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RiKD    United States. Mar 12 2019 20:07. Posts 8442
Not that anyone realized I was gone. I just want to write out some experiences.

Health Insurance:

So, I recently found out that my health insurance doesn't cover any of my "Behavioral Health" costs at my current hospital. But, my PCP is still covered under their "Medical Care." So, the woman basically said "Your doctors will not agree with our agreement so fuck them (and fuck you)." Now, I either have to pay an exorbitant amount of money for the care I am currently receiving or switch to some LLC Pysch + Therapy combo. It's not all on the health insurance though. I re-examined the bills I was getting and they were horseshit. Double billing me. One of the charges was $440 for 1 hour but they billed me 1 hour of psychotherapy at $180 and 1 hour of psychiatry at $260. The doctor verified my meds and then we had a therapy session. It's all bullshit. Now, I have to get things straightened out with the doctors and the billing and I have to get things straightened out with my employer and their health insurance and I am going to have to make some wagers. I guess all parties have to negotiate or someone is going to get taken advantage of. It just feels like the person getting taken advantage of is me. In situations like this I want to strike out against everyone. I want to quit my Doctors, I want to quit my job, I want to quit capitalistic society. That is looking pretty bleak. Capitalism is the root cause of all my problems. I have been reading the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu. I wish to discuss it further which means I don't have the Tao. I don't understand how I can be content with my lot in life. It's like capitalism causes sickness. Capitalism takes advantage of sickness. It's an absolute monster.

Taxes:

I have heard people feel patriotic when doing taxes. Fuck that! Mine aren't all that difficult except for TurboTax's shitty health insurance software. I had to re-do that 3 times. Fuck Countries! Fuck Parties! ni aux patries ni aux parties. It's all coercion. The shit system that we are supporting is depressing. Will nothing happen due to our depressed resignation???
That might be one of the most important questions to ask.

I made more than I made last year but my medical bills mixed with my increased cost of medical insurance I may or may not be doing better. I may be better off getting a job that doesn't offer insurance so I can get back on Obamacare. One rule about Obamacare is that if your employer offers insurance you HAVE to take it. Meaning I went from good Obamacare insurance to really shitty Mr. Jeff Bezos insurance. "Behavioral Health." Get the fuck out of here. Capitalism caused my bipolar and my alcoholism and still does. It's a miracle I don't still drink or do drugs. Donald Trump is anti-Tao. I don't really want to go after anybody I just want to go after something... Capitalism. I'm in the jungles right now. I'm still learning. I always seem to be still learning.

Ugh, too much to talk about.

I will go read "Capitalist Realism" by Mark Fisher and then take a walk in Nature.

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 Last edit: 13/03/2019 03:51

Baalim   Mexico. Mar 13 2019 05:00. Posts 34246

a man takes a little taste of the abursdly inefficiency of government bureacracy in healthcare and he decides that the problem is the free market lol

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dnagardi   Hungary. Mar 13 2019 14:04. Posts 1776

lol I would also feel patriotic when paying taxes if our corrupt goverment wouldnt steal 70% of the tax money. Hungary is just horrible in that way.


RiKD    United States. Mar 13 2019 14:10. Posts 8442

Health insurance is mostly privatized here. Medicaid in PA (govt.) and Obamacare in SC (govt. subsidized) were better than the insurance Mr. Besos chose. I actually don't even know the status of MUSC (Medical University of South Carolina) Hospital. They are a public university and hospital yet they run the ship as a for-profit institution. Both United Healthcare (my current provider) and MUSC have ghoulish, white CEOs smiling in suits and ties. My main point was that capitalism was the reason for my Bipolar I and my alcoholism. Then capitalism takes advantage of these illnesses. Capitalism had me pay $30,000 for rehab that was pretty much here is a Big Book, go to AA meetings. The bipolar nature of both poker and sales led to my "Bipolar I." The remedy for that is $400/hr psychotherapy sessions, and a cabinet full of pharmaceuticals. The health insurance companies will leverage me to get whatever they want. It's a disaster. It's all a complicated disaster.


