Damn addicted to her streams, they are somehow very relaxing.
She has an acute tourettes, but has a great life philosophy, it's pretty inspirational actually.
And yes it is a disability but hilarious at the same time, she seems to be okay with people laughing at it
I just love to hear unique's people's stories and she's definitely one of them
When in your poker routine is a gym if you could go any time and it were 5 minutes from your place.
my thoughts; + Show Spoiler +
I do poker 8am to 6-7pm
And then have either social activities or workout in the evening, often both
But am considering switching gym to mornings
It'd mean waking up an hour early
Drawback would be that I'd be like a fucking cinderella when dancing, socialising, dating etc. as I'd hit a massive tired wall around 9-10pm and my mood turn into a pumpkin, when I do gym=>social stuff after grind I always get a few hours of energy from the pump
Positive is gym energy carries over into poker, but I've never been able to maintain morning gym for longer than a few months, half a year max
I guess I could alternate and on off gym days wake up later
But I find a rigid schedule way easier to turn into autopilot
Just wondering for you experienced guys - when the best time it's been for you to put work out in your routine to max energy for poker and life ev alike that you've been consistently able to sustain long term without burnouts?
The best of 15 years of Trance in 5 hours
EDIT: I had no idea, just having my grind session, movie soundtracks like Oblivion are awesome, but can get a tad distracting.
So here, I got the idea! I used to listen to Thrillseekers while studying for my degree, why not slap their podcast on!
So download it blindly I put it on during a sesh
and go like
"uuhmmm yeah I like this
"hang on this sounds familiar"
"All trance sounds the same that's probably it dude, keep grindin'"
"No hang on I've definitely heard THIS one before"
check the website
"15 Years of trance, best of set"
and started dancing around my room, felt nostalgic as fuck when I paid attention to the set
The very second song is the one from Human Traffic soundtrack from the kiss for example
Being a poker pro gives you this amazing possibility and drive to explore new things, every single one of you probably thinks back about your career
And how great it was to have the flexibility to explore the world when you want, but as you work on your own you actually get to have the drive left to socialize and do exciting things with people YOU want instead of being drained by interactions from coworkers and clients.
And how stupid you were if you didn't grab the possibility and make the most of it as all of us fail to do at certain periods.
But enough of the passive aggressive jabs at you quitters who won't run sims with me a post hands and such
Well one of these nights I decided to go to a nuclear physics faculty (or whatever the hell it's called, I'm.sure you'll correct me)
First I tasted a pretty delish ice cream made by liquid nitrogen, seriously the guy was cooking it up, nitrogen spewing everywhere looked like a magic potion
But turned out to be just a way cooler looking fridge
I then proceeded to witness a genius burning magnesium, and with his cool science joke he proceeded to demonstrate how dry ice will put the fire out, it doesn't. Instead it starts to resemble and exploding star and bloody blinded me instead.
And then my hand was on GODDAMN WILD FIRE! As I was the only volunteer who allowed his hands to be set ablaze by a substance I didn't ask about, but that burned at low temperatures. Pretty sure this was the stuff used in movies before CGI
Ad then the finále, a lecture of complex states in physics applied to neuropsychology.
And hence lies the meat of the blog - I'm fucking cringing every time Tutz pulls shit like vibration or energy or higher states of consciousness in esoteric terms, when these people thing they are special, almost better than you dumb-asses trying to apply logic to unexplainable things, and simply using the mentions terms as these placeholders for shit they don't understand. #Go Science!
I've been meditating off and on for 10 years now, done Kwan-um-zen, read a bunch of books and ain't no esoteric shit there that can't be explained. And the most interesting piece of the lecture were MRI scans that were taken from subjects who were performing various activities, including induced Psychedelic states by substances found in shrooms under controlled conditions.
And the interesting thing that came up is that the part of the brain during both Psychedelic resting phase, where you don't think or do about anything at all actually lights up the most has most blood flow etc. And every time you actively try to think solve problems work etc. You're basically forcing the brain away from the ares that light up the most and are the most powerful. A theory might be that it's simple into have a problem to solve you're likely to also need your body etc. So the parts needed allocate less resources toothed high resource intensive brain.
