https://www.liquidpoker.net/


LP international Poland latinoamerica Iceland    Contact            Users: 112 Active, 8 Logged in - Time: 18:21

Well, Pretty much, Buddhism

New to LiquidPoker? Register here for free!
Forum Index > Poker Blogs
RiKD    United States. Apr 27 2017 07:45. Posts 4002
It is great to just be out with people. Grabbing some pizza pies down at the pizzaria with the magic pies. Great crust, magical sauce. How do they make that sauce? It's so sweet. Maybe they put in some honey. It's a family recipe for the ages. I wanted to talk to a guy about Buddhism but ended up at a picnic table with some great people long into the night. It makes up for a mixed up day. No errands done but that is ok. Manana. I suppose I don't even want to talk about Buddhism anymore but here goes:

Don't read if you don't want to talk about Buddhism (unless you just want to talk about life and living that's cool):

So, there is always going to be suffering. Even if I am a buddhist monk I will suffer. I can eat a modest breakfast and meditate and help people all day but there will still be suffering. Suffering for me today means finishing some coffee, bored with the interwebz and 3+ hours until a meeting. What do I read? What do I do? Actually, a better example is RIGHT NOW. NOW. NOW. I get home from a great night with some great people and don't feel like going to sleep. What do I do NOW? NOW? NOW? I write some stuff and put NOW in all caps. The other idea is the idea of attachment. I will say 2 attachments that come to mind is a.) I would... actually there are a lot. I want to live. I want to wake up tomorrow. I want my limbs. I want my senses. I want my own apartment. I want to meet a compatible women and fall in love. How do we deal with these attachments in relation to suffering?
It just seems like every time I start getting into buddhism I decide I have to become a buddhist monk to achieve a desirable state. I need it to get the right dosage of happiness, peace, serenity, unsuffering. On the other hand just getting out and socializing with awesome people seems to be a great dosage of living. Dating and seeing where that goes is a great dosage of living. I want to fuck and I want some stuff but I don't want that running my life. That is pretty much what it boils down to. I want to fuck and I want some stuff but I don't want that running my life.

0 votes
Facebook Twitter

failsafe   United States. Apr 27 2017 11:41. Posts 1007

I'm getting some mixed results today. It looks like you could vape mescaline powder for almost an eternity (although there have to be better ways to vape than this). The mescaline powder seems to interact very well with SSRIs at really low doses (hmm) but not very well in high doses at all

it might be better for you in the long runt ho

positive positivity 

failsafe   United States. Apr 27 2017 15:28. Posts 1007

also. don't worry. i am being quite safe with the mescaline. i am meditating according to instruction and not using large doses.

i can imagine going like full macroatomic chat-roulette on DMT and salvia, and I think that would be pretty dangerous. i have never used DMT but i can see that it suits my theory of a macroatomic universe. basically there should be some sort of universal cohesion or velcro, which surely is what people on DMT experience. i don't think people should be allowed to take DMT and salvia together because it's risky.

but my point is that whatever we believe about mescaline and meditation in these relatively controlled doses, it's surely quite safe. i don't think a human could have much meaningful influence in the macroatomic world--but it's possible, i guess, that it could. i have no idea what a macroatomic world would prescribe exactly. obviously if there is a macroatomic world and it's anything like the world we live in, we could speculate certain things about observation just as we speculate certain things about observation in the atomic-level reality in which we exist.

we don't want a macroatomic observer to just kill itself for no reason, even if it's a child with downsyndrone or something like that. we don't have to suppose a great deal about the harmonics of children with down-syndrome or anything of that nature even if we perceive them to be operating a macroatomic level. they might be macroatomic terrorists and they might not.

bacteria or something like that is not really an atomic terrorist or not an atomic terrorist. it's just a sort of very low causation thing that happened billions of years ago.

if turned out that kim jong un was a reaver or macroatomic terrorist it wouldn't be super surprising but that doesn't make him like a "fearless hero reaver" just because he's operating at an impossibly low level of executive function for someone with a normal nervous system. my point is that kim jong un is a lot more likely to be a macroatomic terrorist, if there is such a thing, than a kid with down syndrome, and that's just based on what we know about apparent responsibility and what we infer from a realistic evaluation of political influence.

