Well I noticed that when I filter for "did bet river = true" I got only 714 instances over a ~65k hand sample. Seems low. My river agg % is 25% which seems low too.
anyway, what I thought I was most important was that my nonshowdown line is +2200 over this sample, and my showdown winnings are only +713.
I filtered for "saw showdown = true" and got 306 hands, "saw showdown = false" was 408 hands or thereabouts.
Wondering what I should take away from this, seems that I need to bet the river more often with bluffs, cuz I'm making tons of money in nonshowdown winnings when I bet river with my nutted hands...
any tips? guess I'll report back after a couple sessions of trying to go crazy on the river
Been rollercoastering so hard for a long time emotionally, and it is always such a close reflection to how poker has been going in the last couple days. Obviously this is bad and just trying to "will away" negative feelings really just doesn't work. Like we all know it comes down to balance.. I hope I am making my way towards that as I head into my 2nd week in the gym. I really want to get back into my pre-poker shape and then beyond, but I am afraid to set any real goals because I've mostly failed every goal I've set in the last 11-12 months. I'm just gonna do my best.
Today I randomly clicked on nanonoko and then navigated over to nolan's online results and found it really inspiring. I think I need some more inspiring/motivating type shit to enter my brain during these last 2 months of my poker shot. Cuz if I'm not reasonably solidly at nl100 by Jan 1st I need to dip out of this scene.
Something I've noticed over this whole experience is that it is very difficult for me to take what feels like a "slow and steady" path. Maybe its just how I've ran during my shots and early-moveups and having to move down again every fuckin' time. I dunno.
I feel alright right this second though.. so here goes!
i am trying not to be depressed but i probably am extremely depressed
been way too long without anything good happening in my life at all it feels like.. and especially poker-wise. definitely the biggest thing
at least in most ways. i'm sure someone could point out how i have somewhere to live and stuff and yeah that's good stuff, sure. i will concede those things as nothing to complain about. so don't reply with that.
So my grandma is basically the archetype older lady with a nice chunk of money in the bank who is very vulnerable to financial scams. She keeps joining pyramid schemes and trying to do it like some kind of honest business.. she is that sucker who really believes in these scam multi level marketing, buying gold bullion, bad investments, stuff like that.
And I just don't know what the fuck to do. The scammers immunize their victims by infecting them with self guilt when they inevitably fail to recruit more suckers to these obvious scams. I live at my grandma's right now, and there's a guy here right now selling her on another thing that sounds extremely like a scam. I try to be very off-hands about my grandma's financial related stuff.. it isn't my money and shit obviously, but how long can I stand by and let these dogs continue nickel and diming her to death?
I've tried to show her the facts when it comes to pyramid and multi level marketing schemes but she doesn't want to listen to me over the smooth-talking people involved in these schemes.
Basically, I dunno what to do, I might of already gone as far as I can without overstepping what would be considered respectful of my grandma's decisions and again I just don't know what to do.
MEH My joints are whack, my mousing wrist definitely has some kind of carpal tunnel going on. Thing is it disrupts me and "hurts most" when I'm grinding poker, and it bothers me less when I am playing a videogame. I don't click nearly as much when I'm playing poker as when I'm playing a video game (ie 600 hands/hour in poker vs 30-1hour games on hon at 100APM). I don't get it. Am I just more zoned into the videogame and I power through it more easily? I dunno, but it really disrupts my poker grind.. its legitimately very uncomfortable.. I really want to know what to do about it
Well in other news, I have seldom felt like myself for like 14 months now. I've just broken down a lot from where I used to be mentally and my ability to be comfortable and confident. My failure to move up at poker and my not giving myself any other outlets for improving myself has ground me down to a shell of what I ought to be. And honestly I feel like I should at least, physically, be in the best shape of my life, because these are my prime years where 30 years from now I want to be able to look back and be happy with what kind of mischief I was upto.
And it isn't that I'm unhappy with poker, really its not about poker exactly, its about having a balance in my life. And I feel like something that will really help me get my head right again, for everything, is to get physically active. I'm going to set up my gym membership and call a tennis coach on Tuesday (have stuff to do monday). I really need to change things up because I feel so damn numb and, far from my previous ambitious self, I haven't been able to work myself up to grind like I ought to, or even think of the future as having any hope. And that sucks.
Thought I was finally makin it but obv I run sick bad and lose 8 bi today. God damn it I don't want to grind 10+ buyins at nl50 ffs. Why doesn't this shit just work for me god damn it.
Poker has improved massively since I got my coach. I'm playing and thinking soo much more clearly now. I've faltered only briefly, had a spell of run-bad, and I flirted with tilt a little bit. But after a good nights sleep, a bike ride and a coaching session, I cleared my head back up and got back on the grind.
I just took a nl100 shot and it went well! Not sure if I was supposed to without my coach present but :X. Either way, I'm really excited and I hope I don't have to drop down to nl50 again.
Anyway, here's the graph for the bit under 5 weeks since coaching began.
Almost all of it is nl50, and like 1.5k nl100 hands where I'm up 50bb overall.
Really feeling good though, and wow I understand why nl50 regs are terrible again.
Not much else has been going on in life. Just seeing friends and such. I've been struggling pretty bad with having a reasonable sleep schedule though.. between my own natural.. idk, lack of discipline, or just my own natural drive to never go to sleep until I feel exhausted, and video games + weed, its literally been a 50/50 on whether or not I'm awake at ANY hour of the day/night. Negatively effects my life to not have a normal bed time. Trying to make babysteps toward fixing this but we'll see.
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