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RiKD    United States. Apr 11 2021 22:38. Posts 6596
I wrote some notes in a notebook...


Zoë is a beautiful woman and a unique character. I wanted Zoë. Zoë is a sex addict. I decided to not try to persuade or seduce Zoë to have sex with me in any way. That left things in interesting waters. Zoë got so much attention that I felt the urge to pathetically vie for some of that attention instead of just HODL the line. She would eventually come back to me and give me attention. The thing is it is not like there was really any danger of me manipulating her. The danger was her manipulating me. I have no idea if she even lives here anymore. She is a transient, nomadic creature.


I have a friend named Finn. Finn has a bone disease that causes pain. Finn used to have a cabinet full of Big Pharma. Now, Finn illegally uses marijuana products costing less money with more effectiveness than Big Pharma. Finn was also my first friend who stopped taking AA and other 12 step programs seriously. The fact that Finn was using marijuana products with out a doctor's prescription and questioned AA practices and effectiveness pissed off a lot of people. Finn did not give a fuck.

One of the reasons I bring up Finn is that he has been on disability for as long as I remember. It's a fucking grind. The government gives people on disability just enough money not to die out on the streets but not even in all cases. Finn lived in an ok old house. I think the government subsidized it. It provided more autonomy than living with his parents but living with his parents was not an option. It was in a rough area. Most people were nice but one could watch a crack deal or a shooting from one's patio. Finn had a rough upbringing and used to be addicted to crack so he knew the game. Finn was far from an easy target although he did not really have any other choice but to live there.

Finn had a humble but all-knowing quality to him that I think a lot of people were attracted to. Part of that quality was not being afraid to say "I don't know" if he did not know. We were always doing something. We would go fishing, talk on the patio, cook for people, etc. Screens were never involved. Finn had the most basic pay as you go flip phone possible. He didn't even have any screens! It was always inspiring for me to see Finn with a positive girlfriend despite all of his woes. I miss Finn.

Pink Matter

Back when I did improv in one of the performances that I do not even remember the context I boldly told the theatre the first thing that came to my mind: "If models were made for modeling, thick girls were made for cuddling!"

After the show some thick women came up to me slightly wet asking about that line. I told them the truth that no it was not an original thought but something that Andre 3000 wrote for his portion of Frank Ocean's song Pink Matter. One of them asked me if I shared that opinion and I said that yes I do... I would not have said it if I did not believe it. It was weird to have a fan to some extent or perhaps even a groupie at an Improv show in some small theatre in a mid-western city not named Chicago.

I think it was John Belushi who started his career at Second City in Chicago who said, "Good improv is better than sex." This is a guy who died doing crazy doses of eight balls... He knows his drugs and he is also correct. Good improv is better than sex. What does that mean? Does it mean that the improv community is a good place for casual sex among performers and audience members? Well, yes but probably more important is that improv is fun period.

I started taking advanced classes. There was this weird girl in there who I had seen perform and she was really good. I didn't say anything to her for 4 classes until we were in a scene together. The scene just fucking exploded into the most insane, bonkers, weird, sporadic, fun, energetic scene. We just kept going and going and the instructor let it go on and on and on until it seemed virtually impossible that we could top ourselves. The class gave us a standing ovation which never happens. The woman I did the scene with and I went back to being weird introverts but there was a charge there. Super charge. With the help of her I had just done the best improv scene of my life and it felt phenomenal. And then I didn't do anymore improv ever again...

I never really puzzled over it until this day. I think I was trying to do more days of improv than there are days in the week. I auditioned for a "professional" improv group and made it. We would be paid a share of the profits of the show. I guess I don't blame the founder and coach for trying to make it more commercial so he could make more money but it was just kind of lame as fuck so I quit. I had another team that we were always on the verge of breaking up and I don't think we were all that good anyways. I quit. Looking back on it though I should not have quit the advanced classes. The instructor did not excite me but he was actually what I needed. There were some fire people in that class. So what if I would constantly run into some of the people that I quit their teams? I made a bigger deal out of that at the time than I should have and suffered completely dropping out of a fun, exciting part of my life.

Now that I am almost vaccinated it seems I am considering making an improv comeback...

We will see.

I've thought about doing standup since forever. I even filled up a notebook with jokes. The sad thing about that notebook full of jokes is that there probably isn't even 10 min. of good material in there. I would not be looking forward to probably at least 6 months of bombing consistently every night. Also, where I live right now there is no such thing as stand-up "every night" or even ever. I am certainly not going to move to NYC or Austin (I will never move to LA) with 10 min. of bad material.


There is an OutKast song called SpottieOttieDopalicious that is a great summer song. There was one summer visiting my family that everything just seemed perfect. I was listening to a summer playlist that I made for the trip all the way up. The windows were down. SpottieOttieDopalicious had been playing so I was on that vibe. I was hitting a red light so I was slowing down and I noticed a fine SpottieOttieDopalicious angel in her own right waiting for the light to turn red so she could cross the street. She did not have any ear buds or anything so she definitely heard the song. Then the light was red and she put on the most graceful, sexy walk to the beat that I could not have even imagined. Just a great shape and hips and a large ass... which btw, how come black women always need to have a shapely large ass? What about a well proportioned ass that fits her body or what about the black women with skinny asses? Are we supposed to just discard them or something? I see white women all the time proud of their skinny ass wearing thongs... anyways...

