Courageous people feel the same fear everyone else does, they just decide not to live like they're afraid anymore - Bob Goff
Intro
Me and a friend had a conversation once under psychadelic circumstances and as we sat there takeing in our surroundings he turned to me and asked:
We all know whats right and wrong, and we all know what we should do to be happy and take care of ourself and others, why arent we doing that?
This is something ive kinda thought about for most of my life and more so since he layed it out to me that straight up. Its something i think everyone
is familiar with as a human being. The constant struggle between hope and fear where fear is holding us back. Many philosophical characters claims that
all fear roots back to the fear of death, more or less. Sam harris has a really good lecture on this.
On the other side of the spectrum tho, you know that ”fighting spirit” type feeling u sometimes feel inside when ur about to give up but decides not to?
That feeling that feeds the knowing of: FUCK, i can fucking do this, if I really wanted to. So why arent I doing this again?
I started ranting/brainstorming many hours ago now in a textdocument wich i do from time to time and i got into reviewing big turning points in my life
and after a while i felt like i wanted to continue the rant in a blogpost since im in a writeing type of mood today. Also i had intentions in makeing a
blogpost about my upcomeing plans for the future so why not mixx the two of them together. They kinda go hand in hand in a sense afterall.
Turning points of my life
I spent 3 hours writing on this subject earlier today (and im still going strong lol) and im gonna try to sum it up more so in this text. Something ive
realised about all of this, and there is many good podcasts and lectures and books on this subject, when it comes to pushing urself outside of your
comfortzone to grow as a person. Today i thought about all the big turning points in my life.
* Like most kids i was haveing a really insecure childhood growing up in a small town enviorment trying to be someone i wasnt. Drinking moonshine
every weekend from the age of 13 and trying to be a ”badass” to fit in to the redneckhillbillystereotypical-type people that i went to school with.
At that point my biggest secret in the whole world was that i liked to play guitar, and that i was good at starcraft, good enough actually to play in the
swedish nationalteam. Alltho back then i would rather have committed suicide then telling any other kid that i was actually good at a computer game,
what a massive fucking nerd to actually be good at something u love, right. Fucking retarded kids. When i was 16 i moved out from my parents house and got a
job and a supersmall cheap appartment and started takeing care of myself in another city to study music/theater/photgraphy on my own at this ”hippie”type school
while all my old friends stayed. -> still live in that town and thank god i did what i did when i was 16.
* When i was 19-20 i quit my job and moved in under the stairs (literally under the stairs, harry potter! high five bro!) with 5 other guys in the
appartment for a rent of 70$/month since i wanted to persue poker, wich was what i really loved and what i wanted to do while everyone thought i was fucking
insane, alot of you can probably relate to this . I lived there and it took me about 1-2 years of hard work to really become good enough at poker to make
enough money to really live comforably on my own and move out from under the stairs as i eventually leveled up through the stakes.
* I wasnt fat when i was growing up, but i got really fucking fat 2011 for some reason, mostly due to a semidepression and well, just playing poker all day
I decided later that year to go to thailand to train and lose weight, and me and my friend spent 2 superstrict months training/eating healthy in patong. For you who know
where patong is in thailand, its the true core of hookers drugs and partying in phuket, but we stayed clean of everything since we got an appartment there + was motivated to succeed.
2 months later, i'd lost 25 kg (~55pounds). Sure im still a bit overweight today and have been in periods after that but im never gonna get that big again and since then ive
lived a pretty healthy life overall Especially this year.
Before/afterpicks from that time during the late ~2011 trip: + Show Spoiler +
I stole the afterpic from raiderns LP interview he did with me, its from ~ that time, im not a big pictureperson
Ive for sure been blogging about that earlier, sorry to the blogfollowing readers for the repitition.
So? who cares..
So why am i bringing all of these ”big” events from my life up in this blog? Am i trying to brag about how i overcome some demons and managed to attain some success in life/poker?
What i came to realise as i was brainstorming in my bubble earlier this day was that all of those things that has shaped my life into something better
came from massive fucking action and pushing myself out of my comfortzone. Its so eye opening when u put it like that.
Another thing that has led me to success many times is hitting rock bottom, feeling fucking miserable over a broken heart, overweight, just being busto
at poker etc, and finding that fighting spirit, FUCK things needs to change. Ive done this multiple times in my pokercareer to get better at poker.
Again end of 2012-2013 was such a period for me, i was heartbroken from a girl, i was busto degening away 100s of thousands of dollars like a maniac and i was staked with big depts.
I struggled with panic anxiety and other stuff for the first time in my life, I was gaining weight again and i was really really fucking scared for a period of time there.
What about it? Time went on, a year or so passed and I got my shit together, I realised, wtf am i doing? Am i just gonna give up? The kid that wanted to be the best in the world first in
starcraft, then in poker? Are you fucking kidding me? I started working out again, i got my pokershit together i worked in flopzilla, CREV, HEM and i worked hard again and what happened?
I started winning again (duh?!), i attained SNE and i payed back my depts. To tie this rant up, it was that fighting spirit that got me back on track. Like it has been time and time again.
