+life ev to read this - Page 2

Thanks for sharing. Really motivating

stop smoking weed. Weed isn't meant for people who are unstable. It can mess up your life as much as alcohol if you're not careful. Get sober, become happy, remain stable and then start smoking weed.

On December 28 2010 13:41 Zep wrote: stop smoking weed. Weed isn't meant for people who are unstable. It can mess up your life as much as alcohol if you're not careful. Get sober, become happy, remain stable and then start smoking weed.

Yeah that's the plan, like I said I haven't smoked in a month and when I get back in January it will be 2. At that point I'll probably smoke on weekends or something along those lines. We'll see. It definitely CANNOT mess up your life as much as an alcohol addiction can though. Makes me think you have never smoked to say something like that. In which case, get your facts straight before you make comments like that. Sad how much misinformation there is about weed.

I read this while taking a dump.

On December 28 2010 14:21 Maynard! wrote: I read this while taking a dump.

That's not fair, I don't think my post can compete with a nice dump.

I recommend everyone to get an android phone.

TY for sharing this, I don't visit this site that often anymore but I'm glad I happened to run into this blog entry. I can relate to your life in a lot of ways and its surprising to see how similar another person's thought process/experience is to my own. My own experiences include: going through three dads (first was an alcoholic, second passed away due to heart problems, third was abusive, and thankfully the current one is a great person), being raised by a single mother suffering from depression in between each marriage, pressured into being 'brainwashed' in Catholicism by strict grandparents (for a period of time I was considering priesthood and believed I was evil for having sexual desires), and suffering from OCD. Like you, I always believed in being positive and that any weakness was a lack of discipline/willpower on my part. The funny thing is, the only reason I'm aware of these issues is because of a habit of regular meditation I started for better tilt control (decided to start after listening to Tommy Angelo's material). I went through a stage of awareness, denial, acceptance, and am now in the process of rehabilitating myself. It feels like I'm actually 'living', and I feel genuine happiness just breathing and being alive. I'm still dealing with eliminating negative beliefs and habits and reading your post gave me an extra motivation boost to not relapse so ty for that, and gl with your life as well

p.s. I had also had a drug phase where I smoked numerous times a day, got into ecstasy, tried cocaine, and I think that weed can be abused (any substance can ffs) but it can't ever, EVER be considered 'dangerous' lol

Kimseongchan, I'm glad my post could help you in any way =) That is the reason I wrote it. I can relate to the thinking you were evil for sexual desires. Growing up I was put on Scientology's equivalent of a lie detector and was forced to tell my parents extremely intimate and humiliating details about my masturbation habits. Describing exactly what I was thinking, what turned me on, and having to come up with a reason for why it was bad and I was wrong for doing it. Sometimes they would keep me in the chair into the night because I refused to reveal some embarrassing detail, but eventually I'd always give in just so I could leave. I'd try to go clean and not look at any porn but I'd see a boob on tv or something and nut myself and the habit would start again. It was all apart of the brainwashing though, degrading your sense of self by humiliating you and piling on tons of guilt. Scientology was just a bit more effective and concise method of doing it than other religions, but it's all the same principle.

Re meditation, I too have started practicing that and found it to be very helpful. I had a lot of success with breathing exercises and focusing on being in the moment, including some big breakthroughs where I learned how to relax and let go on a deep level. For my whole life I held my stomach in tight and I had a very controlled and shallow breathing pattern. With meditation I had a breakthrough where my breathing was completely natural and unforced, like a baby, and it felt great.

Sounds like you are doing well, keep it up man!