Wow, today was brutal. It started the minute I sat down at the tables this morning. I just felt this sick rage building up inside of me for no reason but it didnt bode well. I definitely wasnt 100% focused when I started out at I should have just stayed off the tables completely but meh, I want to play poker.
I lose a couple of pretty brutal pots and continue the august trend of just running really bad and not getting anything going for me. I played about 1k hands on more or less tilt but it was only on 400nl and I was playing against complete retards so I never really considered playing my b+ game to be -ev or anything. I actually quite enjoyed playing with rage, perticulary against one opponent who was really, really bad and won tons of money against me in like 5 min. I was angry but I simulated complete monkey tilt against this guy as good as I could, reraising hands to like 10bbs to a minraise etcetc trying to stir up the action and make him make huge misstakes in bloated pots when deep.
My "monkey tilt" worked out great cause I picked up some hands, unfortunately it all culminated in this hand:
I took about 1k back from him before he left though and I finished the first session down about 3,5k and very unsatisfied.
I sat down again for another session later on and this time I was really focused, controlled and I played really well. Unfortunately I ran like shit, for every buyin I won from making a great bluff, calldown or valuebet I lost one to pure bad luck. At one point I actually felt physicly bad and though I might trow up if I took another beat.
All of a sudden, my hands started holding! I wasnt running perticularily good imo but everytime I got it in good I held and I was just shipping the money left and right. Leaving a session thinking you played great and having results to show for it is an awesome feeling.
I really think I have bumped my A-game up a notch or two and if I only could manage to actually play my A-game more often I will be rich as a rich duck.
Wow, this became a real wall of text. Didnt really mean for that to happen but w/e. Heres todays graph, dont try this at home kids:
Ending with one of the best songs ever made:
Oh, I should say, Its also one of the worst music videos ever made. To think somebody actually got paid to make that horrible thing is scary. Dont watch it, just listen.
Not playing very well in august. Infact the last couple of days I have been playing very dumb, frustrated and tilted a bit. This sucks because I was so focused all through June, I had a good stoploss set and I didnt tilt at all. Tilting without a stoploss against regs is going to absolutely kill your winrate and whenever I do that I feel so stupid.
Im also down like 3k in donkaments, stupid Ftops... God donkaments tilt me so bad. Like my ordinary plan, I will play 2/4 for the next few days just to regain some dicipline, confidence and momentum. Also, school is soon starting again which tilts me to no end. Seeing classmates is going to be nice but I have nooooo desire to study at all. Usually I dont want to play higher than 3/6 while Im studying cause I cant focus as much and I dont want a big losing day to at 5/10 just completely destroy me since I need to maintain some dicipline in school.
Ive been thinking alot about dropping out of school again and Im leaning against doing that, but before I do, I need to prove to myself that I can aproach this game as a professional and the last few days has made me doubt myself. I want to buy an appartment in stockholm and I can never really save up for one if I tilt once a month and just play bad.
Hopefully I will win the ftops main event on sunday and I can say bybye to school for now.
Most likely not playing anything tomorrow or today so I might aswell summarise July. Overall things went very well. I didnt play as much as I wanted to cause the weather has been great and Im lazy when I run good. You gotta give yourself some time to just chill and have fun during the summer so I dont feel too bad about not playing as much.
Its also hard to feel bad when you have a 30k month.
With July Im booking my 3rd consecutive 20k+ month! Sweet!
Im very satisfied with my play this month and I feel like Im playing my best game ever. There are a couple of things I need to work on though.
1. Probably tighten up preflop abit. This one I am unsure about but I think playing 55/49/4 hu is probably a bit to loose and might be spewy. Ive been watching the pr1nnyraiding series on deucescracked and by KRANTZ standards Im a lagtard maniac. I just feel like alot of the players Im playing allow me to play this loose profitably so why not. I definitely need to tighten up when I play good players though.
2. Improve my agression on later streets. Sometimes when I go on autopilot I tend to miss good spots for agression on later streets. I also wanna lower my flop agression and try to even the agression out a bit.
3. 4-bet more! I think I call too many 3-bets and 4-bet way to less. Bring the noise yo!
Appart from this I feel Im really on my a-game. Above everything, I feel Im sooo focused, I rarely ever do anything rash anymore. I always think through my decisions carefully and thats helping my winrate sooo much.
I hope I can keep playing well throughout august so lets keep rocking.
Being a life nit and a cashout junkie Im still not sweetrolled for 5/10 but I have enough to take some serious shots when the games look soft. Lets go for 200k GOGOGO
My life is so good right now. This weekend was awesome, there was plenty of bad fish playing and Ive been running like jesus.
Also, the weather has been fucking awesome the last few days. After like month of rainy cloudy kinda shit weather we have finally had some really hot sweet awesome fucking summer days. Ive just been playing beach volleyball and swimming/chilling all day and its been fucking great. SHIP!