Its more then okey to fail guys, but never fucking give up.
Moveing on..
Future? BJJ around the world!
Onwards to the bigger news that i wanted to blog about in the first place. Here it comes
Today i booked a one way ticket to Australia, a chain reaction from many things through my life, but lately breaking up with my gf earlier this year
due to not being ready yet. Simple as that, i wanna do these things im gonna do now before settleing down. Im sure i will come to realise in the future
that it is just settleing down, haveing kids and giveing nothing but love to your family is what life is all about and what i want to persue, but at
this point. I dont know it yet, i have to realise that first.
This is it. I hate it when people complain or come with excuses to why they arent doing something but something i hate more is when i catch myself doing it and
since im a person i assure you, it happends alot . This travel the world on my own thing is something ive had in my mind for many years now and
now its fucking time. Ive kind of felt like i wanted to become the pokerplayer first, and that all my time has to go into poker for me to achieve anything close
to that before doing this, wich is kind of a stupid mentality overall imo ”im gonna do what i want, after im done with this thing first, and then theres this other
thing after that, and then this other thing, THEN im gonna do it for sure”
My plan is to have no plan, basically. Im a pretty introverted humble person IRL, believe it or not, that rarely takes alot of space in social
situations and i want to force myself to get better at this, therefor im gonna start this quest traveling on my own for the true first time. I
also want to keep getting in better shape aswell as getting better at BJJ.
My goal is to start the ”adventure” without a laptop and to stay at hostels to really push myself to talk to random people and not fall back on the grind or internet. Im gonna train BJJ in sydney, i found some interesting gym near bondibeach wich im gonna start with. Do that for a few weeks to later meet up
with a friend whos traveling in australia atm, she asked me if i wanted to go snorkling in the great barrier reef with them in december and i figured it can be a good milestonegoal to have on my timeline.
After that i want to travel around australia for a few months and train BJJ at different gyms, buy some cheap small laptop and combine some grind with
the backpacking lifestyle.
Why blog?
Im really nervous. Ive never backpacked or traveled alone really before and its a bit scary. Im not stacked on money and i suck at PLO so my weak laazy
comfortzone half tells me that alot of things can go wrong, will they tho? Do i have much to lose? Whats the worst thing that can happen?
Im pretty sure i will learn some stuff atleast and hopefully i can add this trip to my next "brainstorming-over-past-turning-points-session"
I plan on committing to a BJJ around the world type thing and ill try to blog alot about life, traveling, BJJ and poker as i go on this adventure. Ive
been going back and fourth on blogging about it thinking in the terms of ”why do i need to make this public, am i so insecure that i want people to know
that im going for it?” and then i think, why the fuck not. It might motivate me, committ me and push me. Maybe it will keep me company at some times when
im alone for days and it can surely help me keep in contact with people at home, pokerfriends and such that will be reading my blog. Maybe i can inspire some
people as im a believer of not haveing everything figured out. My brother was almost murdered recently and me, and my family kinda realised
(wich we all know deep inside) that anything can happen, at any time. U think the variance in PLO is sick? Variance in life is even sicker and there is nothing
holding us back really from pushing it.
I do have plans, but i dont wanna plan everything to much for my future with where i wanna travel and with poker and such. Things can happen realisations can
be made and im just gonna start with the one way ticket to australia and see where that take me, with intentions of advanceing from my whitebelt status in
BJJ and to travel around alot, meet alot of people, see and experience alot of things.
Cliffs
Yolo
U all know im a rogan fan, and i know many of you are aswell.
If u read the entire thing, thanks for reading, please leave some comments/PMs with anything on your mind, insight/tips/questions what ever. let me know if
ur in australia the upcomeing months or if u have any tips on where to go or where to train BJJ etc.
Im gonna try to keep this update short, but knowing myself it will prolly end up in some huge ranty sea of text. Ive mostly been "blogging" on this swedish forum pokerforum.nu, u can find my blog (its more like a mixx of a well+blog+thread) there (in swedish), its called "longple". And i thought its about time to make an update over here on whats been up in longplelife the past time
SNE 2013
So i made SNE 2013, and tryed to make it again 2014, but found myself ~mid2014 around june or so very fucking tired and unmotivated with NL, despite haveing a pretty good ~recent year 18-24 tableing midstakes NL on stars.
These arent completely accurate tho, its taken from the swedish forum, where i scrapped together the different databases i could get a hold on (hands from november/december 2013 til august 2014 somewhere), but theres alot of hands missing from other sites and higher stakes.
I def lost alot on 5/10 ring wich isnt there, aswell as some 10/20 and 25/50 shots that backfired.
On another note ive won in somewhat big games on the swedish site, wich isnt added in this sample either. So im not entirely sure of how my results are this year, but they are probably somewhat accurate, def not up more then 100k at the tables tho.
What ever, moveing on.
Quitting SNE / NLrant
So in july or so i just woke up, tryed to get my 4 hours of 18+ grind on, 1/2 fine, 500+400 fine, what ever was running i just wanted to get on the fucking waitlists and get done with the VPPs so i could do something else and had no passion wanting to move up or doing anything else then getting my safe hourly in.
