byrnesam's picture blog

If i put this onto t-shirts would you guys buy them?

Possible nike lawsuit but it would be worth it.

17 votes

Comments (29)

court is so fucking lol

i was the best dressed person in the building (as usual)

I walk through the door and this rough lookin guy who smelt of fags waited for me to walk through - i just let the door close behind me rather than hold it open for him.

he goes

"THANKS..." stood about 6inches from a closed door.

If you got door problems i feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but a door aint one.

Anyway this incident kept me amused and i sat outside courtroom 2 waiting for my name to be called. I started to get worried coz i had no idea which courtroom i was menna be waiting outside of but thought id just gamble and leave it up to chance.

Since i run so good, obv. i was outside the right courtroom. Get my name called and they offer me diversion. which means i get no conviction if i comply with some po-po stuff.

I look at my charges and theyre trying to pin me for 3 months in prison and a $2500 fine - bit heavy handed that one.

Go into an office with 5-0 and they ask me about that night etc.

I told him i was still studying accounting (which obv. is a lie since ive dropped out coz im a bum) - but my chances of getting off lightly were better if i didnt say i was an unemployed degenerate gambler with a borderline drinking problem.

I see some photos of my damage and some other stuff.

Once again, i run so good that none of the glass panels broke so it was just a case of putting them back into place.

$200 fine and letter of appology to the bus stop company.

sweet suckout.

1 votes

Comments (11)

First order of business, some rare poker news.

Brag: rolled for nl25
Beat: taken me far too long to hold on to a bankroll
Variance: 5 hours of playing on the final run

So now i can really start ballin' wit all kinds of mad shit.

things to do:
- buy pokertracker
- learn how to use it
- ball out

---------

The post-session dreams i had:

I had a dream which involved JonnyCosMo. Hed told me he had been on a website about photoshopping and it had suggested he emailed me for help or another guy called Anonagram.

I went and found this Anonagram and he was in this mad cult. We were all in a field and Anonagram got kicked out the cult coz he didnt have a dad. I was against cults and soon the leader started fighting me.

I run off

Cut scene then and its me and CosMo playing basketball (I swear this is true) against the cult.

Cosmo was pretty good i can remember he scored at least 6 points, meanwhile id only managed a lay-up for 2. They deffinatly had more players than us though.

I also had a dream about Werzal Gummage looking down at me from a hole in the ceiling



He looked way scarier though. It was really wierd coz i completely froze when i saw him with fingers in my mouth clenching down on them.

------


a picture of me, chairhattin'.

I was kind of shy about posting a picture of myself but then i thought it cant be any worse than milkmans


It fitted gooooood

1 votes

Comments (6)

So me and my mate are coming home from the bar when we decide to commit some crime.

We were pretty fuckin smashed so it seemed like a good idea. Then i see the campus security car drive past and i leg it off into the bushes, my friend was further down the road.

He got persued home by security guard then he bailed into some hedges and made it home safe.

However, i was about to take a bad beat in getting home.

Im walking down like 20m from my house. Cop car pulls up - fuck.


Cop 1: Quite young, athletic looking. He was calm when he was questioning me although he was using leading questions about crime which i didnt like.

He asks for my drivers licence so i give it to him. I only have a UK licence so its got my UK address on it.

Our conversation went something like this:

Cop: Where do you live?
Me: Sorry?
Cop: Where do you live?
Me: All my info is on my licence
Cop: Thats your UK address, whats your address here?
Me: All my info is on my licence.

There were now like 4 cops on the scene, 2 cop wagons and the campus security guard

ENTER COP 2!

Cop 2: Fat old cunt tried to pull the whole "tough cop" routine on me. He hears my conversation and runs over and starts yelling in my face

I continue to respond with "All my info is on my licence"

cop2: DO YOU WANNA BE ARRESTED? WHATS YOUR ADDRESS!?!?
me: all my info is on my licence......

i get thrown against the car LOL

he puts the handcuffs on me and then shouts "WHATS YOUR HOME ADDRESS"

I just look at him and he gives up.

I get put into the back of the car (rear passenger side). Im sitting there and the cops are outside (rear drivers side)

I decide that I could probably make a break for it - so i shuffle along and undo my seatbelt and prepare to escape to victory. Unofrtunatly cop 1 saw me shuffling around and sat in the car with me.

He was filling out forms and i decided it was time to abuse him.

me: I used to bully kids like you when i was at school
cop: oh really?
me: yeah i bet you couldnt fuckin wait to become a cop so you get some power
cop: youre just a loser (i believe this statement to be false)
me: your the loser, id have beaten you up at school and chucked your backpack in the bin

I think then i started to just talk shit to him when he read my rights so hopfully theyd read it out in court. I remember telling him to write down "Rainkhan is good at basketball" but i dunno if he bothered.

I cant remember where the conversation went from there but i remember telling him to beat me up and that he could hit me in the face and stuff lol

So - back to the po po station. They lead me in and im fuckin around still

Theyre getting my possessions off me and im being an arse

First they questioned me about where i got $30 in $2 coins. I think i told them i robbed somebody at first, then told them Id won it on the slot machines (truth) coz i run so hot

The cop couldnt undo my belt buckle and i refused to tell him how to do it - i just told him whether he was hot or cold.

When my belt came off i wiggled about so my trousers fell down around my ankles then proceeded to gyrate around infront of the cops with my tongue out pussy lickin' style.

Then I started to french kiss the glass and tongueing the holes you have to talk through as the cop was sorting out my stuff infront of me

Being that i wasnt getting enough attention - i spat through the little hole. Got some good veloicity on it and managed to hit the lockers

Got shouted at a bit by the other cops then they decided it was time to scare me

Cop: Were gonna put you in with George
me: sweet
cop: george doesnt like white guys - hes gonna have so much fun with you tonight
me: all good man lets go

I get led to georges cell and they open the door. Hes some huge fuck and he was fast asleep. I didnt care and i went to walk in. Naturally they pulled me away and took me to my own cell.

It had all the mod cons youd expect. Toilet, sink, cups, 2 beds, matress.

I coma out and wake up and ive got a free breakfast from them.

I eat that and bang on the doors some more trying to get them to set me free but they tell me i have to wait

Then they bring me out, take my fingerprints and give me a mug shot. Then i get given my shit back.

I ask for a lift home but they dont oblige so i walk around for a bit then find a bus stop and get the bus home.


Court this thursday. should be fun.

brag: have now done time in the joint
beat: criminal record
variance: didnt get shanked

Does anyone else on the site have a record?

liquidcriminals.net

2 votes

Comments (29)

1 votes

Comments (8)

Dear byrnesam,

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Sam Byrne
YOU KNOWZ IT
NEW ZEALAND

Please verify that all details of this order are correct,
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YES

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GENIUS PURCHASE!

1 votes

Comments (9)

I get into trouble for breaking something that belongs to her...



she wasnt happy with me. full episode to come.

1 votes

Comments (5)

she is fucking gorgeous

10 votes

Comments (31)

2 votes

Comments (10)

further beats endured tonight, all of this is true:

2 votes

Comments (15)