I am just here at Midnight EST alone with not much to do per usual.
Poll: Did you have a Valentine's Day date?
(Vote): Yes
(Vote): No
Comments? How did your day go?
My phone died. I had to dig up some old timey alarm clock to wake up for work. Then I went to work and now I am here... alone... Midnight EST... per usual. My phone might be ok though.
Everything's so fragile. My phone is fragile. My car is fragile. My CPU is fragile. I AM SO FRAGILE. It feels like anyone of these things could go at any moment.
REMEMBER DEATH
My mom has this awesome Don Drumm cat that is staring at me:
Art is great but I don't currently have any inspiration. I painted the most bright and beautiful woman that I have ever painted the other day and then I painted flowers blossoming, a river of blood, a rising son, and Japanese characters. I just like the aesthetic of the most right pink, blood red, and BLACK. Obv getting the right pink is the most important. It has more white than it than red that's for sure but not too much. It's just the most right pink.
I will go to Japan one day. I must. If I had the money I would fly to San Fransisco spend some time with some friends there. Hopefully, with one of the loves of my life. My God that red backless dress she wore the last time I saw her... No, that wasn't the last time I saw her but still... and one of my best friends. Fly to Hawaii because I've never been there and it seems up my alley. Fly to Tokyo to take that in, go to Kyoto, actually, aren't there people here who live in or have been to Japan? Maybe go to Seoul. Home of Byung Chul-Han, Bong Joon-Ho, and SlayerS_Boxer.
I painted a prototype the other day. Damn, that red backless dress is a prototype. I've had a crush on her since high school. There are women everywhere. I was sitting next to 4 women last night that I could reasonably date.
Japan, prototypes, Love...
And I'm so God damn broke. Probably in more ways than one. Fuck capitalism. My therapist says there is nothing holding me back as far as she knows. I don't think I'm withholding anything. Yeah, it seems like I have a pretty good grasp on my Bipolar I and alcoholism. I don't know man. I don't think a Doctor can really relate to what capitalism is like. My psychiatrist/therapist has admitted as much. Capitalism is great for them. They get paid well enough and have plenty of patients to keep them fat and happy. Capitalism chews the patients up and spits them out back in the Doctors' offices. And I sit here fantasizing about Japan and prototypes and Love while I'm heavily in medical debt. The Loser is me. The Winner is Capitalism, the Doctors, the Pharmaceutical companies, the Politicians that get money from the Pharmaceutical companies...... I have no choice really. At least it seems that way. I need the Doctors and the meds. The politicians can fuck off. The greedy CEOs can fuck off. Don't even get me started on the insurance companies. You want to talk about resentments? I got 'em. They say that resentments are the number 1 reason for relapse. Well, I'm full of them. I could probably type myself into a rage right now if I felt like it but I don't feel like it. I wish Food Not Bombs was tomorrow so I could get into this with all of them and have a good time. I am glad I have that as an outlet now. We can all rage against the machine a little bit and have a good time and make some food for some people.
One day I will give this website up. This blogging up. But I do like a lot of the people on here. Oh well. I think tonight I will probably spend the rest of my day with David Foster Wallace (RIP). Not a bad Valentine's Day. May we all live with grace because life is hard and death is so terribly final.
0 votes
Last edit: 17/02/2020 05:49
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Santafairy Korea (South). Feb 15 2020 19:31. Posts 2225
You drew the most bright and beautiful woman and didn't upload it
How do you unreasonably date someone also
It seems to be not very profitable in the long run to play those kind of hands. - Gus Hansen
On February 17 2020 07:16 Into Infinity wrote:
watching videos created by a multi millionaire recording artist, hosting on a multi billionaire platform that makes money off of ads
at least i enjoyed my meal lol. try not being a bitter hater once in a while, maybe that will help with your depression
I listen to the music on Spotify and use Youtube to link it. I pay $9.99/month for no ads and no bullshit. I quite like the Spotify experience. You think Andre 3000 is bougie?
Eating 32oz or so of steak is gross in more ways than one.
I don't know why I just happen to like being a bitter hater mostly with you. You are a caricature. I'm not currently depressed. I'm firing on all cylinders baby. *pew pew*
No, I am just energized from meeting half the leftists in my city yesterday. We have more important things to do than spend top coin on eating 2 lbs. or so of tortured and slaughtered cow and watch drugged out humans in small pants try to hit a ball while being inundated with advertisements and materialism. You go ahead and live your life but if you post about it I'm going to make fun of it.
