i'm a retard

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SneakrFreakr United Kingdom. Apr 05 2007 19:33. Posts 2534

Yeah that's true. I played a decent session on party 6max today and won $350. I didn't play very well but sucked out once or twice. In the evening I felt like playing some HU on FTP. First hour went ok, and I broke even after running quite bad. Then I played against a guy that was calling me with everything, i.e. 1 overcard on flop and turn, hitting the river or with gutshot on flop and turn to hit his str8 on the river etc. He put me on tilt and I blew like 2 buyins. Ended up losing $370 during this headsup session. I'm not angry about the bad beats. I'm angry on myself. First of all I tilted which should never ever happen and what's more I shouldn't have played in the first place as it was already late and I was kinda tired and I'm still sick so that wasn't a good combination.

I've got no discipline. Just 2 days ago I wrote that from now on I'm going to stay 100% focused, always play my A game, never tilt, not mess around and I failed again. I love poker and I want to be a good player but my discipline blows. Also my roll dropped from 6k to 4,3k due to some cashouts and spewing money around. I need to tighten up my ass and finally stop acting like a retard. This is probably the last chance I'm giving to myself. Otherwise I'd better cashout my roll and drink till I run out of money lol.

From now on I'm getting 100% serious about the game and I'm not going to play anything except for 6max nl100. When I get to 6k and I'll feel that I'm finally playing good I might take a 5buyin shot on nl200. I'm going to start every day with either watching a video on CR or browsing forums, posting hand histories, analyzing my game in PT, talking poker with others on msn and this kind of stuff. I'm going to 4table only, 100% focused, MSN switched off, no internet explorer, simply nothing - just poker. I want to play 1,5k-2k hands everyday, analyzing my play on a daily basis and hopefully it will work. I know I said almost exactly the same a few days ago but as I said this is the last shot I'm giving to myself. I know I can do it, I just need to get everything together and put 100% effort to succeed. That's it for now and wish me luck guys. Hopefully in 2 months I'll be laughing at myself that I struggled for such a long time at nl100 and that I was such a donkish retard, holla!