And i realised how fucking miserable i felt about poker, and what type of player i had become compared to the type of player i used to be. The motivated hard working shottakeing dreamer of a pokerplayer that would sit up all night 3 tableing with some regs hu/3 handed/4 handed w/e just for the competition and the love for the game with goals of being the best in the world.
Wtf happened, Im not even that good at the game anymore.
Honestly i feel like 50% of the regs playing 5/10 today on stars, probably are better players then i am. And i dont see how i could find enough motivation to break into the 10/20+ starsgames anymore, every reg is fucking seatscripting GTO-yogis nowadays and they are really fucking good.
No one battles anyone and theres just so little room for a 26 year old dude who isnt that passionated about the game anymore to ever break into that enviorment.
Basically i gave up, and that has scared me a long time unconsciously i think. Thats where my spirit and success has always rooted from as a pokerplayer. The mentality of IF U CAN I FUCKING I CAN TO, AND I WILL SUCCEED.
Realiseing that i just didnt see any future in NL.
So i decided to drop SNE 50% in, and try something new.
PLOOOOOO
Ok, ive wanted/and tryed to move over to PLO for many years, but i always shamefully came back to NL again and again to make money. But now is the fucking time for the real change.
In the beginning of august i started playing 1/2$ PLO and have been doing so pretty much most sessions since then.
As ive said in my swedish "diaryblogg" many times, poker is fucking fun again. People are battleing, people play different, people suck and theres no fucking seatscripts (atleast on the stakes im playing now)
PLO is the shit, the fact that the game is soooo much bigger then NL makes it alot more interesting imo. Theres no clearcut answers in this game and people are all over the place, i mean, NL has 1300 combos, and theres fucking 7000 combos of AAxx in PLO. GG
PLO results so far?
Who cares? Being a noob of the game, and being a student of the game, improveing every day i dont really care about the results as much as ive done in NL. Its just fun to play and i just want to get good, and i dont really have any expectations of winning anything in this game for some time, atleast not in 2014. My real goals are to set myself up for 2015 and just play as much as i want to play, wich so far has been quite alot of hours.
Its fun to drop down playing 2-6 tables again instead of 18+ every session. Its fun to have things to think about, and find out stuff along the way. And people fucking battle in this game, all the time. Its so much easier to start games and get into these oldschool battles that i used to be in NL a few years ago.
anyways, heres the plograph so far
Special shoutout to Joeingram
I gotta thank Joey alot for his podcast, it defenetely helped me to get more inspired and motivated to play PLO, and i think its great for PLO and poker that ur doing what ur doing joey. I must admit i was kinda annoyed by u and made some judgements about u when u first came around with ur Vlogs and popbets and ur blog over here on LP. But with time, hands down i think ur awesome, GW AND KEEP IT UP!
Im excited for the future. I think i can get good at this game, maybe its a breeze of hope, who knows but i feel overall alot more motivated about playing poker and talking poker. PLO has set me back in time. The game is alot softer relative to NL, i can tell u that much right from the getgo. The spectrum of players is alot bigger and i just like the PLOworld more overall and its given me hope when it comes to my motivation.
If ur bored with NL, and find my story similair. Just switch, give it a few months like ive done and see if u can get as excited as i am.
I havent been blogging at all this year, nor posting too many hands as of late, i appologize for that but i have just been focusing hardcore on the grind and my game, ull understand why if u keep on reading.
With alot of people asking for updates about how im doing etc lately i figured its time as the year is comeing to its end soon(ish) to blog a bit, since i right now feel kinda hyped up and strong mentally.
Ok here we go.
Abit of Ket drama and Naz/daut/mig/smuft stake
As many of you know i lost and busted my roll last year, 400k$. I got a stake by ket pretty fast after going busto and played under him for a few months. We didnt make a solid agreement and everything was kinda badly done from both my and kets end. Long story short i lost some money on the stake, and we got some misscommunication where i thought our stake was over after that since he didnt want to shoot in more money, he was traveling alot during that period and we didnt keep the most active contact. With me not playing for an entire month i had no idea that his plans were that we were gonna continue the stake and clear some makeup and stuff before we were done with eachother.
I didnt even have an idea of what makeup was back then since ive never been or staked any1 before. As i went public and wrote a blogpost about getting a new stake things got really messy. Nazgul Daut Mig and Smuft took me under their wings almost instantly as i posted that stakerequest blog. The problem being me thinking mine and Kets deal was over and Ket thinking it wasnt over. Naz and the guys helped out tons with reviewing skypehistory between me and Ket etc to find out "who was right" and it was all very unclear and things got really rough for me and i had a sick breakdown where everything just felt so fucked up. I had some personal issues during that time with a deep relationship comeing to an end and with the big busting of roll, fearing being in depts aswell as playing on a stake was to much for me and i ended up crying for the first time in years infront of my computer with all the skypewindows up with investigation from Naz and the team aswell as Ket talking to both me and the team.
