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tutz Brasil. Aug 24 2009 14:15. Posts 2140

First I wanna say I'm brazillian so english isn't even my second language so I'm sorry if I make some grammar mistakes on this post. I was playing live $1/2 at some illegal place here in brazil (cash games are illegal here, only tournaments are legal), and all players at my table were a bunch of donkey/tards/drunks/riches. I know i'm not the best player but I was totally sure I was the only player at the table who even knew how to play the game decently... I made the mistake of going to the place with a pokerstars jacket, so at the moment I arrived one of the drunk guys said out loud: "ohhh a pro a the table, what a honor...". I just smiled nicely I took my place at the table with $200, and everybody else was playing already very deeper with at least $400. The table was absolutly insane, paying $20 with Ax(THE NUTS!!) to see a flop was absolutly normal at the table and a flop with less than 4 players was very rare. As the game goes on they started realizing that I was very quiet and not playing much hands and at the moment I decided to play and hand or put a raise to try to reduce the field at the flop they all started trashing me like: "heeey, carefuulll, he is a poker staaarrr hahahahahahahaha"... and as the game goes on I was actualy winning EVERY hand I decided to play, but never showing down any of them. At a moment I had almost 500$ and had never showed one hand... Then this hand is delt to me utg: AJo. I limped cause I was absolutly sure somebody was gonna raise and I could just flat to see the flop. A guy in mp raise $15 a 3 donks decided to call, and so did I. The flop comes A35(raibow), the sb checks and I bet $65, the pf raiser insta-shoves like $800 everybody folds and I thought for a while and said: "I have a hand but w/e, I'm not gonna gamble this" so I folded and showed the hand. Everybody at the table was like "WTF, HE SO STUPID HE HAS TOP PAIR AND IS FOLDING, HAHAHAHA"... The guy that won the hand start laughing and said "hahahaha, the kid cant take the pressure, hahahahaha im gonna be a pokerstarrrr, and then he mucked his hand." I thought: "well... that its gonna give a greeat bluff oportunity"... I was at the button and the same guy raised $20, I decided to reraise him $85, everybody else folded and he flatted, the flop comes Qxx, he overbets $200 and I shoved for $450 more, he thought for a while and said: "u have aces... gonna give u the respect stupid kid"... and then showed a queen. I showed K4 for a total bluff and he was like INSAAAANEEEEEE. He stands up imeadiatly and started calling me all names u can imagine... I never said a word, just waited until he calm down and kept playing. After that EVERYBODY started trashing me a loooot... I just couldnt stay there anymore so I said that it was my last orbit. And the last hand goes like that: 22 delt to me utg. I call and the insane guy makes $30 in mp, the bb calls and I call too. The flop: J22. I was like LOOOOOLLLLLLLLL inside my head. I cheack, then I stand up and say "time to go...", the insane guy checks and the bb checks too. the turn is a blank and I check again, the insane guy makes $80, the bb fold and I say: "hm... ok I call". The river is another blank and I checked, the insane guy look me up and says "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE GIVE MY MONEY U RETARD, I'M ALL IN", I said: "cmom, what u have there? my hand is good..." and then he said "I HAVE THE NUTS KID, JUST GO HOME TO UR MOMMY", and then I said "I call, this is the nuts am i wrong?". He looked at my hand and the whole table was shocked to see it and the guy jumps out in the table to take me but everybody stops him and put him down... I took my chips very fast and cashed out... Profit: $1400, Fun: priceless.

:D
ps: $1=~R$2(brazillian money)

0 votes

thumbz555 United States. Aug 24 2009 14:32. Posts 3281

Dude very sick story! Stay alive long enough to tell another one!

I click buttons.

blackjacki2 United States. Aug 24 2009 14:49. Posts 2582

rofl nice

blackjacki2 United States. Aug 24 2009 15:22. Posts 2582

and yeah, never wear FPP clothing to a poker room

Nadeem Belgium. Aug 24 2009 15:26. Posts 448

And dont get killed

Dream as if you will live forever. Live as if you will die tomorrow

asdf2000 United States. Aug 24 2009 20:15. Posts 7708

I would actually be willing to read this if it had some semblance of formatting.

Obviously other people don't care, and it sounds like it must be a good story, but I'm just saying. In case you care.

Grindin so hard, Im smashin pussies left and right.

tutz Brasil. Aug 24 2009 21:11. Posts 2140

I don't

salutary Australia. Sep 05 2009 02:22. Posts 362

hahaha 2222 sounds like a scene from casino royale

ConquistadoR Germany. Sep 05 2009 09:12. Posts 1952

hahaha nice story indeed

oh and dont wear FPP clothes, its better to let other ppl think you know nothing about the game :D