Fuck micro stakes

Wait wat?



Why do I have this image on my phone? How did I come to acquire it? How did I find time to put in this many sessions while working full time and make more than double my income in less than a month?

Easy. Get lied and manipulated to by your own company to the point you have to let them call your bluff and just walk out the fucking door. Yeah thats right. Remember that offer of 52k I supposedly had? It was bullshit. It never materialized. Week after week I kept getting the run around on my actual start date with excuse after excuse about budgetary delays, finance department being slack, director of HR being on vacation, and on and on and on. I got sick of it, it was clear they were just trying to get a technician at a discount stringing me along for as long as I was willing to tolerate it, so I walked.

Yeah baby thats right, I told my boss I would be taking some time off and to get back to me when that offer is put in writing. I took my last 3k in my checking account and went to run it up, and run it up I did. Clearly my hourly is absurd, although funny thing is it didnt really feel like a heater. It wasnt like I was making boats and flushes nonstop. I just did what I always did, played a lot of TPTK type hands and iso'd with draws that hoped to build equity postflop. I mean when people are floating every cbet with ace high or bottom pair it's not like you have to do anything special to beat them, just hope your hands hold by the river.

So I ran up a 10k roll and then the inevitable happened. My company FINALLY fucking put an offer in writing. Thats right they let me go for 3 weeks without a peep before begging me to come back, but only because someone else quit. Is this really the kind of company I want to work for? The kind that would just ball faced lie to me to exploit me and only when they are pushed to the brink do they finally do the right thing?

To top it all off they REDUCED their initial offer! They said the best they could do was 50. I mean honestly how slimy do you have to be to offer someone 52 as a lie just to string them along for months and then when they tell you to fuck off you come back with an even lower offer bUt iT's Fo rEaLz tHiS TiMe Yo!

Siiiiiigggggghhhhhhh.... So I took it, because $130/hr is not sustainable at 2/5 and last time I tried to make a go at poker on a 10k roll I went busto. Or did I? I didnt lose my money, I just spent it. I upgraded every standard of my lifestyle so that I was living "paycheck to paycheck" as a poker player, only able to put in enough time to pay the bills. So I did the smart thing and took my 10k plus this job and moved back right? Well thats what I did. I write this from my own apartment that is embarrassingly devoid of any furnishings besides a King mattress I just bought, but I'm working on that. And now the grind is back on Monday-Friday.

I guess I'll just ignite the rest of my roll and get a couch and TV and stuff so I feel normal and can at least bring a girl home or something.

Feeling very conflicted.....I was back, back in the game. I was ready, and I just walked away.

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Comments (14)

After pissing away what Eminem might describe as "You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow, This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo!" I never recovered. From borderline homelessness to dead end jobs to uber shenanigans I was practically just waiting for an excuse to end it all. I had it all planned out, and we're talking some scary grizzly details involving the bullet train out of town if you know what I mean. Moved back home up north, finally landed an interview for a position paying barely over minimum wage and figured I'd treat it like an internship and hopefully prove my worth; if not well I'll have a few thousand saved up so I can take one last shot at poker.

But the job gamble paid off. They loved me, thanks in no small part to being wildly overqualified for the position thus making it appear as though I'm the best employee they've ever had in that role. And then something magical happened, they decided to make me a full time offer, and a rather decent one at that. They came in at 52k and I snap accepted (only a sucker takes the first offer so probably could have got like 55 out of it). But 52k, I mean... thats damn close to where I used to be honestly. I know the standard of living a 52k income brings you. It's comfortable. You basically have everything you need and then some. Nice apartment, nice car, nice clothes, plenty of food, insurance, bills paid, and some spending cash on the side for the ladies or hobbies or whatever.