After a while discussing if i should or shouldnt owe ket money we didnt get any smarter and i really didnt wanna go judge judy on the situation. So instead i talked to Ket as a friend and he responded as a friend and i really felt shitty about everything and i felt like it didnt matter who was right or wrong, it was just a honest misscommunication error. As a friend i wanted to pay him back. Ket and i came to an agreement keeping our problem outside the new Naz-team stake. Ket was very supportive and we agreed of meeting somewhere inbetween with me oweing him a dept of a set amount of $ somewhere inbetween 0 and what i was oweing him in makeup instead or if i wanted to comeback play for him after my new stake was over that was fine too without any timeframe and i felt very relieved that we setteled and came to an agreement as friends. Ket is awesome and i appricieate his understanding of the type of pressure i was under during that time.
So Ket, i havent forgotten about us, im going to pay you before the end of this year no doubt, thats a promise.
Naz-team 5/10$ stake and BJJ in Thailand
As mine and Kets missunderstanding was cleared out i was ready to start grinding again for my new masters and things started out really well. After the first 2 months on stake or so i was up almost 60k$ on 5/10 stars and things felt great, in early 2013 i flyed down to Thailand and grinded from there and started doing BJJ and i started to feel stronger and stronger mentally.
It was the first time i tryed BJJ (ive only done some boxing and muaythai) and all i have to say about that is that BJJ is fucking awesome. I trained for about 2 months on Phuket Top team (link to their homepage here: http://www.phukettopteam.com/). Our BJJ coach there was a 3rd degree blackbelt from brazil and he was no doubt the best coach ive trained under. Im pretty sure im gonna go back there to attend more of his classes in the future.
Here is a clip from one of our trainingsessions:
U can see me in the background around the 57sec mark in yellow and a purple cap (was injured when the video was recorded, i was only there that session to watch and learn)
I hurt my back when a guy took it and choked me out and i wasnt able to train for the last couple weeks of my time there. Therefor as my visa was expiering during the 2nd month in thailand i flew home again to rest up and grind more. I ended up haveing backproblems for aobut 3 months or so wich was sad, i lost the spark a bit. I now train alittlebit home here in sweden. Hopefully i can go at it more actively since BJJ as stated earlier is fucking awesome. imo.
More about poker and qutting the stake
After thailand my heater was clearly over and i started to struggle alot. I was breaking even/slowly loseing over 4-500k hands mostly 5/10$ and i felt like shit again pokerwise. I didnt feel like the best player at the table or even close to it very often and i lost alot of confidence during this period, but that only motivated me to get more into pokertheory and study harder. The games have gotten really though and i think pretty much 50% of the 5/10+ Reg field on pokerstars are as good or superior to me. This was very new for me and Ive learnt alot this year and the entire experience has been good overall for my ego and getting a better grasp of what im capable of and my overall pokerskill. Ive felt like pretty much the best player on 5/10 10/20 for years prior to 2013 and clearly thats not the case anymore and it took some time for that to sink in. But like i said earlier, that lit a big fire under my ass and ive been working harder then ever before with adding more and more offtable study since this summer and ive improved tons and im really starting to the see results of that aswell as just feeling like a much better player now then i was when this year started.
As of August the 1st me and the staketeam talked things over and with probably 600k hands played on stake, being breakeven we made the decision to quit the stake while still being in the green, i was close to supernova elite phase, and i wanted to go after it and move down stakes and continue on my own, the team was very supportive of my plan and we all agreed on going seperatly with my backers only makeing a small profit. Wich feels alittlebit bad, i wouldnt mind makeing more money for them as they have been nothing else but supportive and very good to me.
Thanks to Ket Naz Daut Mig and Smuft Pinball and Dusty for everything u guys have done for me during this rough time, i really appriciate it.
Unfortunatly i dont have all the hands from the stake on my computer, i only have from april-july on this computer on stake, and the thailandhands i got on my laptop, but i felt like instead of getting those graphs posted here i can just tell my results instead, they arent very good. all together its pretty much a 600k hand graph going up 60k in the first 100k hands, and then pendeling between 0$ and 45k$ up and down up and down for the next 500k hands.
Moveing down in stakes for the first time in years, results and graphs
August 1st, i was finally playing on my own again for the first time in a loooong time. i deposited 15k$ of my own money on stars and started off alittlebit behind SNEphase 24 tableing 1/2.
I was alittle scared to be honest about how the skill level would be on 1/2 and if i could be able to masstable it profitably but after starting off with a 25 buy in day the first day as my own boss the pressure was instantly gone as i felt like i defenetely had nothing to fear down there without judgeing to much from the good first payday but more on the level of the regulars in those games compared to the 5/10 level (no offence to all of u LP 1/2 regs out there)
1/2 graph:
After buying acouple of FPP bonuses together with the profit i made on 1/2 i decided to take a 2/4 shot after only 2 weeks of grinding 1/2 (yes, i played 110k hands in 2 weeks ) once i hit 75 buy ins for it and change things up to 12-16 tables instead since i felt like i didnt do toooo well 24 tableing 1/2 as it often got very stressful. I hit a big heater on 2/4 and i felt really strong as i put in tons of hours in CRev and doing theorywork on my ranges during these months my game felt stronger then ever and takeing a step back was defenetely good for me accepting that i wasnt crushing 5/10 anymore. I feel right now that i took 2 steps forward with this movedown in stakes together with all the time and effort i put in off the tables.
