Fuck micro stakes

So weird. Lately I can barely muster up the spirit to log into any poker site. My stomach turns in knots, my heartbeat starts racing, i start gnawing on my finger nails. The whole thing is just one big miserable experience. It's not the result of any particularly bad sessions or bad beats or anything either, it's just the whole faceless aspect of it all. I just get personally offended when someone calls me with K8o or 92s and all I can see is this faceless icon + screename. I feel like theyre hiding from me or something. I dont know how to describe it, it just bothers me. When I play live I take all sorts of bad beats and it doesnt bother me that much at all for some reason. Maybe it's just because I'm already in a good mood from the social atmosphere, maybe it's because I'm usually enjoying a free meal + drinks on the house. I enjoy talking to people, listening to people joke around and be funny bastards with their table talk, etc etc. All I know is when I go to play live I go feeling pumped. When I sit at a microstakes table online I just feel miserable. Maybe it has something to do with the money or something. It's not that I'm underrolled or anything, but I think it's just rather a lack of meaningful results. It's a real chore to play for an hour to win 80 cents or 2 bucks or whatever. Poker already sucks the life out of me, both live and online. I'm feverishly focused on every hand, to the point of wearing myself out when I get home. I think this extreme stress with no real results just runs its toll on me. At least live I can book a few hundred dollars in a winning session and get that sense of accomplishment. Online it's just another "uhhhhhhg gaaaawwwwd back to the grind, and for what? Pennies? Christ". I feel like how a McDonald's employee probably feels, just "please kill me now" kind of feeling.

Think I'm gonna hang up online play for awhile. I wonder if this has anything to do with why so many online regs have become live regs in the end.

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Played live last night, and almost lost my shit after some call-station brags about how he would have folded TP HU if "someone so much as breathed on the pot", a mere 3 hands after calling off about 50BB's with bottom fucking pair. Seriously? You call flop and turn with A3s on a QJ34 board, and then claim you would have folded JQ to a river bet on a J7289 board. Go fuck yourself old man. Fish just love to show how disciplined they are laying down monsters or whatever the fuck. "Look im not as terrible as even I think I am, I'm going to muck KK preflop because someone 4bet me, I have sick reads".

An otherwise crap session running cold all night. Maybe try again later this week.

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Just got a random $8 from a single 2500 hand session of NL5 rush I played earlier this week before busting. Should I split it across 4 tables and minbuy at rush again? Or put it all on one table of NL10 rush? You decide.

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Comments (13)

I had $25 floating in my stars account for some reason, cant even remember from where. Been playing with it all weekend. Couldnt beat the rake though, rather buy myself lunch all week instead, so cashed it out as soon as I hit the minimum requirements again. Done with micro stakes (for the 50th time). Back to saving up for live play.

On second thought I might take a shot at cake poker. I actually thought cake was strictly some euro site until recently lol. I really like the idea of hudless play. I figure since it'll be my first deposit their profiling system will put me in runhot mode so maybe I can run up a small roll before they assign me the "good for rake" roll by doomswitching me just enough to keep me reloading without scaring me off... like every other site.

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Comments (3)

I just realized I can get cheap experience @ HU by sitting at empty NL2 tables and waiting for someone to join. Sure it only lasts about 5 minutes till someone else joins, and 3 handed is kinda like HU, but the field is ripe with potential NL50 cattle.

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I had a smartphone crisis a couple of weeks back, buying a used iphone 3gs thinking I could unlock it only to find out I couldnt. I waited and waited for an unlock to come out but finally had enough, especially after trying to rely on the thing while on vacation for maps and shit. Nothing feels more ghetto than walking a city block to find a free fucking wifi signal just so I can get shit done.

