#Game No : 775402563
***** 888poker Hand History for Game 775402563 *****
$0.02/$0.04 Blinds No Limit Holdem - ***
Table Gijon 6 Max Real Money
Seat 4 is the button
Total number of players : 2
Seat 4: mrbig_1973 $1.89
Seat 6: Hero $4.17
mrbig_1973 posts small blind [$0.02]
Hero posts big blind [$0.04]
Holecards Dealt to Hero [ ]
mrbig_1973 calls [$0.02]
Hero checks
** Dealing flop ** [, ]
Hero bets [$0.06]
mrbig_1973 calls [$0.06]
** Dealing turn ** ]
Hero bets [$0.15]
mrbig_1973 calls [$0.15]
** Dealing river ** ]
Hero checks
mrbig_1973 folds
** Summary **
Hero did not show his hand
Hero collected [ $0.48 ]
888 Webcam table too. Too bad I started recording for the coaching only after i played it
After listening to the book in my last post I recently come back to (non-strict by any means, more like mindfulness practices) meditations - reasons why I stopped in the first place are here: + Show Spoiler +
The reason why I stopped basically was I got involved with the Buddhism part of it, read about buddha and from Kwan Um Zen guys, who were doctors mostly in hospices ... General vegan esoteric do-gooders. And I deemed it incompatible with the real world we live in really, that is build on pursuit of money, maximizing utility, goal setting etc. Because I'm not a monster by any means, but I'm a reasonably selfish modern person
But the psychopath book showed me that mindfulness doesn't have to be by any means tied into goodness or enlightenment, it can be used for completely sinister purposes and it's just a bias of Buddhists who happen to practice it that it leads to enlightenment and altruism, but it's completely applicable to capitalist society with a few tweaks. I've already started using all of the old meditative tricks again and see no reason why I'd stop now ever again
Anyways for months I have been taking a bus to visit my 91year old great grandaunt , and from afar I have always seen this strange building, wondering what the story behind it is and how to get there
Since I'm living in the present moment a lot more I'm looking for more experiences, and I've wikipedia'd a list of natural reserves, and searched for one max 40 minutes away from my flat to not disrupt my grind too much and found Barrandov Terraces.
Basically it's where the sea used to be some 170million years ago, and the cliffs you can see there were at the bottom of it. It's a very popular area for archaeologists it turns out, with trilobites being a common discovery there ( no luck).
So I walk along the path, and then see a tiny pathway leading through the bushes. Unbelievably a whole large area, completely hidden from sight was there, containing an abandoned swimming pool.
It was a really overwhelming feeling and I actually shouted out in amazement "what the fuck" with a huge grin on my face. This was how the kids most have felt when they entered the freaking Narnia for the first time.
I snooped around, and a long stairway from on the side of the hill that leads all the way to the main building
I've looked into it, and its a hell of a story. Basically, this complex was build in the 20s, and there is nothing else to compare it with than The Great Gatsby's mansion during the same era. The crème de la crème, the richest and most important people of Czechoslovakia would gather here in a bar open 365 days per year, and dance to the rhythm of swing, there was even a whole orchestra of the world famous R. A. Dvorsky playing there and the pompous guests would party until the morning, often staying for breakfast.
This is how the place looked in the heyday of it's glory
It was destined soon to change hands by none other than the Nazi's during the war. They again used for spoiling the heads of The Reich where they enjoyed their Czech courtesans. They even have build a rail-track to the place, just to to get the guests there more comfortably!
Of course when The Third Reich fell the complex was taken over by communists. Of course they nationalized it, and made a bold proclamation that it shall be returned to the common people. Unsurprisingly, that wasn't the case, and once more it was used to entertain the heads of The Party, and their foreign guests.
After the revolution the complex was returned to the descendants of the original mastermind and owner behind the project, Vaclav M. Havel (whom I personally imagine as The Czech Gatsby) but they've failed to take care of it. Soon it was closed forever, taken over by squatters and homeless people who eventually sent the wooden part of the complex, where for so many years people would drink lavishly until the morning, on fire.
