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Woweewowow!
  NewbSaibot, Apr 17 2018

Been awhile... actually I couldnt connect to LP.net for like the last 6 months, not sure why site would just time out. Was randomly clicking bookmarks today and it opened up!

So much has happened... for starters, my pretty little cheapo Saab blew up on me Coolant jug sprung a leak and before I knew it my temp gauge was red lining while driving home. Pulled over, popped the hood and some hose blew off and started spraying boiling coolant everywhere. Luckily my training kicked in and I was able to do an aerial split tsukahara flyaway and didnt get any on me. But I was told I blew a head gasket and warped the cylinder heads. Estimate to fix? $4000. So much for my piddling little poker bankroll I was growing. And my checking account. And my savings. Any literally every last dime I had to my name.

Since the repairs were more than the car was worth I junked it and got a loan for a newer car that is certainly more reliable and one in which any repair shop can work on. I bought a 2013 Nissan Altima. 67k miles and seems to be in great condition, only downside is that due to declaring bankruptcy last year I got stiffed with a 16% APR loan lol. But I really had no choice, because no car = no job.

Which brings us around full circle, because I finally quit my job! How did I quit my job with no poker bankroll, no income at all to speak of, and a car loan on top? Easy, by just giving up on life! You can do it too! In reality I put my last $500 on to ignition and decided I was going to move home where I could sleep on my mom's couch and live rent free for a bit until I got a job again. I quit my current job because it was making me borderline suicidal. I hated it so much. I worked IT for a collection agency which has to be one of the most subhuman morally reprehensible industries on earth. While I wasnt doing the thieving, just working there made me so ashamed. What a fucking trash company that was. And after my 1 year anniversary and numerous discussions about a raise and promotion, coupled with completing the most important project our team was tasked with in the last 5 years, I get passed over with a "ok so we're gonna put you on a review period for this promotion, unpaid of course to see if you can handle it, and then reconvene next quarter". I walked out of the meeting, gathered my personal belongings, left the office and never came back. I just cant bring myself to get horse fucked that badly. Call it pride or whatever, but I have a few principles in me and running the entire desktop support team by myself, overworked, no overtime (just told to take long lunch breaks to make up for it) and meeting all objectives just to be given the endless runaround? No sir, fuck you. FUUUUUUCK YOU. I fucking hope it stung them as bad as they did me leaving the dept in shambles and forcing them to miss all their deadlines for the next big software upgrade cycle since I was the only one who knew how to assemble the packages.

Anyyyyyyyway... so this new girl I was seeing at the time invited me to come stay with her rather than move out of state, and in that time I've been grinding my online roll using hilariously bad bankroll management up to 3k playing NL200 now. This means I can actually pay my bills. I'm pretty sure Ive been running hot but hey we all deserve a little rungood sometimes dont we? I actually do NOT intend to move up any higher since my goal now is just self-sustainability, and NL200 seems to offer that. I can afford my car payment, my tiny bit of gas since i dont drive anywhere, and food in my belly. All things considered thats all I need right now. If and when I grind up to 10k or something I may or may not start playing live again, namely because I am really enjoying the freedom and lack of expenses associated with playing online. I'd probably rather grind NL200 online than 2/5 live. Those tips/food/gas/accommodations really take a bite out of your earnings.



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Comments (48)


It begins
  NewbSaibot, Sep 01 2017

So quick recap -- went pro, played 2/5, did well, lived paycheck to paycheck, spent bankroll, almost homeless, got a job, got a car, and finally this month we're back at the felt. Live poker obviously, since it's the only thing I feel comfortable playing.

We started mid august at 2/2 with about about $1000 in our roll. I kinda figured I dont need a whole bankroll to at least get the ball rolling. If I drop 500BB's right out the gate then whatever, but if I can begin crushing right out the gate that just puts us that much closer to going pro again.

Result:



I'm proud of myself. Not so much for my play but just for the goals im setting and the goals I intend to follow. Lets just pretend for a moment I won the 500k bad beat; I'd keep my car. I'd keep my apt. I'd play 2/5, and literally nothing would change. Thats what fucked me up before. I got greedy and thanks to bad habits from my old jobs where I could just spend everything I made I set myself up for failure since as a poker player you must always be saving. While I dont believe in supernatural shit, I do think it was as good a time as any to go busto, since I was taught a valuable lesson before it was too late. Had I moved up to 5/10 or something and lost it all with no backup plan I could have been seriously screwed.

