Tricks to deal with losing?

Took some shots and down like 7k for last month. Its not a crazy big deal but still u guys know the feeling.

Ill just rationalize my losses as much as possible and look at all the positives in life but that only goes so far.
Ill go watch movies or take a break for a week.

Is there a way to not feel sad after losing or just finding better ways to cope with?

Work out. Hobbies.

sometimes we just forget about variance and how it works... just remind yourself that impact of variance is huge in this game but also be grateful that you are doing what you love (i hope so) and on opportunity that is in front of you...

just accept things and be in peace as they are... work harder and that's it

ofc it's much easier said than done, but if you succeed in doing it... tell me how

i think you gotta try to not care before you even start; see it all as expendable. Same goes for the wins though you don't really get stoked it is just whatever (unless u bink a big tourney score or win some unusual amount elsewhere)

reason it hurts so much is obviously you took a shot that you feel is going to set you back significantly; but put in the time and it comes back

Try streaming videos like this one..


GL

breaking stuff does wonders. sometimes driving around town screaming at the top of your lungs "SOMEONE KILL MEEEE!" helps too.

learn nunchucks and practice vs watermelons = cheaper and fun

Just remember, you being able to lose is what makes the game profitable. If you could never lose (assuming you were the best), nobody would ever play you for any reasonable amount of money. However, you CAN lose because of the variance, and so it is possible to find people that are worse than you willing to put up what would be considered a very large amount of money in other circumstances.

The same reason that makes poker so annoying to some is what makes it profitable at all. Embrace the variance ^_^

Be as happy and relaxed as you can be before you start playing. Then you wont care about the losing. Its crazy, being content helps you be able to pit everything in perspective. I cant do it, but it seems like some of the best poker players are able to.

The trick is to not lose

On November 07 2016 12:25 Spitfiree wrote: The trick is to not lose

I wish i know how to do that in every hand...

Excersize

Best advice i think is to not care in the first place. The way I found to do that is that you gotta be mega rolled for the game. How do you think those whales are so comfortable all the time haha.

If i lose like less than 1k in 1-2 im fine and dont care for it because i got like so many buy ins. But man when i take a shot at 2/5/10 plo live and lose then lose at my regular games for a lot afterwards it literally makes you sick in your gut. But i guess thats why i never move up and take that much shots. Because i get depressed for a month afterwards. I always lose when i take shots. Maybe im just meant to grind 2/5 forever. If i do take shots in the future its only gona be for like 1 or 2 buy ins man.

The worst part is when you start questioning your game and screwing yourself up and not confident as you use to be.

do what i do. curl up into a ball and sleep until your next session.

big br relative to stakes
work ethic
exercise/keeping up on non poker life stuff

sigh, just went -8 buy ins in 3 hours at 1/2 wtf. brb while i slit wrists. is ACR fcking impossible for anyone else on here or is just me?

just dont take shots if its gonna make you depressed for a month

I usually take a break for a week or two, no poker at all. And it helps

On December 02 2016 11:17 zimin40 wrote: I usually take a break for a week or two, no poker at all. And it helps

not a good idea if your earning your living from it (

Any players taking a break from a downswing because of moving up stakes (or even worse... stakes you are "comfortable in" ) is imo somewhat unacceptable. It means the money does get to you thus potentially is influencing decisions. Even if its just passing up SUPER marginal spots that you arent really making a ton of money in but are a little more weak tight than usual. So most likely it means its too much money to begin with relative to BR or living situation.

Lets say you take a shot at 10/20 at a decent to good game. And you normally win at 9bbs per hour at 5 10. And you decide to play in a 10/20 game you can possibly make 14bbs in because lineup is soft. Well thats 280 an hour. For say the game runs for 5 hours. 280x 5 at that level of softness. So your EV in the situation is 1400. IE equal to 15 or so hours of 5 10. IF you go on a 10k downswing and need to take a break for a few days you would have otherwise played poker. That is really bad. BTW this result of 10k loss is gonna happen atleast 10-20% of the time probably in whale games because they play bigger. Unless you have a stoploss but lets say you didn't for sake of arguement. And then take 5 days off playing because you're annoyed or gonna play bad because of it. Well then you lost out in more money than you would have been gaining in this scenario. Since you would have played say 3 of those days for 7 hours. Now say you just lose a normal amount maybe 4k and then left game and u just went on a normal maybe 8k downer at 5 10 over the next week you played. And then THAT triggers the dreaded break costing you 5 days. Well then you weren't in a postion to take that shot imo. So lets also add in the time we win 10k. In reality very little changes for us. Unless we are magically suddenly well rolled for 10 20 we arent going to be playing in that game much unless its rly good. IE solidsituation for us but nothing substantial. IMO Any result that jeapordizes a "poker depression break" means you are NOT able to take a shot at that time. And it would be somewhat irresponsible imo. Its fun to play higher but any time you are risking a poker depression you are potentially losing out money off your yearly income to gamble it up in the short term. Its fun to play higher stakes but you should be able to lose on that shot. Then STILL go on a sick downer at your "comfortable stake" and not be phased into a poker depression. Or else your bankroll is too small or you are playing too high imo.