Now when you walk through the desolate ghost town taken over by foliage and listen just hard enough, you can still hear the rhytm of swing, burlesque parties and moaning of courtesans distantly in the wind.
And that is the story, of Prague's Barrandov Terraces, and a time long gone.
See my last blog, where I (and most people) are driven mostly by fear of loss, are anxious all the time, and actually need anxiety to perform at optimal levels, some more than others. This is my notes from last couple chapters from his book
In the book , Dutton outlined "7 Deadly winds" of psychopaths:
1) Ruthlessness
2) Charm
3) Focus
4) Mental Toughness
5) Fearlessness
6) Mindfulness
7) Action
People spend too much time thinking about what might go wrong, that they don't really live in the present moment. Living in the past or too much in the future makes the present decisions sub-optimal. E.g. people were faced with 20 coin flips where the payouts were -$1 and +$1.5. Normal people stopped taking flips most of the time at some point to "preserve winnings". Psychopaths took all 20 flips, and didn't have issues with e.g. killing one person to save 3 others etc.
He argues that psychopathy is very useful in the stressful modern world, more so in professions like: Surgeon, Lawyer, Stock Broker, Poker player...
The key is becoming a Method Psychopath Capable of stepping into these qualities when required, but still being capable of restraint so you don't end up chopping random virgins into pieces yet can navigate in the stressful modern world.
He draws the parallel with sports psychology and flow, where top golfers state e.g.
Play like it is nothing when it means everything. Let go of mistakes in your head, even good shots, just focus on the next one. And forget about consequences as well
That's why athletes set e.g. process goals - it forces them to focus on the present moment and forget about the distractions of the past and the future.
Psychopaths have a natural talent for such things. For example, when they are faced with an extreme situation their heart rate goes DOWN slightly, and so do other tests - they are gearing themselves up to the challenge. They also solely focus on the task at hand, not even seeing the threats they could be fearful of - they are not courageous as they have nothing to fear, they just see the things needed to do in order to get what they want.
THE FULL CIRCLE
So what does Dutton Recommend you do in order to be capable to act more as a psychopath?
Yep. It's pretty much the first mental game material I came across, and what tons of nosebleed players are doing According to Ike Haxton - mindfulness and meditation.
The practice of right mindfullness constitutes the sevenths step of the noble path, one of the teachings of Buddha written some 2500 years ago.
The Mind is deliberately capped at the level of bare attention, a detached observation of what is happening within us and around us in the present moment. In the practice of right mindfulness the mind is trained to remained in the present, open, quiet and alert contemplating the present event. All judgments and interpretations have to be suspended, or if they occur, just registered and dropped. Such training consistently applied eventually leads to the arising of insight and the qualities of dispassion, non-clinging and release. Psychopaths possess such qualities naturally.
Mindfulness based intervention has been shown to be a particularly effective meta-cognitive strategy when dealing with the symptoms of anxiety and depression, two conditions that psychopaths are singularly immune to. The therapy uses Buddhist teachings, but adds a kind-of Naive child like inquisitiveness which is strongly reminiscent of the core "openness to Experience" factor of the big 5 personality structure of which psychopaths score very high on. Anchor the thoughts entirely in the present, screen out the chatter of the past and the elusive future and anxiety begins to subside, perception begins to sharpen, and the question becomes one of utility, what we do with this NOW, this enormous, emphatic present, once we have it. Do we savor the moment like a saint or seize it like a psychopath. Do we reflect on the nature of experience or do we focus our focus entirely on ourselves, the the pursuit of instant gratification.
See Wh00zel' quote here:
On September 03 2015 03:56 thewh00sel wrote:
Agree with approaching like an 8 year old. Be excited and intrigued at every option in every street of poker like a video game with no consequences except that if you die you reset your 100bb or w/e and start again. I definitely have all my best sessions with this mindset.