2/4 graph:
12-16 tableing was defenetely my sweetspot, running insanely good helped out tons too obviously. As i bulldozed through 2/4 i started playing 500zoom as i hit 75 buyins for that.
500zoom graph:
Poker feels easy again and i even took some 3/6 and 5/10 shots wich didnt go to well
3/6 and 5/10 shots so far:
Where does all of this fit in on a timeline?
Well, since i started playing 1/2 August the 1st this year ive only played about 2.5 months now on my own and im currently putting in most of my hours on 500zoom and have been doing so for about 1.5 month together with 2/4 and alittlebit of 3/6 + the small 5/10 shot i did one day wich ended badly.
Oh, i recently also deposited a littlebit on my bread and butter swedish site Svenskaspel, these are my results the past days (godmode activated)
Cant really complain about those 4.5k hands
The games are still extremely soft for the stakes ive been playing there, wich is mostly 25/50 sek aka 4/8$ but today i even took a 8/16$ shot wich ended up more then well for me.
Small sample over there but i really noticed how much my game really with capital R have improved this year. Playing with the swedish regs on that site puts things in perspective, it feels like im Neo in the matrix.
Supernovaelite
Today as i was playing 4 tables of 500 zoom together with 2-3 tables on the swedish site i got over the 800k VPP mark and SNE starts to become a reality now, im getting really close and im about 30k VPP above phase. Spotting that 20000$ number today floating beside the milestonebar felt really good. SOOOOOON
The future for longple, rant
What are my plans for the future? Well, first off im gonna finish this brutally tought SNE grind and give SNE the finger. I can with confidence say, never again.
It has been a tough year, very tough year, breaking even and getting my ego and confidence crushed during the first 6 months of the year aswell as putting in all of these hours into poker, both playing and studying i cant really say ive had much of a life this year. But it has been a very good ride. I have forced myself to improve my game and get a better understanding of pokertheory, math and the "GTO" approach. Wich is all new for me, being what i would concider a prior washed up explo lagtard that have gotten destroyed by the new rooster of really tough good hardworking highstakesregulars. And im happy to say that i feel like ive catched up to them and i look forward to trying to get my ass back up on highstakes, WITHOUT supernovaelite. I dont think im capable of playing on that level on that many tables/hours that is needed for SNE, its insanely challaging and theres been alot of B and even C game volume, but atleast now my B and C game have improved to probably my old B+ game in quality. However i dont think i can do this again, unless i want to settle on midstakes, wich isnt really what i want to do, i still have great ambitions to become a feared highstakesreg again, and im pretty sure i will get there, with playing fewer tables and higher quality volume + continue working on my game outside the tables, i have all the tools, now its just up to me how i want to spend my pokertime.
Im looking forward to playing fewer tables next year, play fewer hours aswell as hopefully playing higher stakes without cutting out my new offtable workethic im sure i will get there. Im also looking forward to enjoy life more off the computer and get back into BJJ more again aswell as spend alot more time with my friends.
Thats all for now, ill make another update at the end of the year, hopefully i can continue and finish the year as strong as i have been the last months.
the last post i made was about finding a stake, i wasnt hopeing for to much as i felt going public like that would look desperate. I guess i was wrong? got tons of PMs from ppl (appriciate that, with extrathanks to dusty ( heart ) and his involvement in gathering people left and right to help me out.
But the first person sending me a PM just minutes after i posted was Smuft+crew. A couple of days later I ended up getting into a deal with a strong LP lineup of smuft/mig/nazgul and daut (with daut selling pieces to pinball/dusty aswell)
I got a really good longtermkindofadeal with alot of room to be longple and swing around on 2/4-5/10 in my standard fashion wich im very happy about.
There was some misscommunication between me and Ket regarding our previous stakedeal, wich u can all read some about in the last couple of comments in the last blog. But we worked it out pretty quickly and we felt like that was between me and ket and im glad ket is such a nice and easy person to deal with and its all good between us. It could have gotten really messy if ket wasnt ket.
Anyways, ive had a pretty rough year so far but im starting to feel the groove again and ill try to keep up posting some hands on LP and stay positive takeing it step by step this whole thing, and im sure its gonna work out just fine for me in the end.
Signed up for a meditationclass over 6 weeks that starts tomorrow, have been interested in that shit for a long time now and im looking forward to it alot, as i already do a fair bit of yoga (wich is an awesome way of working out imo, try it out and ull start sweating like a pig within 5 minutes).
I havent blogged on LP since May where i basically wrote that ive been loseing most of my roll going on adventures on 25/50 and 50/100$ wich ended badly (lost almost 200k$ from peak that month only).
