:)

Last few days i took a small break from poker, reviewed my game, I think I got a lot leaks to fix, and read a bit in theory on twoplustwo and here. I gained new motivation to play by doing this, so I decided to try to play a session today, since my goal is to play a lot of hands, and I feel the 2-3 days break from Poker were enough.

So i started my session, full of motivation and it started out really well! I was in the plus very fast, without winning any big pots, was just running over anybody. But then, I got some setups, set vs set, and 2nd nutflush vs nutflush, and dropped all the money within a few hands again. Definately a bad feeling, normally I wouldn't stop playing, but since my BR is so small now, and I feel really stressed to lose much I decided it would be better to call it quits before I might start tilt or anything. Oh well, i netted -6$, so i am quite disappointed. Gonna play another session later, see how that goes.

Graph from today's session.


Monthly graph, as you see, it's even worse than before.

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Yeehaw, the old tiltmonkey in me is back. And it feels like I cant beat him.... everytime I make a decision he already pressed on the wrong button. The funny thing is, I can play concentrated for days, and make the right moves, but the tiltmonkey can destroy everything in just a few MINUTES. I cant put my anger towards myself in words right now. I played so fucking much today and could have ended up ALOT in the greens, I even could have turned the bad month into a winning one, because at one time I really won a lot in a very short time. But instead of keeping it, I slowly tilt it away first... and then I tilt it away like a fcking retard fuckhead and make this an actual losing day. Within 20 minutes i lost all, twice.

AWEJFPIAJWEFIOJAWEIPFJAWIPEJFIAWEFJIAWJEIFJ I really wanna smash something. Why cant I beat the monkey tilt fucker in me? My winrate sucks dick now as well since this whole month is a losing one. God damnit I could have it all so nice. Now everytime I play I will think of what I already could have achieved and shit but I know that I should only think of playing the best right NOW. But my mind is fucking me up, telling me I could already have had a lot more money and this makes me so angry that it leads to more bad play.
Now i dont know what to do, I have the fear that my old circle of life poker tilt will start again.
FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCK.
What do you guys do in my situation?

Here's the graph of the month so far.... just looking at it makes me tilt. If you see the straight line to the bottom at the end, then you know when i really started tilting badly and forced myself to stop.
Edit : Updated graph T_T

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Just played the fucking worst session in a long time.

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Yo guys, my Dec. changed a bit with the last session. Was a very good session, so i made around 500$ with RB. Seems like i have a problem with Non-SD winnings, look at the second graph. But my winrate is still kinda good, but i wonder how i could improve this. Hmm.





Well my goals for 2009, are quite humble. I just want to get back where i once was, i wanna be a winning NL200 regular by the end of the year, thats all i really want. If i can achieve more, it would be nice ofc too. But well, the first quarter of 2009 i will have to climb ub the levels again. Lets see if i can do it. GL and happy new year everyone.

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Well the month started very very bad, then i got a little heater, but in the end didnt work out so well. However, I am still satisfied, still got a lot to work on my discipline, but I am happy because at least it is a winning month, and i played a decent amount of hands. With rakeback, its an OK month, could and should have been a lot better ofcourse, but whatever.
Here is the graph.

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Yo guy, i have stopped playing since the last post, i didnt have much time, but i picked up the game again a few days ago, and maybe i can turn this month from a bad start into a good one!
Want at least 30k hands at the end of the month.

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Anyone here who would be willing to exchange money? I have around 85$ lying around on PartyPoker that i would like to exchange for either PS or FTP money! I send first, only "known" ppl pls .

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This month doesnt seem to like me! Not even rakeback can bring me into the greens. Well, i hope i can turn this around soon, otherwise this would yet be another very depressing poker month.

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This month couldnt have start worse! I had great plans, wanted to establish a solid NL50 bankroll for moving up but instead of that i get CRUSHED.
My tiny bankroll got owned a lot, i am very bad rolled now and had to move to NL10 again, now i remember why I used to hate FTP back in the days. Well, Im waiting for my rakeback from November to kick in, and im hoping that the luck will eventually change.
I really need a good streak or something, because playing with a small br all the time is pressuring me a lot and i tend to get affected by losses much easier.
So..... my new goal is to play around 50-60K hands this month and not to lose my BR haha .



Heres the sweet graph so far.

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Yo guys, i've been playing a bit recently, and since i moved up to NL25, i have been doing kinda good, but at the same time i managed to almost kill all my winnings with some idiotic tilty calls/allins.
If i manage to stop doing that, i will do very good and hopefully be ready to go to NL50 very soon, but ill have to play a lot during the next days. So all in all, im very unhappy with my results so far, but at the same time i am happy because if i wouldnt have done stupid shit i would be up a lot, with kind of a high winning rate as well. I seem to have fixed my non-showdown winnings leak as well. Also going to get some nice rakeback from the last month soon.

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