positive positivity 

RiKD    United States. Apr 27 2017 18:23. Posts 4002

Has anyone ever looked into a teacher? I will be possibly looking for a sponsor with a lot of experience in Buddhist teachings or I need to separate it from an AA sponsor. Surely there will be a Shambhala center I can look into. It is hard to foresee me going with another Christian sponsor. He is great but a Christian god and prayer is just not a part of my life. The idea of suffering and the root of suffering and the idea of happiness and the root of happiness make a lot more sense. Ignorance as the cause of suffering. I always want to be in acceptance with the facts of life. It seems I am living in hope. Hope for great friends. Hope for a good job. Hope for my own apartment. My own life. Hope for dating to go well and be a positive experience. Hope for love. It seems to be what gets me out of bed in the morning. It very well may be what keeps me from drinking and doing drugs. I think these are all realistic hopes and dreams based in reality and the facts of life. They are all attachments, however, which can bring suffering. I suppose if I stay in accordance with the facts of life and the TRUTH of the matter suffering will always be minimized. If I lose a limb there will be suffering and grief associated with that. If I desire love and never find it or if my expectations are not based in reality there will be suffering, grief, anxieties, and resentments. It is just really nice to be able to write some of this stuff out. The guy I know who knows the most about Eastern spirituality is a great guy but he is also a little crazy and can be difficult to talk to. That is no real excuse I have had some great conversations with him but just writing it out is helping me a lot. I need to find more knowledgable teachers. I need to perhaps find some good audio books or lectures or discussions. I do not like the idea of begging for food and never having sex again. I don't mind the idea of just wearing a robe everyday. I am sick of fashion and the progression of stuff. I still wear stylish clothing and get a feeling that I need more. I still get a feeling that certain drugs might still work out great. I still get a feeling that I am going to receive all this amazing insightful responses from LP and that somehow posting this stuff will change my life. In a way it does though because I get to work through some stuff regardless of the response. I get to pass some time and hash out some stuff and whatever happens past that is golden.


Big_Rob_isback   United States. Apr 28 2017 08:06. Posts 166

Yo RiK I feel like the buddhism way can be lived in any setting. Sometimes people become a monk to run from their actual problems in the real world. Just let that settle in, being a monk can make you less of a practicing buddhist. Just play the hand your dealt, and follow what obstacles in your path are for the day. Best wishes, I feel ya on all your posts.

just playing live poker for fun 

failsafe   United States. Apr 29 2017 03:27. Posts 1007

hey man, sorry for spamming you about the mescaline. i was pretty excited when to finally be moving around a bit. i may not fit the description you have in mind.

it depends a lot on your personality type i think. like i said before i am a philosopher of causation and am really invested in this idea. my best theory regarding myself is that a lot of causation is non-local. for instance there are billions of people in the world, but we only know a very small fraction of them--and even so we only identify with some people sometimes.

like i spent a lot of time this last year talking to my dad and the shanghai grinders. since i only was talking to maybe 5~10 people with real regularity, it's difficult not to associate everything with those people.

but of course this can't be the case because the global narrative of the world involves billions of people and then lots of other stuff also. so it's a very complicated to me as i write about causation and language: this is a person, but is this person representing reality in a good way for your relationship?

they might not be, because the person is the person himself... so here we are in this web of events, and the mirror for perceiving the events is just these 5-10 people with their unique personalities and character-traits. it seems all of them identify with you to a good extent when you are depressed--which is sometimes how my sober state appears to me. it seems like more of the people identify with you when you are practicing meditation, and that you can gradually connect to them in a better way.

but then with the recent few days experimenting with low doses of mescaline and meditation the results have been OK. but on the other hand, there is a real risk for someone with a history of depression to use any kind of experience as a form of escapism. like sure i'd like to revert to a point in my life where i was in a good mood all the time and able to socialize. but have i ever been in that position?

surely it's possible to with caution gradually transform my life into a situation where i can be happy and also get along with people. i don't see why the only state of mind where everything is agreeable is a state where i'm depressed. this only seems to generate a sense of lonesomeness and just isn't very encouraging.

personally i think it's easy to get depressed about life because events conspire to isolate us. do events really do this? i don't think events in life intentionally conspire to depress or isolate us, but then again this seems to be what happens. there's no point living a long and unpleasant life because we just can't escape depression.

obvioiusly the mescaline is a sort of debatable approach. i don't want to experience personalities becoming gradually more hostile in some kind of red-zone shift. it's clear to me that if i lived in a place where it was easier to acquire stuff like the mescaline that it would be really tempting--for instance everytime these red zone shifts occur i get pretty tilted and just want to be blasted out of existence. but this seems to be the essence of sober depression too. usually i end up wondering why i can't just use mescaline or something like mescaline to blast myself out of existence rather than accruing a bizarre sleep-debt or something.