A study was mentioned of an emotional response test, where they simulated an explosion next to you. There was a reaction in every person, but hardcore Buddhist monks performing one of their meditation techniques - they were able to observe the thought, even notice it more clearly than others, but the measured reaction was miles lower than anyone else.
So the solution to be able to acquire the positive qualities of psychopaths seems to be mindfulness, living in the present moment - being aware of your emotions but merely observing them I see it now where I got hit by the largest 1 week downswing ever since I remember, clocking at some 24buy ins. The biggest effect is in that has is that it throws me off the focus on the present moment, on playing my hand as well as I can with distracting thoughts of past and projecting fear into the future - something a psychopath or a skilled Buddhist monk would never do. And it's the same when interacting with people, (chicks especially - In a podcast a PUA from "The Game" itself recommended meditation leading to aware situational openers as a way to go) Failing that, the last piece of advice came from a psychopath in a mental institution: The trick is mindfulness, or ,failing that, abusing your imagination into "What if I didn't feel this fearful way" and do the right thing anyway.
notes and little bits from the book as I typed them in my phone:
wisdom
sad people rember more
surgeons are psychopaths. in alternative universe murderer can be a surgeon or world leadee
disorders can be helpful - nash psychotic
women were physically weaker- evolutionary thet had to develop emotional radar to recognise dangerous ppl like psychopats.
they unedrstand and recognise emotion, but dont feel it.
utalitarian(stuart mill, bentham) people - psychopaths. fat guy train dillema
inhaling sweat from 1st time skydivers made fear part of brain 40pct more active in testee ppl uner rmri scanner. psychopaths are unaffected. they dont have anxiety and are unaffected by what others think.
buddhist monks might be psychopaths -unaffected by others, only filled with compassion.
emotion by numbers
full longboat wreck- ps. decidef fast.
herding - animals when threatened huddled up together, so do ppl. stock - go "irrationally" vs the herd
bond - psychopath
self disclosure meets reciprocity.
distracting quickly will make the person forget they told us stuff
psychopaths are driven by reward, learn slower when threaten by punishment than normal people, (reverse of behavioral value function curve?!!). dopamine reward 4x higher induced by promise of reward. true psychopaths seek reward at any cost, with intense focus.
psychopaths have talent at recognising emotion. they know what it is not what it's like. they dont feel anxiety.
moderate psychopathic traits most succesfull
extreme persuasion radio show
give rejection the finge and rejection gives it back - pickup, racking up rejection.
mental toughness - what if you dont need courage as you dont have fear. courage is just emotional blood doping.
people spend too much time thinking about what might go wrong, that they don't really live in the present moment.
the trick is mindfullness, or use imagination " what if I didnt feel this fearful way, and do it anyways".
living in the past makes present sub optimal - e.g. the plus ev coimflip where people preserve winnings instead of maxing ev
paychopaths never procrastinate as they don't project fear of future
Method psychopath- capable of stepping into these qualities as needed.
st paul psychopath- changing to jews, law, outlaws,poor...
stoicism is coveted under pressure
play like it is nothing when it means everything. let go of mistakes or good shots just focus on the next one. forget about consequences.
process goals force athlete to focus and forget about other things.
they focus on task, not seeing a threat. ropes, focused on climbing, ignored fear.
P.S. I'm glad I finished this thing. It was a great listen, but there's loads of moral dilemmas like "would you strangle your own infant if it's crying, you and other jews are in a basement and if you don't the Nazi's are sure to found you out and kill the whole group" and I'm all about trying to feed my mind with constructive and positive thoughts, and it was pretty draining.
Just to mention: I got the tip from the book from this podcast on confidence and Anxiety, that changed my approach towards life to a very large degree: http://www.menprovement.com/mpp024/
I'm listening to The Wisdom of Psychopaths audiobook and recently I've kept a journal where I think on paper about poker and then try to look at the stuff.
