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It all started when my ex gf ( The psycho one) did call me few days ago.
After we broke our relationship she moved to Austria and i did move back to my parents house till i would find a new room for myself.
So basicaly the last 2 month i have been living with my parents in a small city
First weeks werent too bad since my Sister did visit for holidays (she lives 300km away from my parents for studying in another city)
She is only 1 year younger than me (i am 25) and we havent seen each other more than like 2 times wihtin 2010. ( I was living with my GF in Nurnberg and she was living with her boyfriend few hours away)
So the first 2 weeks in my parents house living with my sister were kinda okayish since we did get drunk all day and "partied" like crazy
Also watching "how i met your mother" drunk at 3am in teh morning while eating pizza and stuff.
Well after my breakup with my GF i did drink a whole lot to be honest.
I basically got totally wasted 4 times a week
I Also played a lot of poker and had some decent success in terms of improving my game and making some monez.
First 3 days in December i made +280$ on Nl25 grinding like a champ ^^
I did party pretty good almost every evening and also had some fun with girls
New MMA season was about to start and overall i felt pretty amazing.
Things changed with a phone call...
My EX GF called me from Austria saying she still loves me and wants another chance and i should move to austria since its so much better than germany and we could become happy and stuff.
Well i dont know whats wrong with me ... but the minute i heared her voice i felt such a strong desire to be with her that all my rational alarming systems that this girl is a total psycho fell apart.
We talked a lot and i temprarily fell in love again.
I was daydreaming of being happy with her again. Holding her in my arms and feeling her warmth.
We agreed that i visit her in Austria and that she could visit me in Germany when i move to my new place
Everyting felt so good Me is a big time idiot !
few days later she totally freaked out since she apparently found a picture of me having fun with another girl at google ???WTF
Then she started to rant who all this new girls in my facebook friendlist are and that i should delete some of them....
She totally went on rampage and started berating me and all got very ugly.
ALl my hopes vanished and my soul broke ...
I felt so down. I just wanted to walk to the edge of the universe and then fall of the abyss and fall for 1h till i burst in 1000 peaces and be dead ... Thats what i felt like.
Nothing did make any sense anymore and i felt like i have to hurt myself or i cant bear the preassure on my soul.
I opend up a few poker tables and randomly shoved pf till my 280$ profits were down to breakeven again. ( dindt take longer than half an hour^^)
did feel even more depressed after that and havent played more than 500 hands since then ....
Whatever it is , but this girl and me having ugly arguments destroys my soul !
Another thing is that since my sister is back where she lives i am alone with my parents in a big house in a small city where absolutely nothing ever happens...
my parents wake up at 6am and go to bed at 9.30pm german time. My father is at work most hours of the day and my mother is away being involved in all kind of christian activities during the day.
So its me in a big house being alone with no other soul of around my age reachable within the next 30 minutes (30 minutes by car)
facebook and liquidpoker are my only social contacts.
It really starts depressing me However i will move into my new room to nurnberg(where i lived before) on 20th of Janurary
I think things will become a lot better again when i am back to where my friends live.
Another thing is that my MMA training did start again which since i am still living with my parents now is 35-40 car minutes away
( single distance) instead of 10 minutes with bike when i lived in Nurnberg
Its kinda anoying when you are used to almost living next to the gymn.
Another thing is that since i started training again i completely stopped alcohol.
I think getting drunk every day and smoking shisha like a madman did make living "alone" in an isolated small city a lot easier
Besides that i am kinda unhappy with girl situation.
I still have such strong feelings for a girl that is very bad for me ...
I did make out a lot with girls from the small city the last weeks but tbh it kinda sucked....
There are only few girls and they are semi-ugly ..... Since there are only so few girls they however think they are beautiful....due to every guys in that city being used to this kinda ugly girls...