In fact at times I did flirt with suicidal thoughts. I doubt I would have ever committed but then again, if I was on the street sleeping in my car that 9mm hollowpoint in the arm rest might have seemed like a good way out.

Anyway working a 9-5 job definitely sucks but hey, it kept a roof over my head and put food on the table. It's an entry level IT position I'm ridiculously over qualified for but beggars cant be choosers. I couldnt look for a higher paying job anyway since I was in the midst of a bankruptcy filing and having too much income can make that a problem. I was in the sweet spot to write off 50k in debt yet afford a 1 bedroom apartment without having my wages garnished. Now that that's been taken care of my life can finally get on track. God it feels good to be playing again.

Only other interesting tidbit was banging a coworker and then having her ex-fiance show up at her apt in a coke induced rage. One of those moments where I'm not sure if I wanted to be armed or not. We pretty much broke things off tonight since clearly that shit hasnt been handled yet. Sucks but I guess it's for the best, especially since I probably shouldnt be spending money on females right now..... then again that waitress at the card room is so fucking hot........



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Comments (4)


5 step plan
  NewbSaibot, Apr 09 2017

You'd think I'd have more details or a more well thought out process for how to get back into poker, but you'd be wrong! What I bring to you is my little 5 step plan, the details are more or less assumed.

1. Disregard females
2. Acquire currency
3. ???
4. ??????
5. Profit

Ok in all seriousness here's the plan,

[x] Get a job
[x] Get a car
[ ] Build a new roll
[ ] Play with new roll
[ ] Go pro.... again.

Those of you with keen eyes will notice that not only have I made it to step 2, I actually have a car now! I bought a 2004 Saab, an interesting choice, some may call it stupid others may call it unique. Saab is out of business which is part of the reason you can get a car like this under 3k, but during their legacy they made a rather unique car. In fact I kinda feel like Saab was ahead of their time with many of the concepts and technologies they introduced. I guess it was supposed to be a budget luxury line that wasnt total crap. Nonetheless their cars have a very different appearance that has aged quite well for a 14 year old car. It still looks classy and modern like any 00's BMW/Mercedes if you ask me. While hunting for cars I learned 2 valuable lessons; never buy from a dealer and everything under 5k looks boring and old as shit.

I know I know we're supposed to be beyond superficiality and looks, but I knew if I got a 98 camry that I'd hate it and be looking to sell it ASAP which would prove to be a losing financial decision longrun anyway. It doesnt have to be amazing, just something I fricken want to drive, and in my budget pickens were slim. Even if I did decide to go the camry/honda route, that entire line of cars seems to be built for the needy. Every one of them I checked out was just horribly abused. Essentially poor people dont take real good care of their cars, and I started I feel like I should flat out avoid the entry level Japanese line since their history is just gonna serve as beaters for low income people like myself. You have to be very patient to find that one car that is listed under 3k that someone actually took good care of and is just parting ways with it because it's time to move on. All the others are trash being dumped before the engine/tranny blows up.

So along came this Saab, and man I love this thing. Besides the looks it's just so different. Saab re-invented the wheel at every opportunity which overall just kinda gives the car its own theme. The door handles open different, the seats recline different, the dash layout is different, the buttons are different, the ficken ignition switch is in the middle next to the e-brake, everything is just done differently. It just makes it feel like you're driving a new kind of car, even if it's just new to me. But anyway I'm so happy I bought this because I really feel like it's a keeper car. It'll look just as good in 10 years and does everything I want it to. I'm also a bit proud of myself to be honest; that I've made it this far and cleared two huge milestones and that I actually own something, something with NO PAYMENT. It's mine. Within the next few months I hope to be taking shots at 2/2 NLHE live again and just praying for a good run so I can get back to living life and not just living for the weekends (or in my case, every other weekend with this fucking lame job I've got). Cant complain though, I have a used luxury car in good condition, a roof over my head, and food on the table.