It's almost a little depressing because it just means there's no way I can go back to poker, I'd be be set with this job. There's no way I should go back to poker, I mean wtf why bother? 52k is probably average income for a mediocre 2/5 grinder. A friend of mine popped 100k at this limit and was averaging 75k thereafter for 3 years, but he was definitely better than me and took it way more seriously studying all the time and always reading new books. Me? Pfft self-taught and whatever I learned from you guys here. But it goes beyond that. I'm really not too sad about it because I actually freaking love my job. It's a great trendy modern company, lots of perks, people bring their dogs to work, free fountain drinks, you can drink beer at your desk, etc. My coworkers are meme fanatics and my boss lives by the 7 dirty words so our office is a complete shitshow of language and misogyny. It's great and it's fun. The campus is so big there are bikes and golf carts laying around everywhere to hop into to get to the other side, so it has a kind of Google'esque feel to it. There's like 10 apartment communities within walking distance to a 15 minute bike ride to work, so the quality of work/life is just so money it feels good to be there.

I did take a trip to Jax over the weekend to play poker for the first time in a year and took home $1200. It felt great, it's gonna be hard letting this go. And maybe it wont be gone forever. Maybe my job will just be a stop gap to get back into the game, but this time properly rolled (as in 20-30k instead of the 10k I started with which was far too risky). Maybe poker will just be a hobby and I'll take the occasional trip to vegas or whatever and win a few K some months and lose a few K others and I'll just be that random tourist thats surprisingly good (for a tourist) but never takes the plunge. Or maybe I just lock it up at my current gig and take over my boss's job when he retires in 10 years, because honestly I'm a shoe in for his management position once he's done. I guess in a way all options are on the table. Job is great, poker is great.

I will say the lifestyle of a poker player came with certain complications, the most of which was maintaining healthy relationships with people. Sleeping in all day and living in the shadows of society is a pretty sub-optimal schedule for hanging out with people. Taking nights off to go clubbing always just makes you resent the loss of EV from sitting out at the tables! Every time I was on a Tinder date I would be thinking in the back of my head "screw getting laid, I could be grinding $40/hr right now". Not to mention the general societal implications; "hey mom and dad, this is my boyfriend he uh... he's an investment and equities analyst!" I actually had a cutie at a starbucks once walk away after a 30 minute chat she initiated when I finally revealed I played poker for a living lol. You could just see the disappointment in her eyes.

Anyway, it's going to be so fucking nice to finally have some normalcy in my life after what feels like an eternity of pure chaos. Till that day.....

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Comments (22)

So it's time. Looking to relocate to a new poker spot. Quick recap, moved in with that girl, things were ok in the beginning but it has run its course. I actually feel kinda bad now because she's madly in love with me and I dont really feel anything for her at all. Then again I think she may be confusing love with loneliness and she's just looking for someone to settle down with, frequently commenting on how she doesnt want to die alone etc. Believe me I can appreciate that, but I just dont feel anything for her anymore.

Anyway the online poker thing failed, I lost my 3k as quickly as I won it, in no small part due to playing zoom poker. It was great getting paid off by anonymous donks on ignition with inexplicably bad hands, but it's also easy to run KK into AA and get felted by every slowplayed set 10 times in a row. I've been driving for Uber/Lyft in the meantime to make ends meet. Back to live it is, but not in jax!

One of the biggest gripes I ever had about playing in jacksonville FL, in fact the only gripe I had, was the shortstackers. This is pretty common for live but goddamn it's so frustrating, especially when you show up for the waiting list just to get put on a new table with nothing but $100 minbuys at a 2/5 game. And then when they win a big pot they take their $300 and sit in the 5/10 PLO game upstairs. It became such an issue the card room finally bumped the minimum buyin up to 40BB, which helps I suppose, but still a far cry from playing the more enjoyable full stacked poker. The game selection was also always a tiny bit limited, usually 5 tables of 2/5 running, mix of regs, recs, and a few tourists. But lets get real, jax is not a tourist town so you're never really getting these out of towner whales unless there's a huge BBJ running or tournament in town.

So doing my due diligence it seems as though a few new spots opened up for consideration; Tampa, Washington DC, and Houston. So lets do a little pros & cons breakdown.

