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NewbSaibot   United States. Feb 13 2017 04:37. Posts 4943
So if anyone has kept up with me you should know by now that I done goofed. I fucked up. I didnt treat poker like a business, let some big cashes get to my head and literally spent my bankroll to the point that I drove myself out of business. I guess I cant feel too bad, I'm not the first person to get reckless with their income and self-destruct. I've never felt too bad about it because at least I didnt lose it all playing poker. So where did that leave me? Pretty dire times to be honest. In fact if I come out of all of this I feel like I should write a book. I was about 2 months away from rock bottom, and by rock bottom I mean straight up homeless, no car, no more couches to crash on, looking to take the bullet train out of town kinda thing. In fact I actually had more suicidal thoughts than I had ever had in my life. Not that I've ever been particularly suicidal, but I kept a steady eye on my firearms to make sure I wasnt fantasizing about it too much before I'd have to pawn them off to make sure I didnt do anything stupid.

Tomorrow I start my first day at my new job. It pays 50% less than my last job but by my estimates it should be enough to keep a roof over my head. My quality of life as it stands today is still leaps and bounds ahead of many others so I have no right to complain. I have a borrowed car, food in the fridge, running water, soft bed, clean sheets, and warm air when it's cool and cool air when it's warm. My checking account balance is currently $277, so you can see how bad things were getting. Actually I also have 1k on Ignition which I'll discuss in a minute.

Thing is I'm actually feeling pretty good about everything. For starters this new job looks to be painfully easy and about 5 steps back in my career title as I was before. Basically I'm doing now what I did when I first started working. Just general helpdesk tier 1 stuff. "Help my mouse isnt working!" and so I plug it back in. Thing is with each new job I got paying a bit more my responsibilities increased, and with that came a new level of stress. I was working jobs where I had to come in on weekends, had to be on call 24/7, had to be interrupted in dinner out on town, had to come in early and stay late. The jump in title and pay didnt do anything for my quality of life. Quite simply I was not happy. This might have had to do with being stuck in a broken relationship for so long too, but I still hated all of those jobs. My favorite job was my helpdesk job, so I've come full circle and am back right where I started.

Now that I am debt free I am hoping to begin saving up for a new poker bankroll, which brings us to Ignition. So right before I went busto I threw my last $800 of disposable income online just to see if I could do something, anything with it at all. I mean for fuck's sake I've played this game long enough, can I even beat the micros yet? Can 2/5 live be easier than NL10 online? Where am I? So I dilly dally'd around from NL5 to NL25 before I just suddenly up and transitioned into PLO exclusively. I still remember the moment, I was staring at the micro NLHE lobby and kind of disappointed at what I saw. Lot of 10-20BB avg pot sizes, maybe 20% of players seeing flops, and overall a lack of action in general. I know IG hides tables that are full but I just kinda got the impression there's not a whole lot going on at micros on IG. I've always been fascinated by PLO and the kind of action it brings, so I switched over to the PLO lobby. Holy crap, avg pots of 50BB, avg players/flop 40%+, and plenty of open tables at all limits. If my goal is to climb the ladder and make it to high stakes I want there to be good games going on. It's hard to find good 5/10 and 10/20 NLHE games, but at PLO they always run.

I dont consider myself an action junkie, but I do like to play loose and aggressive. My lifetime stats in NLHE have always been around 30/24/3 with probably 10% 3bet. I'm the guy with the always positive red line. At that moment PLO just seemed kind of a natural fit for me. I get to play loose, but not so loose like I do in NLHE where it can cause me problems. Playing a 30/24 style in PLO is probably golden. Most of the fish there are playing a 60/5/.9 game with 0 3bet. So I'm actually playing tight compared to them, but it feels loose as fuck to me which is right where I like it. Now I have no experience with PLO at all other than knowing the rules. I have Joey for inspiration and I think maybe 2 videos from Deuces Cracked about 5 years ago from Vanessa whereby all I remember her saying is "PLO is a drawing game". So rather than doing the smart thing and studying a bunch of material I kinda decided I'd just teach myself PLO. I think I've always had a hard time following the advice of others and seem to be one of those stubborn guys who can only learn the stove is hot when he burns his hand. My $800 roll dropped to $250 pretty quickly playing PLO50. I took a step back, seriously analyzed a lot of HH's, pitched some scenarios to some generous folks online for their advice and went back to it. I dropped limits of course and over the next 4 weeks managed to grind my $250 back to $1050. Now we're talking less than 10k hands here so probably fish on a heater, but it sure feels like I'm doing things right.

