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Highcard Canada. Oct 21 2010 18:01. Posts 5428 | | |
So I live in a sexy spot in ottawa, 1 block away from a huge ass grocery store. I was grinding some HU and was like god damn I am hungry and I don't have any food in the house, lets go grab some shit fast and get back to grinding. What happens? Fucking retards happened.
You know how grocery stores are gay now? No longer have the nice carry baskets? you have to roam half way across the store to find the single 1 left? You are only picking up like 12 things and fucking navigating a sea of middle-aged-to-near-death seniors with a cart is so beyond -ev time that it feels unbearable? Well fuck I guess that is life, so I manned up and took the closest cart I could find.
Pwning corners, old people, dumb children, insane tight squeezes at full-speed, I am finally done picking up bagel fulls, delissio pizzas, havarti cheese, sun-rype fruit+veg drink, etc. etc. and make way to the biggest gamble of the entire evening, Do I go for a random cashier-line packed with endless people OR the self-serve which is literally such a fucking gamble IDK what the fuck half the people are doing trying to check themselves out.
The entire pain of my existence, the fucking Self Checkout, is meant for people with too many items to go to the quickcashier 1-8 but just enough to fit into 2 bags--at most. ALSO a minimum IQ 100< . Why? Because retards fucking the entire self checkout system up. There is only 1 reason why self checkout is slow-- retards. No retards, no delay. I wish I knew what the fuck they are thinking but I realize these are the same fuckups that will drive in the left lane on a highway going under the speed limit, merge at an on ramp at 1/2 the speed limit and completely fuck you if you are trying to merge behind them and eventually drive you to insanity (pun not intended). These retards are just so clueless to how slow they are and how much everyone else wants to murder them. So what do I do?
I pray to god when I am counting the shit in my cart that is under 9> so I can gtfo of this place and go to the speedcashier. 1, 2,3...7...who the fuck am I kidding of course I have more than 8, how the fuck do you go to a big ass grocery store with a huge cart and not pick up more than 8 things. Then I ask, is it low enough to fake the speedcashier and smile when she scans the 12th item? ROFL I am too much of a pansy obviously why do I always bother thinking about this. Time to GAMBLEZ, selfcheck baby, 1 time.
Shit starts out easy, 2nd in line, 3 people scanning their shit and all of them are near the end of scanning. Looks like a slam dunk. Then out of nowhere variable A for asshole comes along. There is always 1 dumbfuck asshole who can't figure out where the end of the self-checkout line is and always try to jump ahead of everyone. No Bitch, gtfo behind me or go gamble the other selfcheckout line. Once that bullshit distraction is finished I look back to see the progress and wtf is all that comes to mind. I have been god-fucked again, I literally am witnessing 3 full-retards and they still are scanning the same shit. All 3 of them, middle-age, 1 short-stalky man, 1 ginormous whale and 1 random women. The man can't stop staring at the screen and then looking at the clerk, then back at the screen. The random women has vegetables which she wants but has no idea what the name is so she can't scan them and the fucking whale is being the fat lazy stupid ho that she obviously is. Lets forget about the first two since they are going to be a while, and focus on the whale.
The whale has completed all the packing of at least 8 full size eco bags (WTF you stupid cunt don't you know the rules?) and is at the pay screen, so why the FUCK aren't you paying? I will tell you why, because she just got a text on her blackberry. She looks down at her clip on phone, pulls it out, scrolls a fuck-ton, seems satisfied and puts the phone back in the clip. Ok bitch you are testing my patience but since you are 10x more likely to leave than the other 2 I will let it slide but don't do anything else stupid because the consequences will never be the same. So what does she do? Ok, this is asinine, this women is a troll, she HAS to be a troll, this bitch just sinned more than a priest does when alone with children. Out of her skin-tight cause-o-how-fat-she-is jeans comes a wad of mother fucking small bills. OMG HEAD EXPLODE
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| I have learned from poker that being at the table is not a grind, the grind is living and poker is how I pass the time | Last edit: 22/10/2010 00:56 |
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Ket  United Kingdom. Oct 21 2010 18:12. Posts 8665 | | |
HAHAHA i def rofled all the way thru this, i too suffer from extreme supermarket rage when surrounded by slow ppl . |
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Highcard Canada. Oct 21 2010 18:16. Posts 5428 | | |
thanks I will finish it later |
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| I have learned from poker that being at the table is not a grind, the grind is living and poker is how I pass the time | |
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whamm! Albania. Oct 21 2010 18:26. Posts 11625 | | | |
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supermarket rage is the worst
go in for chicken, rice, vegetables, and water...come out with chicken, rice, vegetables, water, and the worst fucking headache ever |
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| shoving here as a bluff at 50NL is like explaning calcalus to a 6 month old cat wtf are you thinking - TalentedTom | |
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Miller United States. Oct 21 2010 19:42. Posts 31 | | | |
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John Galt Canada. Oct 21 2010 19:47. Posts 618 | | |
LOL. i used to live in ottawa
where is this? |
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| MaidenFan: Stop worrying about what might be or what coulda been, the former is totally out of your control, and the latter is nothing but a twisted fantasy | |
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K40Cheddar United States. Oct 21 2010 22:11. Posts 2202 | | | |
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Zep United States. Oct 21 2010 22:49. Posts 2292 | | |
"a real fucking poet"
-ATP |
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| NeillyJQ: I really wanted to prove to myself I could beat NL200, I did over a small sample, and believe Ill be crushing there in the future. | |
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YouGoTGoT United States. Oct 22 2010 10:16. Posts 1118 | | |
Shop at 9PM bro, basically have the store to yourself |
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| YA I TALK SHIT, GOTTA DEFECATE TO CONVERSATE | |
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