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Comments (3)


Car shopping!
  NewbSaibot, Feb 17 2017

So in my newfound wisdom we should be buying quality used cars. I've always had a fondness of Lexus after owning my first used ES250 back in highschool and recognized the astonishing build quality and attention to detail. It's a shame I ignored this for so long. I have my sights set on 1 of 3 Lexus cars priced around $3000 now:

ES300 - smaller sibling of 400, mostly just aesthetic differences
LS400 - large roomy sedan, super smooth and quiet, max features
SC400 - sports coupe. Least features, but possibly looks the best

http://imgur.com/a/rIVqj

Thoughts?



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Comments (23)


Starting over
  NewbSaibot, Feb 13 2017

So if anyone has kept up with me you should know by now that I done goofed. I fucked up. I didnt treat poker like a business, let some big cashes get to my head and literally spent my bankroll to the point that I drove myself out of business. I guess I cant feel too bad, I'm not the first person to get reckless with their income and self-destruct. I've never felt too bad about it because at least I didnt lose it all playing poker. So where did that leave me? Pretty dire times to be honest. In fact if I come out of all of this I feel like I should write a book. I was about 2 months away from rock bottom, and by rock bottom I mean straight up homeless, no car, no more couches to crash on, looking to take the bullet train out of town kinda thing. In fact I actually had more suicidal thoughts than I had ever had in my life. Not that I've ever been particularly suicidal, but I kept a steady eye on my firearms to make sure I wasnt fantasizing about it too much before I'd have to pawn them off to make sure I didnt do anything stupid.

Tomorrow I start my first day at my new job. It pays 50% less than my last job but by my estimates it should be enough to keep a roof over my head. My quality of life as it stands today is still leaps and bounds ahead of many others so I have no right to complain. I have a borrowed car, food in the fridge, running water, soft bed, clean sheets, and warm air when it's cool and cool air when it's warm. My checking account balance is currently $277, so you can see how bad things were getting. Actually I also have 1k on Ignition which I'll discuss in a minute.

Thing is I'm actually feeling pretty good about everything. For starters this new job looks to be painfully easy and about 5 steps back in my career title as I was before. Basically I'm doing now what I did when I first started working. Just general helpdesk tier 1 stuff. "Help my mouse isnt working!" and so I plug it back in. Thing is with each new job I got paying a bit more my responsibilities increased, and with that came a new level of stress. I was working jobs where I had to come in on weekends, had to be on call 24/7, had to be interrupted in dinner out on town, had to come in early and stay late. The jump in title and pay didnt do anything for my quality of life. Quite simply I was not happy. This might have had to do with being stuck in a broken relationship for so long too, but I still hated all of those jobs. My favorite job was my helpdesk job, so I've come full circle and am back right where I started.

Now that I am debt free I am hoping to begin saving up for a new poker bankroll, which brings us to Ignition. So right before I went busto I threw my last $800 of disposable income online just to see if I could do something, anything with it at all. I mean for fuck's sake I've played this game long enough, can I even beat the micros yet? Can 2/5 live be easier than NL10 online? Where am I? So I dilly dally'd around from NL5 to NL25 before I just suddenly up and transitioned into PLO exclusively. I still remember the moment, I was staring at the micro NLHE lobby and kind of disappointed at what I saw. Lot of 10-20BB avg pot sizes, maybe 20% of players seeing flops, and overall a lack of action in general. I know IG hides tables that are full but I just kinda got the impression there's not a whole lot going on at micros on IG. I've always been fascinated by PLO and the kind of action it brings, so I switched over to the PLO lobby. Holy crap, avg pots of 50BB, avg players/flop 40%+, and plenty of open tables at all limits. If my goal is to climb the ladder and make it to high stakes I want there to be good games going on. It's hard to find good 5/10 and 10/20 NLHE games, but at PLO they always run.

