Heretic and an idiot

I caught a glimpse of escaping death with that blog post. It only makes me want to communicate more and faster. I caught a glimpse of death by being alive. It only makes me want to communicate more and faster.

I just got back from the gym. Of course, my disposition is in a better place. I didn't think about dying when I was trying to pull my 8th rep on the one arm dumbbell row. What I am curious about is what is the difference between becoming an achievement-subject in the gym and becoming an achievement-subject working for a corporation?

Let's start with the gym. Why am I there? It was actually a question I was asking myself today. So, it has a tendency of improving my disposition. It's been shown to fend off depression and anxiety. Should I be there to get bigger muscles or to look "sexier"? Is that a reasonable end?

I am surrounded by signs like "Limitless," "Go Harder," "Go Faster," "Go Beyond."

Does anyone lift weights for the sake of doing it? Even if it is solely for some level of euphoria that will only lead to some level of burnout.

I suppose the corporate achievement-subject is less benign. What is the end here? Competition, status, and primarily consumption. It's all seduction. Some will thrive I'm sure. Most will not. The worst part is the seduction is so light and invisible that it is difficult to resist. It's seemingly impossible to resist Neoliberalism. It has everyone convinced that they should blame themselves in all conditions rather than perhaps taking a look at the permeating culture.

I'll be honest, I am a bit scared. The company I work for is very adept at this craft of invisible seduction. My motive of doing a good job and making the company more profitable so I can keep my job and have opportunities just happens to coincide with the model of self-exploiting achievement-subject. I don't know if there is any way around it I just need to be aware of it so I don't burnout, get depressed, and self-destruct.

I much prefer contemplative lingering but I just haven't been able to find a way into the philosophy space. It could be a much different thing when I am asked to read some 1,000 page tome of someone who I am not interested in and write a 25 page paper on it. Much of this existence is not easy. And here I am writing even more and even faster.

All of them have this bull*t about going faster and beyond but I will tell you a little secret. I get more money and work 10x less than when I tried to be an artist/run my own business. It is a lot less stress too and a lot more free time. Seriously, once you played poker or tried to run a legitimate business, working for a corporation is a piece of cake.

What is your goal? The gym/corporation/whatever else should be just your tools for your goals.
Friends, community? There is plenty of time left to do it while working at a corp. Also, what community you want to join? Jobless people? Well, if it is your goal, don't work.
If not, you have to be in a working people community to get access to this community. That is life. You can't connect with people if you don't struggle with things they struggle with... that includes having a job.

The end game here is you move towards YOUR goals using different tools at your disposal. You don't self-exploit yourself. If you think you do this, you have it backwards.

I found poker easier than my time at a multi-national. Poker came pretty easy for me and I was good enough and put in the work when I needed to to get a piece of the pie. I was not one of the ones that lasted however. I underestimated the variance in PLO and burned out and self-destructed right at the wrong time. Burnout can be salvaged. Self-destruction not so much. That is the natural progression though. Euphoria - Sameness - Burnout - Depression - Self-destruction. I went through the same thing at the multinational. My manager's manager told us all in the first meeting that I was a contractor. It was my responsibility to manage my business. Even though I was an employee with a capped salary I became an entrepreneur of the self. Just as in poker. The sky was the limit and I intended to fly past Icarus. It followed the same path. Euphoria - Sameness - Burnout - Depression - Self-destruction.

I don't have any goals. There are roads I would like to travel and there are detours and further detours and I am mostly just wandering. Seeking. Seeking what I am not so sure. Seeking knowledge. Avoiding information. There are no conclusions besides death.

Neoliberalism has us by the balls. Our goals are their goals. Everything becomes for work. There is no leisure time only breaks from work. I did a great job educating myself on life during my time as a man of leisure. I would just hate to see it thrown down the drain. But, this is an opportunity for experience. I am here anyways. Let's see if I can produce x amount of orders in a sane way and not want to come home and consume for status or anesthetic purposes. I am slightly worried about this "customer obsession" thing. I like the Other but not enough to obsess even if they are customers. I do think hospitality is a virtue though and when I am on the clock that store can be considered my home. Look at me rationalizing and being positive. That store is not my home. Once I say "can" it turns to should. Either way it is a place I will be spending a lot of time and to be hospitable is the right thing to do.

