More for my own good. Did some math and wanted to make up charts and store it....thought i'd share...based most of it on info i got from everyone...thanks to all who helped....
so i played 2/5 live for the first time at the local casino after getting piss drunk/high at my friend's 21st bday party. got really lucky like set oversetting, hitting all my draws on the turn, and playing against players who limp behind AA religiously and think that bottom two pair is the nuts regardless of board texture. god i swear the game ran just like the home games i used to play with my friends back in high school.
the inebriation wore off after a while but my luck didn't, so i played all night and skipped my morning classes to play deepstacked with the megafish.
i'm going to korea over the summer so i figured i need to build up a decent online roll to live off of but instead tilt-cashed out my entire roll. i have ~200 left from winning a sat to the sunday mil, but i'm not grinding that shit up (tried to, but couldn't really maintain focus). i'll probably deposit some money on FTP and play 100NL within the next few weeks.
gl everyone.
edit: oh i forgot about the runner runner quad nines vs. a shorty's aces all in on a T high flop.
now grinding nl25 again. but honestly, nl50 is a whole different game, it feels like people 3 bet a whole lot lighter, so i'm thinking of either nitting up more or just playing lighter as well. I don't know
anyways, my first 2 hands in nl 25 went like this:
KK vs AA
AK vs AQ vs AT (all in pf) losing to AQ.
1.) ruptured my biceps and cant do MMA for the next 4 weeks
2.) Poker goes shit and i lost all my winnings for the month by running bad and playing medicore last 3 dayz
3.) Failed an University test
4.) Havent had any fun in a while
>_<
fu this shit
Well after recent Nl100 HU bad session where i lost 420$ i decided to grind out lowstakes
unfortunately i run apeshit on FTP
-130$
My profits for this month are close to zero again.
fuck this
Sup Dawgs :D
Perheps you maybe saw i wrote about the Pokernews Cup ( Alpine tourney )
i won #1 place ina restricted freeroll to that event..
im really excited since its my first live tourney ever..
on top i received 1800$ to my Bankroll , that's serious for me..
so now im rolled for 100NL , though i definately want to be able to beat NL50 100% of the time ( Long Run )
so after 2 months of playing poker i managed to Rake about 2780$ which is alot of money for me , and im feeling this poker thingi can be more than just a semi-work / hobby for me
Also , i get to Ski + take a helicopter ride .. how sick is that ? :D
my br is $1516 right now!?!?! I've played 18k hands or so total and unlocked $180 of my bonus
Cake is like 2-3 limits easier than stars/ftp and im running sorta good i guess but if EV graphs worked or if i even cared about them im pretty sure im at max 1-2 buyins above expectation.
I actually lost quads vs quads yesterday too bad there isn't a bbj
tttt vs qqqq fml
There are prob like 10 nl50 cake regs and i have the sickest image with all of them i'm like the durr of nl50 (lol) I've put my money in with super wide ranges when i thought they were fucking with me and got looked up once or twice and now they all put their money in with aj/77+ against me.
for the most part most everyone you play againt on cake is a reg but they are all pretty dumb it's microstakes though but cake is prob a bit easier than stars/ftp. I only consider the ones who play like 6+ tables at once to be a real reg anyway for cake standards. I get trashtalked daily and I trash talk them back. It's so much fun I look forward to poker every day. I wake up and I _want_ for the first time in suchhhhh a long time to play poker. I grind for 7-8 hours a day 6-8 tabling and I never lose focus or interest it's amazing. There is also pretty much 0 tournaments that tempt me to play on cake they are all shitty and ive ran bad in the ones i played so i have 0 desire to play in any of them. I can't get poker off my mind lately and i've gotta ride this out while i have it because it's amazing having a natural adderall high daily.
I have been talking to a 17 year old girl (i'm 20) lately and i think we are sorta??? dating she is massive amounts of fun and I think she might become the first real girlfriend i've ever had. I took a picture of her i would upload but she thought it was "gross" so maybe i'll have to ninja take another one.