I dont consider myself an action junkie, but I do like to play loose and aggressive. My lifetime stats in NLHE have always been around 30/24/3 with probably 10% 3bet. I'm the guy with the always positive red line. At that moment PLO just seemed kind of a natural fit for me. I get to play loose, but not so loose like I do in NLHE where it can cause me problems. Playing a 30/24 style in PLO is probably golden. Most of the fish there are playing a 60/5/.9 game with 0 3bet. So I'm actually playing tight compared to them, but it feels loose as fuck to me which is right where I like it. Now I have no experience with PLO at all other than knowing the rules. I have Joey for inspiration and I think maybe 2 videos from Deuces Cracked about 5 years ago from Vanessa whereby all I remember her saying is "PLO is a drawing game". So rather than doing the smart thing and studying a bunch of material I kinda decided I'd just teach myself PLO. I think I've always had a hard time following the advice of others and seem to be one of those stubborn guys who can only learn the stove is hot when he burns his hand. My $800 roll dropped to $250 pretty quickly playing PLO50. I took a step back, seriously analyzed a lot of HH's, pitched some scenarios to some generous folks online for their advice and went back to it. I dropped limits of course and over the next 4 weeks managed to grind my $250 back to $1050. Now we're talking less than 10k hands here so probably fish on a heater, but it sure feels like I'm doing things right.

So what now? Well my goal is to keep grinding away online and let whatever happens happen. My goal either through live shot taking or online shot taking is to grind a new bankroll up to 30k and then become a pro again, and this time do things right. No more sports cars, no more paying for pussy (expensive dates), no more impulse buys on toys (virtual reality, multiple cellphones, tablets, gadgets, clothes, etc) and to just be a responsible adult with my poker job. I dont ever want to get in debt again. I dont ever want to have a car payment again. No more credit cards, nothing. I want to live entirely out of cash. I think this will be good for perspective, to make sure I always know exactly what my spending ability is, and of course it just makes financial sense to never pay interest on anything. If I become an online pro then awesome, I have my pick of almost anywhere in the world to live. If the higher limits of PLO prove to be too difficult, or I just start playing in the absolutely-balls-out-nuts live PLO games around here (40k stacks at 5/10 anyone?) then I'll obviously have to live where the games are good. At the moment I would prefer online, because I mean who wouldnt. But I still enjoy shootin the shit with live players and trying to get waitresses phone numbers. I did actually make several friends from the tables, something I could not have done if I lived like a hermit at home grinding away online.

Anyway time to iron my shirt and pack my lunch for the big day! lol.... just lol..



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Comments (15)


Year end results
  NewbSaibot, Oct 06 2016

So it has been year since I moved to Florida to pursue live poker as a career, and here are the results -



While I'm proud of the results, I am ashamed of the volume. A paltry 711 hours for an entire year, which translates to roughly 25k hands, or about what some of you probably put in a month. What happened? Well a few things. For starters there is definitely a basic work ethic problem here. Quite simply I am a lazy person and was essentially doing the bare minimum at all times. 2 hours sessions, 4 hours if I'm lucky, going in 3-4 times per week, that sorta thing. Some of it was onset by MUBS (Monsters Under the Bed Syndrome), a result of one too many bad beats putting me in a psychological funk whereby I am scared of the next suckout, so I just leave early and dont even play some days. Despite my winrate I was under constant fear that it might all come crashing down, so I kept "quitting while I'm ahead".

I was also paranoid that if I failed to meet my monthly nut that I would spiral downward into bustoland as I became paranoid about my ability to self-sustain from poker, so whenever I would hit 4-5k/month I'd just "quit on a high note" sort of thing. I knew from the beginning this would be a recipe for disaster because I was basically making only what I needed to pay the bills without saving anything behind. I set myself up for failure by having to consistently show profit every single month without having any downswings. But when you're on a paperthin bankroll any losing month is going to crush your confidence so you always feel the need to look like you had a winning month.

Finally the third biggest culprit was simply living way outside of my means. I recognized that earning 4k/month tax free was the equivalent of having a 75k salaried job without taxes, so I lived as such. I bought a sportscar, semi-luxury apartment, bunch of furniture and stuff to decorate, and of course dropped a lot on pussy. I met this girl while I was down here and in an attempt to impress her I just overspent on dates and stuff. I was paying $125 every 3 weeks to get her hair done, going out to dinner like 5x a week, bought her some clothes and boots and stuff, and even owned 2 cars for awhile to let her drive my spare.