I will concede that there can actually be some games that are potentially huge upside and downside is minimal. IE there is an epic saudi prince dumping money and bought in for 100k in a 10/20 game. And youre gonna have a 6k stoploss. But generally your EV will be only inflated a marginal amount in that "sweet" bigger game and it will only be the case for a few hours. I'm kind of cool with taking shots aggressively. But the stoplosses should probably be somewhat aggressive as well. Even as low as 1.5 buyins or something (maybe some topping up and thats it). And not attempted again until you've regained that traction at the lower stakes imo. I think its the easiest way to progress effectively and not risk the psyche unnecessarily. I might be in the minority on this but typically thats what ive done. I've also somewhat skipped taking shots all together and just overroll myself for the next stake and just play it unless i lose a certain amount of money designated for this "prolonged shot" and then move back down if that happened.

Just want to say thanks DooMeR, excellently explained

I`ve always found that gutwrenching feeling after a bad session will come and grab hold of your entire being unless you have something or someone that absolutely trumps everything poker based in your life. I am talking either a love interest, someone close to you who needs your help about something or maybe my favourite team playing a derby game Working out helps too, but I find in my case it only lasts until I`m done, and if there isn`t anything to distract me from the loosing sesh once I leave the gym - I`m back where I started. That being said, I`ve dug myselfs in holes so deep I didn`t wanna look at poker for weeks. I truly believe the catch is to have something concrete in your life, based outside of poker that is a constant and supercedes anything variance can do to us.

On November 27 2016 21:01 JohnnyBologna wrote: sigh, just went -8 buy ins in 3 hours at 1/2 wtf. brb while i slit wrists. is ACR fcking impossible for anyone else on here or is just me?

bro you sound like a nit

Friends usually help with downswings too. I dont like talking to family members about poker because they cannot relate. I hate the feeling of telling someone i just lost 2k today when they barely made 200 today its just disgusting. I guess this community has helped me out a lot with that.
Sometimes I just wish i had a regular job that pays 5-7k a month to not deal with all this mess. But who will hire someone who has never had a job/degree in their life and is almost 30?
Then again I think about it, do i want to be working somewhere for min wage? Hell the F no. So I guess im stuck somehwere in the middle now.
I guess i will endure the monotony and practice my work ethic so i can grind more in this game. I will have to watch more Jerry Springer after a losing sesh to laugh my pain away. I will stay focused on the goal and the only thing that matters right now, getting money while slowly improving my game bit by bit in this competitive field.

Thanks guys, just needed to vent somewhere and complain after getting sent to the poker hospital after getting beat up so bad this month.

good luck man.

hope you get back on your feet soon

Go to the gym and leave poker to be for a while. That works the best for me!

On December 10 2016 15:45 JohnnyBologna wrote: Sometimes I just wish i had a regular job that pays 5-7k a month to not deal with all this mess. But who will hire someone who has never had a job/degree in their life and is almost 30? Then again I think about it, do i want to be working somewhere for min wage?

On December 08 2016 10:36 PaulHolmes wrote: I`ve always found that gutwrenching feeling after a bad session will come and grab hold of your entire being unless you have something or someone that absolutely trumps everything poker based in your life. I am talking either a love interest, someone close to you who needs your help about something or maybe my favourite team playing a derby game Working out helps too, but I find in my case it only lasts until I`m done, and if there isn`t anything to distract me from the loosing sesh once I leave the gym - I`m back where I started. That being said, I`ve dug myselfs in holes so deep I didn`t wanna look at poker for weeks. I truly believe the catch is to have something concrete in your life, based outside of poker that is a constant and supercedes anything variance can do to us.

you need drugs in your life.

On January 30 2017 01:36 lucky331 wrote: you need drugs in your life.

..good for fun.. bad for your hand..

I find exercise helps immensely. Healthy body healthy mind kinda idea.

nothing like working up a good sweat after a bad session.

