I really cant handle the cruelty of poker anymore.
Or I really suck, or I'm a whino or FTP is rigged. I decided to quit online poker. It drives me crazy day after day. Some things are really really unbelievable.
I can keep on posting stuff like these. I know many of you guys play thousands of hands more than me probably, and laugh stuff like this away. But I guess I'm mentally not stable enough to take beats like this. I cashed out my bankroll, and I will keep on posting here and looking around, but i'll quit playing.
Tilted but stopped in time - reviewby Chewits, December 20
isclaimer - actually looking for constructive criticism on plays, so its not just a whine *
Seriously got tilted over a fish in NL50 HU earlier. It just seemed no matter what I did, or what hand I had, he always had something better. I was getting owned. He started with just over 50bb stack ($30 at nl50), and finished around on $150, which was mega tilting. But I managed to quit and took some hours off. Went out for dinner with family and shit, and now feel totally relaxed, and now having a look over some of the hands.
At the time, I felt like there was no way to beat this type of player. So our villain, after 281 hands, 49/6/50. 35% fold to cbet.So this guy would rarely call oop when I am on button. I open x3 pretty much standard, mixing it up with some times x4 and the odd x2. Then when he was on the button he always limped.
Story of the session was this, I open x3, he calls, I completely miss flop, try to cbet, he calls, I still have nothing and give up, checking, he checks, then he bets the river. This guy rarely folded to cbets, so I really couldnt do it with air, so I started checking flops alot more. Any time I hit any sort of hand, he would peel flop and fold the turn. Meaning I always ended up getting tiny pots of him, but on my monster hands he always had something slightly better. I just felt like I was getting crushed by the sickest callstation ever. All his limped pots too, if I x4 it pre, he was calling that, and then I was missing so much and ending up donating more money. So I would just check his limped pots,. and alot of the times it was checked to river, with him winning with high card most of the time (not that it matters anyway, as I was folding pre if he raised).
Definitely was tilting now. Looking at my betsizing. In my defense, this guy peeled flops like 70% of the time, sometimes with just two over cards. Which is why I am betting super strong on all streets. Have I overplayed this hand??
Looking through my hand history, the biggest pot I acutally won from him was 22bbs. Everything else was tiny pots, I just never could get payed off when I hit big hands. This was the only hand that I can find that went to showdown and he payed me off;
So anyway, I am looking to learn how to play vs these type of oppenents. So my opinions of this villian, is he plays super passive, but rarely gets his money in with marginal hands. Does not stack off light. Always bets smallish on streets with made hands. Rarely raises. There was one hand he min c/r with trips on a flop, that he checked turn and bet small on river, which i called with TPTK.
Since the rest of the year I will be largely off/clearing bonus on FTP at NL25 lets do some recap.
2010 goals will follow at the end of December.
2009
I started playing poker late February, and I was doing damn good.
I played $0.10 and $0.50 sng's on ipoker for one week after facebook pokering, and then I decided to switch to cash games.
$50 from Poker strategy and LP behind my back I went on 9 tabling NL2 fullring
Here is my first graph after getting PT3, You can see that I was born a monkey: + Show Spoiler +
http://img5.imageshack.us/img5/764/lemonee9.png
At that time I had The Poker Pro Mentality
This concept pinned out by Tommy Angelo says that you would play your best if you'd have to win at poker, OR DIE.
Well, I was a completely broke student back then, I had to borrow money from my girlfriend so I could buy food and paying each month's electricity bill was a huge hustle.
I abandoned Starcraft completely, and played poker furiously.
I was a fucking maniac back then, my university finished and I was just playing poker.
The 11h session is not even the longest I played, the longest was 12.42 hours break even session
See here: http://www.liquidpoker.net/blog/viewblog.php?id=732015
I made 7,500 VPP IN 20 DAYS AT NL25
BOOOM.... soon after this... Supernova.
I finally started cutting on tables and moved to NL50.
As I had all the time in the world I was CRUSHING http://i31.tinypic.com/iyk2df.jpg
Note that this was the last session before I STARTED MY FULL TIME JOB
My first really fulltime job in the office (I was a part time baker for two years prior to this to pay my way through college)
It was all over the internet that... http://www.liquidpoker.net/user_pictures/82aea.pro is dead.JPG
Yup, the poker pro is dead.