I keep getting rivered by donks. I'm getting owned by the line c/c c/c donk shove while valuebetting overpairs vs donks. Cbet success is below 30% because they always flop top pair, and my AQ,AJ,KQ are always dominated by flopped two pairs.
Naturally, playing 127 hands and then getting rivered 3 times in a row by 50/10 fish will put me on pretty nice tilt, so I usually resort to playing some video games.
I've been playing Super Mario Kart with Ket and his friend Neil lately, which is pretty good at de-tilting me. It's pretty funny because I run bad in poker but I run pretty hot in SMK. The last time I played Ket he quit out of 2player battle mode, loaded up a single player course (while I was still in the game) and drove backwards, picking up coins and saying valuetown.
They're not usually on when I am though, so like two days ago I started playing Super Mario 64 on my N64 emulator. Whenever I have a bad session I play it.
I already beat the game and have 120 stars.
So seeing as I'm currently doomswitched and am having tons of bad sessions, I need you guys to list some awesome PSX, N64, and SNES games for me to play when I'm on tilt. Thanks.
EDIT: BTW I keep having these sessions where I play like 150 hands and then get owned by donks. Here's what it's like:
I hate tiny windows and I don't like overlapping much. I'm fairly comfortable with 6 tables now, but I need to buy another monitor to play 8+. Goal somewhat achieved.
For March:
- win at NL50
- get gold star
- 8 tables and a new monitor
Bleh. Well I shouldn't say life. Poker is not my life, and the way things look it may not even be a part of my life pretty soon. The downswing ensues. I moved to fixed limit (this is what I used to play predominantly). I realized I was about 4k VPP away from Platinum Star for this month so I figured I will grind my way to it through FL since I can get more hands in and it's higher rake.
Needless to say, my down swing followed me to FL and I lost 120 BBs there so far. It's kinda fucked up to run like shit for two weeks. Sick game. Perhaps I need to start sucking my bosses dick to get a promotion there, because I don't think professional poker is something I can really aspire to. I swear to god I run bad more than I run good. I had my first heater ever back in beginning of this month and I've been playing hardcore since October.
Anyway, whine blog over. Had fun at mardi gras last night and I'm going out downtown on Friday and then to Vegas next weekend. Gonna watch some FL videos on DC. Hopefully danzasmacks monotone voice doesn't put me to sleep so I can actually learn something.
I'm sorry to have to do a "normal" blog for once. However, I am a bit numb. In anthropology, there is something that is called the Theory of Reciprocity. The concept is fairly simple: cultures have a near universal concept of giving and receiving: what varies is the cultural understanding of the proportion in which one gives to receive. The significance of this concept to a culture extends beyond distinctions of philanthropy and "investment". The natural dichotomy is to say the context of giving and receiving varies between scales of the moral and the ethical. Sometimes it's okay to accumulate, sometimes it's appropriate to share. However, in the west it is institution that has sanctioned reciprocity in it's most bureaucratic form: "Tax". This is what is most interesting to me. When is an income ethically sound? when is it morally aberrant? This of course is an ethnocentric microscope -- the emergence of industry and capitalism are western in creation.
Having spent 4 years of my life studying classical social theory, I can't help but feel like an anachronism. However, this should not be mistaken for "obsolete". The perspective I obtained remains relevant. However, the complexity of assimilating what I've learned with what I'm experiencing spawns an enigmatic perspective. Marx's "Towards a Critique of Hegel's Philosophy of Right" with Webers "The Protestant Ethic and The Spirit of Capitalism" leaves me lost in translation. These two works leave me with this paradox: Are we better off removed from the "myths" of religion (Marx) or has the Marxist perspective of religion failed to acknowledge the existential significance of "God" in our everyday lives? Would Weber say that our Protestant Ethic has evolved to transfer our formerly religious zeal into a secular weapon of mass consumption? What does that mean? does that mean that we are looking for God in our wallets? or does it mean that God is dead, and that we have killed him? If that is the case, then is it foretold that he will be resurrected in the wake of our moral bankruptcy?