How did I do all of this on 32k? Easy, credit cards. I've always had good credit so I had about 35k or so available to "spend", and spend it I did. Basically every single bill went on credit to preserve my bankroll. I always kept 10k in the bank just in case. Well that "just in case" moment has come knockin. Now that my credit cards are maxed and I finally went on a nice breakeven stretch I've had to tap the roll for finances. As a result I now only have 5k left to my name and have had to cease playing live poker.

What does one do with 35k debt, 5k in cash and no job? Well he goes bankrupt obviously. My next step from here is one of 3 things. I'll either stay unemployed in FL long enough to declare bankruptcy and get a normal job, spend the last of my roll on a shitty used car and get a roommate to slash expenses. Hopefully instead of needing 4k/month I will get down to about 2k/month which I think almost any job can cover. However I'm not quite sure if I can rebuild a roll on such limited income. If not, then I will probably move back home and live with the parents for a few months to avoid paying any rent at all, get a job there and try to save up another 10-15k within half a year or so and take a shot again, except this time I'll do things right. I guess I needed a good kick in the ass to recognize what it takes to actually live as a poker player. While my volume is low I think it's safe to say I'm beating these games and should continue to pursue the endeavor. Maybe I wont be at $40/hr after the next few years but surely $25 or so would be a good estimate for a very modest average minded player such as myself.

In the meantime I have one last trick, and thats to try playing online a little. You see I play 2/5 live, and I'm not sure 2/2 is beatable with rake/tips/gas/food etc. However with Ignition poker accepting bitcoin transfers I might be able to take a shot at NL50-NL100 and earn enough to survive the bankruptcy process while paying for rent and food until I lose my car and get all my debts cleaned. I've really enjoyed my time as a poker "pro" and would only continue if I was a proven winner. I just need to be a responsible winner. The good thing about bankruptcy is that it's actually probably a pretty good time in my life for it at the moment. I'm 35 now and the red flag this will put on my credit will last 10 years. I'm in a position right now where I shouldnt really need loans of any sort. I dont plan on buying a home and will learn to live with a modest car instead of something flashy. As a poker player all other bills should be paid in cash anyway so this will more or less keep me on track. I literally wont even be able to get approved for a credit card for the first 2-3 years probably anyway, at which point I'd have to go through the tedious process of rebuilding my credit score through secured micro transactions and such, but that's all fine. I kinda dont even want credit cards again since they are the devil Most people in this world would be better off without them in the first place.

In the meantime wish me luck!



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Comments (18)


HTC Vive
  NewbSaibot, Sep 10 2016

Dunno how many nerds we have here, but I'm sure most of you have probably heard of the new virtual reality headsets. I lit my allowance money on fire in the early 90's to play those shitty VR machines they had in the arcade, bought an Oculus development kit when it came out just to see what all the hype was about, bought a Galaxy S6 smartphone just so I could use GearVR with it, and had been waiting to see who the victor would be in the new Oculus vs Valve wars. Finally some local shops had both on display for customers to demo with so I was able to experience both and decide which one was best for me.

Hands down the HTC vive is the most incredible gaming experience I have ever received. Oculus is under the belief that gamers wont really want to walk around in a VR environment, that we'll all eventually prefer to just sit down and hold a controller and play cockpit simulators or something. They dont really support this whole "roomscale" thing that involves being able to freeroam around in empty space. Valve on the other hand see's it the exact opposite, that being able to just look around is a gimmick, and that the real power in VR is being able to move around. Personally I think Valve couldnt be more right. I dont have a very big play space, however even just being able to walk 2 steps forward or backwards is game changing. The tiny head movements and bobbing you experience as a bipedal species are perfectly tracked by the Vive. When you tilt your head to lean down and look at something it's all there. These experiences are sorely lacking in the Oculus Rift which usually just has you sitting there looking straight ahead. Sure you can look and lean anywhere you want in the Rift too, however there is no incentive to do so. Most of their games are designed to just look 3D without the need to actually look anywhere. Vive games go out of their way to encourage you to move around and explore the area. When you reach the confines of your playspace you can "teleport" further down the road and just start walking the opposite direction. It sounds silly but it makes all the difference.

