#rungoodfagget

ill just map out my blog and ask for advice, but you can answer in paragraphs

-worried about health, poker makes me smoke too much coz of grinding tons daily
-stress doesnt help, imagine u guys who play 1k hands a day experiencing all the variance for a month in 3 days on a daily basis lol
-playing hours on end has sucked out the life out of me, e.g. less going out, socializing (which i love), gym etc
-i think im less sexually prolific now lol, srsly
-thinking of playing 6max, getting a coach, but internet sux a bit for voice chat, (is mikogo better than teamviewer, skype is choppy and vent kinda weird to use too, any other suggestions?)
-overall i think i should upgrade the quality of play, not the quantity, devote more attention but less time for poker
-im srsly thinking of playing 4 to 6 tabling 6max on stars, how many hands does it take at 100nl and 200nl to get like 3kvpps daily?

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god i love 50nl so much this year .... hoping for another rampage like last feb of 60bi then i move up i promise lol




br story: withdrew everything but 2400 jan 1. bought a car feb. bumped up roll to 7700 by end of feb and made another retarded withdrawal of 7k, left 700 for march then now i got almost 4k again, planning to redeposit the 7k back tomorrow and play 100nl and 200nl. i think i can say now i can beat 50nl and its time to move on up again to 100nl. now i no longer have any 50nl issues like last year
with an 11k roll, my goal is to get to 20k before my birthday by june and fly to vegas. wish me luck.

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im gonna pwwwwwwwwwwwwn 50nl sooo hard again lol

moving up when i reach 40bi for 100nl

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hope this keeps up, still getting a lot of bad breaks but mindset is so strong right now after relieving myself of that damn cashier habit of mine (thanks to that nifty stoploss script) i feel soooo rejuvinated and ready to grind grind grind and pwn all 50nl regs, making some solid plays, bluffs and calldowns and everything seems to be working fine. redline still needs work but its kinda hard to be consistently having a upward redline in FR without running good since ur up against 9 nits all the time who will get hands no matter what. so far after installing that script and playing in a lighter happier mood this is my graph:

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using it and loving it. now i only look at the cashier, and surprisingly the scripts vpp and stoploss window only AFTER a session, knowing that the results keep changing anyway and dont bother coz its really just a quick peek away, this helps me so much in the mindset department and less stressful checking the pstars cashier, ive wanted this for sooooo long already and after discovering the filter for min buyin and 50bb tables, i dont make it a point to megatable anymore, i can table select waaay better and avoid seeing hongzhong and the rest of those shortstacking idiots on most my tables. feel good and it shows coz i played really focused with no distractions/annoyances anymore. im pretty sure my winrate will shoot up to normal like before but the volume will dip, but fuck it, im not concerned with reaching sne or anythign and im also planning to take up stock trading so i have little time to do both. gl people. here's today's heater haha

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fantastic way to start the month, fucking variance filled sessions allday/nite

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ive tried playing a lot more hands this past week since ive been waaaay to lazy and unmotivated to grind pokers coz rng hates me and would like to see my tilt threshold so it seems, seriously, ive played far too long and seen bad swings per session but this whole month seems to be my worst ever considering i already moved down to 50nl and can beat games here pretty easily. but my upping the # of hands has so far been working out for me and will continue to do so and increase volume even more pretty soon, im looking at 10 to 12k hands a day and just fuck the results, so in a way this month has been some sort of "variance" training for me lol
here's today's first session :



this month was really gay in terms of practically everything; vpps , downswing, breakeven poker, my game adjusted to being tight again and it kinda sux, wish me luck in my fpp whoring , gl gl

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too mediocre to post graphs and shit. but believe me when i tell you it's i think my first legit winning session in like over a month( took i think around 10 days off not playing at all), but rb kinda saved my ass enough to be up 1k this month, confidence is really low atm, i KNOW im running like dogshit but whatever, ill bounce back soon enough and up the volume and winrate when i do, havent taken that yearly march getaway coz i dont have anybody to go with and my kids are staying with me so i think ill be taking a 4 day break someplace maybe at the same surfing island up north like last year, but in april or may, different friends are going to be with me this time so i dunno if theyll be bringing girls along so if i do see girls in swimsuits at least theyre gonna be from a different group circle

note:
well all this since going back to fuckign stars >< eurodonks are great but feels so gay playing them , something's wrong with me i think lol