Oh Yes, I have found God, and Tilt be his name.
Basically, I truly feel as though I've gathered a subconscious guilt for my accumulation. I have taken money from people. I truly enjoy the game of poker, and nothing makes people play competitively like money. However, it would be a lie to say I haven't felt "guilty" about my little victories. The Karma line on my PT3 graph inversely represents my winnings. My up times were -EV, my recent practice of the theory of reciprocity has been +EV.
over the last 20 some sessions I've been in the negative. From my original deposit of 50$ in late January I brought up to ~134$ (very slowly). In between these sessions I was playing MTT's and doing pretty well, I was able to consistently get money in some of the 1-2$ turbos for a net of about 30$. This artificially inflated my bankroll (I was having a lot of fun trying to win tournaments), and perhaps my time spent away from playing my normal nl5 cash games was far more detrimental to my game than I previously realized.
I really feel I've been consistent in my play style, but perhaps I could use some tweaks. I think I slowly started to play more hands, and it's cost me. However, I can't figure out what's been up. Over the last week I've lost ~60$. A week ago I felt like I was dealing to fish in a barrel. Since then I've seen ruin -- Thor shot me with a tilt lightning bolt whose tainting electricity continues to resonate in my game.
I realize the possibility of the *heater* factor, but if I was on a heater then... it was... a god damned bonfire... full blown... fucking.. immolation in a conflagration.
Regardless, the graph is the objective truth. it is the mountain that I walked up, and now down in my quest for poker righteousness. I am weathered, weary, unsure, but not deterred. There is a certain level of tranquility involved in the sudden loss of slowly accumulated progress, but the road to the realization of that serenity is unmistakably painful.
I find solace in the thought that I merely returned what wasn't mine in the first place, but it would be a lie to say poker isn't still a dragon that I wouldn't like to slay. I look forward to the purging the tilting effects of the experience, but at the same time I acknowledge some things that I've learned about myself.
I truly do love to win, but I felt a deep sort of release in the dramatic loss of profit. It says that says both that I must remain humble, and that running good is as far from equilibrium as tilt is. This is a very Buddhist notion, but one that I am not ready accept as a proverb. I do still want to win.... don't I?
Has anyone else ever "been here"? or am I better off quitting poker?
First off it is Losar today which is what we call Tibetan New Year, so my GF had the day off of work. She slept in while I did a coaching session and hooked a fish for a big win. Then she got up and we went on a hike in Boulder with a friend which was gorgeous. We brought the camera but of course forgot we had it, so no pics of the hike. But we did take pics at the tea house we went to after the hike which was fun. Came home and chilled for a bit, read all the funny commentary about how bobby jindal bombed, then played another session which went well. After that we got dressed up and went out for dinner and drinks. It's been a fun relaxing day. Even though it's a Wednesday it totally felt like a Saturday. This is why I want to play poker for a job - the freedom to just go where you want when you want, take a hike, visit a beautiful tea house, go out to dinner and so on.
A few pics:
http://premium1.uploadit.org/IAElitesquad//IMG_0984.jpg Me in the tea house
http://premium1.uploadit.org/IAElitesquad//IMG_0985.jpg Our friend Pani
http://premium1.uploadit.org/IAElitesquad//IMG_0978.jpg Me and my GF
http://premium1.uploadit.org/IAElitesquad//IMG_0993.jpg My Greek pizza
As for my first week of the NL200 shot, it's going well. Obviously it's going well as it has lasted a week, when usually it lasts a day or two and then I've lost 5 buyins and am on life tilt. I haven't run very well but I ran about even for a bit and that has allowed me to win 10 buyins. I'm playing a lot less hands than I usually would because I play 4-8 tables, usually 6, and pay much more attention and think much deeper. I get tired more quickly and sessions rarely last 500 hands. I also had trouble getting myself to play at first but it's getting easier and easier as I get more comfortable and the BR grows so I feel like I have more cushion.