Basically I like the thought of W34z3l where he said something like
you woulnd't submit a database of 50 hands to someone for analysis would you. Yet people analyze their mental game based on isolated thoughts and incidents of which they hardly keep any records
And through looking back at my history in various endeavors I one day realized that
I achieve flow states best when pressed against the wall, when all is at stake, when I'm staring into the face of impending doom. That's when I tap into my awesome survivalist power and become capable of incredible feats
Basically I'm strongly motivated by seeing the bottom and avoiding it not by reaching to the top (of which psychopaths are an extreme example as the ones with tuned dials to the maximum ignore risk and punishment altogether. They are incapable of feeling anxiety.) and always have be it in top level sports, academia, sales or poker. It's just the way I was brought up. Question is whether I just accept that and keep putting pressure on myself in smart ways, manipulating anxiety levels to my advantage as needed, or if I try to slowly change my nature over time and attempt at becoming more gain oriented. The answer probably is a combination of both. This is one of the reasons why I keep checking cashier, and learn the most and put in the most volume when in a downswing or when my BR/making a living is under a threat generally, not when I have the opportunity to gain when I run well and can move up. I have managed to bring my anxiety levels way down this year, and am radically more comfortable with just being myself but the glance into the world of psychopaths showed me that I still have a long way to go.
So what do you guys think - do any of you recognize themselves in this?
I'm assuming the final chapters of the book will shed some light on how one can acquire the positive skills of psychopaths (he got himself made into one temporarily by EMP) , but if you were to bring a long term change to your core not just in poker, but in all aspects of life, how'd you go about it.
Check out this video, some great points especially in terms of scheduling/dedication
I had pals from Scotland/France visiting + PS party with free beer, so after cutting alcohol I was constantly boozin' in it for old times' sake.
Making podcast for pokerstrategy+fun NL2 coaching, dating this cool chick, doing stuff in Prague, gym, social practice, menprovement, mandatory TI5 watching...
And in the midst of it I played just 20k hands of poker in 20 days. I did burn out before then working really hard, and I will remember this summer (marshall, girls, prague, pals visiting, PS party, menprovement stuff, podcast guests...) on my death bed but the main message I got from that vid is that it should all be about this one main thing that has the highest priority first and foremost, and especially when I feel like playing I should drop all else, turn off my phone and just go and put some hours in and do all the other stuff when I don't, just like Jay and his workouts before competition.
So I'm doing a live show with Uri Peleg tomorrow
And as part of it we'll do some heartstone action
So I had to try it as part of the research
It's now 5:41 am and I'm still up ffs.
Priest so op btw
Anyone here playing?
I'll have some struggles with deleting this thing for sure tomorrow :D
First of all I'd like to ask you all a favor:
There's this band, I know 2 of it's members - cool guys. And I want to go to their show in Prague, and if they win it they get a free trip to Spain for a festival.
But to get to the Prague show at "Hard Rock Prague" they need to rank 9th at least in an online vote. And that's where you come in
Click vote. And if they get the 9th I will post pics from the concert in a LP hoodie
January I played some 75k hand at around 2.5bb/100 - mostly zoom without a HUD as it didn't work at the new added limit. But I did loads of stuff too - my aim is to slowly eke out time I spend with watching shows/interneting/movies and replace it with good stuff. It first started as a preparation for my podcast on a guy that has a travelling project where he collects chips from casinos from all around the world - I simply didn't have much to add myself so I went ahead to at least explore places around Prague and take pictures. But it kinda hit me that all have to do is cut time I spend on unproductive stuff and I can keep doing it
So far I've went to monuments, galleries, parks even The National Theatre (worst date idea imaginable btw, it was a modern super confusing and long play). And volume hasn't suffered much cause I take the time from stuff that's not rly poker related.
