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Cutsss  France. Aug 12 2007 17:09. Posts 1198 | | |
It has been a while since I havent posted some real content in this blog. It took me a while to take responsability for everything that happened just before, and after the wsop (and even at the wsop). I'll tell now what really happened since march/april. I'm not drunk or making a goodbye post, just trying to make things clear so I can feel better and can start playing poker again.
So to explain quick what happened, in january/february/march I won alot of money and rolled myself for 10/20. In april I ran really bad. I was stuck alot, and one night, after playing for more than 5 hours on 6 tables, I was heads up on all the 6 tables against the same guy. LoisLane, but you also know this guy as Dracospinner. The game was really deep, I think it was 300bb deep on the smallest table, and 700bb deep on the biggest one. All of this at 10/20. We played for almost 3 hours, I was up 30k at a point but in the end, I was stuck 55k. He ran really good, he outplayed me and got lucky at some times, I also tilted in some huge pots.
After this session my overall downswing reached his low point of -110k. It took me all the time before leaving las vegas to win it back. The day before leaving for Vegas, I saw Bluescouse/Charlatan/SupaGrass/88%Concentration, sitting alone on a 50/100nl table. He's known for beeing an action freak, degen, and bad bad pla<x>yer. I asked around and two people agreed on buyin a piece of me. Nazgul took 50% of my action and Tall/Teldren took a small percentage (up to 5k).
I lost 60k. I played a mix of good and bad, but in the end he won the money.
I left for vegas, a bit pissed, especially for Nazgul, he trusted me and I lost. I still feel really bad for this.
In vegas I played:
- wsop 5k sh
- wsop main event
- 2600$ tourney at the venetian
- 1070$ tourney at the venetian.
Overall my play was poor, at times I played really well, but never long enough, I took some bad beats but also put some even worse. My behavior was often unacceptable, I was always semi tilted, arrogant, and bad.
I came back in France on July, 18th. Since that date I've not been winning, and never been playing good poker for more than one day. Some sessions Im playing really well, and I feel like I'm a genius. And the next session If I lose a single coinflip, thats over, im going to drop 10 buyins like a donkey. I can't grind anymore, I can't play solid for a while anymore, I always blame bad luck and stupid opponents for losing while it's actually 100% my fault if I'm down and not able to win anymore.
Also during that whole time, I've been arrogant with alot of people, acting like i'm a poker god.
Even worse, I'm jealous when my friends, MY REAL (poker) FRIENDS, win at poker.
I've also been whining and blaming why too much the variance while I'm actually lying about how the hands happened just to look like I'm running bad and find people to tell me I'm good and Im unlucky.
The truth is that i'm bad, and that im a pathetic fake pro.
I want to apologize to everyone for all that shit.
I'm going to try to be good again, because I've clearly been playing bad poker for a long period of time, and i know most of my leaks, so if I really got balls, it'll take some time and some hard work, but i'll be good again.
Regards, Ludovic
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Nice post Ludo, good luck buddy |
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| Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us and as we let our own lights shine we unconsciously give other people permision to do the same | |
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iop Sweden. Aug 12 2007 17:28. Posts 4951 | | |
Nice posts, I wish you the best of luck!
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| Milkman lol i didnt spend half a thousand on a phone so i could play it cool and be all stealth | |
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ain't easy to admit your own mistakes. good that you managed to do it. good luck with rebuilding and i'm sure will see you bulldozin again very soon |
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| rivered for my fucking bankroll - NeillyJQ | |
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twotimesopt United States. Aug 12 2007 17:34. Posts 2393 | | |
good luck sir
you are obv. a talented player, i'm sure you can do it.
cheers |
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| quit tryin to be a repo man - definitely -EV and negative expectancy - AvidGambler | |
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TheTrees United States. Aug 12 2007 17:39. Posts 1592 | | |
good luck, man. Just be grateful for all that poker has done for you. You'll be back at the top in no time. |
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straate Argentina. Aug 12 2007 17:40. Posts 2837 | | |
you can get back there
this is kinda what happened to me at the end of january when i lost 100k in a week...had like 3 days of sick sick beats and lost like 60k or so then just tilted like crazy. took forever to get my confidence back and i was always playing tilted or when playing bad...wasnt interested in poker, was only interested int he $$ and how much i could make. took a couple months off and worked on fixing my tilt problem. took months but finally im over it and have way more self control than i ever had.
you'll get through this man, just be patient. take a vacation and a break from poker for at LEAST a couple weeks. |
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| silverfox971: if this was a live game i would spit on you | Last edit: 12/08/2007 17:48 |
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NutCracker Papua New Guinea. Aug 12 2007 17:51. Posts 163 | | |
Very reflective post, impressive. Good luck in the future, you will be back soon. |
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From one pretty bad law student to another: You'll make it, and when you've done it you'll be better then ever. |
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nicksson Sweden. Aug 12 2007 18:22. Posts 4662 | | | |
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wobbly_au Australia. Aug 12 2007 18:28. Posts 6540 | | |
sounds like u need a vacation
EDIT: mad respect for admitting your tilt / mistakes and apologizing. Im sure your friends will forgive you =D |
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| The Last Laugh. | Last edit: 12/08/2007 18:30 |
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Sheitan Canada. Aug 12 2007 18:44. Posts 4217 | | |
-Autocriticism is the greatest of all virtues for champs and you're definitly one, maybe you just needed to do your mea culpa to get back on track, i wish you success in rebuilding your confidence and your A game. |
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| Odds are exactly 50%, either happens or it doesnt | |
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sounds like you have made a good start. best of luck. |
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I think this happens to everyone at some point in their career, takes discipline to address the problem and make the changes, gl |
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XeliN United Kingdom. Aug 12 2007 19:16. Posts 2365 | | |
if you can address this and learn control and really focus on getting your play back to the standard you want it to be then view this as a challenge and possibly in the long run a good obstacle that you will learn and develop from. GL to you sir |
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| Steal City: if u want to get good at sex u need to read books. Its just like poker, u need to read | |
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Stygg Sweden. Aug 12 2007 20:02. Posts 2347 | | |
I also think this happens to everyone at some point. running bad and then as a result running worse by tilting
but you're handling it in the right way. Very good post, self-reflective and honest. you seem like a talented player, I'm sure you'll get back on the horse |
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| | Last edit: 12/08/2007 20:03 |
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TimDawg United States. Aug 12 2007 20:22. Posts 10197 | | |
| | On August 12 2007 16:34 twotimesopt wrote:
good luck sir
you are obv. a talented player, i'm sure you can do it.
cheers |
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| online bob is actually a pretty smart person, not at all like the creepy fucker that sits in the sofa telling me he does nasty shit to me when im asleep - pinball | |
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ggplz Sweden. Aug 13 2007 02:29. Posts 16784 | | | |
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| if poker is dangerous to them i would rank sports betting as a Kodiak grizzly bear who smells blood after you just threw a javelin into his cub - RaiNKhAN | |
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I symphazize on a lot of things you said, and find that I also perform a lot like this when im not doing well.
I think you are very brave for writing this blog, and i have a new respect for you, for whatever that means. |
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