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Into Infinity United States. Feb 18 2020 17:20. Posts 1884
oh no it's andre with a braves hat... what a terrible guy. and yes andre is bougie, wtf kind of question is that. ignorance if you think any one of your favorite music artists, especially rappers, aren't
i'm a caricature? the only thing you know about me is my watch and try to "educate" me by telling me i'm materialistic. you ponder "how to date bad left chicks" by posting a picture of elon musk of all people lol
you're a straight clown with your head so far up your ass. make fun of me all you want, at least i enjoy life. you live in your little grimdark world, hating everything, looking for something to take your anger out on.
go eat some more trash with your homeless friends for all i care
I mean he's clearly upper class but he doesn't rap about bougie shit. I would also wager he couldn't name a single current Braves player which I don't know if that makes the hat wearing better or worse.
Someone else posted that picture of Elon Musk. We then went on to make fun of him and his "leftist" girlfriend. I know more than that about you. From your posts your lifestyle is grotesque. It is a caricature of this young, tech whiz who is trying to fill up the hole inside. I actually don't know if there is a hole inside and you very well could be living it up. Well, you seem to be "living it up." I would just ask that you take some time away from your pleasure simulation to consider the vulnerable beings around the planet Earth. But why would you ever do this?
"Go eat some more trash with your homeless friends for all I care"
Have you ever wondered why people are homeless? Like actually looked into it and understood it?
Who cares right? Let's all just gorge ourselves on slaughtered animals and buy watches.
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hiems United States. Feb 19 2020 00:04. Posts 2979
On February 18 2020 20:05 RiKD wrote:
Someone else posted that picture of Elon Musk. We then went on to make fun of him and his "leftist" girlfriend.
Dammn rikd, you sure showed elon musk up good job. lol...
I beat Loco!!! [img]https://i.imgur.com/wkwWj2d.png[/img]
I think it was mostly Santafairy talking about how Musk is a forever alone nerd. I don't know much about the guy besides that he's a no good capitalist pig that dates some woman who apparently was sort of leftist at one point but now is definitely not.
There is no good way to "show up" someone to people that idolize him. I'm just trying to get to the truth.
I don't hate you Into Infinity nor am I envious. I love all humans. I just like giving you a hard time. You couldn't really be anyone different to who you are at this moment in time. I can't hate you for that. It's just a class warfare thing. I am not going to applaud you for doing "baller" shit just as you are going to make fun of me for hanging out with leftists and feeding a community in need. I don't really see how the ladder can be scorned but that's why you and your ilk are fucking stupid and need your heads cut off or to be thrown in a gulag somewhere................... Actually, I don't really know how to solve the problem. It's so entrenched and normalized. There's no way out for people like Into Infinity unless something drastic happens. They just go on living their lives thinking the universe revolves around them and that reality exists to be exploited for pleasure/money/status.
I wish I could find this damn quote but I can't. One downside to the Kindle is that I can't just throw a bookmark in there where I want to or at least I am unaware if that is possible.
Anyways, it is from k-punk and other collected writings about how certain people are basically in a pleasure simulation where even if they are dissatisfied they have at least enough low frequency or high frequency stimulation that they don't realize it. It's not really on the surface. The truly dissatisfied are the ones who read and think. Also, that political anger fends off depression. I'd rather be dissatisfied and angry than caught in a pleasure simulation or depressed.
You can bookmark a page, the icon is right next to "go to". Once you have more than one bookmark in the book you can choose between them when inside a book by using that icon again. You can also export your highlights and notes onto your computer. https://my.clippings.io
If you do a word search in the book for "hedonic" or "boredom" you'll probably find what you're looking for.
fuck I should just sell some of my Pokemon cards, if no one stakes that is what I will have to do - lostaccount
"The interests of the working class are the interests of all; the interests of the bourgeoisie are the interests of capital, which are the interests of no-one. Our struggle must be towards the construction of a new and surprising world, not the preservation of identities shaped and distorted by capital."
"Thought, meanwhile, begins beyond the pleasure principle. As Houellebecq says in relation to Lovecraft, only those who are dissatisfied with life want to read and think."
United States. Feb 15 2020 06:53. Posts 8522