I cashed some $1,5 out of poker and it saved my life back then (I would not have survived without that money), but ever since then I was working 40hrs/week and had energy for what was my love and income.
The grinder mentality and the necessity to be good at poker was gone. I had no spare energy and no real need for money.
The skill is still there, don't get me wrong and its so easy to rebuild for me (which I was forced to do twice), I had too many sessions where I simply bled out 10BI in 4Hours because I had a mental breakdown.
Turning the corner
Playing poker while working when you are not used to work, and your regime/fitness/eating are very bad and on the top of the all you have a very bad, results oriented poker mindset where any suck out can set you off is damn hard.
And when I went went to $420 borderline busto at the end of October, I knew I had to change something or otherwise I am wasting my time.
I went on rebuilding from NL10 again, got a DC subscription, read some psychology articles and watched a life changing series from Tommy Angelo. As a result of this I proudly am the follower of no whine train, which many of you find annoying
I have also LUCKBOXED $1400 in a 100 FPP Freerol and things were looking better for once.
Summary
I started with $50 from Pokerstrategy on February 2nd and right now I am here:
Although I have lost my grind and I doubt I will find it until my Work Placement finishes, I declare 2009 Poker year as a success.
Thanks for reading
#at=31
Submitted by : LemOn[5thF]
PokerStars Game #26720211289: Holdem No Limit ($0.02/$0.05) - 2009/04/04 14:51:24 ET
Table Tilia IV 6-max Seat #5 is the button
Seat 1: rubbol ($11.03 in chips)
Seat 2: ZionLee ($0.88 in chips)
Seat 3: nxtn8br ($7.43 in chips)
Seat 4: kiddy007 ($4.22 in chips)
Seat 5: flockmeister ($9.63 in chips)
Seat 6: DoC.LemOn ($9.95 in chips)
DoC.LemOn: posts small blind $0.02
rubbol: posts big blind $0.05
DoC.LemOn: bets $0.46
nxtn8br: raises $0.46 to $0.92
DoC.LemOn: raises $8.73 to $9.65 and is all-in
nxtn8br: calls $6.21 and is all-in
Uncalled bet ($2.52) returned to DoC.LemOn
Looking for $550 PS/FTP for $550 UB. Will send first to reputable members. Have done many transfers and have references for trade. PM me if you can help
I've spent 10 days in Macau for the season finale or whatever of the Macau Poker Cup, with the Main Event being a two day $2.6k MTT. To almost no one's surprise, I cashed a total of zero times and actually pretty much bubbled my final 3 events, including the Main Event. That adds up to a total of 17-18 hours of play in just 3 tournaments alone for absolutely no cash at all (the ME was 10 hours of play and I busted 26th, 19 get paid). Baccarat also started out decent but eventually tumbled, which puts me at roughly -6k on the trip.
Of course this may have been averted by mincashing the ME (5k for mincash), or playing live, but instead I have no idea where the days went and now I'm sitting here 20 days into December and down money, with only 7k hands logged online. Coming into the month I was pretty much only 5k away from $100k on the year and stoked about it but now I'm a bit behind with not much time left, and it feels awful.
I absolutely hate this feeling of defeat. Of knowing I gave it my utmost, excruciating effort and not getting there. Of seeing other people who don't "deserve" it continuously run good and get there (for a micro-level example of this, see any big live tournament, but this appears on the macro-level as well). It sucks and is a big part of my emotional instability with regards to this game and I really, really want to change it but it's been something I've struggled with all my life. I don't have much to complain about because things could honestly be a LOT worse but I hate knowing how good things can be too had things been a little different.
2010 is going to be a lot different. With the help of the new environment I'll be in (Taipei) and my friends I'm going to treat poker as a business, because supposedly I'm a professional and therefore I should be treating my work like a professional and not be a stupid whiny kid. I know what my issues are, and I'm going to work hard to fix them this coming year. 2010 is going to be a LOT different.
That's pretty much what I want to say for now, in a week or so I'll be giving a year-end report and hopefully I'll be over the 100k mark .
Well thanks to some posts around the site, I've realized that the only way I'm ever going to get better at poker is by forcing myself to play. I think it was Ket who said in a thread that people just play expecting to get better over time sporadically, and it just doesn't happen that way.
