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Death! Pt. 5

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LemOn[5thF]   Czech Republic. Jan 18 2024 15:29. Posts 15162
Death = > we all have it in common. Alot of addiction, distractions, religion is there because of avoidance of death. . Accept it, as a fact of life, you don't know when it might come.Even ACTIVELY VISUALISE DYING!
I was watching people on the tram, even young kids, feels different knowing they are all temporary, 100 years fromnow they won't be here and will be just vaguely remembered. Petty squabbles, procrastnation, missunderstandings with people are absurt in the face of death. So are prejudices, anxieties, denial , habits. Would you REALLY spend 10 hours playing dota if you knew it's your LAST few hours you get to live?

It felt tranquil when I made watching the ball in sports my sole focus. In-game, in action there's no point improving shit, FLOW is all that matters, rational improvements do not, as they will just pull you out of flow.
=> Write mistakes down AFTER, review them, make a plan and then PRACTICE. Samewith poker. Even considering your past hands, posting onskype, "what can I learn" should be done after the session is done. It RIPS YOU FROM FLOW! This hand, right now, nothing else matters. I have always had a bunch of knowledge but strigglet to apply it CONSISTENTLY, not just in BURSTS Before deadlines. Habits are the key, so is facing death, when proscrastinating.

Pool is amazing. Listen to thrisha (peak poker performance) on habits, laws of human nature, be realistic. Understand that generation you are in, inner aggression, a dark side, social situations, fear of death habd an impact on you, have formed you. ACCEPT IT, bring SELF-AWARENESS as much as you can. Be readically honest with YOURSELF, while enjoying putting onmasks with others, as you always do. OWN your masculine and feminine strenghts. Singing brings flow, I migth be fascinated in expressive women, drawn to them as I suppress the same within MYSELF. Use your dark side for good, channel it positively.

Star Trek TNG Story:

 
Wesley fucked up, killed a cadet. He owned up to it later, and Picard told him "You have made a mistake. You are facing the consequences. There are hard tmes ahead, take it as a matter of fact, as taking responsibility for your own actions. You accept the feelings, your new situation, and you deal with it head on"


- Chills seeing Picard deliver that so powerfully without judgement. Both understood the sutuation, the punishment, yet acted as equals, no passive aggression, no yelling, whining, no hiding from the consequences.

Zig Ziglar: There is always something you could do this week to make your life all worse. But that also means you can make it better - the choice and responsibility to act, react to whatever your situation is, is YOURS!

I had some weird experiences, started laughing. Went doing dips on children's swingset, while listening to Laws of Human Nature, contemplating death. While at the same time thinking about trying to fucking channel the nofap energy into more reps. So bizzare I started seeing the ridiculousness of it and started laughing.

Face your own errors, and face consequences. Pain and death are part of life, feel it, acceptit, CHANNEL IT as best you can. Feel your judgement of people, try to balance the natural biases and brain making assumptions automatically.


I keep to rationalise my PAST Actions right away - In poker after a decision I t ry my best to rationalise it retrospectively, often feeling guilty and trying to hide it - this doesn't allow me to face thespot and actually change it. The decisions you make UNDER PRESSURE through IMMEDIATE ACTIONS are a resilt of habits, experiences, you you fed your mind and your current state.
You should NOT:
1) Feel guilty for such immediate actions
2) You should accept it as part of YOU, all your life lead to that monent.
3) If you think you can act better, work on
- habits
- states
- feeding brain with inputs that will lead to increasing improvements.
Study your past actions like an observer or an impartial scientist. Without prejudice. not "I could have done XYZ ro feel better"
It's that "dead you" => focus on present, focus on forming the NOW for the FUTURE. Accept, own up to and take responsibility for your actions instead of getting hung up on the illusion of constant rational control.