************************************************************
Tampa pros: best weather, best city, best social life, best quality of living, best women, casino opened 24/7

Tampa cons: single casino, 40BB buyins, possibly reg infested, semi-touristy town.

************************************************************

DC pros: 2 casinos, Maryland Live which is renowned among the region with very juicy games, brand new MGM right next to airport/city center attracting all of the fancy businessmen, tons of tourism.

DC cons: terrible weather, terrible social life, terrible standard of living, very expensive, major female:male defecit.

************************************************************

Houston pros: legal homegames, numerous recently established card rooms that operate on the home game principal, all play extremely deep, TIME RAKE TIME RAKE TIME RAKE TIME RAKE!!!, decent female population, good standard of living

Houston cons: meh weather, meh social life (???), games might run too big, possibly nothing but regs/locals

************************************************************

Now before we go any further lets take a look at that big fat bold in the houston category. Because gambling is illegal in texas no game can take a rake. However homegames for real money are completely legal so long as the house doesnt get a cut, and you can literally find dozens of nightly games running all over the city from a simple google search. I've been there and done it and they are legit. Some enterprising minds decided to take the next step and open up full fledged card rooms under the homegame principle. This has drew the ire of city officials and nobody knows if it's all going to get shut down or not, but for now these rooms look like mini casinos. They are lavish, well apointed, fully staffed, professional dealers, hot waitresses, full bar, full menu, real food, lounge, tv's, very nice seating, etc. A couple of the rooms themselves look absolutely stunning. They circumvent the system via standard time rake/membership deal. $15 door fee + $15/hr seat.

Everything I have read about the houston games says that while they advertise them as 1/3 games, the max buyin is 300BB's or up to the big stack. 10-15k on the table is very common and with opening raises between $20-$50 and even legendary $100 opens from tilted whales late at night the games have been rumored to be this hidden hush hush poker oasis. Saw a pic of Sammy Farha one night and some instagram pros winning 14k pots with their bragworthy "2.5k buyin 22k cashout" chip porn posts. The time tokens cannot be paid from your stack, so all the money stays on the table! They have memberships to ease the daily door fee's but the $15/hr stays. Considering almost any casino is usually taking $7 per hand in rake then the time structure seems like an obvious win.

Concerns? Well, these games may be a bit *too* deep for me. Some of them turn into 1/3/5/10/25 degen fests and if they all entirely revolve around the local elites then I'll just never be able to get in. However I wont really know until I go there since nobody is expressly talking about it. You can even call the rooms and the hostess will brag over the phone about how their 1/3 game is playing like a 5/10 to entice you to come over.

Thoughts?

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Comments (31)

Been awhile... actually I couldnt connect to LP.net for like the last 6 months, not sure why site would just time out. Was randomly clicking bookmarks today and it opened up!

So much has happened... for starters, my pretty little cheapo Saab blew up on me Coolant jug sprung a leak and before I knew it my temp gauge was red lining while driving home. Pulled over, popped the hood and some hose blew off and started spraying boiling coolant everywhere. Luckily my training kicked in and I was able to do an aerial split tsukahara flyaway and didnt get any on me. But I was told I blew a head gasket and warped the cylinder heads. Estimate to fix? $4000. So much for my piddling little poker bankroll I was growing. And my checking account. And my savings. Any literally every last dime I had to my name.

Since the repairs were more than the car was worth I junked it and got a loan for a newer car that is certainly more reliable and one in which any repair shop can work on. I bought a 2013 Nissan Altima. 67k miles and seems to be in great condition, only downside is that due to declaring bankruptcy last year I got stiffed with a 16% APR loan lol. But I really had no choice, because no car = no job.