You're not a heretic

Don't be so hard on yourself

Having children is bad.

Christmas is bullshit.

I am an atheist and an anti-theist.

Neoliberalism is a dictator.

There is no heaven.

There is no immortal soul.

et cetera.

Nausea

"beauty"

Smoooth

More real than real. Perfect for an Instagram post done from an iPhone X while drinking Limited Edition Dom Perignon by Jeff Koons. The pinnacle of life! Only positivity allowed!

Beauty will save the world but how do we save beauty?

I don't know what it is I just take a certain restlessness and hurriedness with me when I am "done" with work. It's hard to get over that. It's such a stark contrast to contemplating some Byung-Chul Han and having no idea what time it is or even what day it is. I take that pressure to produce and to profit with me. That slight nervousness and anxiety. It's more of a subconscious tension. Maybe Tinder can solve this.... Shit, I'm turned on now what.... as I frantically scroll through Pornhub to find a video that suits my taste and rather rapidly shoot my load into a nearby t-shirt... Just to simply have an orgasm as maybe the solution to my problems but my problem is neoliberalism. My problem is existence. The solutions just bring more problems. Like my writing of this post: rapidly, frantically. Where does it end? When does it slow down?

Actual conversation with the Other I can talk myself free and offer up such a gift as listening to allow them to do the same.

I am not ready to contemplate how we save beauty just yet. I was this morning and then work happened. That sucks. Oh well, I have 2 days of leisure to get back to andante before ruining it all with work again. I am finding my way.

On July 08 2018 22:06 RiKD wrote: I found poker easier than my time at a multi-national. Poker came pretty easy for me and I was good enough and put in the work when I needed to to get a piece of the pie. I was not one of the ones that lasted however. I underestimated the variance in PLO and burned out and self-destructed right at the wrong time. Burnout can be salvaged. Self-destruction not so much. That is the natural progression though. Euphoria - Sameness - Burnout - Depression - Self-destruction. I went through the same thing at the multinational. My manager's manager told us all in the first meeting that I was a contractor. It was my responsibility to manage my business. Even though I was an employee with a capped salary I became an entrepreneur of the self. Just as in poker. The sky was the limit and I intended to fly past Icarus. It followed the same path. Euphoria - Sameness - Burnout - Depression - Self-destruction. I don't have any goals. There are roads I would like to travel and there are detours and further detours and I am mostly just wandering. Seeking. Seeking what I am not so sure. Seeking knowledge. Avoiding information. There are no conclusions besides death. Neoliberalism has us by the balls. Our goals are their goals. Everything becomes for work. There is no leisure time only breaks from work. I did a great job educating myself on life during my time as a man of leisure. I would just hate to see it thrown down the drain. But, this is an opportunity for experience. I am here anyways. Let's see if I can produce x amount of orders in a sane way and not want to come home and consume for status or anesthetic purposes. I am slightly worried about this "customer obsession" thing. I like the Other but not enough to obsess even if they are customers. I do think hospitality is a virtue though and when I am on the clock that store can be considered my home. Look at me rationalizing and being positive. That store is not my home. Once I say "can" it turns to should. Either way it is a place I will be spending a lot of time and to be hospitable is the right thing to do.

The fact you found poker easier is your subjective thought. The fact that you lost everything proves it is not easy. You just happened to win for a while. There are far fewer long term poker winners than people doing contracting jobs which is another objective measure of what is easier.

It is fine not to have goals. It does not mean this will lead you good places, though. Quite the contrary in general, just so you know. You are already on your road there, if you want it, keep doing what you are doing.
It is really not hard. If you don't aim at better you, you have 1 most likely road left. Self destruction (slower or faster). Just saying in case you do not realize it.

