King Breakeven

I rarely update because I'd rather play and study than seek attention on here I guess. Anyway, I dicked around on SnGs in the beginning of the month. Just too boring for me so I went back to lolcashgames. They are super easy. I'm currently at NL25, will move to NL50 at $1000. I'm getting pretty close to that. Well until right now at least. I'm -5bi under expectation today. I was planning on blogging today anyway, just so turns out I run like complete ass in all-ins today so I get to make this a whine blog post, yay!

Actually I'll try not to whine too much. It just sucks losing 4.5 buyins when I should have won a buy-in. But that's poker. I wish the All-in EV thing didn't exist. It sort of makes things worse for me.

I would just like to give a shout out to Fixed Limit for making me awesome at table selection. That game is dying so much you have to table select your balls off in order to get a decent profit, and I've brought those skills to my NL game. I'm so used to seeing a juicy table and already be on it, but in NL there's just so many juicy tables I'm never on the same one! It's great. So thanks LHE for that.

I'm trying to play a solid style at NL right now. I mean, what else should you do at NL25? There's some serious people just dumping money off, unfortunately I can't always be on the end to grab it oh well. I hope to be at NL50 in August and NL100 by the end of September.

I had a good redline until today when the Poker Gods decided that I shouldn't be able to hit any boards and everyone will call me. Here's my graph since my return and stats. Any input is appreciated:




Today really sucked :[ I caught myself tilting and screaming out random shit so I instastopped which is fine and dandy. I'd like to get to the point where losing money doesn't affect me at all. Hopefully that will come some day. I don't see it happening until I get to a stake where I think the money is good and I'm used to that stake. That will probably be NL200 at least I'd guess.

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Comments (6)

What do you do when you know you can't win? No matter what you do. That is what today has been like and the previous three days. Every time I rebuild. It beats me right back down. I have over 80k hands now between FL and NL and I'm a loser by a couple hundred dollars.

I just don't get it. Anyone else in this world who runs like me would have quit long ago but I don't. Is this a mistake? Do I run bad or am I just bad?

EDIT: I just officially quit poker and cashed out the remainder of my roll which was $783. My roll was $1600 5 days ago. Here's a life time graph of my hands from HEM:



GL Everyone.

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Comments (11)

I know I said I wouldn't make a blog post again until I was rolled for NL100. However, this time I feel that I could not resist. I realized today that I need this blog. I need people in the poker world to talk to. To sympathize with, to empathize with.

My last blog entry was back in February I believe. From that time I've been bouncing back and forth between NL25 and NL50, mostly playing NL50. While I have times I feel like I'm starting to have success, I have days like this that just crush my soul, bring out the worst qualities in me, and just down right make me depressed.

I know I can beat this game and when I'm at these tables I feel an edge over the competition. I don't even know what to write. I'm sure it's all been said before. I'm just sick of running in circles. I can't give up though.

A new pressure has been put on my shoulders. It's 95% certain I'll lose my job within the next 2-3 months. I have enough saved to live for 8-10 months but I'm really going to look to poker for some income while I job search. I've been playing more and studying more. I've really begun to feel like poker is what I would want to do for a living anyway. I have a passion for nothing but money. That was a problem I had when looking for a major in school.

But anyway on to today. I loaded $600 onto PS to take advantage of the 20% reload bonus. My intentions were to just hit the bonus and then withdraw the $600 like many people do. Well I am here today to tell you that over ~1300 hands I lost $618. I didn't stand a chance. I really need to do a 3 buy-in stop loss. I'll admit I tilted a little bit, although I did stay quite focused and slowed my game down and took extra time to think. I still should have made a stoploss.

Today I acted in ways I had not acted since I was a juvenile playing Starcraft. I was shouting at my computer, cussing. I even punched my wall. I took a break to get myself together. Had a long conversation with a girl I've been talking to and went for a drive to the ocean to just think and cool off.

Between my this job crisis, my grandpa being hospitalized, and this poker circle it's just been too much lately. I can't quit though. Anytime I've ever quit at anything in life success has been just around the corner. I try not to quit at anything any more as I know giving up was something I used to be bad at.

Anyway, if you read this I truly appreciate it. If not, it felt good just to get it in words and out there. I'm looking for some more poker friends so if you have MSN and would like to talk poker, life, or just anything feel free to add me. MSN: ez4utonv@hotmail.com

Oh, and here's todays graph:


I'm considering setting it as my desktop as motivation.

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Comments (5)

Yeah, that's right. NL25. Couple coolers and bad beats and I'm back down to NL25.

Bankroll: $725.

Will take shots at NL50 again at $1000. Not blogging again until I either:

A. Go Busto
B. Go Robusto (Make it NL100)

Cya.

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Comments (9)

Going into super nit mode until my bankroll recovers. Or maybe I'll stay in nit mode until I don't care about the money anymore and I decide that I want to learn how to play "real" poker.

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Comments (1)

Bleh. Well I shouldn't say life. Poker is not my life, and the way things look it may not even be a part of my life pretty soon. The downswing ensues. I moved to fixed limit (this is what I used to play predominantly). I realized I was about 4k VPP away from Platinum Star for this month so I figured I will grind my way to it through FL since I can get more hands in and it's higher rake.

Needless to say, my down swing followed me to FL and I lost 120 BBs there so far. It's kinda fucked up to run like shit for two weeks. Sick game. Perhaps I need to start sucking my bosses dick to get a promotion there, because I don't think professional poker is something I can really aspire to. I swear to god I run bad more than I run good. I had my first heater ever back in beginning of this month and I've been playing hardcore since October.