While at resting time it let's the resting state brain go nuts. This resting state brain is also high in entropy
- Imagine it as a much wider bandwidth of information, with much higher levels of chaos also that's caused by the increased number of simple systems /neurons that get actively connected together and cause complexity and chaos.
It's induced by psychedelics, near death experiences and I presume also deep meditation.
And therefore lie lessons, if you want your brain to think harder, stop trying to actively think harder but induce a resting phase by whatever means you see fit.
And when you have the esoteric experiences, and start pulling shit like vibrations spirit animals that you think came to you from the netherworld know it's just the powerful part of the brain with high bandwidth and high chaos that's creating the things that are coming to you and allows you to create and pick them out of there, much like the mind if of child, someone with near death experience, or that dude you've seen high on shrooms on your last Couchella
For the first time in literally years
I had my eyes glued to the monitor, laughed, sang along, paused to think and appreciate what just happened, cried first with laughter (grandma passage in the audience), then actually fucking cried (you'll know when guaranteed if you know SNL cast member's past vaguely), the 1.15hours passed like 10 minutes
and this came...
This fucking guy I could barely stand
Seriously, you have to check this out if you have netflix, don't watch previews, don't watch nothing, just click play with an open mind.
I also had one of the most surreal nights of my life yesterday, I actually am gonna sit down and write it down thing by thing for myself just to remember everything that happened, it was insane coincidences happening, and me just laughing in awe all night at what's unravelling. But that's a story for me that you wouldn't nearly appreciate, 100% Fresh however you can, and I hope you will be as shocked as I am that this over the top unfunny guy (in recent years at least) can produce something like this
Also I'm getting some Poker Merch from Aliexpress for the gym + stream
Maybe even to become an instagram pro? (I tried posting real life shit as I love taking pictures, but it's such a timewaster, deleted the app as I realized I don't need no likes from people to be happy, and followers weren't growing much)
Maybe one day when I'm tired of grinding and coaching online and switch to live and I want to build my brand + get side money that way it might be useful to maintain instagram.
Thoughts on these?
Share your links for your own cool pokerwear i can get if I ever decide to become an instagram pro
whatever that means
You learn by making mistakes, and I feel like this is one of the time to grow.
In life when it comes to money, I've been always happy living paycheck to paycheck because you know what - it felt liberating, it felt safe...
It felt... Like I have nothing to lose, like I need to work hard and not even think about it, like my path is very straightforward and I've always found a way.
Lately, that's changed, suddenly I left the safe environment that I'm used to, started making more than I can possibly spend with my habits and view of the world, where the expensive things people buy just seem like futile waste of money especially for me used to broke living. Sure, the Crypto bear sure has helped out but I'm finding myself in an unfamiliar territory that brings...
I fear losing what I have. I'm proud of what I have, what I play. I started focusing on money, even setting things like I will use 10% of my winnings last month to pay for a holiday for me and my gf(which I did). I started tying my identity to my bank account, to limits I play and the money I win. I started setting short ter goals, what if I make 10k this month, visualised how that'd feel, how I'd move up, how proud would I be.
But then reality hit. On my way up eating ramen I always powered through nad runs, breakeven stretches. Even having to borrow money from my friend who was helping me out didn't feel as stressful as breaking even this month. You may say lol that's poker breakeven 15 days bother you, then this game's not for you.
But I've been winning month after month, week after week and slowly but surely I've built up attachment, built expectation and somewhere I started focusing on results rather than the process.
Letting go of attachmemt.
And then it got me thinking, once upon a time I was really big on meditation and kwan-um-zen
The most frequent question you ask yourself there is "who am I? " during meditation. I also remembered Tommy Angelo, the wise man I once had on my podcast and whose eightfold path to poker enlightenment I devoured a few times.
And again I started realising the series of attachments, the tying ropes of identity that both ties and imprisons your in your own expectations and views of self.
When I text this girl I'm attached to an outcome of a fast reply. My body looks like X so people will perceive my like Y. Looking certain way should make me feel good/bad. I've studied the hardest in a long time last week, I put in the focused hours so now I expect a great result at the tables. I tie my self respect and identity to the limits I play,money I have and losing that would threaten for me to lose that identity.
