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Being and Nothingness

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RiKD    United States. May 12 2017 06:04. Posts 4799
Being and nothingness. Existence is absurd. What is the antidote? Art. Beauty. Transcendence.

But creating art is similar to helping the suffering. Beauty is grace. Transendence feels like bliss, liberation, nirvana. What is the big deal if I get it through playing the guitar or fucking a delightful lady meat vessel (with a delightful mind duh) or meditating for some time? Nirvana is a bit too strong of a word. It has too many karma and rebirth connotations. Transcendence, bliss, liberation. Forgetting one's self. The absence of suffering. That is what it is all about. There will be dissatisfaction. Existence is absurd remember? Absurdities abound at every corner. They say to be grateful for the absurdity that is existence. To be thankful for consciousness. I am grateful for ice cream when I am eating it maybe. Maybe I don't want to be grateful for existence. What if I rather be dissatisfied? I can go outside and paint a garden and forget all about that kind of bullshit. I can feed a homeless man. I can share my experiences with a drunk. I can watch a waterfall. Flirt with a beautiful woman. We are poisoned with the absurd and with suffering. Antidotes are needed. Some never get them. If you pray please pray for them.

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lebowski   Greece. May 13 2017 20:23. Posts 8958

Yeah it's pretty hard to listen to the usual "gift of life" narrative when sadly absurdism seems to be undeniable

new shit has come to light... a-and... shit! man... 

RiKD    United States. May 15 2017 04:52. Posts 4799

I am re-reading this blog post because I kind of forgot what I wrote but I was thinking in relation to this post:

I was reading some Camus and he talks about liberation through creating fiction. It is like the dude just wrote The Stranger and is writing the key to life for everyone is to create literary fiction...

The priests speak of pray
The monks speak of meditation
The painters speak of painting

It's just funny how that works out.

Loco   Canada. May 15 2017 20:44. Posts 19226

It's just the act of creating that is salutary, it doesn't matter whether it is fiction or something else, as long as it involves the imagination.

For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong. (Mencken) 

RiKD    United States. May 15 2017 23:17. Posts 4799

Rausch: but we don't always hit those lows but we don't have to hit those highs but what if I want to hit those highs and not experience those lows... Seems impossible. So, what do we do? Meditation is what first comes to thought. That and painting a garden or helping someone.

Does anyone really want the life of a Nietszche, or a Dyostoevsky, or a Van Gogh?

failsafe   United States. May 19 2017 06:30. Posts 1013

hey what's up. i am doing well. i have been working on my book after a long time off. it seems to be a very upbeat experience.

i am at almost 75k words, although probably 40k will need to be re-written before publishing.

i have found the secret is now that i have lots of words i can delete a few thousand at a time and transform them into a picture then add some text. since i never drop below 70k i never feel disappointed, lol.... i can finally see the logic of poker bankroll from my diablo 3 games. it's a very rewarding experience at the moment since i have never really been this close to the completion of a project before. i know it will take another year, and of course there are a lot of depressing moments.

there is a lot to be depressed about in life actually since we only live maybe 70 or 80 years and there's a lot of possible stuff we could do. actually i enjoyed a lot of places i've been from vacation in mexico to studying in china... we don't need much money to do these things but it just isn't part of a sustainable strategy. i guess that's what's most disappointing at moments.

why can't we just have five million dollars and build a perfect habitat? there seems to be no reason we can't construct a better community.

i am still in a pretty good mood at the moment because i feel like i'm being productive. you can see it is just productive sometimes to visit a new place and live there for a while, but to be actually productive seems to be more tricky. this might actually be a lot of the ills of society--most productivity is culturally defined. can we be productive without 4-10 more years of school and getting a job? well not really in a lot of contexts so this seems to be the most depressing thing.

it seems we would be happier with more liquidity. surely we can do most of the things now that we could after a lot more school. it's very puzzling actually what to do about financial stuff because it's a very ingrained system. there is something really puzzling about the state of the monetary world: why are we committed to so many things in order to make money? can we ever get away from those commitments?

