Booyakasha - used to express triumph, normally if trying to appear "gangsta" ...
So, I remember listening to a lot of Caribou's new album at the time and Little Dragon when I was placed in an office for rehab at the L.M.N.C. (Large Multi-National Corporation) that I sold my labor to in return for a (slave) wage. They gave me an absent corner office of one of the Top Dawgs that had cancer and was going to die. It was nice but I felt uncomfortable. My job was to audit every facet of the plant and write safety reports for 8 hours a day. I eventually let an IT guy use the office who resented me for being my father's son. I found an unused desk in a somewhat decrepit section of the cubicle area surrounded by cold concrete, a stack of forgotten chairs and a paper shredder that people would constantly use and interrupt me. I don't know which was worse. Eventually, after days and days and days of scraping the ice off of my car and going in to this dismal situation I realized this wasn't for me. None of it. Don't get me wrong, I continued to show up so they would continue to pay me my Long-Term Disability but I would vomit a little bit every time we received a new message from our handsome but decidedly undead C.E.O. The messages so obvious and banal to inspire us so he could make $20 million bonuses.
This is the part of the blog where I was going to brag about making prophetic predictions at a dinner with upper management that asked my opinions of the state of things out East at the time that would have saved the company $20+ million dollars (not necessarily expected value but how it actually turned out). Oh, I just did brag about making prophetic predictions at a dinner with upper management that asked my opinions of the state of things out East at the time that would have saved the company $20+ million dollars (not necessarily expected value but how it actually turned out).
It was on my mind because I suggested they stop selling product to a large integrated steel mill on the East coast of the U.S.A. that to this particular emotionally detached observer was doomed and forever doomed. They continued doing business with them until the mill shut down permanently and the L.M.N.C. I worked for ended up getting burned for $15 million in unpaid consignment. It was a terribly sad story. It bankrupted all the local businesses and a lot of people were out of work in an already depressed part of the country.
It comes to mind because that mill in East Coast, U.S.A. was 1 large blast furnace and 1 large caster. Techint in Venezuela was 6 casters which means it was likely 1 or 2 large blast furnaces and a handful of electric arc furnaces or 1 or 2 large electric arc furnaces. Chavez burned the L.M.N.C. I worked for for a likely $50+ million in unpaid consignment. That is just one company not to mention the effect it would have on local economy. In the world I live in if someone welches on bets to the wrong people they start sending large, trained men to start breaking fingers and escalate the violence as deemed necessary. Now, we can discuss whether that is right or wrong but the fact is that it is effective. Maybe it was my upbringing in poker and life that welching on bets is not acceptable. I think there was a crazy ambulance/ER bill when I was mentally ill that I never paid due to being broke and I told a predatory gym to get fucked. I think that is the grey area. What is predatory and what is not? Many people will look to exploit as much as they can get away with. Maybe every human being to an extent.
What is my point? I am not sure. I am just thinking. The U.S.A. and the wealthy elite are similar to bookies and gangsters who have access to large men well versed in violence. They also have access to clever demons well versed in "Public Relations" and Manufacturing Consent. So, if someone isn't behaving how they want them to behave they discreetly break some fingers and see what happens. It may turn into a meeting with a baseball bat. Eventually they drop the Atomic Bomb but not literally an Atomic Bomb because that is mutually assured destruction these days. They are much more devious.
I went to the Dentist yesterday. It always weirds me out because everyone in there is a tall, blonde, beautiful woman. I get along with the hygienist and she does a good job so I keep going but it's just weird. The Queen Bee Blondie Dentist comes in at the end and expects me to be more excited about my teeth being clean. She probably won a Miss America pageant at some point in her life and has a smile so perfect it is difficult to look at similarly to the sun. Her and her husband who is a Medical Doctor and her male clone came to the pizza shop once and were rather difficult and demanding. Then in the appointment she just wanted to talk about craft beer and her children and I was just like you got the wrong guy. As if I could just find some new, interesting craft beers and have a couple after work to relax and receive transcendental love from my angelic children and everything would be ok. The American Dream. I shouldn't judge though. I don't truly know her and it's not her fault.
So, where does this leave me? I was reflecting back on those days with the L.M.N.C. I am so happy to be out of that situation. But, I am still a wage slave chained to one of the richest and most powerful Masters on the Planet Earth. I still need to eat food, maintain my Automobile including consistently feeding it Petrol Gasoline, dole out money to various forms of insurance, and struggle to pay medical bills. There are so many social injustices across the world that it is hard to know where to even begin. I once spent much of a weekend with an AA Elder in the forests of Northern PA camping. He wasn't a caricature AA Elder in that he wasn't a "Big Book Thumper." He would host a weekly reading group of The Perennial Psychology of the Bhagavad Gita. Anyways, when we were saying our goodbyes he got really serious and intense for a moment and looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Rich, if i have one suggestion for you it is this: Shine a light on your corner before attempting to shine a light on the world." He was also a big proponent of not seeking the non-physical in the material world but rather chinking away the icy shell covering of our true "selves" through authenticity, honesty, genuineness and allowing self-esteem to blossom organically.