Which brings us around full circle, because I finally quit my job! How did I quit my job with no poker bankroll, no income at all to speak of, and a car loan on top? Easy, by just giving up on life! You can do it too! In reality I put my last $500 on to ignition and decided I was going to move home where I could sleep on my mom's couch and live rent free for a bit until I got a job again. I quit my current job because it was making me borderline suicidal. I hated it so much. I worked IT for a collection agency which has to be one of the most subhuman morally reprehensible industries on earth. While I wasnt doing the thieving, just working there made me so ashamed. What a fucking trash company that was. And after my 1 year anniversary and numerous discussions about a raise and promotion, coupled with completing the most important project our team was tasked with in the last 5 years, I get passed over with a "ok so we're gonna put you on a review period for this promotion, unpaid of course to see if you can handle it, and then reconvene next quarter". I walked out of the meeting, gathered my personal belongings, left the office and never came back. I just cant bring myself to get horse fucked that badly. Call it pride or whatever, but I have a few principles in me and running the entire desktop support team by myself, overworked, no overtime (just told to take long lunch breaks to make up for it) and meeting all objectives just to be given the endless runaround? No sir, fuck you. FUUUUUUCK YOU. I fucking hope it stung them as bad as they did me leaving the dept in shambles and forcing them to miss all their deadlines for the next big software upgrade cycle since I was the only one who knew how to assemble the packages.

Anyyyyyyyway... so this new girl I was seeing at the time invited me to come stay with her rather than move out of state, and in that time I've been grinding my online roll using hilariously bad bankroll management up to 3k playing NL200 now. This means I can actually pay my bills. I'm pretty sure Ive been running hot but hey we all deserve a little rungood sometimes dont we? I actually do NOT intend to move up any higher since my goal now is just self-sustainability, and NL200 seems to offer that. I can afford my car payment, my tiny bit of gas since i dont drive anywhere, and food in my belly. All things considered thats all I need right now. If and when I grind up to 10k or something I may or may not start playing live again, namely because I am really enjoying the freedom and lack of expenses associated with playing online. I'd probably rather grind NL200 online than 2/5 live. Those tips/food/gas/accommodations really take a bite out of your earnings.

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Comments (48)

So quick recap -- went pro, played 2/5, did well, lived paycheck to paycheck, spent bankroll, almost homeless, got a job, got a car, and finally this month we're back at the felt. Live poker obviously, since it's the only thing I feel comfortable playing.

We started mid august at 2/2 with about about $1000 in our roll. I kinda figured I dont need a whole bankroll to at least get the ball rolling. If I drop 500BB's right out the gate then whatever, but if I can begin crushing right out the gate that just puts us that much closer to going pro again.

Result:



I'm proud of myself. Not so much for my play but just for the goals im setting and the goals I intend to follow. Lets just pretend for a moment I won the 500k bad beat; I'd keep my car. I'd keep my apt. I'd play 2/5, and literally nothing would change. Thats what fucked me up before. I got greedy and thanks to bad habits from my old jobs where I could just spend everything I made I set myself up for failure since as a poker player you must always be saving. While I dont believe in supernatural shit, I do think it was as good a time as any to go busto, since I was taught a valuable lesson before it was too late. Had I moved up to 5/10 or something and lost it all with no backup plan I could have been seriously screwed.

In fact at times I did flirt with suicidal thoughts. I doubt I would have ever committed but then again, if I was on the street sleeping in my car that 9mm hollowpoint in the arm rest might have seemed like a good way out.

Anyway working a 9-5 job definitely sucks but hey, it kept a roof over my head and put food on the table. It's an entry level IT position I'm ridiculously over qualified for but beggars cant be choosers. I couldnt look for a higher paying job anyway since I was in the midst of a bankruptcy filing and having too much income can make that a problem. I was in the sweet spot to write off 50k in debt yet afford a 1 bedroom apartment without having my wages garnished. Now that that's been taken care of my life can finally get on track. God it feels good to be playing again.