obviously when you become depressed enough you're constantly getting blasted out of existence by forces beyond your control. of course the ideal scenario is that you're not being blasted out of existence by any variety of things you disagree with. drugs do seem to offer and avenue for blasting yourself out of existence in a more selective way which people may or may not agree with.

meditation is probably the safer solution as it doesn't offer any non-scientific situations. most of what happens when you meditate "agrees with reality" to a pretty good extent. i guess the quest for life is to live in a sort of zone scientific happiness where we aren't worried about variance of any kind. i'm not really sure who/how to obtain this result but meditation, healthy nutrition, and exercise is probably the best way.

i remember you said you wanted to be a therapist. i started physical therapy recently for some neck trouble and it looks like a pretty good career from what i can see. obviously anything in the medical field is fraught with stressors, so i'd take it with a grain of salt if you don't have a good personality type for living in a high-stakes frustrating environment.

positive positivity 

RiKD    United States. Apr 29 2017 06:37. Posts 4002

After reading some books and listening to some audio stuff I have come to the conclusion that:

It would benefit me to meditate more. It would likely benefit me to experiment with utilizing a buddhist teacher.

It would also benefit me to do some inventory work on fears, resentments, and sexual conduct as well as doing more service work with alcoholics.

Palmetto bugs are taunting me. It is a practice in patience. They are not going anywhere. I am not going anywhere. I really don't wish to harm them but that is what is expected. I don't always do what is expected. To do so would be silly. I don't expect anything of the palmetto bugs but to be palmetto bugs. Therefore, I do not resent them. Long drive today. Went pretty smooth. Joyous to be where I am at. Life is a journey. Life is an adventure. Life is an experiment. Planet earth bitches. What a time to be alive.

To be continued...


RiKD    United States. Apr 29 2017 07:27. Posts 4002


  On April 29 2017 02:27 failsafe wrote:
hey man, sorry for spamming you about the mescaline. i was pretty excited when to finally be moving around a bit. i may not fit the description you have in mind.

it depends a lot on your personality type i think. like i said before i am a philosopher of causation and am really invested in this idea. my best theory regarding myself is that a lot of causation is non-local. for instance there are billions of people in the world, but we only know a very small fraction of them--and even so we only identify with some people sometimes.

like i spent a lot of time this last year talking to my dad and the shanghai grinders. since i only was talking to maybe 5~10 people with real regularity, it's difficult not to associate everything with those people.

but of course this can't be the case because the global narrative of the world involves billions of people and then lots of other stuff also. so it's a very complicated to me as i write about causation and language: this is a person, but is this person representing reality in a good way for your relationship?

they might not be, because the person is the person himself... so here we are in this web of events, and the mirror for perceiving the events is just these 5-10 people with their unique personalities and character-traits. it seems all of them identify with you to a good extent when you are depressed--which is sometimes how my sober state appears to me. it seems like more of the people identify with you when you are practicing meditation, and that you can gradually connect to them in a better way.

but then with the recent few days experimenting with low doses of mescaline and meditation the results have been OK. but on the other hand, there is a real risk for someone with a history of depression to use any kind of experience as a form of escapism. like sure i'd like to revert to a point in my life where i was in a good mood all the time and able to socialize. but have i ever been in that position?

surely it's possible to with caution gradually transform my life into a situation where i can be happy and also get along with people. i don't see why the only state of mind where everything is agreeable is a state where i'm depressed. this only seems to generate a sense of lonesomeness and just isn't very encouraging.

personally i think it's easy to get depressed about life because events conspire to isolate us. do events really do this? i don't think events in life intentionally conspire to depress or isolate us, but then again this seems to be what happens. there's no point living a long and unpleasant life because we just can't escape depression.

obvioiusly the mescaline is a sort of debatable approach. i don't want to experience personalities becoming gradually more hostile in some kind of red-zone shift. it's clear to me that if i lived in a place where it was easier to acquire stuff like the mescaline that it would be really tempting--for instance everytime these red zone shifts occur i get pretty tilted and just want to be blasted out of existence. but this seems to be the essence of sober depression too. usually i end up wondering why i can't just use mescaline or something like mescaline to blast myself out of existence rather than accruing a bizarre sleep-debt or something.

obviously when you become depressed enough you're constantly getting blasted out of existence by forces beyond your control. of course the ideal scenario is that you're not being blasted out of existence by any variety of things you disagree with. drugs do seem to offer and avenue for blasting yourself out of existence in a more selective way which people may or may not agree with.

meditation is probably the safer solution as it doesn't offer any non-scientific situations. most of what happens when you meditate "agrees with reality" to a pretty good extent. i guess the quest for life is to live in a sort of zone scientific happiness where we aren't worried about variance of any kind. i'm not really sure who/how to obtain this result but meditation, healthy nutrition, and exercise is probably the best way.

i remember you said you wanted to be a therapist. i started physical therapy recently for some neck trouble and it looks like a pretty good career from what i can see. obviously anything in the medical field is fraught with stressors, so i'd take it with a grain of salt if you don't have a good personality type for living in a high-stakes frustrating environment.