My mindset has been good since I try to be myself more, accept it and make it better, it's a long way to go tho - still have the tendency to open the internet when I run bad in a session and hide from my real game and revert to button clicking, had to make some corrections after I posted my last batch of hands here . I won't change myself overnight at least I am starting to accept who I am, what my game is and making it better. I had Barry Carter on today on my podcast who wrote the Mental Game of Poker (literally - Jared Tendler's Ideas, Barry did the physical ground work of writing it) and we discussed an article he wrote on too much self-help being harmful: http://www.pokerstrategy.com/news/wor...p-doesn-t-always-work-in-poker_89413/
I am a self confessed self help and over thinking stuff addict and it still will be a journey to drop this ever self challenging, ever changing persona and just focus on putting in the work instead of finding that new me and dropping what I know.
Speaking of podcasts - I still make these laid back Ps community podcasts, you can watch older ones here:
Ok guys. I believe this is it. The golden pill. The Nirvana. The one breakthrough I needed to finally crack all of this and fly to the stars.
And the realization is that there is not golden pill, no nirvana, no one breakthrough to finally do anything.
The events of last few months - the challenge where I pushed myself, gym, personal life events, Drone's post made me realize a very recurring pattern throughout my life.
And that pattern is - no fucking surprise to any of you: I way over complicate and over think things and put pressure on myself. In all aspects of my life.
When I look back at my life, this pattern is so overwhelming and lead to huge pressure on myself but ultimate stagnation in things that were important to me
1) floorball
I was not talented, yet I made it to the Highest Czech division and national junior team at age 16. I was working harder than anyone else, thinking harder than anyone else, always re-inventing my style, looking to improve and change it, even when really small setbacks occurred.
Then the very same thing that got me to the top lead to my ultimate downfall (along with injuries) - I never had MY style. Even at the top when I was fucking awesome, I would continue to change my game, and so was very inconsistent, and the sport was immense pressure for me that I couldn't sustain. So when coach unjustly dropped me for 4 games (no big deal at all in sport rly) and instead of week long school trip I decided to be the only person in class to stay back to train my gear got stolen, I lost my confidence.
And I had no style to fall back on, that'd keep my confidence up and that I could fall back on. Sure, there was no goalie coaching, no mentoring, but my personality trait was a big reason for my downfall - the need to always put pressure on myself, and to always change everything and look for different ways to do things, even when the way I do things now is very very good as it was in my floorball career.
2) University and college
At university, this was a blessing and a curse. Course work was easy for me. I am a very smart guy, not gonna lie, I see patterns very fast and have strong imagination. Case studies, reading tens of sources and then connecting all the bits in them in one quick paper vomit that makes sense of them all - I had all that. I passed classed without studying, just reading around casually. I have written Masters essays in subjects I never studied for money for rich Chinese students, even wrote pretty much the whole postgraduate thesis for my ex-girlfriend.
When I'm so good at it, It all should have been so easy, stress free right? Wrong. At college in Scotland, in a class with divorced mums going back to re-educate themselves, and really cool but not so smart 17y olds I didn't even have to study and I'd pass everything. Yet I was super stressed out, put pressure on myself, and even cheated in a piss easy exam that I had to resit and got 90% with very little study. Same at University - I was good at it, yet I was always super stressed, was late to start exams and was always looking for that extra resource that'd put me above the pack, that extra thing I could learn even when I could simply learn what was in the lectures and get the same grade.
In academia, it lead to me "beating" it and I have no doubt I could study anything successfully, but at the cost of totally unnecessary stress and pressure.
3)Starcraft
I was a decent player, put in a lot of hours, C level PGT. I quickly at start learned the game I read all the guides out there (hello BigBalls :D) and was thinking about the game like many did - theory crafting, always trying to find the strat that makes me unstoppable, always trying gay stuff, and most of all, artificially increasing my apm for the hell of it, again so I can put pressure on myself. 300 APM toss. With 120EAPM wtf :D
Starcraft was very stressful, and yet I put in little hours actually playing compared to time spent with it, and never made it past mediocre teams. I was dodging playing good people quite a bit, when I reached a higher good rank I stopped playing went back to theory crafting etc. Just like in floorball I had fast start then kept changing things and peaked at one level
4)Sales
After uni I decided to work on the one thing I was lacking - social skills. So I jumped into the most uncomfortable thing ever for a nerd gamer
My first sales job was in media monitoring - phone sales to directors etc.
