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Total Eclipse

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RiKD    United States. Aug 23 2017 19:19. Posts 4226
I went to Smalltown, USA the other day to hang out with family and view the total eclipse. Smalltown, USA is quite a place. It almost feels like being in some other dimension. There is the Dollar General store and a small square. I went a day with out my laptop or the internet. It felt ok. I learned how to hang out on a recliner or a couch or a patio chair like a pro. Just talking the day away. I stayed at the house across the street all by myself. It was kind of weird. It was an older house but it had a bed and a bathroom. The other people that were supposed to stay there decided to stay at a hotel. It was not that bad. The shower was actually amazing.

I have always liked cookouts. Just hanging out and having some good bites. A great shower and some ok coffee on drip. Just set me up with that coffee drip into the veins and I will be ok. I ate some kind of bullshit Trader Joe's coffee dunker things that ended up working out ok then it was on to "The Price is Right." It reminded me of the time I was in Pasadena, CA with some LP'ers and we sat around gambling on the Games Network games. It wasn't too long before we had the grills ready and the hors d'oeuvres going. The beans and the bean salads though! One of the guys had baked a bunch of chocolate and pecan cookies that were pretty good too.

An eclipse is pretty difficult to explain. You kind of just have to be there. My sister-in-law had a great playlist going and we just kind of chilled looking up at the sun. It starts with a little bite of it and just increases. The weather gets a little cooler. The lighting gets weird. By the time of totality the weather is like 15 degrees cooler and it is dark but a different kind of darkness than after dusk. Everything is just real weird. It kind of reminded me of the movie "The Ring." I was in a dark well here on this earth and within the atmosphere and if I could just get to the rim and get out of the well I would not be as trapped. Really weird perspective but that is just how my life has been going.

Now, I am back to my life in Mt. Pleasant, USA and back to my old habits. Writing on LP, facebook, the internet, watching film. I haven't worked since Thursday. The thorn in my side to quit has not been there yet. I am only scheduled for 16 hours this week so I should be looking for other jobs anyways. We will see how it goes.

My brother is in town so it makes things better. My sister-in-law is cool for the most part. Their toddler is awesome. I really just give my best to those things. They are early in the game. He will most likely have a good childhood. One of those dreamlike childhoods where he is mostly smiling in pictures like it was for me. Then from there who really knows. My brother is serious about him becoming a professional hockey player. That is really kind of silly but it is not my kid. It is nice have more days off this week so I can spend time with them. Of course, it is also less time in the kitchen which is great although if things keep up like this I will be broke next month or the month after that. I don't really have anything else worth selling either. So, writing that out it becomes pretty clear I must get back on the job search or figure out Uber again.

There was another AA person there at the total eclipse party with 29 years. We were able to have some good chats. Extremely on the religious side though. The conversation turned a little sour when he started going on about how important God is.

It was a nice little trip up the road. I am happy to be home but sometimes trips make me realize there are things I need to do about home. There are the comforts that I cling to which could be a good or a bad thing but traveling I get knocked out of my habits a little bit. It is clear I have to search for other jobs and do a better job of finding friends. I could take a bit better care of myself too. Oh, this life, this existence. I really just want it to be time to listen to good music and drink energy drinks in my car on the way to work. Then just be faced with whatever I am faced with there. If I have to cut up 3 bunches of parsley that is just what I have to do. It's like I make meatballs almost every day I am there. I don't even know what I am rooting for. Cantaloupes? Grape tomatoes? Chicken? I suppose that's why they call it work. I can just look at the positive that I will have 2 full days with my brother at least. His wife is cool for the most part and their toddler is great. Sometimes I see these positives of the toddler. They are very consuming of time and energy. You don't really have any sort of "a life" with a toddler but you do have a life with a toddler. The toddler life. It still does not override the fact that it will experience much suffering that is not necessary if you just don't have the kid. Start a car collection, go traveling, there are plenty of things to do besides raise a kid. There is meaning there I suppose. Like, really what the fuck am I going to be doing at 40, 50, 60 and above that is so interesting and important. The fallacy though is that raising kids is important. Everything eventually goes extinct. These God-projects are not real. Blah blah blah.

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