First day of getting serious

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AgentIce . Aug 01 2009 06:30. Posts 28

So I have been slowly getting my discipline back and playing more poker, but I have been wasting too much time. So my plan with this blog is to make public my efforts, both good and bad, in order to hopefully motivate me more so I can write something good.

Today I had planned to play, but I got sidetracked when going out with my girlfriend to do some shopping and to go to her bank to get her half of the rent. Afterwards we were planning on going swimming. Because I knew I wouldn't play for a while I smoked some weed, a bad idea and it really didn't do much for me. I had the idea of looking at goodwill for cheap furniture, something I could have said no to and started working, and just an excuse to not play. Looking back its sad how easily I talk myself out of working. It started getting so late I did what I usually do and thought "well its so late, why not take the day off, it won't matter much.". I also said I wanted to buy more weed because the old weed was so crappy and unfulfilling. I guess its true, but more bullshit, I should have just decided to work in the first place. I shouldn't have smoked the crappy weed at all actually. I told jessica I worked the past 5 days, which is true, but I wasn't doing as many hours as I should have. Some of the days I only did like 1.5 hours. Eventually we came back to the apartments and swam, then went to walmart to get some stuff for dinner, then watched some tv. So I think basically I really need to focus on not making excuses and sticking to my plan. Having to write out and be honest with myself about how much I avoid working in a public blog like this will hopefully motivate me.