Feelings and Thoughts

im thinking about you rikd

and i am realizing im only not thinking like you (because i used to) is because i have a shitload of stuff going on in my mind (work, esport, girlfriend) and gets me occupied
if i had lots of spare time id be swirling in this spiral aswell.

^ I don't know if you mention this as advice or not, but I think that distracting yourself isn't a good idea.
Life passes very fast if you don't take active control of time to spend it on stuff that you think actually matter. Glorifying keeping busy makes it harder to think on a bigger scale and evaluate/rearrange priorities
(ironically enough written in someone's blog in an internet forum semi drunk)
god damn it

sorry

i think it's difficult for me to give useful insight about depression because i'm subconsciously trying to avoid a spiral of thought-association that would lead me back to depression. but i like your first paragraph and agree. one thing i noticed that might seem counterintuitive to some people, but for whatever reason feels therapeutic for me, is taking time to consider just how meaningless our existence is.

I think there are two main things that have helped me with depression. The first one was reading/watching/listening to very depressing things which don't sugarcoat the truth, which is that life is essentially an unprofitable venture, and allowing my thoughts to develop from this no matter the dark places that it led me to. From that iconoclastic lense, which involves no deception and no denial, I found a great amount of peace.

The second thing has been cats. I prefer their company to the company of people, and found that they will help you through whatever it is you are going through. Sadly my first cat, who I was the closest to, died unexpectedly two days ago, and it has been very difficult. But I've allowed myself to experience the grief and not attempt to minimize it, and that is always key. Reality is often horrific and only when we accept it and don't try to escape it with delusions, distractions and positive thinking can we become real human beings.

Sorry to hear that Loco. That's one of the hardest things about having pets. RIP.

What Loco is describing is a psychological tactic where you simply imagine the worst possible scenario in your life or problem. Then you take time to face this worst scenario, and make peace with it. You are then free to live at peace with any outcome, because you have already given up resisting whatever may come. Therefore, suffering is impossible, as suffering is the resistance to reality, even pain isnt suffering if it isnt resisted.

A lot of stuff sounds like Eckharte Tolle quotes. He wrote a simple short book "the power of now" which is pure truth. Much of it is taken from old buddhist philosophy etc, but it still is good.

The main point is how does one find a way to face every moment without resistance to what is. Another quote I recall is to start out by finding away to forgive yourself every single moment.

I relisten to the book read by him once a year and it is very simple and repetitive, yet I find myself understanding more each time.

Oh and btw, sorry about the cat loco Eckhart Tolle says he has lived with many enlightened beings, all of them cats fwiw. Love to all, peace.

On August 12 2015 21:09 bigredhoss wrote: sorry i think it's difficult for me to give useful insight about depression because i'm subconsciously trying to avoid a spiral of thought-association that would lead me back to depression. but i like your first paragraph and agree. one thing i noticed that might seem counterintuitive to some people, but for whatever reason feels therapeutic for me, is taking time to consider just how meaningless our existence is.

rofl

yeah, i was thinking kind of seriously for a bit like yeah, man, let's write some stuff. Then that video just made me laugh and i don't care as much.

I have been taking some hikes with Gogol recently and that has been nice too. We are all sinners with good and bad traits. Some like to be busy. Some like to be still. We do stuff. Then we die. Being honest and fair just seems like the route to take from wise accounts. Then everyone is faced with some things that question that. Then shit happens. Then shit happens. Like, in op above i talk about "God." Like, in many things i write or try to express about God, god, "God," Lord, Heavenly Father, Gaia, Ganesh, reality, coincidence, etal, et al , etc... It is, in actuality, in reality, in truth, impossible to express. Likely, impossible for anyone not me to understand fully. Strikes and gutters. Fuck it, let's go bowling.

On August 13 2015 00:05 Loco wrote: I think there are two main things that have helped me with depression. The first one was reading/watching/listening to very depressing things which don't sugarcoat the truth, which is that life is essentially an unprofitable venture, and allowing my thoughts to develop from this no matter the dark places that it led me to. From that iconoclastic lense, which involves no deception and no denial, I found a great amount of peace. The second thing has been cats. I prefer their company to the company of people, and found that they will help you through whatever it is you are going through. Sadly my first cat, who I was the closest to, died unexpectedly two days ago, and it has been very difficult. But I've allowed myself to experience the grief and not attempt to minimize it, and that is always key. Reality is often horrific and only when we accept it and don't try to escape it with delusions, distractions and positive thinking can we become real human beings.

Sorry for your loss. I joke that God expresses himself through my Cat but honestly, if i did not have the love of my cat i would likely feel way more lost and way more despair and way more fear than i do. He is like my guiding light through the chaos even though sometimes it feels like he does not give a shit about anything but in reality he knows more than i can even fathom. Cats are the shit.

"When I play with my cat, who knows if I am not a pastime to her more than she is to me?" - Montaigne