So, then I get to my sister's apartment and she is staying with her boyfriend for the weekend. I open up the door and the aroma is overpowering... the desk is covered with the best weed in the city, zig zags, a bowl, etc. This was at a time when something like that might shake me up a bit. I went for a walk and called a friend. Also, luckily, my sister's cats love me. They were like, "Don't worry bro. We got your back" and were there for me with the lap sitting, cuddles and lolz.

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RiKD    United States. Apr 17 2021 19:19. Posts 6596

I visited family recently. My brother was talking about how he is probably going to get a new project. He is currently finding and grouping targets for predatory loans. The next project had to do something with finding and grouping the risk of rent default. After bringing up how Nigerian prince scams are a good business model he ask me about BTC. I was not going to bring this up anymore ever because I had already laid it all out on the line when I was slightly manic in February. I go into the psych ward and when I come out everything I said came true and BTC basically doubled. Now, my brother is probably wondering if I was just a lucky crazy person or if I knew exactly what I was talking about. My predictions were not grandiose. I was on twitter the second Elon Musk put #bitcoin in his bio. I told my brother Elon Musk was probably putting large portions of money into BTC. It would be wise to get some skin in the game ASAP. There might be a run on wallets and setting up exchange accounts so try to get ahead of those people. BTC will be going up. Anyways, he was not interested. He did bring up BTC in this conversation though. He asked some super detailed question on cryptography and I was like lul, fuck dude, I am happy you are doing some serious due diligence but you have to just throw some money on there and see how it works and it will be motivation to figure it out. Currently, he will never figure that cryptography problem out. He works 60+ hours a week at a desktop pc and then has to take care of a kid, a large house, and still give his wife enough attention or she will freak out.

I remember doing some quick math that if a lot of the gold market realizes that BTC is better than gold than BTC gets to like $600,000. I don't think it will work exactly like that. Some people will just stupidly hold gold especially if they think it's pure and got a good deal storing it in some bank in Manhattan and they never want to send it to London or Tokyo. The inflationary and impurity aspects of gold mining still make it shit but I would wager that there will be some people that still HODL gold. Non-idiots realize pretty quickly how much better BTC is than gold. The tougher one is this hard-wired belief in fiat currency. Whether it is the us dollar, euro, or chinese yuan it is ingrained in the past and even current zeitgeist. I remember my sister was asking about investments and I told her that if her employer matches 401k investments then definitely just do that and throw it in a Vanguard fund or get into picking stocks or whatever but if her employer does not match then start looking into things like BTC or getting a good deal on a house she likes. I added to keep in mind that the USA is a failed state that is headed for imminent collapse. My dad started to malfunction after that statement. My response was, "bro, you don't even believe in climate change. We are not going to have this discussion now." That ties into sometimes my dad and brother will have these conversations where they are smelling their own farts about how "astute" they are at investing. There is actually nothing more astute than buying a good home in a good area (or future good area) and investing in employer matching 401ks for most people but just mindlessly piling in portions of a paycheck into a default Fidelity fund does not make anyone Michael Burry. It's great (for them) that these people's houses are inflating like crazy and the stock market returns are good but what's going on? If the powers that be and the federal reserve can figure out how to get certain corporations 10% growth and certain portions of the stock market 10% I guess they are going to fucking do it (by any means necessary). What about all the crumbling and rotting underneath?

But, back to BTC. We are in an interesting time. The first time I put money into an exchange I had to go down to the local branch and get interrogated by the bank manager whose decision was basically "lul, I don't actually care... wire transfer fees numnumnumnum. If you dump it all on the worst parts of Silk Road I will never know, lul." Today, Alex Wice has his net worth in crypto and zero centralized bank accounts. It's pretty easy to see that crypto is also better than fiat currency. Even though there is all this crap like "we have arrived" and laser eyes there is still a long way to go.

hiems   United States. Apr 17 2021 23:25. Posts 2021

Rikd has my username "hiems" or something I posted/interacted with you ever come up in a therapy session? My vanity is very curious about this haha.

Make liquidpoker great again.Last edit: 17/04/2021 23:26

RiKD    United States. Apr 18 2021 02:10. Posts 6596

Probably never with past therapists but I did just think of an example when I was talking with the forensics psychiatrist in the psych ward. I was telling her my twitter home page is definitely a bubble but that poker site that I still visit the vocal majority are right-wingers. You would fit in there. Sometimes I wonder if those doctors were capable of anything other than increasing my medications. One thought I was on the brink of joining Q and as I've said another gave me a 10 min. lecture on staying away from parler. There was no point in even explaining myself. Btw, the itemized bill was absurd. Anyways, I have no plans of ever seeing a therapist again so sorry hiems you probably aren't getting any mentions.

hiems   United States. Apr 21 2021 13:53. Posts 2021

"You would fit in there"

Yeah, right... That's like mentioning the team that you're playing next week is the 95-96 Chicago Bulls and Michael Jordan "fits in there".

Make liquidpoker great again. 

lostaccount   Canada. Apr 27 2021 17:11. Posts 3434

rikd you should write a biography one day, u seem like a good story teller lol


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