RiKD    United States. Mar 13 2019 14:45. Posts 8442

"As CEO at UNITEDHEALTH GROUP INC, David S. Wichmann made $17,389,976 in total compensation. Of this total $1,162,308 was received as a salary, $4,909,800 was received as a bonus, $2,775,328 was received in stock options, $8,325,566 was awarded as stock and $216,974 came from other types of compensation." (salary.com)


RiKD    United States. Mar 13 2019 14:48. Posts 8442



Net worth: 137 billion USD (2019)


RiKD    United States. Mar 13 2019 14:51. Posts 8442

Keep building those Montessori schools buddy but you got a long way to go and it's still Capitalist realism ole buddy ole pal.


GoTuNk   Chile. Mar 13 2019 15:01. Posts 2860


  On March 13 2019 04:00 Baalim wrote:
a man takes a little taste of the abursdly inefficiency of government bureacracy in healthcare and he decides that the problem is the free market lol



and complaints about taxes


Baalim   Mexico. Mar 13 2019 21:49. Posts 34246


  On March 13 2019 13:10 RiKD wrote:
Health insurance is mostly privatized here. Medicaid in PA (govt.) and Obamacare in SC (govt. subsidized) were better than the insurance Mr. Besos chose



American corporate-state healthcare isn't remotely free market, do you think the free market looks like having to choose between government provided healthcare, government subsidized healthcare or government mandated healthcare to employer?


No, in the free market you walk into the psychiatrist office and pay her.

If you want to be extra safe you would get a insurance that covers expensive catastrophic health poblems like cancer, and you could pick the insurance company that offers the best combo of price and the best record of not trying to drop people out of bullshit reasons.

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Baalim   Mexico. Mar 13 2019 21:51. Posts 34246


  On March 13 2019 14:01 GoTuNk wrote:
Show nested quote +



and complaints about taxes


lol yeah.

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RiKD    United States. Mar 14 2019 00:18. Posts 8442


  On March 13 2019 20:49 Baalim wrote:
Show nested quote +



American corporate-state healthcare isn't remotely free market, do you think the free market looks like having to choose between government provided healthcare, government subsidized healthcare or government mandated healthcare to employer?


No, in the free market you walk into the psychiatrist office and pay her.

If you want to be extra safe you would get a insurance that covers expensive catastrophic health poblems like cancer, and you could pick the insurance company that offers the best combo of price and the best record of not trying to drop people out of bullshit reasons.


It's not that simple and my employer is not mandated by the government to provide healthcare. I am mandated by the government to take my employer's healthcare if they offer it. I could also get my own healthcare like I did when I played poker but after a quick look there were not many good options. It is ok to get relatively cheap shitty insurance with a really high deductible when I was healthy in my 20s and didn't even go to the doctor or dentist. It is a different story now.

There is nothing hypocritical about bitching about taxes. The government is an accomplice to capitalism. The current bipartisan system is not legitimate. Why would I vote or happily pay taxes?

The current system only benefits the wealthy elite and the bourgeois class. Would the situation be better with a progressive tax? All, these other social democratic things? Probably. I am not a social democrat. They are still entrenched in the current system. Even Bernie Sanders. Would we have to go in that direction first before we can realize some form of anarchy or libertarianism? Maybe. I don't know. "There should be a new section in the DSM for people that believe in ancap." I thought that was a funny joke by someone that wrote into Mexie's Q&A video. I really don't want to discuss it too much I just thought I would throw in that jab. I am trying to write less in a stream of consciousness style but it looks like I am failing. I know your position and you aren't going to budge. I noticed you even changed the lingo to Free Market but it's still the same thing. And, it's easy to just call someone a Red or a Commie. Anarchists are typically neither even if they have a reverence for Marx. And, it's easy to jump on the bandwagon and attack me like has happened in previous blogs when I post something against the status quo. (Although it's really just me venting a bit and sharing the experience of some situations that are fucked up in the USA. I'm sure most on here could relate from the USA or not from the USA).

