I haven't really blogged about serious things in a while but I would like to make a post today. Not that this post is particularly serious.
I started my internship in Jacksonville, FL in Risk Management. After trying my hand in live poker during the aftermath of what was left after black friday I decided to go back to school. Although I made much more money playing Live than I did online (not that my live earnings are that much either), it was too difficult to continue to play poker and even more importantly, impossible to grow as a human being.
Poker was a bean stalk that reached the heavens. You start at the ground and play for pennies. But you climb and climb, higher and higher. I saved all my money in order to move up stakes. All in order to climb this bean stalk. This illusion of one day playing 5/10+ making 400+/hr. I'm happy for those who have. I'm sure it takes an immense amount of time and hard mental work in order to reach such a level of mastery. But for me, I don't think it's in me to reach such stakes.
I always felt somewhat guilty but even more angry when I would win money from old senile seniors, and ex-veterans. Angry that they suffer. That they throw all their money away. But I suppose that's the extent of my goodwill because I sure as hell am not going to give any of it back. To win is to be superior (most likely genetically and independent of freewill). And to lose is to be inferior (most likely genetically and independent of free will). Where is the fun in that statement? Where is the ego? Do you ever feel superior when you kick a child's ass? I suppose it's easy to rationalize and the more complex the rationalization the further the issue is, and the easier you're able to do somewhat morally dubious things.
Anyway this is not a message against poker. It's not my intention to bash or relegate poker.
Stated earlier, I started my internship for the summer. I make a modest amount at $15/hr in a rather large firm. But I plan to spend all my money. I've already signed up for MMA focusing on the grappling/wrestling aspect (I don't really watch MMA or know that many terms) as well as French classes.
Although sometimes work sucks and the hours are long, I'm surrounded by brilliant, motivated people. But best of all, every hour I put in provides a service that 99% of America uses (if you use a debit/credit card, or have a bank, or have an account).
I don't know when Capitalism got such a bad rap. I'm sure someone leftish, used it inaccurately yet purposefully in order to stir a mob. Capitalism is a beautiful thing. For me to make a single dollar, I have to provide so much random value to the firm and it's thousands of clients. I think ppl hate corporate-government corruption. Promised jobs, laws against new and good products. Protecting corn, oil, and pharmaceuticals from having to continue to stay innovative and efficient. They want to become monopolies. Which of course is the opposite of free markets. And against the cornerstone of Capitalism.
Something I wanted to say earlier. My greatest rationalization. I'm sure we all think this.
I didn't invent the game. I just play it.
My boss said that, with a sad face when I asked him about his Romney sticker.
Hey I'll be coming to LA later this month. Not sure yet for how long. Long story short, my gf made travel plans with her mother through some travel agency, but basically they reneged on their services/packages.
WHAT A FUCKING JOKE. Anyway
Basically we'll be going to LA with no plan. Was hoping you guys could recommend some things to do nearby LA.
Her parents are pretty conservative, so i think they will enjoy pretty damn touristy things.
the situation im about to talk about is extremely trite and silly.
i was playing dota2, i first picked QoP and went mid. 2nd pick invoker came mid and wanted mid. i already bought my items etc, i usually like to not respond, since all it does is escalate the situation.
i farmed bottle in the first 2 min, standard and he took my bottle of courrier and jacked it.
i asked for it back for about 5 min, before leaving. i never got upset during the game or yelled or capslock etc, but i felt really angry inside.
like EXTREMELY angry.
i tried to logically talk to myself that it was just a game, and that a single game of dota2 has absolutely no meaning/significance etc.
took me like a good 5 minutes to logically regain my cool
but how do i forgo that initial response of anger?
Thought Gosling is more insightful than it I thought and might have a point. But at the same time it comes off as very risky to say these kind of things especially publicly.
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