I havent even purchased any games yet, the little demo suite valve provides so far is astounding. So much in fact that Vive demo's have more playability than full blown Rift games. It is truly an amazing experience. Both systems cost the same, $800 USD (if you want wireless VR touch controllers at least) and Oculus may eventually get with the program and start encouraging roomscale development. Any dev could produce roomscale games if they wanted, they just dont seem to be doing it yet. But if you have some disposable income I highly recommend you try it. If you get bored of the system, sell it on ebay and consider the loss as just rent for VR for the few months you keep it.



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Comments (4)


Q2 - 2016
  NewbSaibot, Aug 01 2016

Alright so, Q2 sucked for a variety of reasons, most of which I'll try not to deflect from anything more than poor decision making. For starters I completely messed up my sleep schedule thanks to that damn blizzard game Overwatch. There is a direct correlation from May 26th (official release date of game) and my sudden downswing/breakeven stretch lol. I am so completely addicted to this game I can easily play 10 hours straight and found myself going to sleep and waking up at all sorts of crazy hours. This was disastrous for poker as I ended up missing out on lots of good action by playing at odd hours of the day/night. There were times were I was just exhausted at 7pm on a Saturday and could not stay up, completely forfeiting one of the most profitable days.

The next huge mistake I made was taking a shot at 5/10. My bankroll was 17k, a mere 3 buyins away from 5/10 anyway so I figure might as well take a 5 buyin shot now. I mean, if I had 20k and moved up to 5/10 it's not like I'd drop back down if I hit 17k so whats the difference? Well, psychologically speaking there's tons. Playing with 20 buyins vs feeling like you only have 5 buyins while shot taking really throws you off your game. On top of that, both times I sat everyone was straddling which basically meant I was playing 10/25. To further compound the issue, usually within an hour someone would say "hey why dont we just bump it to 10/25 so we can play time rake?" to which everyone agreed. So my dumb ass really ended up taking a 2 buyin shot at 10/25 which is just disgraceful. Part of it was pride, I didnt want to sheepishly walk away from the table and look poor. The other was greed. I mean there's plenty of times you sit down and just run it up from your initial buyin, so maybe I can run good here too which would be quite a boost to the bankroll. 2 buyins at 10/25 vs 5 buyins at 5/10, whats the difference right? Fuck it....... big mistake. I wont ever be doing that again.

I'm not sure I quite got over that hit. Ever since then it feels like I'm playing kinda frustrated. I cant quite tell if it's just from running bad or a combination of things. I experimented with different bet sizings but still feel most comfortable betting half pot under most circumstances. Because stack sizes vary so heavily in multiway pots at low stakes games I find it hard to know exactly who and what range of hands im targeting. I'll iso something like 9Ts OTB and get 5 callers. Flop will be 67Q and someone will donkbet from UTG for like 1/4 pot and MP will call. I feel inclined to raise here because fuck that donkbet and fuck that sizing. I just dont know what my success rate is here.

Anyway I'm going to adjust my range and limping frequency. Right now my range was basically

EP : 22+/JTs+/QJo+/A9s+

MP: 22+/78s+/JTo+/A9o+/A6s+

LP: 22+/56s+/JTo+/A6o+/A2s+

BTN: 22+/54s+/JTo+/Ax+

SB: Play button range

and I'd almost always come in for a raise if I was opening here, plus the occasional 3bet vs the reg's if I was squeezing LP and it was obvious they were targeting a deep fish on their right.

I've adjusted this range to be more precise in regards to when I'll limp vs when I'll raise to include the following:
The R/L tags indicate raising/limping.

EP-R: 88+/AQs+
EP-L: 22-77/KTs+/AJo+/ATs+

MP-R: 88+/AJo+/ATs+
MP-L: 22+/54s+/QJs+/KTs+

LP-R: 55+/KTs+/AJo+/ATs+
LP-L: 22+/52s+/Q9s+/KQo+/ATo+

BTN-R: 55+/KTs+/AJo+/ATs+
BTN-L: 54o+/A2s+/QJo+/Q8s+/K9s+

What I've done here is included a much wider limping range and much tighter EP range just to be more exploitable since so many pots go unraised preflop anyway. If you notice from my previous range hands like Q8s weren't even a part of it. I would just auto-fold that from any position no matter what. I think adding in these new hands combined with small bet sizing may enable these hands to be played easier since I cant valuetown myself too terribly on any runout.