So what now? Well my goal is to keep grinding away online and let whatever happens happen. My goal either through live shot taking or online shot taking is to grind a new bankroll up to 30k and then become a pro again, and this time do things right. No more sports cars, no more paying for pussy (expensive dates), no more impulse buys on toys (virtual reality, multiple cellphones, tablets, gadgets, clothes, etc) and to just be a responsible adult with my poker job. I dont ever want to get in debt again. I dont ever want to have a car payment again. No more credit cards, nothing. I want to live entirely out of cash. I think this will be good for perspective, to make sure I always know exactly what my spending ability is, and of course it just makes financial sense to never pay interest on anything. If I become an online pro then awesome, I have my pick of almost anywhere in the world to live. If the higher limits of PLO prove to be too difficult, or I just start playing in the absolutely-balls-out-nuts live PLO games around here (40k stacks at 5/10 anyone?) then I'll obviously have to live where the games are good. At the moment I would prefer online, because I mean who wouldnt. But I still enjoy shootin the shit with live players and trying to get waitresses phone numbers. I did actually make several friends from the tables, something I could not have done if I lived like a hermit at home grinding away online.

Anyway time to iron my shirt and pack my lunch for the big day! lol.... just lol..

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bye now 

Fayth    Canada. Feb 13 2017 05:01. Posts 10085

well best of luck, I'll never understand why people lack discipline so much with their money

Im not sure what to do tomorrow when I see her, should I shake her hand?? -Floofy 

Trav94   Canada. Feb 13 2017 07:50. Posts 1785

Good luck man. Enjoyed the blogs. Looking forward to seeing more.


thewh00sel    United States. Feb 13 2017 19:21. Posts 2734

If you do everything that you said I like your chances, and no offense, but this has the look and feel of a well-written neilly post. Will definitely follow along though, and keep us updated if it helps you feel accountable for your plan. GLGL

A government is the most dangerous threat to man’s rights: it holds a legal monopoly on the use of physical force against legally disarmed victims. - Ayn Rand 

Spitfiree   Bulgaria. Feb 13 2017 23:20. Posts 9634

I honestly don't understand how you keep going back to poker after such events. How are you not going for some kind of stable income, find a job that actually fulfills you. I'm gonna sound like an asshole here, but it's quite easy to think all of the things you've written right at this moment, simply because you came close to being completely broke. Once you get those 30k$, then its the time you will get those thoughts on " what if i spend 1k on this and 2k on that ... it wont hurt me that much ". Thats the time your decisions matter. You have no other choice, but to think the way you think right now.... well you can fall into self-pity, but you're obviously smart enough not to do so.

Which brings me back to the question. Why don't you just find something you are good at and want to do. It can't only be poker.


traxamillion   United States. Feb 14 2017 07:03. Posts 10468

let me know if you can beat micro plo rake over a significant sample. Afaik you need to play 2/4 to have much winrate which gives me anxiety (weird cause live wont bother me playing higher) and so im just playing husngs


traxamillion   United States. Feb 14 2017 09:35. Posts 10468

most likely killing it live until you have the money to be unbothered by swings at 1/2-2/4 in online PLO would be my advice. I have a large database of PLO hands on video (Hopefully still ill have to look) that will teach you a ton about the game. I had to download them from some Swedish mirror. A guy who plays mid/high stakes was doing a bankroll challenge to make 100bi and x amount of cash (5-10K) starting from nothing, hundreds of hours of video but most of what i have has him going from 25plo to 100-200 plo. Its good stuff I will look into shipping it to you if you are interested and I can find it again. Plugged a lot of my 6max leaks (I was much better hu at the time - playing too loose by far in the earlier positions in ring games)


JohnnyBologna   United States. Feb 14 2017 19:51. Posts 1401

Poker is a relentless monster thats always testing your resolve as a man. Sometimes it will make you feel like a million bucks other times... like a pack of dimes.

The best motivation always comes in times when adversity is greatest though. Good luck and hopefully you are able to overcome the grind and find success.

Get rich or become irrelevant.

Just do whats right 

hiems   United States. Feb 15 2017 02:45. Posts 2979

Did you manage to get rid of the credit card debt? Good luck dude.

I beat Loco!!! [img]https://i.imgur.com/wkwWj2d.png[/img]Last edit: 15/02/2017 02:58

NewbSaibot   United States. Feb 15 2017 04:16. Posts 4943


  On February 13 2017 22:20 Spitfiree wrote:
I honestly don't understand how you keep going back to poker after such events. How are you not going for some kind of stable income, find a job that actually fulfills you. I'm gonna sound like an asshole here, but it's quite easy to think all of the things you've written right at this moment, simply because you came close to being completely broke. Once you get those 30k$, then its the time you will get those thoughts on " what if i spend 1k on this and 2k on that ... it wont hurt me that much ". Thats the time your decisions matter. You have no other choice, but to think the way you think right now.... well you can fall into self-pity, but you're obviously smart enough not to do so.

