today was an okay day went to eat at the mall got a nice meal n drink with a buddy but other than that it was all poker. played 11$, 22$ n some free rolls. GG no luck. I need a few days off before I get back on the grind but I will get back on the grind just thinking if I want to stick to cash or try mtt again. im up like 1k on MTT last month but down 600 in cash cuz I was a donkey n wasn't fresh. I probably played like 40-50 hours of mtt last month only n probably 25 hours of cash. I didn't play a lot cuz I wasn't 100% but now im giving it my 110%. die doing poker.
im also getting a new computer soon, gonna cash out some investments and buy one when I see a good deal at Best Buy or something. cuz I can only 1 table on my current comp cuz of some stupid stuff. so it will be a good investment to buy a new computer.
a little history life was good from 18-24 then mental health kick in and wasn't feeling good but now im all mentally healthy again wise. I will get good in poker again. physically not so good but its passable. I dont know im sitting right now and wondering what to do in life if I don't get good at poker? I have no passion n interest other than being the best I can be in poker. if I didn't have mental health problems I would be rich as f but there is no if, cuz shit happens but ill make the best of what I have. im not good at coding like some lpers or have the bankroll to trade so best option is to grind out poker while I can and save n scrap every penny I make. I lack discipline, need to fix this up to be even better at life n poker. im starting to feel alive again n life isn't so mundane. I survive a lot of crap n still doing well is a testimony of my resilience where a lot of people would fold, I call n took the battle head on. so life is okay now not the best in some areas but best in other areas so its okay. money is important n a priority but its not my biggest priority, I am grateful I still have okay health n lots of other non money things like friends, good family etc. I am and feel bless n lucky to be where I am today. do I have everything? na but I have a lot of things. as for poker, goal is to win 20$ an hour now instead of what I use to make, the good times. I tried to work in a vape store and uber for a delivery but shit wasn't worth it. time to work as hard as possible in poker n MAKE IT again. there is no what if I dont succeed, there is only success on my mind. 20$ an hour isn't that hard right? iono im gonna die doing poker so lets go.
last but and the very most I am grateful for God who helps fight my battles even when I can't see it but I can feel it. thankzzzz GOD for ur grace and mercy much love
I have some things to do today to keep me busy so its good. need to clean my place a bit cuz its a bit of a pigsty right now -_-;. I dont sleep much but the sleep was good I usually get 5-6 hours of sleep a day but I don't have a lot to do with my free time.
im late 30s n its okay I can still climb the mountain again, life is okay n will be better going forward. I made it through my toughest times already and now will get even better as time goes on. I hope y'all make it too and accomplish your goals.
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