Only other interesting tidbit was banging a coworker and then having her ex-fiance show up at her apt in a coke induced rage. One of those moments where I'm not sure if I wanted to be armed or not. We pretty much broke things off tonight since clearly that shit hasnt been handled yet. Sucks but I guess it's for the best, especially since I probably shouldnt be spending money on females right now..... then again that waitress at the card room is so fucking hot........

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Comments (4)

You'd think I'd have more details or a more well thought out process for how to get back into poker, but you'd be wrong! What I bring to you is my little 5 step plan, the details are more or less assumed.

1. Disregard females
2. Acquire currency
3. ???
4. ??????
5. Profit

Ok in all seriousness here's the plan,

[x] Get a job
[x] Get a car
[ ] Build a new roll
[ ] Play with new roll
[ ] Go pro.... again.

Those of you with keen eyes will notice that not only have I made it to step 2, I actually have a car now! I bought a 2004 Saab, an interesting choice, some may call it stupid others may call it unique. Saab is out of business which is part of the reason you can get a car like this under 3k, but during their legacy they made a rather unique car. In fact I kinda feel like Saab was ahead of their time with many of the concepts and technologies they introduced. I guess it was supposed to be a budget luxury line that wasnt total crap. Nonetheless their cars have a very different appearance that has aged quite well for a 14 year old car. It still looks classy and modern like any 00's BMW/Mercedes if you ask me. While hunting for cars I learned 2 valuable lessons; never buy from a dealer and everything under 5k looks boring and old as shit.

I know I know we're supposed to be beyond superficiality and looks, but I knew if I got a 98 camry that I'd hate it and be looking to sell it ASAP which would prove to be a losing financial decision longrun anyway. It doesnt have to be amazing, just something I fricken want to drive, and in my budget pickens were slim. Even if I did decide to go the camry/honda route, that entire line of cars seems to be built for the needy. Every one of them I checked out was just horribly abused. Essentially poor people dont take real good care of their cars, and I started I feel like I should flat out avoid the entry level Japanese line since their history is just gonna serve as beaters for low income people like myself. You have to be very patient to find that one car that is listed under 3k that someone actually took good care of and is just parting ways with it because it's time to move on. All the others are trash being dumped before the engine/tranny blows up.

So along came this Saab, and man I love this thing. Besides the looks it's just so different. Saab re-invented the wheel at every opportunity which overall just kinda gives the car its own theme. The door handles open different, the seats recline different, the dash layout is different, the buttons are different, the ficken ignition switch is in the middle next to the e-brake, everything is just done differently. It just makes it feel like you're driving a new kind of car, even if it's just new to me. But anyway I'm so happy I bought this because I really feel like it's a keeper car. It'll look just as good in 10 years and does everything I want it to. I'm also a bit proud of myself to be honest; that I've made it this far and cleared two huge milestones and that I actually own something, something with NO PAYMENT. It's mine. Within the next few months I hope to be taking shots at 2/2 NLHE live again and just praying for a good run so I can get back to living life and not just living for the weekends (or in my case, every other weekend with this fucking lame job I've got). Cant complain though, I have a used luxury car in good condition, a roof over my head, and food on the table.

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Comments (3)

So in my newfound wisdom we should be buying quality used cars. I've always had a fondness of Lexus after owning my first used ES250 back in highschool and recognized the astonishing build quality and attention to detail. It's a shame I ignored this for so long. I have my sights set on 1 of 3 Lexus cars priced around $3000 now:

ES300 - smaller sibling of 400, mostly just aesthetic differences
LS400 - large roomy sedan, super smooth and quiet, max features
SC400 - sports coupe. Least features, but possibly looks the best

http://imgur.com/a/rIVqj

Thoughts?