 Last edit: 14/03/2019 01:56

Baalim   Mexico. Mar 14 2019 01:49. Posts 34246

when you are mandating the state to take an insurance, then you are not being fucked by capitalism, you are being fucked by the government.

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Big_Rob_isback   United States. Mar 15 2019 07:50. Posts 211

I feel really bad for you man. Someone dealing with bipolar and then having to maneuver through healthcare and changing doctors can be really devastating. I really hope things turn out well for you soon.

just playing live poker for fun 

RiKD    United States. Mar 16 2019 17:03. Posts 8442

Thank you. I'll be alright. Until I'm not. No one makes it out alive but Capitalism might get me before old age like it has gotten so many others.

I just want to share beauty.

"To do good, work well, and lie low
is the way of the blessing."

- Ursula K Le Guin translation of the "Tao Te Ching" Pt. IX

Actually, I'll post the whole thing:

Being Quiet

Brim-fill the bowl,
it'll spill over.
Keep sharpening the blade,
you'll soon blunt it.

Nobody can protect
a house full of gold and jade.

Wealth, status, pride,
are their own ruin.
To do good, work well, and lie low
is the way of the blessing.

Beauty:



I've posted this before but I am posting again b/c I started a radio of this song on Spotify and found the above song. I am really excited about Leon Vynehall as a musician and going deep into all his stuff but the song I am going to post below is an OG. Iop. from our very own LP was the one who dug in the crates and got me this gem:



It's crazy with this song. I've been at the grips of death. Like can't get out of bed listening to this on repeat. In a car going 100mph through the mountains contemplating if today is the day I drive off the cliff. I've also been euphoric. Pink skies just played 4 hours of basketball in the sun with the comrades. At the end of a vacation driving home I see pink skies and a double rainbow. There is so much emotion tied up into this song for me.

I don't want to kill myself yet. I may end up ranting and raving about capitalism, imperialism, neo-liberalism on here. Really, I am just starving for Revolution.


RiKD    United States. Mar 16 2019 17:09. Posts 8442


RiKD    United States. Mar 16 2019 18:34. Posts 8442

I don't have time to dig up the direct quote but Capitalist realism by Mark Fisher is brilliant.

The problem isn't that climate change is everyone's responsibility. Climate change is no one's responsibility. That is the Real problem.

His words on the deadening, and hollowing of bureaucratic managers is also especially poignant.


Loco   Canada. Mar 16 2019 19:00. Posts 20963

I was reading this essay yesterday, it's brilliant: https://www.weareplanc.org/blog/mark-fisher-no-romance-without-finance/

Of course there's a self-advertising free market fundamentalist in the comments there. These people are everywhere.

fuck I should just sell some of my Pokemon cards, if no one stakes that is what I will have to do - lostaccountLast edit: 16/03/2019 19:03

Loco   Canada. Mar 17 2019 01:38. Posts 20963

https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/...protests-arctic-melting-a8825936.html

"The end of the world is no longer a fanciful hypothesis. It is the most plausible scenario. In the last week, the UN Environment assembly announced its finding that, even if the Paris Agreement targets were met, global temperatures would rise by three to five degrees Celsius above pre-industrial levels."

"World powers view this disaster as a commercial and military opportunity to be deliriously pursued. Nato conducts grandstanding exercises in the region, the US and Canada invest in new fleets of ice-cutters, Denmark successfully trials its first commercial voyage in the transpolar sea route, and Russia re-opens military bases. The British government anticipates $100bn worth of investment in the new, blue Arctic, while the US looks forward to mining vital oil and gas reserves hidden under the thinning ice. This is not that different in practice from the Trump administration, which admitted that it expected a catastrophic 4 degrees of global warming by 2100, but only in order to justify ditching fuel-efficiency standards as a waste of time. Since the planet is doomed, capitalism nihilism seems to suggest, we may as well party now."

fuck I should just sell some of my Pokemon cards, if no one stakes that is what I will have to do - lostaccountLast edit: 17/03/2019 01:39

Loco   Canada. Mar 17 2019 02:17. Posts 20963




fuck I should just sell some of my Pokemon cards, if no one stakes that is what I will have to do - lostaccountLast edit: 17/03/2019 02:26

RiKD    United States. Mar 17 2019 06:10. Posts 8442

I am not in a mode to read essays at the moment but that Gilet jaunes stuff is truly inspirational. I want to get that second picture framed and put on my wall.