On December 10 2016 15:45 JohnnyBologna wrote: Sometimes I just wish i had a regular job that pays 5-7k a month to not deal with all this mess. But who will hire someone who has never had a job/degree in their life and is almost 30? Then again I think about it, do i want to be working somewhere for min wage?

Need a reality check if you think 5-7k a month is minimum wage

On December 04 2016 12:40 DooMeR wrote: Any players taking a break from a downswing because of moving up stakes (or even worse... stakes you are "comfortable in" ) is imo somewhat unacceptable. It means the money does get to you thus potentially is influencing decisions. Even if its just passing up SUPER marginal spots that you arent really making a ton of money in but are a little more weak tight than usual. So most likely it means its too much money to begin with relative to BR or living situation. Lets say you take a shot at 10/20 at a decent to good game. And you normally win at 9bbs per hour at 5 10. And you decide to play in a 10/20 game you can possibly make 14bbs in because lineup is soft. Well thats 280 an hour. For say the game runs for 5 hours. 280x 5 at that level of softness. So your EV in the situation is 1400. IE equal to 15 or so hours of 5 10. IF you go on a 10k downswing and need to take a break for a few days you would have otherwise played poker. That is really bad. BTW this result of 10k loss is gonna happen atleast 10-20% of the time probably in whale games because they play bigger. Unless you have a stoploss but lets say you didn't for sake of arguement. And then take 5 days off playing because you're annoyed or gonna play bad because of it. Well then you lost out in more money than you would have been gaining in this scenario. Since you would have played say 3 of those days for 7 hours. Now say you just lose a normal amount maybe 4k and then left game and u just went on a normal maybe 8k downer at 5 10 over the next week you played. And then THAT triggers the dreaded break costing you 5 days. Well then you weren't in a postion to take that shot imo. So lets also add in the time we win 10k. In reality very little changes for us. Unless we are magically suddenly well rolled for 10 20 we arent going to be playing in that game much unless its rly good. IE solidsituation for us but nothing substantial. IMO Any result that jeapordizes a "poker depression break" means you are NOT able to take a shot at that time. And it would be somewhat irresponsible imo. Its fun to play higher but any time you are risking a poker depression you are potentially losing out money off your yearly income to gamble it up in the short term. Its fun to play higher stakes but you should be able to lose on that shot. Then STILL go on a sick downer at your "comfortable stake" and not be phased into a poker depression. Or else your bankroll is too small or you are playing too high imo. I will concede that there can actually be some games that are potentially huge upside and downside is minimal. IE there is an epic saudi prince dumping money and bought in for 100k in a 10/20 game. And youre gonna have a 6k stoploss. But generally your EV will be only inflated a marginal amount in that "sweet" bigger game and it will only be the case for a few hours. I'm kind of cool with taking shots aggressively. But the stoplosses should probably be somewhat aggressive as well. Even as low as 1.5 buyins or something (maybe some topping up and thats it). And not attempted again until you've regained that traction at the lower stakes imo. I think its the easiest way to progress effectively and not risk the psyche unnecessarily. I might be in the minority on this but typically thats what ive done. I've also somewhat skipped taking shots all together and just overroll myself for the next stake and just play it unless i lose a certain amount of money designated for this "prolonged shot" and then move back down if that happened.

Very well said. Deserves a repost.

On February 01 2017 00:32 4TM wrote: Show nested quote + On December 10 2016 15:45 JohnnyBologna wrote: Sometimes I just wish i had a regular job that pays 5-7k a month to not deal with all this mess. But who will hire someone who has never had a job/degree in their life and is almost 30? Then again I think about it, do i want to be working somewhere for min wage? Need a reality check if you think 5-7k a month is minimum wage

+1

most minimum wage jobs are 1000x worse than whatever poker can throw at you...try it out lol. You are also working for peanuts in comparison.

Sometimes i throw in multiple thoughts into one subject and people always get confused when i talk aha.

Sometimes i want to work another job other than poker that pays 5-7k a month to not deal with stress of losing, but could probably only get a minimum wage job right now.

I said to myself if i ever went busto i would probably be a poker dealer though. They make way more than min wage and is the only thing relevant to my experiences lol.

I've used poker on my resume more than once and I'm fairly certain it helped. As long as you can justify it as fast critical thinking it's a good thing imo. You're effectively weighing the risks of a bunch of decisions and making the most profitable decision in a very short time span, and your living literally depended on it. That's a valuable skill that can be applied to a lot of different jobs.