Now what I did was I jumped into reading books, trying to find this new pattern that will finally make me break through, always tried to get systems in. And my manager told me this - I way overthink stuff. It's not about systems, it's about being yourself. You are a great person, that's why we hired you (like 2% ppl got hired for that company) and you put so much pressure on yourself. Well, no shit - notice a pattern? I was super stressed on the job, doing challenges like morning gym, heavy reading into sales on top of the very stressful cold calling, a petrifying thing for someone not used to talking to people at all. So ultimately, I failed.
My second sales job, the pattern re-emerged. My manager was one of the best people I have met, and he influenced me greatly. Nothing would phase him. His motto was positive attitude, he always had a smile on his face. He'd work hard, at his own pace, was literally, would not allow negative people to come to his life, and even when people he managed came in with excuses, whiny he'd just walk away and tell them to come back when they regained their attitude.
The whole year was an amazing experience for me. I was one of the guys who was the most motivated, had the best education and was the only one always reading books on sales, and listening to tapes for countless hours, tried to change my methods over and over again. This worked very well at start again. But I never settled on just agreeing with "fuck, I am good enough, I enjoy being good enough" and reduce stress, do what I do and just be myself. Bo (my manager) told me this - again that I am a great person, just be that person you learned shitloads there is no reason for me to change, and he wished I could see that too.
Again I quickly in weeks rose to above average in the company, but stayed there as I was putting pressure on myself, changing stuff and never made it to the top 5% in this field where the rewards increase exponentially with success and reaching targets. And the guys that learned a system and just accepted it and worked on making it better without changing it rose above me, even with lower intellect and work ethic.
5) Relationships
My last one and the end of it really is a big part that made me connect the dots today. Again it was great at start - I got back to dating besides one night stuff after a looong break I was reading books on female psychology, even read a Romantic fantasy novel(those things are like emotional porn for girls :D) and even looked at some dating coaches . Now looking back the very same pattern that has emerged in sales, I kept doing what I always do - always having theories, thinking about what the other person is thinking, challenges, trying new things even 6 months into it I was never really okay with being myself, her being her, never opened up, hardly ever just was "there" without over thinking about stuff that was no issue at all. I put enormous pressure on myself, and especially in the last few months I wasn't really there for her, never really could just hang out and have fun without any thought, write stuff just because. Wanting her more and caring lead to what I have done with so many things and eventually drove her away.
There was no way this could work, or even know if it COULD work as what I was doing never allowed for opening us to each other, especially with the added pressure I put on myself with . . .
Poker
Fuck, where can I start? Drone made me really thinking (as I always do :D). It will come as no surprise to any of you who follow me over the years, even without seeing this blog.
In poker, I went from NL2 to NL50 and supernova with UK promotion in 6 months. Just read my blog. I was learning religiously, always trying to find new theories, have seen every video out there, and spent a lot of time theory crafting. Hell - look at my freaking post count :D
Just like in floorball, poker, dating, starcraft the pressure I put on myself and the quest for new theories put me quickly at the above average level, and the very same thing also made sure I stay there, with immense pressure added.
I guess I needed a slap in the face to realize this. But I play micros. I cash out a lot. I think more and work harder off and on the tables than any regular at my stakes, and I'd be surprised if that wasn't true. Because the others that try this hard...don't keep playing the stakes I do. Poker is stressful for me because I make it that way as I did with other things. I always try to find new ways to play, change my game even during sessions, watch all videos out there and I think all of you that spoke to me know that my theoretical knowledge is way WAY above what you'd expect from a player playing my stakes. I am able to balance this with focus on mindset, excercise, positive stuff off the tables but again my desire to challenge myself, put pressure on myself, to find that golden pill "if I find this new thing I'll break through" are always there. This leads to procrastination, stress, more tilt, and lower happiness really.