So I'm trying to play alot, just 4 tabling on my small NL5 bankroll of 160 bucks.
I played a session today where I ran way under EV which is kind of annoying, but I'm definitely not tilted by it. It would have been nice to make 30-35 bucks for almost 4 hours of grinding instead of 95 cents.. but I guess I should be glad I'm even. I also felt like I played well, so it's hard to be tilted. Even the big downswing in the EV graph around hand 1100 was a guy check calling a set against my flopped straight and rivering a full house on the end. I guess there's alot of arguments for just calling this river on this hand, so maybe I played it bad. I just felt like he could be check calling a Q the whole way and didn't want to lose river value so he donked.. and yeah I shoved and value cut myself big time. Villain was kind of stationy so I felt like just calling on the end was losing value in the long run. Who knows :/.
Full Tilt Poker Game #16945776880: Table Chord (6 max) - $0.02/$0.05 - No Limit Hold'em - 5:52:53 ET - 2009/12/20
Seat 1: lhy1951 ($5.04)
Seat 2: Roostas ($4.73)
Seat 3: Jharrhead13 ($9.87)
Seat 4: 2002-2003 SDTR ($6.64), is sitting out
Seat 5: Cr4zyd4uphy ($5), is sitting out
Seat 6: jackgck ($10.24)
Roostas posts the small blind of $0.02
Jharrhead13 posts the big blind of $0.05
The button is in seat #1
Holecards(Odds) Dealt to jackgck
jackgck raises to $0.20
lhy1951 folds
Roostas folds
Jharrhead13 calls $0.15
Jharrhead13 checks
jackgck has 15 seconds left to act
jackgck bets $0.95
Jharrhead13 calls $0.95
River (Pot : $3.02)
Jharrhead13 has 15 seconds left to act
Jharrhead13 bets $1
jackgck has 15 seconds left to act
jackgck raises to $8.74, and is all in
Jharrhead13 calls $7.37, and is all in
Uncalled bet of $0.37 returned to jackgck
Showdown jackgck shows a straight, Queen high
Jharrhead13 shows a full house, Eights full of Queens
Jharrhead13 wins the pot ($18.76) with a full house, Eights full of Queens
jackgck adds $4.63
Summary Total pot $19.76 | Rake $1
Board:
Seat 1: lhy1951 (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 2: Roostas (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 3: Jharrhead13 (big blind) showed and won ($18.76) with a full house, Eights full of Queens
Seat 4: 2002-2003 SDTR is sitting out
Seat 5: Cr4zyd4uphy is sitting out
Seat 6: jackgck showed and lost with a straight, Queen high
Anyways, I'm hoping that if I keep putting in 2-3 hour sessions of 4 tabling everyday and really focusing that I can move up quickly. We'll see what happens, hopefully I run a little smoother next session. . I think I can reach NL50 before I start running into trouble with my game.
Bump... need some stars$ for ftp plzby Drakk, December 20
there has been problems yesterday in the attempt to transfter declining the attempts... not sure if it was on my side but either way it wasnt working... requesting stars money for my ftp. will send first to trusted members
I only play on Stars or FTP atm. But I want to try out some other poker rooms. I am slightly restricted as to what rooms I play, as I am on a Mac, and I really do not want to play on Windows XP (its broken copy..). Anyway the HUD program I use while playing Poker supports currently, Stars, FTP, Ultimate Bet and Ongame Network.
This may sound dumb, but how the hell does this Ongame network work? I do not understand this. What is the website for the poker room? Is it lots of different poker rooms or what? Where can I download the client?
Also, is UltimateBet any good? Looking to be playing 50NL/100NL 6max and 50NLHU.
I'm going to blog about my adventures of 10nl. I used to play live/internet poker on and off but since then i've been motivated by salutary to take it more seriously. He staked me 100 bux on cake in July and it took me 2 1/2-ish to turn it into 400 bux grinding 10nl. Uni work / finals took over. But now that i've graduated, i've got 2 solid months left to grind micros before I start at my graduate job.
I've just started going at it again in December with 300 on PS. I'm not like most of the bloggers on this site. Variance is my bitch. Running equal to ev is total bullshit. Running 3-4 bi above ev is standard for me. As such, there will be no whine posts from this blog. If i post a hand history, it'd probably be me hitting my 2 outter on the river.