The way of enlightenment.
So what to do about it? Well for me the first thing is always awareness, be aware I've become attached to the results and that by itself allows me to let go to an extent because of the absurdity of many of these attachments.
Other things are focusing on the process, and then letting go - you've text that girl. You played that session, your body is what it is and you just had a gym session. None of those things you can do anything about so thinking, worrying, being overly attached to them is pure futility.
What actually matters is DOING what you do, RIGHT NOW RIGHT HERE with your time. And if you used it wisely that's all you can do, you've done well, and the outcome is not what matters.
The the thing about this all of course is that if there would be no attachments at all then there would be no motivation or will to actually be part of the modern human world. Most of the pursuits of the modern civilisation also require attachment and bring suffering. But you do have to CARE in order to DO, otherwise you'd become siddhartha and finally find the meaning of life being peaceful with staring at the river for eternity.
I guess there needs to be a middle ground, for me it always has been long term goals, more like targets long time in the future I can judge my present actions by, but short term results seem insignificant in the lens of me a year from now
Previously it's been to get to where I actually am now, why losing it all suddenly became this huge pressure, a break even week after studying hard a stressful experience, the long term goal became NOW, THIS WEEK, THIS SESSION.
So I sit down, re-evaluate, get that long term lens going on again so I focus on actions...Instead of short term results.I also started doing bookkeeping a good friend taught me to bring more rationality into my finances.
And just bring that awareness of futile attachment back, which makes it easier to let go, which makes it smoother to focus on the only thing that really matters - this moment and what I do with it.
And since my morning poop,where I type a blog on my phone is over, it's time to make breakfast.
I was plying too many tables, 6 I think (usually I play 3-4) already feeling anxious and then finallty I hit a set multiway
Get it all-in, 88 vs 66 on 86X all happy as he shows 66
But then on the river...King
And he flips over...Kings somehow even though he's already shown 66, and I lose just feeling shitty, day's ruined, how can this happen
It all felt completely real, but then . . .I woke up
It took me a while to realize it actually didn't happen, the feelings were so real!
After so many years, I still play around NL5
And although living off microstakes and eating ramen has been fun, but I'm 31 now and it's time to stop.
I want to thank you all on LP for supporting me, my last couple hands really opened my eyes.
Thank you for the words of wisdom
This site gave me a lot, and i will never forget all the support.
It's time for a stable job at last, Luckily I don't have to go too far.
Recently I've climbed all the way up to Ancientin Dota so will give my shot streaming and grinding the MMR, and surely become a pro within months when I stop putting so much futile effort into microstakes poker, and I will have a steady profession at last that society respects.
Thank you, and best of luck in whatever you do, this is my goodbye.
I've never really been one to use pre-session routines.
Feel like playing, tables are there?
Fuck yea I'm not wasting my time, let's jump in!
But let's face it, my volume has either been less than stellar to say the least if I play in a great state only.
Or great but quality would falter, and I used to be in this ever lasting hype/burnout cycle until I started 3-4 tabling over a year ago.
Well you know what?
Maybe it is time to do more cheesy shit that the mental coaches tell you to do.
As Zig ziglar said, it is much easier to stay up than get up.
Is motivation permanent? Well of course not, but neither is bathing and he's always said he hopes people don't give up on that either.
What triggered this though? Well I downloaded a Sia album for grinding
And here there it was, this gem of a song:
There is something about hearing the words and then seeing the lyrics on screen and singing along that really pushes it into your brain.
I started being that crazy person you definitely don't want to work out at the gym next to.
Hogging the elyptical machine
Breathing heavier than a poodle trying to pork Lassie
Headphones in ignoring everything besides the sweaty butts of people and couples playing squash on the court downstairs
And singing his madman karaoke to a song only he hears
While fistpumping the air, bobbing to the rhytm and drumming on the controls.
And you knwo what? I love it, I did the same in the morning today.
ignore everything else, put the song to the screen and sing and dance like a madman,
with an unplugged microphone in my hand.
and here you go - I'm ready to conquer the day and take on the world.
If only I could remember next time I'm on my way down so I can just stay up instead of trying to get up