And I am doing great positive things and think positively and work on my well being, but instead of them helping me skyrocket they just are a must to balance the pressure I put on myself.
So yeah, there you have it. Many of you have told me this over the years, but I have never listened. Because it's such a big part of who I am, and always was - the need to put pressure on myself, to always get better leads to me paradoxically learning very fast at start then stagnate and be stressed from thereon after where the theories start clashing, I keep changing who I am what I do and am never satisfied with myself or spend time to just be okay with who I am and focus on making it better and developing it instead of changing it.
I beat micros at 6bb/100. I am good at it, I don't need to learn new things, I am a great person and I don't need to worry about anything or change my game whatsoever besides thinking about the hands in progress and do a database and own range+ hh correction once in a while, realize what my game actually is and then develop it slowly without adding new theories, and trying to overhaul it.... Even after a downswing, I feel down yet all I need is to do what I do, put in the hours and... just play...solid, just focus on my game, just be me.
All I need to do is be myself, and believe that that's just great and enough, and for once focus on becoming my best self without trying to change it, to challenge it,to over think it or try to find the new golden pill.
Can I do it? Only time can tell. I guess realization is the first step.
Long story short. I failed.
December:
+ breakeven ish on stake on another site.
I lost 5 full days so didn't really have a chance. But I'm fine with that, they were spent with the people I love and I didn't expect to have the opportunity to be with them. Sometimes real people are more important than challenges.
In last 18 days (last 2 days going for new year's party. Felt weird before as I didn't know anyone there, but then met the people and will know most of them and they are pretty cool guys so decided to go)
Played 80hrs
went to gym fourteen times
drank alcohol just once at the lady's family dinner - a toast so I don't look like a weirdo.
No dirty movies of any kind whatsoever
I will ship $20 to Devon, and now taking a couple days off for New Year's.
I am happy with how I played except last couple days where the variance just got to me. I cut tables this month played attentive, but ran bad AIEV and normal pots too.
I watched vids quite a bit, love Paul "internet" Otto ones'. Worked on preflop ranges, had a sesh with one of you awesome liquidpoker crushers that opened my eyes to how much more I need to work with my solid game, especially if I ever want to get back to Zoom games.
Points learned/going forward: 1) turning off skype/phone/internet is huge
- The days where I had just poker and the gym and my head was clear were the best ones.
- I need to be able to clear my head, and turn off skype/phone/net and just grind. It's more fun too when I do that I even had a couple 4hour A-/B+ game session. Awesome!
I put on this http://www.internet-radio.com/station/ambientradio/ and want to find background hypnosis music to calm myself down and think more as an alternative.
2)reciprocality
- It's not about what you do, or what they do. It's both. When I managed to believe that my long term winrate is not how I run but how I react to the bad run compared to how other people would, I kept a healthy mindset. When I gave in, opened more tables than I should, opened a video while grinding I reverted to the animalistic immediate results oriented mindset I felt bad and played worse. The very fact that I posted that graph proves that. I managed to stay on track until the very last few days.
It'a about everything really - all I have to do is focus more, sleep better, eat better, exercise more, work on my game more than others and focus on that and I will do well. When I focus on events instead of my reactions to the events I start to get tilted and my mood and motivation drops and procrastination increases.
More on this here: http://tommyangelo.com/articles/reciprocality/
It's not at the tables that counts, but off them too
This is really big as well. There were days where I was working for literally 24 hours.
- poker
- naps (with hyonosis at times)
- gym
- work on ranges
- listening to motivational audio
- just sitting in quiet
- quality sleep.
and those days I felt my fucking best. I want to carry this over not only to poker, but my entire life going forward. Basically do things that are good for me, live my life by the clock most of the time and find the time for the good stuff like quality time with people I love, sleep, relaxation - and see it all as part of the greater picture that is effectiveness and happiness in life.