Well I had defended apple and the iphone up until recently, when I finally pulled the trigger and just bought another damn smartphone, this time the HTC HD2, which is the EVO 4G but for tmobile. This thing is one sexy bitch




I had given it a quick go through at the tmobile store once before and they had all the settings and options and icons so fucked up I thought the device itself was shit. I read more about it, and went to another store to try it, with most of the settings at default so I could see how it *really* was and immediately fell in love with it. And after using it for a week now I punch myself in the balls daily for ever using that iPhone "hipster" piece of shit, as baal likes to call it. I was already feeling the pains of apple domination without being able to install shit for apps, but now that I've had a totally different smartphone experience I have seen the light, and will forever feel sorry for anyone who uses one thinking they are the shit. It's just like every moment I remember holding the damn thing I now feel like a douche, and shiver at the mere thought of how others saw me. Fuck apple and anyone who uses them.

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Comments (25)

The wife and I just got back from vacation in North Carolina where I had the opportunity to drive to the Harrah's casino and finally play some poker in a real casino environment. I've never been to a casino before. This one is probably nothing compared to anything they have in Vegas, as poker only became legal last year. The casino has thus existed entirely on slot machine players, so it's basically just one big mammoth building with about 10,000 slot machines in it. Kinda weird looking at first, just row after row after row of degen fuckin slot machines. Their poker room looks more like an afterthought, tucked away to the side with about 10 tables. You wouldnt even know whats going on over there until you got close enough. The tables being used are those electronic PokerPro machines where everyone sits in front of an LCD touch screen, very internet friendly.

I had a hard time getting the fucker to work properly, it would never register my inputs or show my cards to me when I tried to peak. People were telling me to jab it with my finger, or flip my finger upside down and tap it gently with my nail, or use an ink pen, or use a credit card, etc etc. There were some serious FUUUUUUUUUUU moments where I'm gettin irritated making people wait and timing out and shit and people leaning over to help push buttons for me lol. They would tap my screen and presto it works, I do the EXACT SAME FUCKING THING and nothing happens. I finally got "good enough" using a combo of techniques that I could play. Over the course of an hour I tripled up sending 2 fish walking before I cashed out so my wife and I could go eat dinner. I was really just testing the waters and she sat right behind me watching, so I didnt want to make her wait.

The overall experience was awesome though, being in a casino that is. I was always skeptical about how I would view life living in one of these things, working a job as a professional player. I thought I might feel worthless, or like some horrible degen or matt damon wannabe, cursing myself for throwing my life away to play in an adult version of a video arcade. Thoughts of looking myself in the mirror and asking "wtf are you doing?" were always my worst fears. Well those fears have been officially put to rest. I loved every minute of that place. The lights, the sounds, the sprawling indoor campus, the restaurants, the faces, just the whole damn experience. It is definitely for me, and I think I would fall in love with Vegas casino lifestyle even more when I get a taste of that some day.

So where to from here? Well the question is how the fuck do I get to vegas playing professionally? There's always online poker, but me and the internet dont get along so well these days. Live play always keeps me cool and collected. Online im so quick to play back at people and trash talk (chat banned myself a year ago from ftp and stars) and just get tilted beyond belief that it really ruins my play. Because I cant be a total douche live, I play so much better. I really think the only way I'll ever be successful is through live play, just because of the anti-douche factor.

So the way I see it I really have no choice but to start grinding the home games in my city again to build a life roll I can use to migrate to vegas, like 10-20k I imagine. I have NL200 and NL500 at my disposal 7 nights a week. While nowhere close to being rolled for these, my edge is so huge vs these live fish that I think it should be doable with a little rungood/reloads over the next few months until I get some momentum and can play with a real roll. From there all targets need to be set on vegas, reaching that pivotal moment where I can finally hop on a plane and fly the fuck out there. There are other places to play, but honestly none of them really seem as good of a deal as vegas. AC is a shithole from what I've read, living near foxwoods is expensive plus the weather is completely fucked during the winter (i hate the snow), Florida is ridiculously hot/humid plus the people are all cocksuckers down there. Their casino scene still isnt as well established as others and is more like a vegas/AC junior, especially with the recently uncapped NL buyins. Oh it's also expensive as fuck to live in Ft. Lauderdale. So that really leaves no options other than vegas. The upside to vegas besides the superior casino environment is that home ownership is ridiculously cheap out there with all the foreclosures and what not. It's still hot, but not humid. It's reasonably close to some cool shit on the west coast, namely california and all the places it has to offer. Overall just seems like the best bang for your buck.