Since then i went to thailand for a month to cool off and get my mind off poker, i ended up playing some there and lost even more and when i got back home, spending alot on the trip itself i continued grinding 5/10 ish stakes and voila nothing worked for me, i ran bad, probably played alittle bad and ended up loseing alot more.
in July i was left with not much money at all, wich ive been liveing on since then as i contacted a few LPrs personally for a stake to kind of get out of my panicmode and secure the money that i had so that i could live my life and pay rent and bills and stuff without a problem for the rest of the year. I ended up getting staked by our very own Ket.
things looked good in the start, i won alot on midstakes and playing SH Ket gave me alot of freeroom to take 10/20 shots aswell as takeing HU variancegames if i felt i had an edge (with my pokerego thats basically every1 except sauce and kanu)
i ended up loseing a ton while playing HU and winning alot playing SH
these were the results from the time playing with Ket as a backer:
I lost another 10k on Ongame and since Ket pretty much stopped playing poker and dosnt have any money online anymore, we decided to quit the stake since he didnt have enough to keep me going on 2/4-5/10 / didnt want to risk loseing more, wich is 100% understandable
Playing around with HEM filters
Those results dosnt look to sexy, but imo there is more to it than just that, and there is some good things to look at from these hands i played for Ket. alot of my losses have come from HU deep matches that ended badly, for example i lost 35k$ to a very compitent reg on 5/10 in a single session.
these are my ringgame results filtering out 3 players and more:
as u can see i didnt do to well in my HU matches loseing 50k$ on 2/4-5/10 HU in about 30k hands.
HU variance is pretty brutal and loseing 40 buy ins or something in a HU match is something ive done multiple multiple times in a day, and normally i shake it off pretty fast (when being rolled for it)
My HU graph lifetime would prettymuch be 100 buy in ups and 100 buy in downs in pretty small samples, and its pretty standard when faceing the type of people who wants to play me headsup on HS.
anyways, i feel like i really fucked up with Ket, not really handeling the situation im in to well, i mean, playing HU against the best guys on the limit is probably not the way to go with those type of swings when being on stake, where the % of winnings are reduced u should really just look for lower variance bigger edge kind of spots. longple gonna longple i guess.
im not really trying to scew this to trick a (possible) future staker on this whole thing, u cant just look at the winning days or winning limits, then i would have even sexier graphs then ive been posting here the last couple of years, overall results says that im a breakeven bb/100 player over 200k hands lately, wich isnt to much to brag about. But im just trying to sell myself as the winning player i know that i am, and looking at it from the positive angle (wich is filtering out the HU matches) where u can really see a pretty solid edge.
More tricks up my sleeve + what am I looking for?
Since what im looking for now is really just a stake to play SH mainly 5/10 and stay away from both HU and 10/20 until im back on my feet again and have a big roll, because these past 6 months have been really fucking hard on me and i really need some help because i have alot of energy and freetime obviously and im eager to play and get out of this hole that ive put myself in.
To scew the angle alittlebit more, (i feel like its somewhat relevant) filtering out the 10/20 results this is how my graph looks like dureing these past months playing for Ket. (wich is the results for the stakes that i want a stake for)
With that 20k$ dip in the end putting the nail on the whole thing (i stopped played HU after talking it over with Ket the last couple of weeks, things looked great but the big loseing day put me about 30k$ in the Red for the whole stake, wich was where we decided to end it.
All im trying to show from all these filtered results is that there is some relevans to it, since what im looking for is a 2/4-5/10 ONLY SHORTHANDED stake.
Feels kind of crappy to putmyself out like this as a broke degenerate that hasnt been winning for the past 7 months, but i dont really care how i will look after posting this. Ive fucked up bigtime, loseing alot of money this year on stupipidity basically. I have to bite in the sour apple now if i even wanna keep playing poker, wich is what i wanna do for atleast 1-2 more years since i feel like there is still alot of money to be made, and i still have a decently big edge in the games. not as big as 1 year ago maybe, but still a pretty big edge.
Im not sure if posting it this way will either shoot me in the leg or end up being a winner since i feel like i somewhat are talking around facts by showing different filters in HEM, and i probably have enough trust and faith from the LP community as a winning player that i dont need to show these filtered results. But im really tired of messing around like this, these last months ive been thinking alot about poker and life and yadda yadda and im tired of doing this now, i just wanna bumhunt for a while and get back on my feet, cuz my head hurts, i havent won anything this year and just gone on stupid rollercoasters takeing the thoughest HU and 3 handed games my whole carrer. I dont want that anymore, im getting old
im desperate for help since the only option i have other then getting a stake, is falling back on 0.5/1$ or something and spend 100s of hours grinding my way back up. I really think investing those 100s of hours playing my maingames even if not getting 100% of the winnings (possible winnings i guess) is a better way to go.
any1 interested? cuz im all out of personal contacts to ask for help.
if so, hit me up with a PM and we'll excange skypes and talk more there.
Alot of earlier results and information about me can be found earlier in this blog, im also pretty sure that there are some "big name" LPrs that are willing to vouch for me aswell if some1 wants that
As i got back home from this winters asiatrip i got a cold and have been sick this whole year basically (100 day curse from hell). But i seem to start getting rid of it, finally! have been missing a couple of weeks workout so gonna compensate that by joining my partner in crime in thailand again for some training and chilling.