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Comments (23)

So if anyone has kept up with me you should know by now that I done goofed. I fucked up. I didnt treat poker like a business, let some big cashes get to my head and literally spent my bankroll to the point that I drove myself out of business. I guess I cant feel too bad, I'm not the first person to get reckless with their income and self-destruct. I've never felt too bad about it because at least I didnt lose it all playing poker. So where did that leave me? Pretty dire times to be honest. In fact if I come out of all of this I feel like I should write a book. I was about 2 months away from rock bottom, and by rock bottom I mean straight up homeless, no car, no more couches to crash on, looking to take the bullet train out of town kinda thing. In fact I actually had more suicidal thoughts than I had ever had in my life. Not that I've ever been particularly suicidal, but I kept a steady eye on my firearms to make sure I wasnt fantasizing about it too much before I'd have to pawn them off to make sure I didnt do anything stupid.

Tomorrow I start my first day at my new job. It pays 50% less than my last job but by my estimates it should be enough to keep a roof over my head. My quality of life as it stands today is still leaps and bounds ahead of many others so I have no right to complain. I have a borrowed car, food in the fridge, running water, soft bed, clean sheets, and warm air when it's cool and cool air when it's warm. My checking account balance is currently $277, so you can see how bad things were getting. Actually I also have 1k on Ignition which I'll discuss in a minute.

Thing is I'm actually feeling pretty good about everything. For starters this new job looks to be painfully easy and about 5 steps back in my career title as I was before. Basically I'm doing now what I did when I first started working. Just general helpdesk tier 1 stuff. "Help my mouse isnt working!" and so I plug it back in. Thing is with each new job I got paying a bit more my responsibilities increased, and with that came a new level of stress. I was working jobs where I had to come in on weekends, had to be on call 24/7, had to be interrupted in dinner out on town, had to come in early and stay late. The jump in title and pay didnt do anything for my quality of life. Quite simply I was not happy. This might have had to do with being stuck in a broken relationship for so long too, but I still hated all of those jobs. My favorite job was my helpdesk job, so I've come full circle and am back right where I started.

Now that I am debt free I am hoping to begin saving up for a new poker bankroll, which brings us to Ignition. So right before I went busto I threw my last $800 of disposable income online just to see if I could do something, anything with it at all. I mean for fuck's sake I've played this game long enough, can I even beat the micros yet? Can 2/5 live be easier than NL10 online? Where am I? So I dilly dally'd around from NL5 to NL25 before I just suddenly up and transitioned into PLO exclusively. I still remember the moment, I was staring at the micro NLHE lobby and kind of disappointed at what I saw. Lot of 10-20BB avg pot sizes, maybe 20% of players seeing flops, and overall a lack of action in general. I know IG hides tables that are full but I just kinda got the impression there's not a whole lot going on at micros on IG. I've always been fascinated by PLO and the kind of action it brings, so I switched over to the PLO lobby. Holy crap, avg pots of 50BB, avg players/flop 40%+, and plenty of open tables at all limits. If my goal is to climb the ladder and make it to high stakes I want there to be good games going on. It's hard to find good 5/10 and 10/20 NLHE games, but at PLO they always run.

I dont consider myself an action junkie, but I do like to play loose and aggressive. My lifetime stats in NLHE have always been around 30/24/3 with probably 10% 3bet. I'm the guy with the always positive red line. At that moment PLO just seemed kind of a natural fit for me. I get to play loose, but not so loose like I do in NLHE where it can cause me problems. Playing a 30/24 style in PLO is probably golden. Most of the fish there are playing a 60/5/.9 game with 0 3bet. So I'm actually playing tight compared to them, but it feels loose as fuck to me which is right where I like it. Now I have no experience with PLO at all other than knowing the rules. I have Joey for inspiration and I think maybe 2 videos from Deuces Cracked about 5 years ago from Vanessa whereby all I remember her saying is "PLO is a drawing game". So rather than doing the smart thing and studying a bunch of material I kinda decided I'd just teach myself PLO. I think I've always had a hard time following the advice of others and seem to be one of those stubborn guys who can only learn the stove is hot when he burns his hand. My $800 roll dropped to $250 pretty quickly playing PLO50. I took a step back, seriously analyzed a lot of HH's, pitched some scenarios to some generous folks online for their advice and went back to it. I dropped limits of course and over the next 4 weeks managed to grind my $250 back to $1050. Now we're talking less than 10k hands here so probably fish on a heater, but it sure feels like I'm doing things right.