To date I have been kinda flaky with my poker ambitions simply because I just wasnt sure if I could do it and more importantly, if I wanted to. Now I feel the answer to both question is yes. So hopefully my euphoria wont wear off and I'll get back out there before too long.

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Comments (9)

4th 180sng today I push OTB and the BB wakes up with fucking QQ+.

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Comments (9)

Bought an iPhone 3GS off of craigslist. Seemed to work fine, once I got home I just did the little "wipe memory" option readily available from the system menu of the iphone, thing turned into a brick and just started rebooting infinitely. Only option was to upgrade the phone OS through a special recovery mode, phone updated to latest version of 4.0. Apparently 4.0 cannot be cracked to use on other networks like I'm trying to do, so I tried to use a tool to downgrade to an earlier OS. Apparently said tool does not work on windows 7, and now the phone is completely fucked and cant even be turned on.

I have spent the last 8 hours on this. I'm gonna try to take it to an apple store to see if they can fix it. I hear they are gracious and will often just give you a new phone. If I leave the store with a $325 paperweight, expect a glorious youtube video tomorrow of me smashing it to pieces with a hammer.

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Comments (6)

Mr. Huabing of China. You want to slowroll every single fucking hand on me HU? Whether you intend to fold, limp, call or raise, you're seriously going to run the fucking clock out every single time? And when I sit out for 3 hands just to make sure you're not playing starcraft, you immediately begin minraising my blinds, and go back to stalling as soon as I sit back in? Ok mother fucker, well this post serves as public notice that I intend to do physical bodily harm to you. Thats right, this is a legally enforceable threat of violence against you on the internet. I know I'll probably never meet you, let alone play you again, but maybe, just maybe, one day you and I will happen to find each other, perhaps at a coffee shop if I'm in Beijing, or maybe in Florida if you visit a beach in the USA. But the best place would be at a poker table, oh the sweet sweet justice of having us meet for the first time in our game of choice. We wont know each other at first, but maybe the table will become social, and we'll all recant about our poker histories, and someone will drop a comment about playing online. It'll go something like "yeah FTP is rigged, I always lose there" and then you'll chime in that you nod and agree, and I'll toss out a question about screenames, to which each will reply with theirs, ultimately landing upon you. You wont notice it, but once the words "huabing" are uttered from your mouth I will become a fiery red, incensed with anger and rage. I'll calmly scoot my chair back, stand up, and casually walk up behind you, you not even aware I have left. Then I'll donkey punch you in the back of the goddamn head knocking your fucking glasses off or whatever you are wearing on your head. The table will gasp, people will think im nuts, you'll even call me nuts after turning around with your hair disheveled, saying "what the FUCK man" or some such thing. My eyes will be bright white, beaming at you in full stare, fists already clenched, body rigid as a board. Possibly not the best fighters stance, but then again im not a professional kickboxer, just some guy with enough strength to fucking hurt you, and hurt you bad during my initial adrenaline rush. I'll do everything possible to entice you to stand up and face me, even though I expect you to be so scared you'll do nothing but sit in your chair. But God help you should you stand up towards me. I'll hit you. I'll hit you in your fucking face, over and over. I'll straddle on you and just keep hitting you and I wont stop until my hand hurts too much or I am satisfied with the damage. Perhaps if you begin crying like a bitch I'll feel bad for you and stop early, otherwise you will go home with stitches in your face and swollen lips. The one good thing you will take with you is the lesson you have learned. Never ever ever fuck with someone you dont know, you classless fuck.

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