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Uptown . Jan 02 2009 01:22. Posts 3557 | | |
tl;dr / emo / who cares blog.
This blog is a combination of resolutions for 2009, reflections on my first two months in poker, and an assertion of my commitment to improving.
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Being in the midst of a collosal downswing has driven me to reflect on my shortcomings, my purpose, why I am playing this game and what I seek to get from it.
Purpose: My purpose in playing is for improvement and enjoying “the game”. While many players here and elsewhere play for monetary reasons (and I fully respect that), I am fortunate enough to not worry about earning a decent wage for the rest of my life. However, I will always need a semi-time-killing hobby to keep me occupied, be it Starcraft, Dota, boardgames, or random reading – internet or hard copy. As I wrote in one of my earlier blogs, I was convinced by Tenbagger to try committing to this game, as it actually gives players who excel at it and strive to become better a tangible and meaningful reward – maybe even the most meaningful kind around. I am willing to admit though, that because of these factors my commitment and drive in the game will be weaker and wavering than many others here. Hence I will inevitably face dilemmas where I will want to quit the game and spend my time elsewhere, etc. It will be up to me to wade through the high tide and get to the other shore when this happens – like it is right now actually.
Reflections: The first two months have brough me a lot, from the excitement of winning my first all-in hand, to moving up and succeeding, moving up and failing, moving up and failing hard, epic (for me) downswings, wanting to quit, a 10 day hiatus (couldn’t be avoided) that has seemingly really hurt my game, being affected by downswings, etc. I’ve started at NL2, moved up to NL5 quickly, taken shots at NL10 with mixed success, and bombed my way down to NL2 again through a combination of bad beats and coolers as well as a mix of overall poor play.
It is quite fitting then, that having experienced the ups and downs, that I find myself at the starting point again on the first day of 2009, both in terms of bankroll status and the stakes I play at. I know that I have the potential to play at the stakes higher than where I am at, and that the only thing keeping me back will be my unwillingness to do whatever it takes to improve my own play.
I am quite convinced now that I am a weak tight. In fact, I am positive that I am a nitty, weak, worthless POS player. Without admitting this, I feel that I cannot take the first step forward, or as a matter of fact, even get off my big ol’ derrier after my fall down to NL2 again. But what does it mean to be “aggressive”? What is the difference between “aggression” and just donking away my money on each street? Meanwhile, the bigger question will be how do I find this out?
Which leads me to the 3rd point of this entry…
Commitment: In my current low level of poker play, the concept I need to embrace the most is that of “taking actions to improve”. That means playing to improve, reading to improve, and taking advantage of any and all resources available to me to that end. It is something that, while I may have believed to have been doing, I was deluding myself with.
For starters, I need to be educating myself much more than I am now. I feel like 90% of my time is spent playing rather than reading or watching or asking. While playing can certainly make me better, at the low level I am in, reading and watching are far more efficient means of self-improvement. Unfortunately I cannot afford a CR account so really the only resource of this nature I can utilize is the 2p2 Unl recommended threads. My immediate goal will be to finish reading all the threads in their entirity and to make an effort to truly understand the information in it, rather than just “blah reading” it.
More importantly, I vow to fully utilize the resources that are available to make me a better player. Most notably, I will actually start to participate in LP actively and start hand threads in the Low stakes forums, and ditch this high horse “I only write blogs look at me I’m so cool with 0 posts next to my name” thing I’ve been on for the last 2 months. It’s quite pointless, and while I still maintain that the 0 post thing is quite cool, it only means that I’m not doing everything I can to become better. If I’m committed to improving, I cannot let myself keep doing this.
Furthermore, I will never, ever play more than 4 tables. I have usually played around 6-8, and once was playing something like 14 tables (and was actually winning, but that doesn’t matter). As many have attested in various places, the only way to improve is to lower the number of tables and pay attention to yourself and your opponents. I know that I need to stop watching videos on the side or reading TL.net as I play, but being easily bored I’m not quite sure I can take this leap yet!
So this naturally leads me to stating some “resolutions” for the new year. All of these are designed for the sole purpose of improving. After all, my purpose in the game is to improve and to enjoy. I shouldn’t be chasing the money as the primary objective. To be doing so would be lying to myself. In fact, “going for the money” will most likely hinder my advancement as a player, as I will be playing robot poker on 20 tables if that were the case.
Resolutions for 2009
- read all available poker resources, starting from the 2p2 archives
- take advantage of LP’s community, actively taking part in its discussions and asking for help/advice
- No more “weak tight”, while avoiding my inner donkey
- 4 tables or less at all times
Cheers LP, and thank you for being an entertaining, manner community that I am not ashamed of being a part of.
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roflcopter United States. Jan 02 2009 02:38. Posts 620 | | |
you seem awfully hard on yourself, but hope to see you posting in lowstakes and GL |
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| KwarK_uK: and if that was a bluff you deserved the pot for ballerness | |
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SakiSaki  Sweden. Jan 02 2009 03:59. Posts 9685 | | | |
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| what wackass site is this nigga? | |
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Uptown . Jan 04 2009 03:58. Posts 3557 | | |
Thanks for the comments/encouragement~ |
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