You cannot see past your worldview. Hardly anyone can. It is not your fault because "people do not have ideas. Ideas have people". If you understand this, there is a chance you may free yourself and step outside your box. There might be no escape though. It is a lot of work. It is far easier to stay where you are and that is what 99% people do. You have got to be something to be in 1%.

Your opinion is as real for you as my opinion is real for me so who is right? We both are.

Nothing has got me by the balls, if anything, you have got yourself by the balls.

Different people got different personalities. Poker is the easiest thing ive done. But I guess for others its hard

I mean, it is just statistics and people who make a career out of it vs people who burn out long term. It is not easy statistically (therefore objectively) speaking. It may be easy for you, but it is subjective.
Yeah, people should match their personalities to the jobs they want... if they want to increase their chances of success.

On July 09 2018 23:15 nlloser60 wrote: Show nested quote + On July 08 2018 22:06 RiKD wrote: I found poker easier than my time at a multi-national. Poker came pretty easy for me and I was good enough and put in the work when I needed to to get a piece of the pie. I was not one of the ones that lasted however. I underestimated the variance in PLO and burned out and self-destructed right at the wrong time. Burnout can be salvaged. Self-destruction not so much. That is the natural progression though. Euphoria - Sameness - Burnout - Depression - Self-destruction. I went through the same thing at the multinational. My manager's manager told us all in the first meeting that I was a contractor. It was my responsibility to manage my business. Even though I was an employee with a capped salary I became an entrepreneur of the self. Just as in poker. The sky was the limit and I intended to fly past Icarus. It followed the same path. Euphoria - Sameness - Burnout - Depression - Self-destruction. I don't have any goals. There are roads I would like to travel and there are detours and further detours and I am mostly just wandering. Seeking. Seeking what I am not so sure. Seeking knowledge. Avoiding information. There are no conclusions besides death. Neoliberalism has us by the balls. Our goals are their goals. Everything becomes for work. There is no leisure time only breaks from work. I did a great job educating myself on life during my time as a man of leisure. I would just hate to see it thrown down the drain. But, this is an opportunity for experience. I am here anyways. Let's see if I can produce x amount of orders in a sane way and not want to come home and consume for status or anesthetic purposes. I am slightly worried about this "customer obsession" thing. I like the Other but not enough to obsess even if they are customers. I do think hospitality is a virtue though and when I am on the clock that store can be considered my home. Look at me rationalizing and being positive. That store is not my home. Once I say "can" it turns to should. Either way it is a place I will be spending a lot of time and to be hospitable is the right thing to do. The fact you found poker easier is your subjective thought. The fact that you lost everything proves it is not easy. You just happened to win for a while. There are far fewer long term poker winners than people doing contracting jobs which is another objective measure of what is easier.

That's why I said I thought it came pretty easy for me. That is subjective. I didn't lose everything. I lost my bankroll. Unless I started playing again and tilting it away at high stakes and going into debt I will be a winning poker player for as long as I live. I don't even want to get into it with that last sentence. It is not that simple.

It is fine not to have goals. It does not mean this will lead you good places, though. Quite the contrary in general, just so you know. You are already on your road there, if you want it, keep doing what you are doing. It is really not hard. If you don't aim at better you, you have 1 most likely road left. Self destruction (slower or faster). Just saying in case you do not realize it.

I don't write down my goals. Of course, I am aiming. I am aiming to acquire more knowledge, watch out for information, make sure I can continue eating food, make sure I can continue sleeping in an adequate shelter, I would like to be able to pay for my car. It doesn't make sense to ride a bike around here. I would like to pay for my health, pay for doing things with friends, pay for doing things with dates. The list can go on for a while.