Which brings me back to the question. Why don't you just find something you are good at and want to do. It can't only be poker.



I guess I just dont like feeling obligated to work for somebody else. That sense of dependency makes me insecure. Today is a fine example. I woke up at 2am last night with the sudden urge to vomit. Literally, I had to throw the covers off, blind myself with the bathroom light, and proceeded to puke my brains out in the toilet. This has never happened to me in my life and I think it was stress induced somehow even though I like my new job. Point is I got like no sleep afterwards, and then couldnt eat breakfast because my stomach was still in knots. As a poker player I could just take as much time as I need to get better. As an employee I had to drag my ass to work starved, stomach in pain, and sleepy as shit. I hate this so much.

You mention how I keep going back to poker, thing is I kinda feel like this is my first real shot. I've been looking through my blogs to see any hint of serious poker play to make sure I'm not falling into the Neilly trap and I dont see any. At no point have I ever felt I was a professional or even a winning player. I splash around but always had a job for my primary source of income with no plan for poker in sight. This time was different. I saved up money, moved out of state, and lived entirely off of poker earnings for almost a year. And for the first time I didnt go busto. I went broke, but not busto. I think that has a lot to do with it too. If I had moved to Florida with 10k in the bank and proceeded to lose 6k at the tables and the other 4k on bills then I'd probably hang it up. I'd admit I am a loser at the game. But that never happened. I won, and I did well. The sample is still somewhat small so I could have just been on a heater the whole time having only made 35k at 2/5, but overall I feel like I did ok.

I've set myself pretty far back in my poker ambitions here, to the point I may never be able to grind a roll again. I have a job that might net me $200 profit at the end of the month plus my 1k roll online that I'm using to take 10 BI shots at PLO. This is just a disaster waiting to happen, and it'll take me years to climb back up the corporate ladder to where I used to be, and thats assuming I even want to climb. I'm really enjoying having an easier job for once. So you know, we'll see where I really end up. It'll just be really cute if this time next year I'm writing a blog on $250 to $30k bankroll challenge

bye now 

JohnnyBologna   United States. Feb 15 2017 16:07. Posts 1401

Online poker is dead. Why not stick to 2/5 live if thats where you've been winning? Im in a similar situation as you were last year...
Im moving from swfl to Los angeles/commerce in april.
Ive got to make 4-5k a month just to pay the bills and survive and felt like ive been a fuckboy the last 5 years and its been ctaching up on me.

Just do whats right 

Highcard   Canada. Feb 15 2017 21:02. Posts 5428

good luck

I have learned from poker that being at the table is not a grind, the grind is living and poker is how I pass the time 

NewbSaibot   United States. Feb 16 2017 01:43. Posts 4943


  On February 15 2017 15:07 JohnnyBologna wrote:
Online poker is dead. Why not stick to 2/5 live if thats where you've been winning? Im in a similar situation as you were last year...
Im moving from swfl to Los angeles/commerce in april.
Ive got to make 4-5k a month just to pay the bills and survive and felt like ive been a fuckboy the last 5 years and its been ctaching up on me.

Well the biggest reason I'm back online again is just to play at limits I can afford. I could conceivably go back to 1/2 live once I have a a couple of grand saved up. Then I saw the PLO action on Ignition and felt that I could make a living if I got good at it without all the hassle of playing live. In a perfect world I think anybody would rather play online than live. If it turns out the games are too dry at midstakes on Ignition then I'll certainly go back to 2/5 live because I know thats beatable and you can make a decent living at it.

Why do you need 5k/month to pay the bills? That was roughly my budget, ($4300 to be exact I think) and it was totally unnecessary. Jeez if I could go back to earning 4k/month on my current budget all of my problems would be solved.

bye now 

whamm!   Albania. Feb 16 2017 03:46. Posts 11625

just play both live and online


JohnnyBologna   United States. Feb 16 2017 04:43. Posts 1401

Rent, car, and mostly going out to eat everyday heh...

Just do whats right 

NewbSaibot   United States. Feb 16 2017 05:30. Posts 4943

you could cut back so easily. 1 year of car payments on my last car would have easily bought me a quality used luxury car that I'd flat out own right now with no payment at all. I think you can let rent slide since your place of residence is of some importance, as long as you arent spending 2k on a 1 bedroom apartment.

bye now 

 



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