Its still semicold here in northeren sweden, the snow just melted away and its only topping at +10 degrees so im not missing out much on the spring in sweden. For this trip i plan only to be away 3-4weeks and get back home to a swedish summer and eurocup 2012 (go sweden yey we made the qualification) wich i look forward to alot, gonna be an epic summer hopefully!
Muay thai training camp!
The place we are gonna train at is located in phuket, 15min taxi from patong and is supposed to be one of thailands best trainingcamps
( http://www.tigermuaythai.com/ ) the goal is to do 2 workous/day for the whole month. gonna be really nice to get back to working out again and try some muay thai. have been interested in starting some sort of mma:ish training for a while now and living nearby the campsite (2 min walk from hotel according to my friend that already is there since a couple of days ago) and go there everyday to book privatelessons aswell as grouptraining is gonna be a nice push to get into more intense workouts (still have sucky cardio). also doing it all with a friend is gonna help for motivation etc too.
heres alittle videotour on the camp
booked flight next monday, may 14th and will go back in beginning of june.
Poker
As for poker i feel i need this aswell, have been downswonging some lately on 25/50$ shots as some of u guys know already and im back down to grinding out 5/10 and hopefully 10/20 again soon enough and i feel i lack motivation in grinding when i cant split up my roll as much with not to many games running most of the time, i did the classic longplemistake wasteing almost all of my $'sl on shots last couple of months playing both SH and mutlitable HU games at the same time and im gonna look to only play SH next time i take shots as the swings in HU is just to great for me to take shots in it without feeling bad when failing, unless i wanna grind up a million BI roll on 5/10 10/20 beforehand. (wich i will kinda try to do for next shots aswell)
allthough i feel that ive played my best poker during these shots and ive gotten a decent amount of volume in during march/april on 25/50$ and i know that i beat those games and most of those guys, its just a matter of time and dicipline and better running
as for recovery ive played some 2/4-5/10€ games alongside with the swedish site svenskaspel as those games are very faimliar to me even tho it rarely runs to many games, but some evenings u can get 4-5 25/50sek games running and maybe even some 50/100sek (4/8$ and 8/16$) but most nights ur stuck playing 2 tables or so.
i have trouble to put in as much volume as i would like to after busting both my stars and ongame roll + getting easily bored/annoyed still after wasteing so much that i cant even take 10/20$ games anymore on the networks that id like to, stars/ongame etc. so going to thailand focusing more on health again and less grind will hopefully get me a refreshed mindset on grinding my way back again (even tho ive been doing well recovering so far)
April results:
peaked at +120k$ in beginning of april but ended up down 50k$ or so total
$ sites:
SEK:
also lost 10k$ live + some in stakeing/% buys etc etc
The 120k$ profit heater in the start of the month was all <25/50$ and down, kind of a repeat of march ^^ heater up 100k$ on <25/50 and wasteing all profits there, boom!
Busted stars and ongameroll due to takeing the shot to far left me with less options, started a small roll going on a € site at the end of april and have been doing good there, playing 2/4-5/10€
The plan
so the plan is to obviously continue grinding in thai, at a more chillaxed rate, take some games here and there but basically only take soft games and not worry about it to much, because i still feel like playing higher then i should, and thats, as Daut putted it: BAD LONGPLE, BAD! And when i get back im gonna be pumped to play again and hopefully by then ive won some more on the € site so i can get a starsroll going again and be more motivated in putting volume on 5/10 10/20, and soon ill attack them 25/50$ games again, but with a little better approach next time
Gay stuff
friend linked me this video, its all gay etc etc but it was still a nice motivational video imo and it made me alittle happier inside
now ive been laying on my couch snoring all over the place for to long, its time to get back on the regiment!
Ive felt alittle bad after promesing a video with commentary and then not delivering. Makeing the poll and all so i decided today as i woke up i had enough energy makeing one. So i just just recorded a video with commentary and as im rendering the project im writing this blog + cooking lunch.
its a live recording, just ranting and babbeling mostly but there are some interesting spots and i run like jesus (still) and win alot in the video, so atleast there is alot of big pots, lol
I talk about it some in the video, but i had this chat about life with Andrew, Highcard (on lp) for 4-5 hours or so last night and i told him that LP support really helped me gain enough confidence to move up to 5/10+ and just feel confident in those games, and i really do, i see nothing stopping me now, i have yet alot to learn, im not a perfect player or anything but i think i can do it, and thats thanks to all the attention ive gotten from LP. so thank you guys
I took myself completely on my own, playing my own wierd style from NL10 to NL400 but i kept failing at the 5/10 shots. About a year ago or so i posted my big post about how i got a good winrate on midstakes, and thats when it all started basically. The support and appriciation i got from that post from LP was sick, and i went up to 5/10 and started crushing a during that time, and by the 2nd half of 2011 i was takeing 10/20 and even some higher games then that, doing well and then busting on 25/50 50/100$ shots and other retarded stuff, u can read about that in older blogs if interested. (lol random combo breaker in my speech right there ), but now im back, and already im takeing 25/50$ shots again and im pretty sure im there to stay this time around, im not gonna make the same misstake again.