I had a goal to make $40k/yr. Why? It took me a year of making $10k and reading and discussing and it took me a miserable job at $70k to make me realize that's not it. I definitely don't have goals involving consumption. That's one thing I've learned. So, what, you want me to be some kind of optimization machine? That's not it either. I may self destruct but it's not because I don't have a goal of buying a Porsche Boxter by the time I'm 40. Now, if I really want to go to the University of Arts (in Berlin) and study Philosophy and Culture Studies I'll do it. I already have some things working against me. I don't have any money and my German is rusty. My German is not just rusty I would need improvement to understand lectures, read material, and write at a university level. If I really wanted to do it I could probably make it work but I could also do what I am doing here and read all the same philosophers in my comfy bed at a relatively much lower cost.

You cannot see past your worldview. Hardly anyone can. It is not your fault because "people do not have ideas. Ideas have people". If you understand this, there is a chance you may free yourself and step outside your box. There might be no escape though. It is a lot of work. It is far easier to stay where you are and that is what 99% people do. You have got to be something to be in 1%. Your opinion is as real for you as my opinion is real for me so who is right? We both are. Nothing has got me by the balls, if anything, you have got yourself by the balls.

That's why I read so much damn philosophy because I can't see past my worldview. I am not in a box man. What's in the boooxxxxx? It's not me man. It's + Show Spoiler +

. I am a flower open to light. If the 1% takes self-exploitation and "optimization" no thanks man. You can try. You Can try and You Should try. Gogogogogo!

If you aren't in the .1% neoliberalism has you by the balls.

The second part of that sentence may have been the most profound thing you have ever said but it is not true for me when I am a sovereign man of leisure.

I am closest to my dreams as I'll ever be. I just woke up.

Waiting to go to brunch. Waiting for Godot.

I was having a conversation with my mom and somehow anti-natalism came up and I told her it was David Benetar's position that having children is bad b/c basically there is no suffering in nothingness and surely suffering in existence. Her response was "But they are such an unbelievable joy at times." I kind of wanted to just kill the conversation so I did but that response is a perfect example of what I am talking about. Notice how she only looked at it from her perspective. It shows the self-centeredness and narcissism of parents. It also is an example of how humans tend to reduce negativity and exaggerate positivity.

The presence (the dynamics) of this blind field is, I believe, what distinguishes the erotic photograph from the pornographic photograph... for me, there is no punctum in the pornographic image; at most it amuses me (and even then, boredom follows quickly).

Roland Barthes, Camera Lucida, pp.57/59

On July 10 2018 01:29 RiKD wrote: That's why I read so much damn philosophy because I can't see past my worldview. I am not in a box man. What's in the boooxxxxx? It's not me man. It's + Show Spoiler + Gweneth Paltrow's head . I am a flower open to light. If the 1% takes self-exploitation and "optimization" no thanks man. You can try. You Can try and You Should try. Gogogogogo! If you aren't in the .1% neoliberalism has you by the balls. The second part of that sentence may have been the most profound thing you have ever said but it is not true for me when I am a sovereign man of leisure.

I am probably wrong but I think you are getting close to realizing that there are other boxes you don't know exist. You know, the ones you think are BS. They make life worth living at every level of your life despite the tragedy of life.

Back in the day, I thought similarly and was in a similar state. Then I was lucky I think. I decided that before blaming the world and "dying" I will read about every counter idea to what I currently believe in, there is a chance I am wrong. In fact, I am sure I am wrong at some level of analysis and it is given you are wrong too.
It is not easy to make the first step, though. You know, people prefer to make wars and die for their beliefs...it is really sad. I don't expect you can do it, really.

I decided to study what I don't like/believe in more than what I like/believe in and I can tell you know, a whole world of other boxes opens up once you start doing this. This is the only way to ensure you can get a glimpse at the bigger picture. Once you do this you can define your own box, jump between other boxes as you please, test them against each other etc.

If you haven't, read The Brothers Karamazov. Dostoevsky was awesome at this.