So what now? Well my goal is to keep grinding away online and let whatever happens happen. My goal either through live shot taking or online shot taking is to grind a new bankroll up to 30k and then become a pro again, and this time do things right. No more sports cars, no more paying for pussy (expensive dates), no more impulse buys on toys (virtual reality, multiple cellphones, tablets, gadgets, clothes, etc) and to just be a responsible adult with my poker job. I dont ever want to get in debt again. I dont ever want to have a car payment again. No more credit cards, nothing. I want to live entirely out of cash. I think this will be good for perspective, to make sure I always know exactly what my spending ability is, and of course it just makes financial sense to never pay interest on anything. If I become an online pro then awesome, I have my pick of almost anywhere in the world to live. If the higher limits of PLO prove to be too difficult, or I just start playing in the absolutely-balls-out-nuts live PLO games around here (40k stacks at 5/10 anyone?) then I'll obviously have to live where the games are good. At the moment I would prefer online, because I mean who wouldnt. But I still enjoy shootin the shit with live players and trying to get waitresses phone numbers. I did actually make several friends from the tables, something I could not have done if I lived like a hermit at home grinding away online.

Anyway time to iron my shirt and pack my lunch for the big day! lol.... just lol..

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Comments (15)

So it has been year since I moved to Florida to pursue live poker as a career, and here are the results -



While I'm proud of the results, I am ashamed of the volume. A paltry 711 hours for an entire year, which translates to roughly 25k hands, or about what some of you probably put in a month. What happened? Well a few things. For starters there is definitely a basic work ethic problem here. Quite simply I am a lazy person and was essentially doing the bare minimum at all times. 2 hours sessions, 4 hours if I'm lucky, going in 3-4 times per week, that sorta thing. Some of it was onset by MUBS (Monsters Under the Bed Syndrome), a result of one too many bad beats putting me in a psychological funk whereby I am scared of the next suckout, so I just leave early and dont even play some days. Despite my winrate I was under constant fear that it might all come crashing down, so I kept "quitting while I'm ahead".

I was also paranoid that if I failed to meet my monthly nut that I would spiral downward into bustoland as I became paranoid about my ability to self-sustain from poker, so whenever I would hit 4-5k/month I'd just "quit on a high note" sort of thing. I knew from the beginning this would be a recipe for disaster because I was basically making only what I needed to pay the bills without saving anything behind. I set myself up for failure by having to consistently show profit every single month without having any downswings. But when you're on a paperthin bankroll any losing month is going to crush your confidence so you always feel the need to look like you had a winning month.

Finally the third biggest culprit was simply living way outside of my means. I recognized that earning 4k/month tax free was the equivalent of having a 75k salaried job without taxes, so I lived as such. I bought a sportscar, semi-luxury apartment, bunch of furniture and stuff to decorate, and of course dropped a lot on pussy. I met this girl while I was down here and in an attempt to impress her I just overspent on dates and stuff. I was paying $125 every 3 weeks to get her hair done, going out to dinner like 5x a week, bought her some clothes and boots and stuff, and even owned 2 cars for awhile to let her drive my spare.

How did I do all of this on 32k? Easy, credit cards. I've always had good credit so I had about 35k or so available to "spend", and spend it I did. Basically every single bill went on credit to preserve my bankroll. I always kept 10k in the bank just in case. Well that "just in case" moment has come knockin. Now that my credit cards are maxed and I finally went on a nice breakeven stretch I've had to tap the roll for finances. As a result I now only have 5k left to my name and have had to cease playing live poker.