So LP helped me in that way, and after getting the greenstar and a ton of people responding to everything i post has given me that extra confidence i think i really needed. So this video is for you guys!
enjoy! DL VIDEO HERE: https://rapidshare.com/files/2240865890/ongamevideo.wmv
Its just sad LP kinda is dying, but ill do my best to keep it alive, we are still a decent group of people posting here regulary so lets go on for atleast a couple of more years!
as for life, got some issues atm irl but running well at poker and doing fun things IRL is really helping out alot, working out 4 times a week now with a close buddy, really love that ive taken up training and getting fitter/healthier. i really recommend all of you doing the same. get that laazy ass moveing.
And oh yeah i also finished up my tattoo last week, it hurt like fuck, 9 hours total of pure pain but im very happy with the results, what do u guys think?
So as i told ket and wrote in some thread also is that i took water over my head promiseing full commentary on the video, but i tryed for a couple of hours at different times but it just turned out bad. there was just too many hands all over the place and i didnt really remeber much i was thinking + i got slaughtered, and commenting on HU is so wierd because alot is based on leveling and gameflowfeel for me, and it just got to hard.
But i uploaded the video anyways, u can download it here:
as for life and poker, february was great, i made over 100k$ own money in february, about 30k of them at the livegames in stockholms casino cosmopol livegames, mostly playing 10/10$ ish and 20/20$ ish stakes deep. was fun
for the 3k$ live tourney during the eventweek at the end of feb i semibubbled it at 16th with 99 vs QJs all in pre 25bb deep or so, out of 70 ppl or something, small tourney but took like 20 hours until i busted for no score at all zzzz always anoying
They made some interview with me during that week, svenskaspel the site ive played alot of highstakes on the last year+ or so they somehow recognized me as a svenskaspel HS player so they approached me and asked me if i was longple on svenskaspel and if i wanted to answer some questions in their pokershow "pokerstudion"
so for the swedes, + if u guys wanna look how i look like or sound like or what ever>>>>
you can find the interview with me here starting at 9:40:
i just have to say that its pretty funny because i dont say anything smart in the video at all, for example she asks me whats most fascinateing with poker and i think for 30 sek and answer "its fun" + Show Spoiler +
started takeing some 10/20$ shots on stars, the deepgames are really fun to play, battled some with our own wobbly_au the other day and it got pretty interesting. u can find some of the hands from the last couple sessions of 10/20 in my hand section if interested.
anyways, not much more to say, feel kinda sad have some girldramatrouble irl atm so im not looking to play to much in march probably, just dont wanna grind to much when feeling down.
hope some will find the video interesting, post comment below includeing what time in the video the hand approaches if u got any questions, and im gonna try and answer most of them as good as possible.
weed + this = true
take care keep check out my hands to the right as i will keep posting interesting ones :-)
Ok so money is rolling in and im doing very well. The dautstake is cleared and my game feels super tip top right now and busting my roll + starting on stars have been a very positive longterm experience for me i think.
my game is better then ever before, learned alot from playing better regs on stars, adjusted well to 100bb again, and i can 24 table + gameselect some other tables from other clients on the side, without feeling that im missing to much. stars software <3
stars is also taxxfree now + ive lost 20kg + ive met a girl i like alot.
everything is just tiptop.
And the month is only halfway in, this month really have potential! :D
Swedish site graph (in SEK at rate 1usd=7sek)
Stars graph 24 tableing 2/4 - 5/10$
Im also up 1400€ on an italian site, dont feel the need to upload that graph but this means only 15 days in playing midstakes im up 82500$ at the tables and with rakeback too its probagbly closeing in on 90k$
(alltho im shipping some money to daut, dont know where its gonna end too laazy to do the math, maybe at 80k ish afterall from haveing 40% in my first 25k winnings or something from this month)
80 000 fucking us dolls
record month for me already, playing lower then usually. Life is good what can i tell you!
A buddy of mine (the pokerfriend i traveled with for 2.5 months in asia with earlier this winter) is comeing to visit over the weekend, if i got time over i will try and record the audio and compress the HU match against ket, otherwise i will try to get it up on monday/thuesday next week.
Thank you for your patience!
Regards
longple
PokerStars luckiest flipper.
- Umeå Sweden
edit:
and oh yeah, on monday im makeing a chestpiece tattoo also thats gonna be sooo awesome, superpumped. I got an MMS on my phone today from my tattoist (er?) with a sketch of what we are gonna do the first sitting (about 4 hours), and then 2 weeks later or so we are gonna do the rest of the tattoo.
the image to the left is from an album i really enjoy and is a big part of my childhood/kansas will always be special to me. And he made an own version of it that i really dig it the more and more i look at it! cant wait to see how he wanna make the wings.
but basically im gonna do it on my chest, with the wings going up against my shoulders.
Was thinking of maybe making another video for LP, what would u like to see?
Poll: What video should longple make?
(Vote): 4-6 tableing 100bb video
(Vote): 4-6 tableing deep video
(Vote): Hu video
(Vote): 24 tableing starsvideo (prolly w/o much commentary)
. I lived there and it took me about 1-2 years of hard work to really become good enough at poker to make 
Especially this year.
