OK guys, the last one, it was such a trip to the past for me, all that awareness was too much, unbearable to finish the last one truly, it's 2am here and I kept procrastinating. My goal now is to start new diaries, think of a better system with dates, maybe categories, There is a book on bullet journalling I might follow. Thanks for reading, and or more importantly, to spam LP one last time maybe 
2023
I haven't written in a long time, it feels awkward, can I even read what I write? Positivity - I talk less, only when I need to when I have high confidence. Yesterday was too much, my ego is obsessed with people, how I see them, as quotas I make money from. The key is to see people as well, people, if you need them or not! Chew your food, be mindful, and put your knife and fork down. When you feel like eating emotionally, pause, put your hands on your heart and say "I am a good person" and recall one of your amazing positive memories.
When leading people. Be positive and lead by example, talk to people who are negative privately.
I am in the woods, sitting in a gazebo at Cibulka.
To escape reality of life is why everyone does everything - norm macdonald
I might not have before this world, I was well . . . the happiest in Scotland, before I had my PC, I'd run every day, go after girls, it was the best 2 months ever. Russel from Menprovement figured it out, he just upped and left his business, posts scarcely. Try to have 2 weeks without PC, just write, be with people, work out, do silent time and exercise.
When I focus on reality I discover things, like when I discovered a community garden at Zlicin and just sat on the bench there. Ziglar talks about the need for clean language, and positivity. When you are confident there is no need to make people laugh, you can be silent, be present for them. Someone recognised I worked in sales.
Whesto in 1st armada - focus on positivity, surround yourself by amazing people, if bad apples want to leave - let them. You shouldn't be doing video games at all, so when you play them, do them in +EV way! I feel like I need to increase exposure to women - today I saw a skinny Ukrainian lady at the pond, so I went to the pond! amazing! When it comes to women I need to go someone who focuses on the present moment. Tolle: It's normal for Ego to fight back
I went on POBcast, it was cool to talk about disco. My purpose in life is PEOPLE! All your life you were drawn to interactions, Dating, SC:BW, Poker, Sales, Psychology, Laws of human nature, self-help, Goalkeeping, Dota, Dating meetups, and Radical Honesty. You have always been figuring out people! But, often you are afraid of your purpose, the anxiety actually means you care. Live your life, finally. Lean into your purpose, enjoy looking at people! Have that calm energy about you, always act as if you chose this moment. Act as if what happens is on purpose, be a student. You act now, to make your future great..
I did a gym tour in my 4 am wake up phase
- stodulky, barrandov, went to Prokopak valley, had small cherries from the tree, wild ones. The pond is amazing, calming when I breathe under water. You breathe, hold your breath, that's how you focus on silence and presence.
PPL is +EV
- Learn to wake up early
- Listen to +ev on the bus
- work out there
- dance, hypnosis on the way
- learn discipline
- I can act after
- fun when I am rested. Doesn't matter if I am fucked
I would do PPL, then the pond and even the gym! At the gym I accepted my anxiety, ran into it, towards it, listened to Elliot Roe, found a solution, acted hard and travelled to Liberec.
The simple fact is, you don't need to do anything at all to be liked, to feel liked. You definitely don't have to put people down, tell stories that trigger reactions.
You are not only enough, but you can give people the greatest gift of all: the gift of presence, lack of judgement, curiosity.
Sense of awareness and joy as you open yourself to them, create space for them, steer them towards positivity.
on the other hand it's urealistic tothink you can suppress your ego, it's great to find positive creative and constructive workable outlets where you let your ego have it's time in the limelight.
Like making videos, editing, cutting, entertaining people. You got to live with making misfires when you let your ego loose.
Seek moments of presence, pull out the kind, the positive part of your ego when you can. Know that the best way to people is relaxed presence, that invites them to express their deep self.
You have a fantastic gift of empathy, the connections you make are very deep, as you thought about people's feelings all your life. Your ego lives to create this underlying anxiety, puts attachment so much. Games - big attachment, pixels, fears of losing them. I have so many attachments inpoker, I see people bluffing me as an attack on my resources. Constant attachment to how my sessions are going. NL100, can';t let them run me over.
Every sign of tension os an invitation to relax.
Goals + presence = results
Dreams are your brain taking a shit.
Rokytka while playing poker was cool, I felt POWER - working out is vital.
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