Thoughts on a number of things

Not a woman in disguise. I just do not disguise my feminine qualities. My anima to get all Jungian. I believe repressing the anima is not healthy even though where I grew up repressing many things was the norm and expected. I like haircuts and shoes. Yes, yes I do. I like art. I like yoga. I like women in yoga pants, I like women not in yoga pants, pant-less women is something that I like. The last 3 makes everything cool? What is cool? Prince is cool. Elton John is cool. I do not really know anyone in the transgender community. Caitlyn Jenner, I am unsure if she is cool. Pretty fucking cool that a super jock was like YUP , now this is happening. So, yeah, that is pretty cool assuming that is what she wanted to do and did not lose her mind or want more fame or something.

I don't foresee any sex changes in my future. Cross dressing perhaps possible. I am wearing a kilt in a wedding. A skirt that is considered manly in Ireland and Scotland. I would consider wearing a kilt anytime I wanted to rock my Scottish tribe's colors. Way cooler than wearing like favorite football team bullshit. Or is it? I have no choice in Scottish heritage but I do in who I like to watch play football?

Man, it is getting cold outside. I want to dress like the wildlings. Go up North. Kill a bear. Make some furs. Oh no! The vegans might come and get me. lol. Factory harvested furs is pretty gross though. Man, I don't know. It's time to go.

fuckin millenials man

I hear ya man.

This brain and this society that has created me,
like a worker bee,
foraging for honey,

Conflicted by hair cuts and shoes and enlightenment. Why don't I have a good job? Follow my bliss? What if it brings me back to writing posts on liquid poker. I can't feed my 100 trillion bacteria friends doing that. That is a lot of mouthes to feed. If I want a special lady friend that is another staggering 100 trillion bacteria mouthes to feed.

One day I may write a book:

How to Make Rent and Not Want to Kill Myself.

Don't steal that, I might use it one day. I have some experience on that but should probably have experience in the present to write it.

I am not an author of my own experience FUCK
am i an author of this? FUCK
what does it all mean? FUCK
FUCK

FUCK

Do ants get excited if they find a really juicy piece of watermelon at a picnic?

in-before Rhaegar all over again

I don't remember the whole Rhaeger thing. I have had mental breakdowns in the past. I have been in the psych ward twice. I have diagnosed mental illnesses that I take medications for, receive treatment and therapies for. That was just some millennial expression coming from a millennial. I am pretty stable at the moment. Stable trending towards depression from my estimations. If I am getting real manic crazy I usually take that stuff outside. It is more fun to be manic and crazy out and about among people and stimulus.

While I can see how above does come off a bit psychotic my psychotic writing is waaaayyyy more than that. A lot of misspellings and missed words, inappropriate capitalizations on purpose, extremely grandiose save the world assassinate people not tongue in cheek type stuff. In the moment of psychosis, many times I think my writing is going to have a crucial impact on global revolution.

Above I had just read a convincing book about the illusion of free will ("Free Will" - Sam Harris) and felt compelled to write some stuff. I did not know that is how it was going to turn out. It just happened. Just as I am writing now. It is happening. I do not know what I am going to write next but here it comes. It is a mind fuck considering I just assumed we all had free will my whole life. I am going around today asking myself, "What made me wake up at that time?" "Why did I go back to bed?" "Why do I always come back to liquid poker to write and discuss stuff?" "What does it mean?" "What does it all mean?"

Just a quick note, the last highly "spiritually motivated" person asked me if I liked the way I presented my hair, because it is a good thing to be happy with the way you look. It doesn't have to be complicated, just don't overdo it or over think it I guess?

Also Idk if you realize it but some comments from people on this post are people being total fucking assholes. But, you really should expect a poker site to be one of the last places for an audience to post this kind of stuff.

Keep it real, wish you the best man.

On October 11 2016 19:53 Big_Rob_isback wrote: Also Idk if you realize it but some comments from people on this post are people being total fucking assholes.

i was just giving him shit, rikd is the man. i doubt anyone took offense to any comments in this blog besides you.

On October 10 2016 20:36 RiKD wrote: While I can see how above does come off a bit psychotic my psychotic writing is waaaayyyy more than that. A lot of misspellings and missed words, inappropriate capitalizations on purpose, extremely grandiose save the world assassinate people not tongue in cheek type stuff. In the moment of psychosis, many times I think my writing is going to have a crucial impact on global revolution.

so basically like Neilly?

i remember one time i figured out that Neilly is actually Daut, but i may have to go back and see if i missed a third personality.

Hmmm...

Interesting blog, thanks for sharing.

Hey rik!! With you on the shoes part! Quite a few different routes you can take! What are you leaning towards?

On October 11 2016 23:06 bigredhoss wrote: Show nested quote + On October 10 2016 20:36 RiKD wrote: While I can see how above does come off a bit psychotic my psychotic writing is waaaayyyy more than that. A lot of misspellings and missed words, inappropriate capitalizations on purpose, extremely grandiose save the world assassinate people not tongue in cheek type stuff. In the moment of psychosis, many times I think my writing is going to have a crucial impact on global revolution. so basically like Neilly? i remember one time i figured out that Neilly is actually Daut, but i may have to go back and see if i missed a third personality.

lol wat, Daut? where did that come from?