My therapist said I should in part take on the spirit of an unconditioned child. ¡¡¡L'esprit de l'enfant sauvage!!!
My dad says I should continue going to work and earning a paycheck.
A friend and I went to a massive festival in Argentina and saw LCD Soundsystem. We got so unbelievably high. He would always try and get me Blazard. Blazard is term I coined in college as a mix between blazed and the phenomena of Blazars in the universe (aren't I so clever). Anyways, he would always try and get me blazard and fuck with me. At the concert he started freaking out that the security guards saw us and were coming to get us. I was adamant that this was all bullshit and I am trying to enjoy the concert and we'll be ok. Then I notice that there were security guards looking directly at us and headed our way. My friend threw the lit joint as far as he could as discreetly as possible. They walked right by us examining us and then moved along. It added to the high. The concert was phenomenal.
I can't tell if my recent posting across this site is brilliant or insufferable. I was very unruly and agitated at work today. I just used it to fuel my achievement-subject project. A manic, focused achievement-subject is a very good worker bee. I was given an $8 bonus today for my recent efforts at work... I feel like the achievement-subject is carrying over into this whole activism project or vice versa and it feels like I am close to a breakthrough but that it could all be a mirage. When talking about my aspirations my therapist asked if I saw a pattern. I didn't. She said I was going after monsters. Monsters that would likely not see significant change in my lifetime. But, that my unrecognized, troubled toiling was probably on the right track. I am having thoughts again that Spotify, YouTube, and Google are trying to communicate something to me. I have been through all of this before. The only clear messages seem to be found in Mexie's reading list and her favorite leftists on YouTube. There are surely some pitfalls included in that messaging tree but it seems to be a good education for now. Mania is my super power but has the potential for my largest discomforts experienced in life so far. There is rarely comfort in mania. I had a Native American friend that said in his tribe that they don't diagnose or medicate "Bipolar Disorder." They see it as a gift to nurture and cultivate for the betterment of the tribe. He invited me to some pow wows. I never went. I regret that. A part of me is so tired but another part of me feels like I could go forever and do anything I put my mind to. I'm listening to "Forever" by Drake, Kanye West, Lil' Wayne, and Eminem for fuck's sake. That is not my path... no, no, no. Whatever. I need to get some Lithium into my blood stream, get as much sleep as I can, avoid energy drinks (and substances), and survive basically. Call my psychiatrist or the ER if shit is getting out of control. It is one of my biggest fantasies to be able to control my mania. I had a crazy thought that my therapist was trying to groom me as the Martin Luther King, Jr. for the anti-neoliberal capitalism effort but that's not my thing. I am a good orator but not inclined to that sort of thing. I much prefer quiet study, contemplative lingering, discourse in a 1 on 1 setting or in small groups, and sitting behind a computer screen writing.
I have found myself in a food stealing ring at work. That is a rather dramatic way to put it. The rule is that any unsellable goods need to be discarded as waste but anything still safely edible I 100% give to my comrades. The other day a woman at the sushi bar gave me a bunch of sushi. I ended up giving all of it to my comrades. Then she gave me a particular alluring batch of sushi that would satiate me on my dinner break so I hid it and didn't tell anyone. I felt a rather negative pang as I was sneaking around the kitchen with this batch of sushi attempting to get to the break room unnoticed.
Later that night, some drunk guys came in after we were closed. They asked me how much the pizza was. I told them, "2 for $7. "7 for $2? HAHAHA" Then I more or less told him to get fucked and that I would rather give food to hungry homeless people then negotiate petty deals with drunken assholes. We discussed how the unsold pizza gets donated to homeless shelters and I even did some salesmanship and explained how most of the other grocery stores just throw the food away and lock the dumpsters. Then, the guy's friend mentioned that Aldi at x blvd. is known to throw away up to 200 lbs. of edible ground beef and not lock the dumpster. I am skeptical of the accuracy of that claim but it is not unreasonable. It is common practice for grocery stores to discard food before their sell by date as it is highly undesirable for customers to encounter past due products. Then, I watched a video on freeganism. I got the idea to start scoping out Aldi's dumpster, procure as much edible ground beef as I could, call one of my friends with a pick up truck, take my dad's giant, state of the art grill to a nearby homeless community and have a cookout. I love cookouts and cooking burgers. Incidentally, one of my friends here has a pick up truck and is one of the best burger cooks in the city.
I want to talk more about freeganism, seed saving, and sustainable organic farming but I am already late for work. Ciao.
United States. Jan 30 2019 19:35. Posts 8520