What does one do with 35k debt, 5k in cash and no job? Well he goes bankrupt obviously. My next step from here is one of 3 things. I'll either stay unemployed in FL long enough to declare bankruptcy and get a normal job, spend the last of my roll on a shitty used car and get a roommate to slash expenses. Hopefully instead of needing 4k/month I will get down to about 2k/month which I think almost any job can cover. However I'm not quite sure if I can rebuild a roll on such limited income. If not, then I will probably move back home and live with the parents for a few months to avoid paying any rent at all, get a job there and try to save up another 10-15k within half a year or so and take a shot again, except this time I'll do things right. I guess I needed a good kick in the ass to recognize what it takes to actually live as a poker player. While my volume is low I think it's safe to say I'm beating these games and should continue to pursue the endeavor. Maybe I wont be at $40/hr after the next few years but surely $25 or so would be a good estimate for a very modest average minded player such as myself.

In the meantime I have one last trick, and thats to try playing online a little. You see I play 2/5 live, and I'm not sure 2/2 is beatable with rake/tips/gas/food etc. However with Ignition poker accepting bitcoin transfers I might be able to take a shot at NL50-NL100 and earn enough to survive the bankruptcy process while paying for rent and food until I lose my car and get all my debts cleaned. I've really enjoyed my time as a poker "pro" and would only continue if I was a proven winner. I just need to be a responsible winner. The good thing about bankruptcy is that it's actually probably a pretty good time in my life for it at the moment. I'm 35 now and the red flag this will put on my credit will last 10 years. I'm in a position right now where I shouldnt really need loans of any sort. I dont plan on buying a home and will learn to live with a modest car instead of something flashy. As a poker player all other bills should be paid in cash anyway so this will more or less keep me on track. I literally wont even be able to get approved for a credit card for the first 2-3 years probably anyway, at which point I'd have to go through the tedious process of rebuilding my credit score through secured micro transactions and such, but that's all fine. I kinda dont even want credit cards again since they are the devil Most people in this world would be better off without them in the first place.

In the meantime wish me luck!

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Dunno how many nerds we have here, but I'm sure most of you have probably heard of the new virtual reality headsets. I lit my allowance money on fire in the early 90's to play those shitty VR machines they had in the arcade, bought an Oculus development kit when it came out just to see what all the hype was about, bought a Galaxy S6 smartphone just so I could use GearVR with it, and had been waiting to see who the victor would be in the new Oculus vs Valve wars. Finally some local shops had both on display for customers to demo with so I was able to experience both and decide which one was best for me.

Hands down the HTC vive is the most incredible gaming experience I have ever received. Oculus is under the belief that gamers wont really want to walk around in a VR environment, that we'll all eventually prefer to just sit down and hold a controller and play cockpit simulators or something. They dont really support this whole "roomscale" thing that involves being able to freeroam around in empty space. Valve on the other hand see's it the exact opposite, that being able to just look around is a gimmick, and that the real power in VR is being able to move around. Personally I think Valve couldnt be more right. I dont have a very big play space, however even just being able to walk 2 steps forward or backwards is game changing. The tiny head movements and bobbing you experience as a bipedal species are perfectly tracked by the Vive. When you tilt your head to lean down and look at something it's all there. These experiences are sorely lacking in the Oculus Rift which usually just has you sitting there looking straight ahead. Sure you can look and lean anywhere you want in the Rift too, however there is no incentive to do so. Most of their games are designed to just look 3D without the need to actually look anywhere. Vive games go out of their way to encourage you to move around and explore the area. When you reach the confines of your playspace you can "teleport" further down the road and just start walking the opposite direction. It sounds silly but it makes all the difference.

I havent even purchased any games yet, the little demo suite valve provides so far is astounding. So much in fact that Vive demo's have more playability than full blown Rift games. It is truly an amazing experience. Both systems cost the same, $800 USD (if you want wireless VR touch controllers at least) and Oculus may eventually get with the program and start encouraging roomscale development. Any dev could produce roomscale games if they wanted, they just dont seem to be doing it yet. But if you have some disposable income I highly recommend you try it. If you get bored of the system, sell it on ebay and consider the loss as just rent for VR for the few months you keep it.

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