel bless n lucky to be where I am today. do I have everything? na but I have a lot of things. as for poker, goal is to win 20$ an hour now instead of what I use to make, the good times. I tried to work in a vape store and uber for a delivery but shit wasn't worth it. time to work as hard as possible in poker n MAKE IT again. there is no what if I dont succeed, there is only success on my mind. 20$ an hour isn't that hard right? iono im gonna die playing poker so lets go.
last but and the very most I am grateful for God who helps fight my battles even when I can't see it but I can feel it. thankzzzz GOD for ur grace and mercy much love

peaceKQQthanks