Its like i need to have some fun with girls (everyone needs some love) but i am not really enyoing it too much
Into 2011
was too drunk from new years party all December 1
So i did grind my sheadule for 1st and 2nd december today
Run kinda bad but also did some things wrong in some spots , too
+ i tilted away ~2bi...
nevertheless
made 75$ +11 Bonus from FPP + ~ 552 VPP
did lose 3.30$ in Tourneys
So overall i did net value ~ +85$ today
This means i am ahead of my January pace.
which is 1,5K hands a day and 26$ average profits/day (800$ month net)
yay after yesterdays session i did sit down today again and practice some theory what i might do wrong.
I also dl leakbuster application and run through my hands.
did make out some things i did wrong and started a session
I feel like i finally know again how to win at micros 6max
compare that to yesterday
So far i still do some things wrong , but i am happy i finally did notice why those regs are breakeven forever and what to do different.
Lets see how it will work out 2011
edit
GL ALL
overall month i am only up ~ +140$
pretty much a fail if i dont bank big next month ^^
<3 edit +210$ now
Hm allthough i changed some things i am still not really happy with my NL25 6max results.
Well -5BI in 9K hands isnt anything too spectacular and can easily be variance or something considering i did get some sick shit in those sessions.
However what worries me a bit is that i searched almost all the regulars i played with in this 9K hands
And all of them !
are breakeven/slight losers forever
those are the guys who play 17/14/2 5% 3bet pf and are generally what i did consider solid ... since they did show up with premium hands when all in 90% of the time.
I am mainly curious to whom all the money goes thoes regulars do not make.
Well seems like a joke but there are only like 20! people on Pokerstars who win decently at Nl25 ....
wtf
Figured some things out
Games have changed massivly and i think i finally adapted.
I always tried to beat the games the style i learned when watching leggo poker 16month ago
16 month ago i had two decent NL50 months at Ipoker -> + 1500$ and + 1350$ within 40K hands total.
well this style simply does not work anymore.
Did some adjustements and so far allthough i am playing really bad in some spots overall i feel i finally figured out how to win at this game again.
Overall month results are still bullshit though
edit
+ 149$ in 37h of play ^^ Yay hourly
will reach goldstar though ( 560 hands of NL25 left )
GL all and happy new year
Btw sad fact when i ptr some of the regs i played it the last days i noticed that they all more or less have the same patterns.
1.) Did play a few K hands higher (Nl100-Nl400 with hughe swings in the past (~ 1 year ago)
2.) Now giant nitz at Nl25 mostly platinum stars who play all day
Being a 15/12/2 Nit at Pokerstars NL25 is definitely not gonna make any profits.
every single platinum reg i searched had those stats and results T_T
Worst part is that atm i am kinda similar to them ...
I really hope my recet thoughs make me a profitable game at these stakes ...
I have been breakeven in Poker for damn too long
2 days ago i did make a post that i am not sure if i can achhieve Goldstar status this month.
2 days and 11K hands laterz i am 99% sure its easily doable for me .P
Got back into cashgame and i am really eager to get back into this stuff and only playing sngs casually on the side.
those 11K hands made for 1200VPP and time did fly by no problem
today i managed to profit +100$ within 4h and 4100 hands of NL25 cashgame on pokerstars ( 10tabling mostly)
So after yesterdays Nl10 deep desaster where i lost 18bi ( 10$) and run 90$ below Allin-EV
today i got into some profitable spots and all in ev was just 10$ below net winnings ( hurray)
I have 10 days left where i can play pokerz and need a total of 1400VPP is needed
-> doable in 5 days without problems i guess
I am now +141$ atfer 8 days total in the green this month and aim for like 400-600$ profits
Besides that i am really looking forward to 2011
Trying to become semi professional in MMA ( hope to get a nice contract) and do at lesat 4 cagefights
I also will graduate from university after 5 years of studing sports science
+ I am single male athlete which means 2011 cant be as bad as 2010 concerning girls where i was in a relationship with the most extreme girl i ever met in my life
GL ALL
Here one of my favourite songs
Love their music
Insane good song if u are into heavy deep atmospheric music
However i will move into my new room to nurnberg(where i lived before) on 20th of Janurary 