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took a semi long ass break, bought a car, kinda getting buyers remorse coz i coulda just uploaded to stars and played 200nl for more money, not saying id kill it but definitely going to be profitable in terms of fpps and marginal winnings monthly. since taking a break and getting out of everest poker, haven't played a decent length session at stars, kinda unmotivated and just fuckign around with the car and shit now i feel a lot better and should be playing solid and not be affected with all the shit that comes with playing it. havent played more than 2k hands in 2 weeks which is pretty sick slow, considering i play that in 1 of my 4 sessions in a day usually. goals now are to get to 100nl roll again asap playing 50nl and just continue to grind until i reach a solid roll for 200nl again, cant buy anything thatll hurt my br now since i already bought the car so im pretty safe lol. peace out and gl

btw, sup with doomer ss'ing the 50nl tables? lol i guess hes teaching someone to grind fpps for him or soemthing, whatever.

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last year i deposited my final roll of about 2300 (actually last attempt at this game at poker in general) at pokerstars, thinking if nothing happens by june of 2008, im done. then by some stroke of luck, i improve like a madman and built it up to 11kplus by end of february, making really big folds and villains showing me hands like aa vs my folded kk pf etc - it was almost like magic, like i knew exactly what villains ranges were most of the time. of course i did run good and the fact that it was my last attempt really kept me disciplined and very very patient, i was playing with some of the midstakes regs now e.g. jlost88 and a lot of other guys playing 100nl, who at that time, i considered to be somewhat of an equal in terms of skill level and shit.

then i hit a terrible downswing by march, lost about 15bi (which was kind of terrible, it being my real first downswing without actually spewing or tilting much), then proceeded to withdraw like more than half of my roll (about 5k) to pay for some debts IRL and buy a nice lcd tv, a decent desktop (for games and fun) just to soothe the pain. i went on a surfing trip to relax and recollect my thoughts about what happend and how quickly i fucked up my roll, from 11k now back to 3500.

i went on to play cod4 and cs, sc a lot in march up to april, rarely playing at all above microstakes (25nl my favorite limit), and maybe won a couple hundred by april. then i got staked for 100nl by a friend (which lasted only for a week lol but i paid him 150 in profit) then proceeded to play may, hit supernova then hit a massive boomswitch at 100nl winning like 40bi in a weeks time. then june, august(got staked again but swhong bigtime but made money on concierge),sept oct happens and i continue to clear profits and concierge, maybe ave about 3k to 4k monthly up to nov, in which i win a tourney for 5kplus and get a 3k miltesone plus winnings by december.

what im really trying to tell here is that, after all the shwongs and shit, i won like 40k last year, and really really went through the most stressful and colorful year of my life, i dont think i handled it all well at all, and i made a promise to do a lot better this year, and i did, BUT, i feel this is an exact mirror of what happend so far last year. win about 6k jan and feb, so far win 1k in march, but really going through another similar downswing ( on the upside, i did buy a 19kusd car and not just a friggin lcd tv and desktop lol), i dont think i can handle another year of uncertainty and stress, i mightve improved a lot insofar as the game is concerned, but i feel that mentally, psychologically, i really havent - i might even have gotten a lot worse in those areas, which now i fear a lot. i really just wanted to blog about it, coz i feel kinda down and out, i dont want another 40k year, i want two or three times that! anything less ( or god forbid losing a lot), would really make me quit after this year, games are so tough after 2 years of playing, and i guess its def gonna get tougher and tougher. FML i need another vacation imo. any seasoned players who have made money out of poker have any advice on how to deal with this or what to do now? i realy am not going to withdraw anymore and i duno if i should just redeposit like my winnings so far (7kusd) and just grind it out while tightening up IRL. cashouts rape me a lot esp this one lol

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