On July 10 2018 17:18 RiKD wrote: I was having a conversation with my mom and somehow anti-natalism came up and I told her it was David Benetar's position that having children is bad b/c basically there is no suffering in nothingness and surely suffering in existence. Her response was "But they are such an unbelievable joy at times." I kind of wanted to just kill the conversation so I did but that response is a perfect example of what I am talking about. Notice how she only looked at it from her perspective. It shows the self-centeredness and narcissism of parents. It also is an example of how humans tend to reduce negativity and exaggerate positivity.

What makes you think you understand what she meant or that she could express herself how she wanted.
Your box put her in the box. This is not how you grow intellectually, and you seem to care about it.

What about making life worthwhile despite suffering as the reason to live. You know, you don't appreciate things you don't earn.

On July 10 2018 23:13 nlloser60 wrote: Show nested quote + On July 10 2018 01:29 RiKD wrote: That's why I read so much damn philosophy because I can't see past my worldview. I am not in a box man. What's in the boooxxxxx? It's not me man. It's + Show Spoiler + Gweneth Paltrow's head . I am a flower open to light. If the 1% takes self-exploitation and "optimization" no thanks man. You can try. You Can try and You Should try. Gogogogogo! If you aren't in the .1% neoliberalism has you by the balls. The second part of that sentence may have been the most profound thing you have ever said but it is not true for me when I am a sovereign man of leisure. I am probably wrong but I think you are getting close to realizing that there are other boxes you don't know exist. You know, the ones you think are BS. They make life worth living at every level of your life despite the tragedy of life. Back in the day, I thought similarly and was in a similar state. Then I was lucky I think. I decided that before blaming the world and "dying" I will read about every counter idea to what I currently believe in, there is a chance I am wrong. In fact, I am sure I am wrong at some level of analysis and it is given you are wrong too. It is not easy to make the first step, though. You know, people prefer to make wars and die for their beliefs...it is really sad. I don't expect you can do it, really. I decided to study what I don't like/believe in more than what I like/believe in and I can tell you know, a whole world of other boxes opens up once you start doing this. This is the only way to ensure you can get a glimpse at the bigger picture. Once you do this you can define your own box, jump between other boxes as you please, test them against each other etc. If you haven't, read The Brothers Karamazov. Dostoevsky was awesome at this.

Your Otherness is of digital nature and I must be weary but I am weary with insomnia so why not?

I am a box dodger. I can NOT be defined by any one box.

The Brothers Karamazov is the one Dostoevsky I have not read. I love Fyodor and I will get to it at some point but I dislike the fact that he chooses the path of the meek and pious.

On July 10 2018 23:20 nlloser60 wrote: Show nested quote + On July 10 2018 17:18 RiKD wrote: I was having a conversation with my mom and somehow anti-natalism came up and I told her it was David Benetar's position that having children is bad b/c basically there is no suffering in nothingness and surely suffering in existence. Her response was "But they are such an unbelievable joy at times." I kind of wanted to just kill the conversation so I did but that response is a perfect example of what I am talking about. Notice how she only looked at it from her perspective. It shows the self-centeredness and narcissism of parents. It also is an example of how humans tend to reduce negativity and exaggerate positivity. What makes you think you understand what she meant or that she could express herself how she wanted. Your box put her in the box. This is not how you grow intellectually, and you seem to care about it. What about making life worthwhile despite suffering as the reason to live. You know, you don't appreciate things you don't earn.