TLDR: Fucked up taking a shot, fucked up not taking schedule seriously playing video games instead, probably got on a little life tilt from poor results and played sub-optimally overall. RESULTS!!

Q2 2016 - 10/25 included + Show Spoiler +



Q2 2016 - 10/25 excluded + Show Spoiler +



YTD since going pro + Show Spoiler +





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Comments (19)


2016 - Fo' realz
  NewbSaibot, Apr 02 2016

April fools ya'll, lol. Today's blog will mark the real deal.

Results are in - 2016 thus far



February was my first losing month, at about $-800. I met this girl and things became pretty intense, moved in together, and then she left me to go back to her abusive ex boyfriend (gave her black eyes and everything, the worst), but sadly this is actually common among abuse victims. Man did this fuck with my head hard, I found myself completely crushed emotionally, deliberately losing hands and becoming self-destructive as a way to take my mind off of things. I snapped out of it after losing about 6 buyins and just quit playing completely for 2 weeks and by March I was back on my A-game. As for me and that girl, dont worry about that shit, we're as done as done can be.

Anyway I'm still trying to plug that stupid leak I have of "paying to see" when someone makes a retarded bet against me that makes no sense. I'm not calling shoves or anything like that and it's a lot better than before, but I still catch myself calling here and there like once every few sessions when I know I'm beat, but I just want to figure out wtf my opponent was doing.

The good news I am finally getting more confident playing deep. I think a big part of it has just been playing scared money. Not scared because I cant afford to play, but just that butterflies in the stomach kind of thing knowing that this is my lifeline here so dont risk too much since I'm so new to this lifestyle. But goddamn when you get deep vs these players it's just fuckin' game on every time. Here's a couple of chip porn shots where I maintained my composure and just stuck it out until the table broke.



This will be my primary focus going forward. Just sitting down with the intention to eat the table.

Funny hand tonight, sitting 220BB effective, I river quads but ended up tabling my hand before he called. I actually thought he had folded because I was busy bullshitting with the guy on my right who was paying me off all night drunk as fuck and he had already gone allin on the turn. Other guy shows the nut straight and of course folds, then goes on an epic rant against the dealer even though I just saved him about $900 on a river bet that he was obviously going to call. Doh, pay more attention!

Oh yeah, and I did buy a new car lol. Nothing fancy, just a used 370z Nismo, but man this thing is so fun to drive.



I even mounted a tablet. It's just velcro with the cables routed behind the dash but I think it looks pretty legit! Certainly works well for streaming music and navigation.





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Comments (13)


Q1 - 2016
  NewbSaibot, Apr 01 2016

Decided to do quarterly updates as I figured it'd give me more to talk about. Cool news I hit the BB jackpot for about 250k, which after my share netted me about 125k. I didnt elect to file taxes because I decided to treat myself to something first, a used Ferrari 488GTB! Here it is parked outside the front of my apartment.




It's pretty hard to get these so this one was actually used with 12 miles on it. Apparently the owner drove it home and decided he didnt want it anymore (probably bought it without the wife's permission) so back to the dealer it went. I got it for a steal at $313,087 after all taxes and fee's were paid. I had it registered out of state to avoid Florida sales tax so hopefully I dont get pulled over for a ticket! The payment on it is only about 7k/month so I figure I'll drive it until the end of the year and then dump it before it loses too much value / my roll has taken too big of a hit.

Speaking of which, to help mitigate the sting on my liferoll this car is going to incur I decided to head down south where they have some bigger games. The waitlist for 2/5 NL was taking fucking forever but they had an open seat at 5/10 PLO which the floor kept asking if I wanted to sit at. I finally broke and said ok. I dont think there was any cap to the buyin, but they informed me the minimum was $300 which I decided to start with just to get a feel for it. I know the rules to PLO just not much of the strategy. Luckily I ran hot and managed the snap a few pictures for the chip porn gallery



I got a little scared playing this deep so I decided to quit and head to another casino about a half hour away and do the same thing again



The last picture isnt all that bragworthy since I minbought 15 times for $300 a pop but hey, gotta limit my risk of ruin now that I have some unexpected new finances! It's been a wild ride this year but I'll post more tomorrow.



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