Purpose of life

-move out of house (your 26) it will help you grow and the freedom would be like a breath of fresh air
-call gf and dump her. sounds like you got some suspicious problems with her already. long distance relationships dont work. you are too desperate around her which makes you weak vulnerable and a weenie. become an alpha male and find 2 more girlfriends before you get trapped and become miserable forevarr.
-play more games if you want. escape into the digital realm and forget your problem.
-find a group of friends from your school. surely you have 1 or 2. call them to do something. no need to fear rejection you make 10k a month. money buys everything
-a new car might help you compensate with your insecurities along with a lot more materialistic things.
-start drinking sounds like it will do some good for you.

I think in general males are happy as long as they feel socially/sexually successful and are building something. What you build changes over time, but you must be passionate about your craft and find meaning on it; it can be your warcraft or poker skills, an actual DYI thing, your muscles (or your strength in my case) or even money. It's not important what you are building, only that it matters to you.

Also, personal opinion: you posted you are 140 pounds, don't remember your height. That's unnaceptable for a male imo. I'd swap you infinite hours of weight lifting coaching for a few poker ones

Edit: Mine is competitive powerlifting (and amateur oly lifting )

+1 to Gotunk's post

my happiness hax:
-hosting/playing progressive forum RPGs
-playing games with emphasis on progress (diablo 3)
-getting stoned
-random conversation with potential mates

Weed, music, and poker.

but like gotunk said i think its important to feel independent as a male, and to be achieveing something, working on some goal.

thats it pretty much i think

Eating healthier and working out a bit defenetely helps, just snapping into a more positive mindset where u get shit done and ur active.




this lecture/1hr talk is really really good i think

Watched both videos. Here are my cliffs for each:


1.

You can be fucked up on the inside but still be perfect on the outside. Don't wear it on your sleeve or people will avoid you and you will get no where.
Start doing anything even if it sucks because it's better than being lazy and doing nothing.
Hack your own brain and think of any type of procrastinating/deluding/unhappy behavior as agents of the devil. Think of anything you can to throw some fight in you.


2.

There are 2 types of happiness.
1. Hedonia - Short term happiness things where you'll get a spike of happiness and then come crashing down, such as cocaine, materialistic things, having a winning session on poker.
2. Eudaemonia - Long term happiness where you'll always be happy because you are working on a set of goals. Use these goals as a compass to base your life decisions around. However, never make long term end result goals because it would be telling your brain that you're not happy with your present self, and who knows, your goals may change.

Don't look too far into the future because there are too many possibilities. Just be happy/content with where you are now and let your eudaemonia sensors guide you. Do this as opposed to setting long term goals, reaching the result, and creating new goals. It will never be enough.



Longple - Thanks for the videos man, really interesting stuff. It just put some fight in me!

GoTunk - Yeah I agree. I think I posted my weight/height because subconsciously or maybe consciously I don't like the way I am. I guess a few of my eudaemonia sensors would tell me to be more socially, sexually successful like you mentioned but I don't know how. Gaining more muscle can be a start. Interesting proposal... Tell me how you can help me and let me know how I can help you.

This question has to be awnsered so differently for every single idividual..

My life hacks to be happy/balanced are a wide variety of things:

1. Start your day right. - I used (as a student thats obv standard) to sleep until at least 12-1pm all the time, but recently started to plan my days - get up earlier, hit the gym, do things that you would also do if you slept another 4-5 hours but have them done by the time you would usually get up! This leaves much more time to be productive or to use your day the way you want!

2. Find out what catches your attention the most! For me this includes a lot of different things: Reading interesting stuff/ Meeting friends/partying/sports/getting wasted/ getting high (maybe not ideal if youre in a psychological personal crisis right now)/ an evening of pokergrinding/ an evening of nerding games/ watching a new series with gf or a friend. Find out what gives you "inner peace" - dont focus on doing it on a daily basis, but plan your days around it, so youre happy and look forward for the activities you chose to be your most important ones.

3. Start today. Don't think "id love to have that" "id love to go there" "id love to do that" and then think to yourself - "well I can go for that tomorrow".. thats bullshit! Ive always been a lazy guy, had lots of friends but was lazy as fuck for many years... Since I hit the gym ~2 1/2 years ago, that apect changed completely. Go for what you want right away, start now, not tomorrow or the day after because this kind of mindset keeps you locked in a sort of personal shelter and its harder to escape the longer you stay in it.

Idk why I just posted this random stuff thinking it might help ya this for sure is no guarantee to have a happy life, but it helps you in the short run to plan your life for the long run while not (hopefully) getting bored or depressed all the time.

Weirdly enough the things i love are on the 2 excesses, but mainly :
talk to interesting, well-read people
play some game like snooker, bowling, monopoly w friends or just hang out w/e
read a shit ton of stuff about new topics that intrigue you
play 12hr sessions @ some game when you've had enough socializing
start your day early - I rediscover this practically May/April together w the gym and it usually lasts up until September, also like to go through whole beatport.com to see whats new almost every time i wake up
I'd say smoke weed too, but tbh im kind of skeptical about the weed here, used to smoke somewhat often, but im pretty sure they mix up the weed w chemicals which could potentially fuck you up, not sure about other countries except Holland

Basically getting smarter and less ignorant and better physically ( which also helps mentally a lot) is what gives me a sense of progress which i guess makes me happy

Lifting helps me a ton

Gotta do work.