Because this has been her position my entire life. She always talks about how much the joy of having children can overwhelm the suffering and never actually takes into account my position. Number one that her position doesn't take into account my position. She doesn't even say that my joy could overcome my suffering but that her joy can. I don't believe that joy does in fact overcome suffering but even if it did nothingness lacks suffering. They had me without my consent. I am born into existence and I am bound to the USA but I did not sign any contracts. I had no say. Despite consensus I am unlucky in this regard. Lucky compared to a child born in the Congo with out legs but unlucky compared to the xfinite children that dwell unborn in nothingness. The "greatness" of having children is an immortality project and a repression of death. It's extremely selfish and delusional. Suicide is bad so I carry on. My life is not so bad in that I would not currently consider the badness of suicide. I have been doing a good job of avoiding the narcissistic hole of depression. There is the opportunity of love, the opportunity of atopos, the opportunity of the Other. These things capable of jolting one to a new ardor. However, never existing is different from ceasing to exist. The former is neutral while the ladder is bad. Immortality is bad. Getting old is bad. What would be good? 500 years of good health? 1,000? 10,000? What is with this obsession of good health? Getting sick and dying is bad. But, so is being undead. Not in the sense of being ALIVE. Not in the sense of seeing "The Heaviest Matter of the Universe" by Gojira LIVE in Atlanta, GA but undead. Not alive enough to be alive. Not dead enough to be dead. Undeadness. Working 60 hours a week and then dwelling in the world of the smooth and pornographic. I crave the rough and erotic. Der Himmel über Berlin. The woman I loved named M_________. Buenos Aires, Argentina. Berlin, Germany. A man must live where he is most suited. My German is better than my Spanish is better than my French. My English trumps all. Should that hold me back? What's realistic? Does it even matter what's realistic?

You are not a box dodger, you say exactly what box you are in. There is a lot of people in your box. You are not there yet, but some even go a couple of boxes deeper and commit mass murders. Read their notes.

Nothingness lacks everything, I understand it is the laziest way and a way for cowards, it is easy and leaves you with nothing. It would bring people with higher values to lower values. There would be no point in bettering the world, in any creative action, there would be no point in life. It is a very practical solution and I understand it. Let's drop a few nuclear bombs on humanity.

Your mother made a bet for life, that is courage and having children is the exact opposite of being selfish. The study is quite clear on this. People without children are happier.
The unfortunate thing is that she lost her bet. You did not understand her.

I am done here until you open up a few more boxes. I suspected you have not read The Brothers Karamazov. You also box Dostoevsky and claim something really silly. I would say nothingness path is of the meek and pious by definition as I explained earlier.

Think about it,
Is it not a little bit narrow-minded to box him with one sentence, despite the fact you have not read his most important book and despite the fact that even Nietzche said that Dostoevsky was the only thinker he had something to learn from.
I mean, I am not really surprised by your comment. Hardly anyone can escape their box and not box others into another box.

I will not reply anymore. There is no point because you lack essential knowledge. That is a huge hole and it cannot be fixed here. You have to fix it before moving onto another level.

On July 11 2018 15:17 nlloser60 wrote: You are not a box dodger, you say exactly what box you are in. There is a lot of people in your box. You are not there yet, but some even go a couple of boxes deeper and commit mass murders. Read their notes.

I never much liked this box metaphor anyway. I don't think I'll mind that you are done posting. Do you like Jordan B. Peterson? You aren't as bad as him but you are getting close.

Nothingness lacks everything, I understand it is the laziest way and a way for cowards, it is easy and leaves you with nothing. It would bring people with higher values to lower values. There would be no point in bettering the world, in any creative action, there would be no point in life. It is a very practical solution and I understand it. Let's drop a few nuclear bombs on humanity.

I think a lot of people feel uncomfortable about nothingness. And I said I was not for suicide unless the person was in a lot of pain and illness. Debilitating cancer would be an example. There is no point to life. We are here. We make our narratives. We make our meanings many times shrouded in illusion. Murdering people with nuclear bombs is obviously bad. Virtually no one is actually a nihilist. The nationalist or the terrorist is more likely to drop bombs. Many times they are one in the same.

Your mother made a bet for life, that is courage and having children is the exact opposite of being selfish. The study is quite clear on this. People without children are happier. The unfortunate thing is that she lost her bet. You did not understand her.

I L L U S I O N

You actually think people can self-report accurately on having a child or that any study regarding having children is worthwhile? AGAIN, you are missing the point. What about the child?