I ran pretty horrible Monday night through yesterday. I overall ran bad at life yesterday... I felt like shit at work, tried some NL50 HU and ran 5 bi under EV cause flush draws vs me were the nuts. Came home and got coolered on NL200. Then I tried to play NES zelda and my GF helped me try to build a BR vs the money game man, and we managed to bust 5 bankrolls before quitting. I needed 160 to buy some a shield and medicine before beating the final dungeon, but didn't want to kill guys till I had that much so I got up to 20-40 each time and then the money game guy would own me. Then we wanted to get some wine to celebrate new years eve and I ran to the corner liquor store @ 11:50pm and it was fucking closed 10 minutes early! I went to the next closest one and got there @ 11:55pm and it was also closed! WTF!
So I was very happy to run good again today. Had my biggest day in a while and won nearly 5 buyins which ended up being $950. NL200 is the first limit where winning a couple buyins feels really really good cause it's solid money. At NL400 I think I'd pretty much cream my pants if I had a 20 bi month, lolz.
Anyways enough bitching and whining. What I am hoping is that some of you guys might be willing to help me improve my game. Wether that is by sweating me, or discussing general concepts or hands. I really need to get my head out of my ass and learn how to properly play this game. Im hoping some 100NL regs might be willing to help me out, although this might hurt your winrates lol.
Or whatever you want to call it. Basically I have told everyone close to me, including my parents, that I have no intentions of getting a job and that I am 100% playing poker for a year starting when I graduate in May. I am so excited, I know its going to be the hardest thing I have ever done, but at the same time I can't wait to get started.
The last year:
Made 100k over a 10 month period last year, then stopped playing poker to focus on school as of a year ago. I made a long term life financial EV decision that it was more profitable to try to get a 4.0 gpa in my finance classes instead of making 10k a month in poker. I played poker for around 20k hands a month since September without really focusing on my game at all and have averaged a winrate of $125 an hour (I 10 table).
What I want to do Pokerwise:
I want to play 30k hands a week for one year (I average 1k hands an hour 10 tabling). I plan on grinding 200 nl and hopefully 400 nl. My goal winrate is a pedestrian 2.0 pt/bb. I want to be extremely realistic with my goal. I want to feel like it is something I am working every day towards and that downswings won't slow me down. My goal amount of money is $150,000. This is a goal that I hope to have a very high percentage chance to obtain. I exchanged pm's with handbanana who is a pretty rad dude who made over $200,000 in a year grinding is ass off. I hope to do similar, except a slightly higher pt/bb but less tables and hands. I plan on having a coaching session like once very two weeks to make sure that I am always growing as a player. Some people I may pm for wondering if they want to help out a fellow lp'er (in exchange for $$$ of course) are people like TalentedTom, Jamie217, Nolan, or basically anyone that can beat 400nl or higher (those 3 off the top of my head are sick players imo). I also plan on having a heads up day, where I play only 1 on 1 poker in order to ensure I grow as a player and am not in zombie grind out mode all week.
What I want lifewise:
I am extremely worried about my social life, as I am not a party person or nightlife/bar scene person. I love working out, playing sports, hanging out with chicks, and playing video games with my friends. I am extremely afraid of getting the feeling like I don't get out enough. The feeling where you just feel light headed and dizzy because you have been looking at some sort of monitor device for way to fucking disproportional amount a day. Do any of you have trouble with that? Or are you just trained gamers that have gotten used to it as a way of life? What is a good living situation? Living at a place where people are around and you aren't alone from 9am-5pm sounds logical. Also, what hours are feasible if I want to play 30 hours a week?
If you feel like my goals are naive and I should change my outlooks in a way that would be more rewarding financially or in terms of total happiness I would love to know. I may add this to main poker because it is something I would really love to hear from LP people about. I also really want to meet some LP people eventually, as I have never hung out with a single person that plays online poker and I think it has killed my ability to be on a level higher than 400 nl. Also, it would be hella fun. Thinking about visiting iamalex in Colorado sometime in the next month.
I would love to have any comments or criticisms. Please share your pro experience/thoughts!
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