Anyway, whine blog over. Had fun at mardi gras last night and I'm going out downtown on Friday and then to Vegas next weekend. Gonna watch some FL videos on DC. Hopefully danzasmacks monotone voice doesn't put me to sleep so I can actually learn something.

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Comments (2)

Here's a graph of my entire month of February, as well as my stats from beginning of February, stats from last 12k hands, and position stats for both. All input is greatly appreciated. The downswing started around 12.5k hands ago.

February Graph


February MTD Stats


February MTD Position Stats


Last 12k Hands Stats


Last 12k Hands Position Stats


All input, help, advice, etc. is greatly appreciated.

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Comments (4)

I'll be at NL50 for the rest of my life. Or at least until Pokerstars it's time to stop donkey punching me. Minus 5 buyins in 622 hands. GG me.

Lost 3 buy ins in 300 hands. Took a break. Lost another 2 in 300 hands.

Why can't I run like god like everyone else (edit: besides edzwoo) here?

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Comments (5)

-8 buy ins. Yeah, eight. I'll post a graph later after I'm done crying.

I've never even had a 4 buy-in win session. On Sunday I had a -7buy in session and today -8. Why can't I win big but I can lose big?

Please no generic responses. I fucking bust my ass off for this game and I expect some results. I watch videos. I work full-time and still get 30-40k+ hands a month in.

Clearly I need to take a step back or something. Or study more. Or play more. I don't know what it is. Or maybe I need more down swings like this so I can just become immune to them. Who knows.

Anyone interested in swapping MSNs for hand discussions? Anyone NL50+ would be appreciated.

Month to date


Today


I guess I need a stoploss. We'll set it at 3 buy ins and go from there. Every time I hit 3 buy-ins loss I will:

1. Watch at least one video on DC
2. Go over 20 hands
3. Take 1 hour minimum break

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Comments (4)

Okay just got done with my session. Played about 2.5k hands. Why quit now? Well I just had a 3 buy-in heater where my hands ACTUALLY held up. If i don't quit now I'm sure I'll give it all back on 2 outters and the like. Here's the graph:




In other news: I am extremely bad manner. I keep asking for a chat ban but PokerStars won't do it. :[ I also went to the gym today and did a work out I used to do, just for shits and giggles. I nearly through up. GG.

Here's a couple hands I would like to share with you all, and before you ask, no it is not the same hand. These hands happened 5 hands apart from each other and to the same exact person.

Submitted by : RICHI8

PokerStars Game #25032793542: Holdem No Limit ($0.25/$0.50) - 2009/02/16 23:46:23 ET
Table Svea V 6-max Seat #2 is the button
Seat 1: Chow123 ($50 in chips)
Seat 2: ViciousVic55 ($55.50 in chips)
Seat 3: Hero ($50.25 in chips)
Seat 5: bigeasyman ($15 in chips)
Seat 6: nala314 ($63.65 in chips)
Hero: posts small blind $0.25
bigeasyman: posts big blind $0.50

Holecards(Odds)
Dealt to Hero
nala314: folds
Chow123: raises $1 to $1.50
ViciousVic55: folds
Hero: raises $5 to $6.50
bigeasyman: folds
Chow123: raises $10 to $16.50
Hero: calls $10

Flop(Odds) (Pot : $33.50)

   
Hero: checks
Chow123: bets $33.50 and is all-in
Hero: calls $33.50

Turn(Odds) (Pot : $100.50)

   

River (Pot : $100.50)

   

Showdown
Hero: shows (a pair of Kings)
Chow123: shows (a flush, Ace high)
Chow123 collected $98.50 from pot

Summary
Total pot $100.50 | Rake $2
Board  
Seat 1: Chow123 showed and won ($98.50) with a flush, Ace high
Seat 2: ViciousVic55 (button) folded before Flop (didnt bet)
Seat 3: Hero (small blind) showed and lost with a pair of Kings
Seat 5: bigeasyman (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 6: nala314 folded before Flop (didnt bet)

PokerStars Game #25032884298: Holdem No Limit ($0.25/$0.50) - 2009/02/16 23:50:15 ET
Table Svea V 6-max Seat #2 is the button
Seat 1: Chow123 ($99.80 in chips)
Seat 2: ViciousVic55 ($53.95 in chips)
Seat 3: Hero ($50 in chips)
Seat 4: lifes3ps ($10 in chips)
Seat 5: bigeasyman ($14.95 in chips)
Seat 6: nala314 ($63.60 in chips)
Hero: posts small blind $0.25
lifes3ps: posts big blind $0.50

Holecards(Odds)
Dealt to Hero
bigeasyman: folds
nala314: calls $0.50
Chow123: raises $1.50 to $2
ViciousVic55: folds
Hero: raises $4.50 to $6.50
lifes3ps: folds
nala314: folds
Chow123: calls $4.50

Flop(Odds) (Pot : $14.00)

   
Hero: bets $8.50
Chow123: calls $8.50

Turn(Odds) (Pot : $31.00)

   
Hero: bets $35 and is all-in
Chow123: calls $35

River (Pot : $101.00)

   

Showdown
Hero: shows (a pair of Kings)
Chow123: shows (a flush, Ace high)
Chow123 collected $98 from pot
Hero said, "...."
Hero said, "you gotta be kidding me"

Summary
Total pot $101 | Rake $3
Board  
Seat 1: Chow123 showed and won ($98) with a flush, Ace high
Seat 2: ViciousVic55 (button) folded before Flop (didnt bet)
Seat 3: Hero (small blind) showed and lost with a pair of Kings
Seat 4: lifes3ps (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 5: bigeasyman folded before Flop (didnt bet)
Seat 6: nala314 folded before Flop

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