And yes Rik your writing is very manic, you write like the guy who took MDMA for the first time and is grinding his teeth like crazy.

"what it means" about free will is actually just a matter of perspective, its isnt even a very interesting topic nor should have an impact on your life

On October 12 2016 08:22 Baalim wrote: Show nested quote + On October 11 2016 23:06 bigredhoss wrote:   On October 10 2016 20:36 RiKD wrote: While I can see how above does come off a bit psychotic my psychotic writing is waaaayyyy more than that. A lot of misspellings and missed words, inappropriate capitalizations on purpose, extremely grandiose save the world assassinate people not tongue in cheek type stuff. In the moment of psychosis, many times I think my writing is going to have a crucial impact on global revolution. so basically like Neilly? i remember one time i figured out that Neilly is actually Daut, but i may have to go back and see if i missed a third personality. lol wat, Daut? when did that come from?

+ Show Spoiler +

RiKD's blog entries are always interesting to read wtf don't discourage him Big_Rob

On October 12 2016 08:37 bigredhoss wrote: Show nested quote + On October 12 2016 08:22 Baalim wrote:   On October 11 2016 23:06 bigredhoss wrote:   On October 10 2016 20:36 RiKD wrote: While I can see how above does come off a bit psychotic my psychotic writing is waaaayyyy more than that. A lot of misspellings and missed words, inappropriate capitalizations on purpose, extremely grandiose save the world assassinate people not tongue in cheek type stuff. In the moment of psychosis, many times I think my writing is going to have a crucial impact on global revolution. so basically like Neilly? i remember one time i figured out that Neilly is actually Daut, but i may have to go back and see if i missed a third personality. lol wat, Daut? when did that come from? + Show Spoiler + https://www.liquidpoker.net/poker-forum/1071718/my_findings_released.html

good to remember this thread, I'm still amazed by the first response, has to be a counter troll?

one of the happiest moments in my life (no joke) was finding a dominican barber in Madrid

i take haircuts serious

also oddly, all the skateboarders i grew up with maintained that shoe choice was the #1 way to judge a persons character.

nice blog post, i remember reading an article about the first features humans recognize in other humans (something like gender, skin tone, hair type, size in that order) and it made me wonder if certain fashion aspects stand out first to our subconscious too.

no real substance but tangentially related to your post.

On October 15 2016 11:36 lebowski wrote: Show nested quote + On October 12 2016 08:37 bigredhoss wrote:   On October 12 2016 08:22 Baalim wrote:   On October 11 2016 23:06 bigredhoss wrote:   On October 10 2016 20:36 RiKD wrote: While I can see how above does come off a bit psychotic my psychotic writing is waaaayyyy more than that. A lot of misspellings and missed words, inappropriate capitalizations on purpose, extremely grandiose save the world assassinate people not tongue in cheek type stuff. In the moment of psychosis, many times I think my writing is going to have a crucial impact on global revolution. so basically like Neilly? i remember one time i figured out that Neilly is actually Daut, but i may have to go back and see if i missed a third personality. lol wat, Daut? when did that come from? + Show Spoiler + https://www.liquidpoker.net/poker-forum/1071718/my_findings_released.html good to remember this thread, I'm still amazed by the first response, has to be a counter troll?

it might be the only thing i've ever done on the internet that i'm proud of. yea i think it must've been a counter-troll.

On October 16 2016 05:03 nolan wrote: one of the happiest moments in my life (no joke) was finding a dominican barber in Madrid i take haircuts serious also oddly, all the skateboarders i grew up with maintained that shoe choice was the #1 way to judge a persons character. i remember reading an article about the first features humans recognize in other humans (something like gender, skin tone, hair type, size in that order) and it made me wonder if certain fashion aspects stand out first to our subconscious too.

I would argue seeing someone's character in action is a better judge or hearing some stories from someone who is honest and reliable. If all I get is a look I would tend to agree with the skateboarders you grew up with. That is where the mind fuck is. It is sad to think that our clothes define us but the truth is they do. On first impression clothes is probably the number one thing that defines us. That and a mixture of posture and facial expression. I think where it gets sad is making decisions like "do these jeans define me?" Or, in thinking that we need help in the form of the fashion industry. There lies another mind fuck. A safe way to be cool and trendy is to follow but that is always a chase. That leaves one "cool" for 2 seasons. There is always more to it than the superficial though. I always find more depth and character behind the people who are just wearing what they are wearing. Cool is authenticity.

On fashion aspects that stand out to our subconscious: The first thing I think of is the cocktail dress and stilettos. That is catching my eye. It hits my subconscious "Sexy." I think most women have this in their repertoire. What I mean is someone could say well that signals bimbo, airhead, no substance but I disagree. Most women have this in their repertoire. Smart and dumb alike. All ranges of character and depth. But, being in a hoody and jeans and some sneakers and being funny or carrying on a conversation and being kind, and compassionate and smart is way more desirable than just x woman in shape in a cocktail dress. The cocktail dress still does something to me.

Well I enjoyed that post. A bit crazy beats too normal.

Hey my apologies for wgat I said, I didnt gave a read on the situation. I have a friend who is in a tough spot and when he talks all existentially people make fun of him to his face but he doesn't know they are.

I am a bit sensitive about that stuff. I wish RikD the best and am glad you guys are cool with him. My apologies again, peace.

it's all good man <3