I guess you didn't read anything about myself not granting any consent. I was a neutrally neutral nothing in nothingness before they were drunk in love down in the Bahamas one summer vacation. There was no consultation. No thought. Only thoughts of themselves and their pleasures. It's more compulsion than courage. Taking care of a child is the opposite of selfishness but having a child is the epitome of selfishness.

I am done here until you open up a few more boxes. I suspected you have not read The Brothers Karamazov. You also box him and claim something really silly. I would say nothingness path is of the meek and pious by definition as I explained earlier.

You have to stop with these box metaphors. I thought my Se7en joke might curtail it but no it has gotten worse. Dostoevsky became a devout Russian Orthodox. That is meek and pious. I don't consider suicide a meek act and I don't consider it pious whatsoever. I can't choose to have never been born. If I could perhaps that act would be meek but I don't think it is the best word for it and it certainly wouldn't be pious.

Think about it, Is it not a little bit narrow-minded to box him with one sentence, despite the fact you have not read his most important book and despite the fact that even Nietzche said that Dostoevsky was the only thinker he had something to learn from? I mean, I am not really surprised by your comment. Hardly anyone can escape their box and not box others into another box.

Dostoevsky was a master psychologist, playwright, thriller, hilarious and has written some of the most important novels in existence. I simply said I dislike that he turned to Christianity. That's what ended up being his solution and I don't agree with it and it saddens me in a way because I love Dostoevsky. It's like seeing one of my favorite people end up in a cult.

I will not reply anymore. There is no point because you lack essential knowledge. That is a huge hole and it cannot be fixed here. You have to fix it before moving onto another level.

Hahaha, you may actually be right that Brothers Karamezov is a missing puzzle piece for a level up. I'm on other puzzle pieces right now though. Suit yourself.

On July 11 2018 16:24 RiKD wrote: I L L U S I O N You actually think people can self-report accurately on having a child or that any study regarding having children is worthwhile? AGAIN, you are missing the point. What about the child? I guess you didn't read anything about myself not granting any consent. I was a neutrally neutral nothing in nothingness before they were drunk in love down in the Bahamas one summer vacation. There was no consultation. No thought. Only thoughts of themselves and their pleasures. It's more compulsion than courage. Taking care of a child is the opposite of selfishness but having a child is the epitome of selfishness.

I am just replying to this comment because you made a good point, if you were an unwanted child, it is true, you are right. Thanks for expanding my knowledge!

Majority of women want to have children, though, and that is what I assumed with your mother. The question is just when. So most women bet on life, bet that life is better than nothingness and that their children will appreciate it someday, despite all the suffering, and forgive them the lack of consent. It is not the epitome of selfishness, quite the opposite. The only epitome of selfishness is just taking pleasure out of sex.

If your mum did not want to have you, she should not have conceived you. It is a good solution and everyone is happy afterwards. Nothingness people die and do not leave offspring and that is fine. If life does not matter according to them, it is a tragedy if they create it and I agree with you on that. It is better for them to extinct. That leaves the other spectrum alive and everyone should be happy.

It is also logical to take the easier road, turn into nothingness, die and leave nothingness. It much harder to bet on life because it is not easy for the rest of your life and you are not guaranteed to win and likely to fail. People who appreciate life continue to produce life and hope their children will appreciate it. It is hard to make it happen, but good things are hard and should be hard so that people who suck do not get the same results and devalue worthwhile things, especially those bordering on a miracle (all other things being equal).

I don't think I was an unwanted child. The compulsion, the assumed pleasure (in the moment and having a child as culture dictates), and the selfishness are still profound.

This "bet" you speak of is wildly selfish and irresponsible.

If someone is alive then life matters to them. Unless they are so deep in a hole of depression then life might not matter to these people. There is no case in which everyone will be happy.

It's not as simple as ease and difficulty. I am here alive typing: I appreciate life. I have spent a lot of time in my life contemplating the good life. Child birth is a vicious cycle. False immortality-project after false immortality project all in the name of narcissism, vanity, and the repression of death. I don't even care to go into the effects on our Earth and future generations. Having a child is not difficult. By your statistics that you seem to love people do it all the time so it must be rather easy. (It is rather easy).

