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RiKD    United States. Apr 19 2020 22:11. Posts 6314
I just ate a big lunch and have to let it settle a bit before getting back to some reading.

Marcuse talks about how we see our "soul" in the commodities we buy. Or at least some people. That is a pretty shit form of spirituality. It kind of preys on this idea that we should be authentic. We have no "soul" so we can fix that by buying stuff. It's a ruse mastered by the marketing department. I could be falling for it as we speak but I think I am pretty strong in this area. Mostly because I simply don't buy stuff.

That's why I love Nature. The trees don't try and sell my anything. The natural arrangements of the flowers. I can still remember the beauty of the patches of wild violets in the woods behind my childhood home. The sounds of the streams. The birds singing their songs. We can learn a lot from birds. We cannot learn a lot from the "Daily Mirror." "The "intelligent" tabloid."

I have been getting into Allen Ginsberg poetry and William Burroughs novel "Naked Lunch." I don't know if I would say that I am underwhelmed exactly. There is definitely some good stuff there. I just think that period gets a little bit too much credit for the art that was produced. There's definitely some great stuff enmeshed in it all but overall I would say it is overrated. For the times I could see it being a big deal I just don't think it holds up as well as other stuff throughout the history of the earth. I could change my mind as I read more. Maybe, maybe not.

Oh well. I think my food is probably digested enough. Have a good day all. Toodles.

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 Last edit: 19/04/2020 22:13

RiKD    United States. Apr 21 2020 19:22. Posts 6314

Sometimes I dream of Jiu-Jitsu. I would probably be a Purple Belt or a really good Blue Belt at this point if I would have stuck with it. Which is a tall order. I think Jiu-Jitsu almost has to be an addiction or an obsession. I remember spraining my thumb and taping that sum bitch up and getting after it with virtually no rest. Same thing when I pulled my groin and there were constant bumps and bruises. Especially when I was an upper White Belt promoted to advanced classes. I didn't have the talent on the floor. A lot of things didn't come easy to me and I was getting my ass handed to me by mid-upper Blue Belts. I mean they were really mopping up the floor with me. My gas tank was lacking. It was bad news. It felt hopeless even if I was mopping the floor with clueless White Belts. I didn't really go against those guys/gals anymore. I think my real talent was in Greco Roman wrestling and dirty boxing. I was pretty good at boxing too talent wise. Muay Thai I didn't really have the dexterity in the kicks. Wrestling I had a great sprawl and that was about it. My goal was to enter the cage at some point in an amateur fight. I thought that would be a nice project/adventure. Boy did I burn out in that endeavor.

Now, I like reading stuff and going on walks. Sometimes one needs a little distance and reflection to truly contemplate things. I always like basketball more than wrestling. I was a very good tennis player but liked lacrosse more than tennis. Sometimes I regret that as I could play tennis into old age and was actually better at tennis than I was in lacrosse. One has to follow there passions I suppose.

But what am I doing here?

I don't feel like watching YouTube videos or reading books. I was just laying down in my bed staring at the wall.

I had a dream the other night that I was eating at a restaurant by myself and snuck a glass of wine. Then I was trying my hardest not to have another glass of wine to prove I could do it and it was hell. On a day like today if I were still drinking I would have definitely started by now. I was talking to drone666 about drugs and LSD and ketamine sound amazing. I never did either of those drugs. Drone666 makes a great case for LSD, Zen Buddhism, and Epictetus. I am holding strong in my exploration of Heidgger, Marcuse, and the Beat Generation though. I feel like "On The Road" by Jack Kerouac is something I should have read in my late teens to mid 20s but I am finding it interesting. "Braiding Sweetgrass" by Robin Wall Kimmerer is maybe the best of the bunch. I am really enjoying that one.

Maybe I am trying to read too much at once. I think it can kind of break the day up a bit better as if I'm studying for different courses though.


drone666   Brasil. Apr 24 2020 09:18. Posts 1774

dont forget to read my signature

Dont listen to anything I say 

RiKD    United States. Apr 24 2020 21:22. Posts 6314

You make a good case for both LSD and Ketamine. Ketamine is off the menu for sure because I would surely abuse it. Like I told you before LSD is only off the menu because multiple Doctors have told me to never use it due to my Bipolar I. I don't think alcoholics should be demonized for doing things like shrooms or LSD. I think these things can actually help matters.

I have 6 years clean and sober today. Imagine that?

I've been reading so much in my bed I've developed like soreness/cramps in my legs. I think it even might be something like restless leg syndrome but I don't know if it's that serious. Anyone ever deal with this before?

RiKD    United States. Apr 26 2020 18:18. Posts 6314

In Praise of Idleness - Bertrand Russell

RiKD    United States. Apr 26 2020 20:05. Posts 6314

I am experimenting with pushing the limits on idleness. I read for a bit this morning and then just stared at the wall for an hour. It was nice. I think I had an epiphany reading "On the Road" by Jack Kerouac. I was conscientiously reading this story and it was kind of shit but I just kept reading and reading. After reading it it's like what's the difference. What's the difference if I stare at a wall or doze off or read a book or whatever. I was happy staring at the wall. I have built up my idleness powers by avoiding all social media and passive entertainment even Reddit.


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