i don't really know. i did find a place online where i could order 40 pounds of san pedro and peruvian torch for $500 so now that all this has arrived i'm in a pretty good spirit. it seems the benefits will decrease after 3 days of use because of what is called "microtolerance" but even still i am in a good mood because all this is here. even though i feel pretty sober and tired sometimes i think it's mostly due to my past use of antipsychotics and SSRIs which i am sometimes combining with the mescaline. i feel like i am moving through my past mind a lot faster with the cactuses and meditation more than just meditation alone.

actually there are some moments where it seems like meditation by itself might be better but maybe even meditation can cause some problems. what i mean is meditation seems to be an undirected experience if you are not already perfect at meditating--i am pretty unconventional and watch TV and streams (mostly girls) when i am meditating and this makes the experience less peaceful but more directed. still i am really happy with the cactuses and feel like i am getting more direct benefit from escaping past unhealthy states.

i'll be really happy if my book is a success. it's probably my biggest project ever since i have put almost a year and a half into writing and even more time into research. it's coming along really well and the sound of the text has gotten a lot better. it seems friendlier than it did and should be a lot more readable.

positive positivity 

RiKD    United States. May 19 2017 19:48. Posts 4799

Awesome stuff with the book. I am currently listening to Caribou and that is uplifting. I am at a cafe overlooking the street. There is also a beautiful women with a great ass in view. I am slightly high on good coffee and sugar. I am writing. Transcendence I suppose.

It is good to find worthwhile projects. What is on my mind is that the world is still very tragic and absurd but we have to find things to justify the suffering. We have to do things that overcome the burdens. Whether that is weed, or meditation, or writing a book I think it is all great. Being honest I wish I could still smoke weed. I loved smoking weed. I think it is better now though. I have been so unsettled recently. I have been living out of a suitcase for over a month now. I crave some order and some ground to stand on but you know what? I have gotten pretty comfortable riding the rapids of chaos. I am going camping this weekend. There are no great projects to be accomplished just mostly socializing and perhaps hiking and probably reading "Demons" by Dostoevsky when I want to be introverted. I get to go camping with some great people and then actually go home to a house and sleep in my bed. I have not officially slept in my bed maybe one time in 3 years. That is one purchase I am extremely happy with. I sleep like 10 hours a night so I am almost spending half my life in that bed when I am more settled.

Yes! I wish it were more of a sustainable strategy to travel. If I lived in Sweden, I would just stay in school and travel. My being wants to go back to school but this might change tomorrow. I just feel there are things I need to be educated on and that certain academic settings are the best place for it.

failsafe   United States. May 20 2017 15:52. Posts 1013

Ironically "Demons" is the only of Dostoevsky I haven't read. If you want a really funny take on Dostoevsky I recommend The Makioka Sisters by Junichiro Tanazki. It's a thoroughly Japanese take on Dostoevsky and really funny. My dad bought "Demons" for me last year, and I ended up throwing it away before I finished it. I am a compulsive thrower-away-of-things.

Today started off a little slow for me. There is a lot of cleaning and menial work to do. I went shopping at Wal-mart and ran into one of my favorite South American professors who gave me a "15" before I dropped his class. It was the only 15 I ever received. He's a funny guy.

positive positivity 

failsafe   United States. May 20 2017 15:56. Posts 1013

The academic setting is actually a lot of fun. I went back to school two years ago and was surprised how "easy" an undergraduate education could be--even at a very difficult program. I know you said you wanted to be a therapist. This seems like a great line of work. I've been getting therapy for a pinched nerve in my neck and the therapy is one of the most rewarding aspects of my week. I've started going twice a week. I actually think your experience with poker could help a lot with therapy. Most of the therapists seems to practice a sort of holistic and non-invasive approach and the environment is really laid back.

There seems to be a lot of support for the psychological aspect of medicine--especially where therapeutic approaches are concerned. You wouldn't really need an edge in that field but I think poker could give you one anyway.

positive positivity 

jeremy5408   United States. May 27 2017 00:36. Posts 122

i dont know how people do it. i want something similar to a self lobotomy to be happy :/


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