Anyways, I'd rather discuss Eros which is somewhat related.

Inspiration, creative, sexual yearning, love, and/or desire. Sexual drive, libido.

I think I am missing something here. Explain it to me please, because I am trying to understand you .


1) What is more selfish, having sex and not getting pregnant or having sex and getting pregnant?
2) assumed pleasure - in the moment. Contraception is widely spread these days.
3) assumed pleasure - as culture dictates. Is it really a culture or a biology of women? Was there "thought" a couple of millions of years ago?
4) having a child is not difficult in general, but not having a child, nowadays, is not difficult either.

1.) Having sex and getting pregnant
2.) Yes, of course I am heavily pro contraceptives.
3.) I think a lot of women get pregnant because that is what they think will make them happy or think that it is their duty or not even think and just pop children out. A child is an object of the parent's vanity and narcissism. Much of society and culture pushes them in the direction of having kids. I mean it's all sides. Traditions, family, popular culture. It's in capitalism's best interests as well. The more consumers and consumption the "better."

Many women are capable of having kids that doesn't mean they should. What's wrong with adopting a child?

I am not the best at anthropology from a long, long time ago. I think people probably enjoyed unsafe sex and women got pregnant whether that was rape, fuck buddy situations, or loving partnerships.

4.) I would agree

i remember Thracian culture roughly 2500 years ago celebrated when ppl died and mourned when they were born; reason being was that death was an end to suffering and being born into this world meant tthey will have to endure a lot of suffering. Life probably sucked in Thrace during that time though.

Eros shows the way. Philosophy is the translation of eros into logos. Heidegger follows Plato's theory of eros when he remarks that the beat of the god's wing touches him as soon as he makes a substantial step in his thinking and ventures onto untrodden paths.

Eros is called philosophos, the "friend of wisdom," in Plato. The philosopher is a friend, a lover. Here, the lover is not an outward personality – an empirical circumstance – but "a presence that is intrinsic to thought, a condition of possibility of thought itself, a living category, a transcendental lived reality." Thinking, in the strong sense, begins with eros. To be able to think, one must first have been a friend, a lover. Without eros thinking loses all vitality and turmoil, and becomes repetitive and reactive. Eros infuses thinking with desire for the atopic Other.

Byung-Chul Han, The Agony of Eros

On July 12 2018 02:58 Stroggoz wrote: i remember Thracian culture roughly 2500 years ago celebrated when ppl died and mourned when they were born; reason being was that death was an end to suffering and being born into this world meant tthey will have to endure a lot of suffering. Life probably sucked in Thrace during that time though.

Thrace was ahead of the curve! Although my position would be that conception is bad, birth is good, death is bad. Once that pile of goo becomes a sentient little critter we have to do everything in our power to give it the good life. Death is bad in that it annihilates. If someone has a really hopeless, and debilitating illness suicide and death become acceptable. Digging a deeper and deeper hole of (narcissistic) depression is very sad and a sign of the culture but I do believe there are ways out.

I don't know anything about Thrace (besides what was written above) but I always wonder how life is in some of these other societies. What about the Greece of Socrates, Plato and Aristotle?

Is our current society really the best we've seen? It can't be, right?

What about the small anarchist collectivist tribes of yesteryear? That might hit the sweet spot.

Facebook, iPhones, twitter, and even me continuously writing in these blogs are not the step in the right direction. Depression and anxiety abound. Neoliberalism is our new dictator and barely no one even knows it.

I am compelled to post once again. The more I type the more that gets unveiled and the more transparent I become. There is no good reason for this. There is no real cult value to my blogs. There is also no real exhibition. I am not selling anything. I am in some ways anonymous but not really. My blogs are unnecessary. I think there is more meaning here than a selfie but it is in the same family. I have to find other stuff to do with my time. Sometimes I don't feel like reading ALL day.