And the days where I felt the best is those that felt the most simple too. When I play poker, I play poker. When I meditate, I meditate, when I relax, I relax and enjoy it to the max, when I am with the people I love, I am with them and all other worries are gone. I always feel the more I do this, the better I am and that has more to do with life than poker.
Now I want to delete that graph but I'll leave it here - until I looked at it a couple days back I played well and felt good. It's just a past result that has no meaning in the present, especially not in the hand in progress that I have to play my best at and nothing else matters.
Mindset
- I listened to Paul McKenna, Jack canfield, Zig Ziglar every day. Especially Paul Mckenna shows you how stupid the brain is and you can feel however the hell you want, and it almost makes me dumb for ever feeling bad :D Today I feel shitty and yeah - I didn't listen to any of that stuff. It works, it shows you practices on how to increase confidence instantly but as you all know when you feel bad you tend to gravitate towards negativity or distractions and this positive stuff that helps a ton is the last thing you jump to do.
- I failed in relaxing, and overloaded my brain for sure. The more sessions I play, the more relaxation I need to put in, and the EV of meditation/naps/breaks increases dramatically. I am yet to get this and it's really hard when I play longer hours more hands I tend to need more stimuli in the brain.
Scheduling
It was good to keep track of my progress
although at times I definitely should have taken breaks as my mindset was bad in very bad sessions and instead I kept going focusing on hours too much which hurt my EV. When all I had to do is take a 5 minute break. Gym/no alcohol/no P goals are great though no drawbacks of keeping track. I might keep having hour targets but just have forced breaks even when it's 5 minutes.
No drinking challenge
I have literally never in my life went out with people and was sober. Until now - I went to party 2x and 2x didnt drink a drop. it's great for the gym, and gym's great for no drinking as I have more energy. It's also fucking bizarre seeing how people change after alcohol, that you remember everything and the 3am ride in tram with all the bloodshot eyed people, people arguing like retards for no reason (I've witnessed an argument for 40 minutes about smn eating a slice of pizza on the tram, and almost everyone got involved :D)
I will do this more often, it's fun. Somehow hangovers were simmilar, I substituted booze for caffeine tho
Gym
if I didn't go away from home cause of holidays and new years the 20/20 is totally realistic when you count light cardio sessions and keep variety. I will keep this up for sure.
Caffeine
sucks.
it's cheating
that makes me more stressed.
pretty sure it has negative impacts on serotonin levels
I am off it completely now, lesson learned.
poker game
implemented rigorous color coding. dark green small fish, light green whale. if one of em is behind me I 3x all positons, if none are I 2.2X BU, 2.5X CO and I might lower UTG MP sizes too now. I did it all month and it works well and you can to it automatically not think about it conciously when you do it enough.
Vs aggro regs I have default preflop ranges I stick to. I revert to them when I want to play back at someone/small samples/when someone pisses me off
Need to do a 3bet/call 3bet for HU too
and vs 4bet in SB v BU, that shit's hard as fuck tho.
Against regs without blatant leaks that seem like they can hand read some I always look at what value combos I have and decide how many bluff combos I should add and if my hand should be one of them to control my game.
JANUARY
No 2015 goals. Survival mode ftw. This is a hardcore challenge and I don't even have to make an official challenge. I have to do well pretty much, I will give it my all as last couple months have been very tough, spent money on Xmas, ran bad etc.
I have another podcast coming up I need to prepare for. I will play a lot more on the stake, I will keep up with the gym and I will run my life by the clock more, and make sure I make room for plenty of fun, socialising and quality relaxation instead of zombie watching dota/facebook/random chat convos
Well, thanks for reading LP, was a long rant, but a great experience for me. I'm off for a 2 day retreat to a cottage in the woods for New Year's with 7 other people including the best girl in the world
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