In poker, I have managed to motivate myself alot more. For the first time in a very long time I REALLY want to be able to beat high stakes games. For quite a long time I have been quite content with playing mid stakes games raking in a nice profit and being able to play my way through school, alot of this obv having to do with me going on a fuckall suicide downswing and having to get staked etc. With that pain fresh in my mind, grinding 2/4 and 3/6 for the rest of my poker carrer didnt sound so bad.
But watching KRANTZ rake in a 100k pot while being high on hasch brownies just did something to me. Fuck paying my way through school. Fuck having some money to throw around. I fucking want it all. I wanna beat 10/20 and 25/50. I wanna have 100k months. I wanna buy a nice appartment in Stockholm. I wanna fucking set myself up for life.
This sudden urge to have it all has definitely had a positive effect on my game. I feel sooo focused on playing my absolute best, and improving every way I can. Now I will probably still cash out a healthy chunk each month, but from this day on, I have my eye on the prize. Im going to improve. And im going to beat 25/50 one day.
I didnt play as much 2/4 as I had planned to before jumping back on 3/6. Reason is I dropped like 15 buyins of 2/4 over a few days and then I just picked my game up and won all of it back + more so I felt I had confidence, momentum and bankroll enough to destroy the 3/6 weekend games cause they are usually soft. Yesterday I played some real retards, I played this complete degenerate who actually was up like 2,2k on me but I eventually busted him with this being the key hand:
Sweet stuff. I finally got the new power cord for my dell xps so I uploaded all my hands for July into pokertracker. Now I was expecting I was about break even for the month but it turns out Ive mainly been playing bad and havent really lost a ton so Im still up 12k. Heh, so weird Ive cashed out way to much way to frequently to have any idea how im doing for the month.
Sweet! Im gonna grind 3/6 for the rest of July and proably for most of august but I might start to take some shots at the 5/10 games on the weekends again.
2/4 isnt going to well so far, or rather Im playing really bad. I think what Im going through is very standard after a long stretch of solid results. I start taking winning for granted and my play gets affected by it so when I start running bad I play spewy etc.
Luckily, I realized this early on, cashed out and dropped down to 2/4 to get my A-game back. Due to the fact that ive been playing 2/4 I havent lost much even though Ive been playing pretty horrible. Thanks all terrible 2/4 regs. Speaking of regs, I 4-tabled a 5/10 reg today on 2/4 and after like 30 min of berating me and telling me how i sucked he left claiming i was "too lucky". Keep on rocking champ...
Enough ranting and lets get to the point. Ive been toying with the thought of taking a break for a few days(allthough just finished a +2k session so im probably not taking a break after all) but I dont really have much to do during the days except hang out with friends and play dota. Both are getting pretty tiresome and I need stuff to read.
So hopefully you guys can help me and recommend a good book.
I hate crime books, popular history books about wars and stuff(like the trilogy about ceasar or w/e) and I vomit on all kinds of da vinci code type of books.
Cant really specify more than that, all I have at home right now is ulysses and moby dick but they are both in english and they just drain my energy totally after like 20 pages.
Last night i sat up to 6 in the morning playing a ftp donkament and ended up cashing for like $200. FML. Only got about 6 hours of sleep so tonight I was really tired but I decided to play some donkaments anyways cause I felt like it. Got pretty deep in a few and just busted with 24ppl left in the last donkament for no money and now its 5:30 FUCK DONKAMENTS.
Good news is, I feel like Im really getting better at playing this stupid form of poker so I will probably play a few sundays tomorrow and win them.
The last few days Ive really been playing bad. I havent lost all that much really and I still think Im probably up for the month but Ive just been playing piss bad and unfocused/tilty etc.
Doing this is killing my winrate and just burning money so Ive decided to cash out alot of money and leave myself with a roll for 2/4. My reasoning is, I shouldnt play 3/6 and 5/10 when playing bad and unfocused so the right thing to do is to drop down and regain some confidence and most of all dicipline. Im a very solid winner at 2/4 HU over a large sample so my thinking is that by the time I have regained confidence, dicipline and momentum on 2/4 I will have a roll for 3/6 anyways.
I also need to start saving up to buy an appartment and this cashout will get me started on that aswell.
I have had problems in the past with dropping down when I still have a bankroll for higher games so hopefully this will force me to stay on 2/4 and keep a grinding mindset which is something I really need to get better at maintaining.
This is also a way for me to punish myself for tilting and playing when Im not 100% focused and I will keep doing this whenever I feel like Im playing very bad or tilty repeatedly so hopefully I will learn from it and get better.
Dont have pt stats because of a long and boring story Im not going to bother you guys with so none of that in this post.
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