It feels amazing with people to notice their bodu language, expressions, try to figure out wgar rget are thinking, feeling, it's like I've been blind and now I amstarting to see. You are you, you mold it slowly by habits, you listen to, read, but use your CHARACTERISTICS = not fauilts but CHARACTERISTICS, skills.

Morning routine:
Bruish teerg
shower
stretch
breakfast
Write
clean
Walk
positive resources like Coray Wayne.


Grandma is awesome, real inspiration. Take care of your body, cold shower in the morning, There is depth in every person, make it your point to take them as facts to be explored, fascinated by
1) body Language
2) Pause know your own thoughts.
BITCH, why do I spend so much time + trying tryong to project them?
3) Try to get into their shoes, figure out how they see the world, what drives them, what their values are, what motivates them, how self-aware they are.

If we don't suffer we don't learn a thing. Life, bu definition is suffering, embrace it, live it = > before sunset at the bus. Live in the moment, just choose to live and be happy in this moment. Trust your uniqueness.

At this point you were meeting Vera, David, Aaron, bash.

I don't APOLOGISE, I take RESPONSIOBILITY . I THANK, accept my mistakes, calmly. I move on, rectify through ACTIONS! I am my own mother, my own father, I look for approval from WITHIN, use my constant creativity, imagination to build my character. I see people for who they are, facts, to be fascinated by, explored, unraveled, with their flaws and strenghts, NOT as a blank canvass I paint my projections, insecurities and hopes on. The MUSE has to come from WITHIN. I have a beatifully creative mind, I can live in fantasy, come up with solutions, idealise people, situations.
=> You project patterns on people instead of making space to get to know their real self. You interrupt with ideas, listen, nmind wants to interrupt, acknowledge that from within Observe it, let it go + listen. You are overdoing projections in poker patterns.

In Love
Make mistakes, keep making them. Worst in us can comeout, make shitty decisions.
BUT! As I WRITE, work, I have strenght, self-control, experience to keep self-control.
=> Try your best to keep self-awareness.
=> Try your best to tone down projections, take people at face value, pay attention to ACTIONS
=> Keep realism, be fascinated by sttrenght

Listen to people, take them as facts. You know your own head, there is no value in talking ot trying to be funny . Get their poing of view, try to figure out how their mind works, find it fascinating.
!Hope! Always have long-term focus, what things you can do to inevitably crush. You are DONE surviving, doing the minimum, trying to please peple.

When planning
Always lookfor realistic delays, things that can go wrong. Budget hours for unexpected events. Plan for what you do if shit goes wrong. Watch your own videos! Why wouldn't you enjoy watching your own work?

Alex
- Poland,22, has mom polish embassy worked, considers herself czech. Camp leader for volunteers - jewish cemetery etc.
Translates between organizers, likes skulls, parents separated, religious reasons
=> This was in meeitings with aaron, bash, Alex. Pointed out I have dated self-centered women.


Nofap
Can't write this one - "getting horny, hot chick yada yada, what I'd do to here"
Use sexuality as energy!


Feels amazing with no porn.
Horny? Exercise, makes you horny, you exercise more => win.

Felt guilty for rejecting O's hand when we met in Brothers when we were crossing a crosswalk, lot of resentment, "take care" as in bze ´: it was over. When I said I was pushed physically I worried that she will judge my character, as weak, or that she will assume my life is tirind. Worrying about how I look in HER eyes = > projection, thinking about me, perception of others.



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93% Sure!  

PuertoRican   United States. Jan 19 2024 04:05. Posts 13014


  On January 18 2024 14:29 LemOn[5thF] wrote:
Horny? Exercise, makes you horny, you exercise more => win.


Rekrul is a newb 

LemOn[5thF]   Czech Republic. Jan 19 2024 04:18. Posts 15162

Oh yeah that - when I did nofap I worked out or did sports for 8x per week. Healthiest year of my life. I went to workout when frustrated. Which was always:D

93% Sure! Last edit: 19/01/2024 04:19

 



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