I would like to post a graph of my progress so far, but i dont have any webspace. I'll probably get onto it some time this week.
So the main motivating factor for me atm is a prop bet i have with salutary. I need to turn my 300 bux into 2k before end of January. I think its do-able cause it includes my deposit bonus of around 250 bux and i always run insanely hot. I think i've got 10nl crushed but need to play more. My win rate atm is pretty average, 4.5bb/100 but that was after dropping 3-4 bi because of a few coolers (me failing to hit my 2 outer LOL).
I'm hoping to bump into Verneer on the tables because he's doing a micro stakes vid series on CR. I plan on coolering him a couple of times and then giving him a bad beat.
BEAT:
ran the worst i have ever in 3 years - fell into the "regs who didnt adapt" category
lost for 8 months straight after having 4 winning months jan to april
lived on rakeback profits and felt really dirty all year long lol
personal life in general was a mess, disconnected, detached from all forms of interpersonal relationships which really took its toll (went into deep depression)
smoked like 2 to 3packs of cigs a day, no exercise whatsoever -----> cant keep this up obv
decided to "rebuild" from 10nl 2010 and completely rework, rethink , reassess, re evaluate my game from the ground up
realized how omaha is a helluva drug lol
BRAG:
went to vegas again but this time lived and met with awesome LP guys, attended party but did not see nolan (was looking for a black guy lol)
completely debt free 100% now, planning on keeping it that way from hereon
bought a fucking brand new car with poker monies --- weeeeeeeeee!
balled hard in life and did not regret spending all that dough
did not die (yay!)
things in life start to make sense after having the WORST year of my entire life, its weird but true. i am at peace with myself now
im in a position where i am fearless and im pretty excited of what next year will bring
finished milestone, at last
all in all awesome colorful, eventful year for me. my mind is clear and i know exactly what to do with my life next year, which is something i havent done before. feels great and hope all of you experience this at one point in your lives. life is good
Haven't made a music post in a while. Did a ~1 hour playlist with what I'd call pretty sweet X-mas music. It's more punk/rock oriented then most, but as long as your grandmothers aren't proficient in English or you delete like two songs it'll work as something you can play at home over the holidays even if your family is close by.
Song list:
Father Christmas - The Kinks
Christmas in Jail - The Youngsters
March The Mad Scientist - Jethro Tull
Merry Christmas (I don't want to fight tonight) - the Ramones
Christmas all over Again - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
Christmas Eve - Blackmore's Night
Rocking around the Christmas Tree - Brenda Lee
A Spaceman Came Traveling - Chris De Burgh
Christmas Love - Billy Idol
Get Drunk and Make Out This Christmas - The Dan Band
Mistletoe And Wine - Cliff Richards
Fairytale of New York - The Pogues
It's Christmas Time - Status Quo
Mistress For Christmas - The Rock Heroes (the AC/DC made the "real" version, but can't find it on spotify)
The Night Santa Went Crazy - Weird Al Yankovic
Thank God It's Christmas - Queen
this graph makes me fucking sick. Really need to get my shit together...have been playing absolutely horrible the last few days. Going on a 6 day break (vacation to florida). Going to come back from that with an intact game and hopefully destroy some 2/4 souls. http://www.liquidpoker.net/user_pictures/7bb6f.playbad.jpg
DPGRIES: bets 300 and is all-in
superfash: calls 300
River (Pot : $2,930.00)
Showdown DPGRIES: shows (a straight, Six to Ten)
superfash: shows (a straight, Five to Nine)
DPGRIES collected 2930 from pot
Summary Total pot 2930 | Rake 0
Board
Seat 1: hakwuzhere folded on the Flop
Seat 2: superfash showed and lost with a straight, Five to Nine
Seat 3: bowser007 folded before Flop (didnt bet)
Seat 4: sardom folded before Flop (didnt bet)
Seat 5: Genghis Conn (button) folded on the Flop
Seat 6: forzaviola64 (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 7: DPGRIES (big blind) showed and won (2930) with a straight, Six to Ten
Seat 8: mylyon folded before Flop (didnt bet)
Seat 9: Ladymask folded before Flop (didnt bet)