This song pumps me up:



I looked up a translation and was not the most happy about it but it still pumps me up

I really like this one too. Lyrics aren't bad:



"My pussy tastes like Pepsi Cola"



"In the land of Gods and Monsters, I was an Angel, looking to get fucked hard"



The Really Real


Loco   Canada. Mar 17 2019 20:08. Posts 20963

fuck I should just sell some of my Pokemon cards, if no one stakes that is what I will have to do - lostaccount 

Spitfiree   Bulgaria. Mar 18 2019 00:34. Posts 9634

I legit don't know how Americans bear with their healthcare system and why aren't there shittons of healthcare tourism providers. Obviously in your case things are different and I would probably just move to Europe if I were you


RiKD    United States. Mar 19 2019 05:29. Posts 8442


  On March 17 2019 23:34 Spitfiree wrote:
I legit don't know how Americans bear with their healthcare system and why aren't there shittons of healthcare tourism providers. Obviously in your case things are different and I would probably just move to Europe if I were you



I have been thinking about this post.

[There is afterglow with MDMA and with sex and with MDMA + sex]

I am a British citizen. I am told I wouldn't want to go there for healthcare. I wouldn't want to live in Great Britain anyways. Cool to visit. Not cool to live there. I am unsure if I can still get a British passport. I probably should have done this ages ago especially when I was traveling through Europe when I played poker but I just couldn't be bothered even though I remember everyone telling me I was an idiot.

[I almost decided to make a run for it and go to Magic City, ATL. I am listening to Rihanna - Jump which makes me think about strip clubs]

Anyways, I was never one to capitalize on every edge. I was just too lazy. I wanted to play poker much of the time like I wanted to beat my best time on Mario Kart 64 time trials and make stacks of Purple Euros so I could buy good weed and do what I want.

Anwyways, my therapist asked me what my dream world looked like including where I live. I thought I would be happiest in Vexin, FR or perhaps Sardegnia, ITA.

[This Rihanna song is Really trash. I was such a different person when I made this playlist. I am such a different person now. But, walking through an empty grocery store at midnight and buying up all the ice cream, et al, not too much has changed]

How would I actually go about moving to Vexin, FR or Sardegnia, ITA?

What about Costa Rica?

I mean I think I could be relatively ok in a lot of places. I could be relatively ok in the USA especially in certain cities but I do feel like it would be easier to thrive in a Plato sense somewhere in Europe but I could be wrong and fantasizing.


RiKD    United States. Mar 19 2019 05:30. Posts 8442

Lorde - Pure Heroine has staying power


RiKD    United States. Mar 19 2019 05:36. Posts 8442

He's on that Michael Jordan,
He's on that Bulls shit, Bullsshit.


RiKD    United States. Mar 19 2019 05:48. Posts 8442

Fuckkkkkkkkk

I can't find the interview where the singer of Florence + the Machine describes how she recorded "Shake it out" it's fucking epic.

Great song. Great fucking song for a hangover.

I used to sip on some Vitamin water + Sprite + ice water and nibble on dry toast and take a walk in Nature and listen to Florence + TM 's first album and it fucking did wonders.


RiKD    United States. Mar 19 2019 15:29. Posts 8442

So, I really don't like a lot of the imagery in this video but I really love this song (this video is probably more problematic to any Revolutionary cause but the song itself gets me fired up):


RiKD    United States. Mar 19 2019 15:32. Posts 8442

Here we go:



We need some daft punk in our lives. They are a cornerstone to Vexin 2020. Or, Vexin 20?? It might be hard to get something together in 1 year in my position.

Thomas Banghaltar also did the soundtrack for Irreversible which is one of my favorite films by Gaspar Noe.