Re: Mescaline

I no longer do any drugs or drink any alcohol and I never did mescaline so I do not have much of an opinion on it. In my sobriety I did get obsessed with mushrooms as a way to help with depression and drug addiction. I never tried it how it was suggested but it seemed very promising. I think John Hopkins and a school in New York had done a lot of great work with it. Perhaps look into that.

Otherwise, I have dealt a lot with depression and isolation. I know you have your diagnosis. My diagnosis is alcoholic and bipolar. Either one knows of depression and isolation. For the psychiatric side: I take lithium and went through outpatient rehab as well as meetings with a psychiatrist and a therapist. One key one is managing my sleep. It feels great to sleep for 10, 12, 14, 16 hours a day but that is counter to feeling joy, wakefulness, and energy. The more depressed I get the more natural and better it feels to sleep for more hours. The more hours I sleep the more sleepy, and detached, and down, and slowed I feel. It is a vicious cycle. Instead of sleeping it is better to be around people, go for walks, meditate, exercise, and get active. I have found when I am down and depressed and isolated it is best to get out as best as I can. Calling someone and having some coffee may feel impossible but I just have to pray to the fates if I must. It has to happen. It was also good to try something new and stimulating. I was not depressed when I was partaking in improv or doing Brazilian jiu-jitsu. I was meeting people. Volunteer work is great. Helping people is magical. That is the solution for my alcoholism side of depression and isolation. Explore spirituality and help people. Experiment. Life is an experiment. If you are feeling pleasant, look to be of service. If you are feeling burdened, look to be of service. Be an eccentric, open-hearted warrior.


failsafe   United States. Apr 29 2017 13:29. Posts 1007

yeah i'm prettty tilted at the moment from the mescaline extraction. in the end i did some interesting shit with a t-shirt and my strainer because i couldn't get the fucking concept to play correctly in my head. obviously heat helps -- because if you could do the extraction in 0 degrees then you'd not have to do anything else would you?

so anyway i boiled off all the liquid which proved to not work. i feel like i pretty much invented marijuana...

i'm just going to vape the solution over and over because fuck it if the heat is the answer it can all go in the vape and that solves the problem

positive positivity 

failsafe   United States. Apr 29 2017 13:31. Posts 1007

yeah science seems pretty OP at the moment--do i need to eat this stuff or can i just vape it? i have no idea

it's pretty obvious that most of the answer is inside the cactus filings. you can't just eat marijuana obviously but eating the cactus hasn't proved to be useful.

positive positivity 

failsafe   United States. Apr 29 2017 13:32. Posts 1007

if i brought my volcano here maybe i could vape all the remaining plant material... would the mescaline vape with the rest of the plant material? this seems like an earthshattering victory for science

positive positivity 

RiKD    United States. Apr 29 2017 17:39. Posts 4002

Whatever dude. Mescaline may solve your problems for up to 6 months or it may cause problems. I don't know. Your basic good is already within you. The conditioned suffering and dissatisfaction you are carrying may or may not be helped by mescaline. I am not an expert in properly dosed psychedelics but make sure they are properly dosed and the trips are fruitful. If so, shine on you crazy diamond. What I would be looking for is to induce spiritual experiences, spiritual awakenings, and psychic change. I do not think these experiences can be forced but rather they come when ready. Let it be. Let it be. Erowid.com may help with these journeys. Wake up that third eye. Wake up consciousness. You may find you really dislike advertisements, the news, and NFL football. Welcome my brother! Where have you been? GOD may help. What is it? What does it do? There is a magic to dark matter we do not yet understand. Infiniti is beyond our comprehension. Why not open up your heart and help a brother out? Or have your heart opened by helping a brother out? I feel a connection and kinship to all things. I am amidst change and uncertainty. I am dreaming about murdering people and jizzing on their tvs and stealing people's cars and running people over. When I am wakeful I just want the best for people. I don't want anyone or anything to experience suffering or the root of suffering. So, carry on great adventurer, great warrior, great scientist! May the depression and isolation be quelled by love and kindness.


 



Copyright © 2017. LiquidPoker.net All Rights Reserved
Contact Advertise Sitemap