RiKD    United States. Mar 19 2019 15:39. Posts 8442

This is something a little different. I kind of like it though. Women's gospel chorus always gets me though. I wish they would have made that more of the focus. We need everyone. Not just diplo and daft punk fans:



RiKD    United States. Mar 19 2019 15:49. Posts 8442

This is pretty good erotica. Like pop erotica with some good use of punctum but I feel like I could create better erotica. It may not be palatable for the masses though but fuck that. I don't even really like Madonna. In fact, I would say I sort of dislike Madonna but here we go. (I like her and dislike her):


RiKD    United States. Mar 19 2019 15:51. Posts 8442

James Blake has some staying power. I don't know about his new shit or his DJ'ing though.


RiKD    United States. Mar 19 2019 15:58. Posts 8442


RiKD    United States. Mar 19 2019 16:05. Posts 8442

Obviously, I want Gojira playing at a Gilet jaunes + World Movement festival. Meshugga too. Tool too.


RiKD    United States. Mar 20 2019 04:45. Posts 8442



I have this belief that Kate Moss will save the world but she's definitely (probably) not going to.


RiKD    United States. Mar 20 2019 09:42. Posts 8442

Oh Kate....



Please help me save the World?


RiKD    United States. Mar 20 2019 09:54. Posts 8442

What do we make of this?



No stun grenades to the face I see. I see. I see until I don't.


RiKD    United States. Mar 20 2019 10:09. Posts 8442

An LP Classic. Mez had his birthday party in the same suite as the music video below (@ the Palms in Las Vegas). Dan Bilzerian was there. I was more excited that d_zoo was there (I had never met him). A lot of people were there. That might have been one of the peaks of LP ballerness. Tjbentham might have gone on to win like $10mil over 5 years or something after that I don't really know I don't keep up with the poker scene but I honestly I would have liked to keep up with Ket and Tom a bit better. My first time to vegas I slept on the floor of the hotel room that Ket won a PS package to the Main Event that year. Then I got a bed in Rainkhan's room that he won in a PS satellite. Oh man, we were fucking noobs at everything but it was fun.



This particular song I probably think of Corwin and Evan the most.

And, I miss my Malta crew and my Buenos Aires crew.

My therapist says I need more intimacy in my life. Male intimacy and female intimacy. It would be good to have friends and dates but I may be too independent and hardened and poor at this point. I don't know. We will see. Watching The Dream videos I am certain will not help with this problem but who doesn't love a little nostalgia now and then?


RiKD    United States. Mar 20 2019 10:35. Posts 8442

Do I resent my class status?

Do I resent the bourgeois? (yes)

Do I resent the wealthy elite? (yes)

Do I resent this experience machine taking place RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW? (sure, or at least the determinist structures it has erected)


RiKD    United States. Mar 22 2019 04:55. Posts 8442

Fuck Virgil Abloh. Biggest projects are with Nike and Louie Vuitton????? Fuck that. He may or may not be a good DJ. That's cool man.

I'm drawn into it all. Late stage Capitalism. Fuck it. I am listening to Midnight Marauders by A Tribe Called Quest. It's a classic and it's almost like necessary to listen to it at Midnight. You know how I learned how to listen to ATCQ late at night? An interview with skateboard p and ye. They are Late Stage Capitalist All-Stars but I don't care it's dope music. Mexie even uses Kanye's instrumental Real Friends for one of her videos. Hypocrite. At least I am honest about my flaws or how can listening to music that makes me feel good be a bad thing unless you are some stuffy Buddhist? I need more evidence than Pharrell doing 1 concert for the Israeli Army.

Fuck this. I am going back to painting my YPG inspired project. YPJ too but I am on the sidelines man. It sucks being on the sidelines. Fuck Drake too. Dirk Nowitzki fadeaway J to the face bitch. Fuck Jordans. Get Vejas. Probably fucking owned by Nike. Bullet to the brain. One and done. But, I cherish my frontal lobe. I'll fucking take an AK into the jungles and fuck a chimp in her swollen vagina......... ....... ....

We can get down, we can we can down.

Awwww, it's like that man, it's like that.

Heyyy

That's all folks.


 



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