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Gawuss is bankin !

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oh, hai
  Gawuss, Nov 12 2012

Now that I know that I'm incapable of improving my poker skills and it keeps getting worse and worse I still somehow have motivation to pursue the goal of moving up. I had to go down to 50nl after Enet (a small Italian network) had frozen most of my BR and had basically stolen my money for the second time in a span of a few months.
Daily analysis of at least 5 hands and talking strategy with my friends helped me believe I can finally start to understand poker better and crush my opponents but I just can't get myself to focus each time I play and it leads me to spazz a lot which makes me miserable over and over again. I'm completely sick of it but I gotta move on and try to improve no matter what. I need to pay rent, buy food, etc. and I don't really feel like asking my parents for help once I became financially independent a couple years ago. It might result in me being broke soon but I am not going to give up. I've been playing poker for far too long to just let it go.
I'm writing this post because it is a part of the schedule I set myself and I will be doing it on a weekly basis regardless of results or the mood I'm in. I'll try not to whine too much but instead be constructive and look for feedback from you guys.
Since I'm kinda sick of poker in general, I wanted to briefly write about my recent trip to Amsterdam. 3 years ago I felt it'd be a good place to take your girlfriend for a romantic weekend and so I took her there last month. I can't exactly say it was a romantic weekend since all we did was smoke weed all the time. And no, it was not my idea. She loves weed probably more than she loves me Anyway, we spent a lot of time walking around Amsterdam and stoping at coffeeshops for at least a joint. We liked Bulldog, Barney's and one local no-name coffeeshop the most. I'm not sure if there is anything more to add, except for that we had a really fun time and I'm looking forward to going back to the Sin City of Europe some day

Pics:
+ Show Spoiler +




Take care LPers,

Mike



P.S. If anyone wanted to coach me for free or in exchange for Polish lessons please let me know



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Comments (7)


Hi, I'm 21
  Gawuss, Jul 05 2012

Turned 21 today. I remember dreaming of spending this bday playing in my first ever WSOP ME in Vegas but oh well...after 7 years of playing poker I still suck balls, don't put in enough volume, get tilted, etc. etc. I really regret not being disciplined enough back then when the games were sooo juicy. And I'm not sure whether to be thankful that I found poker or not. Hmmm...

But at least I'm 21 now !!

Have a nice day everyone

Mike



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Comments (9)


And you know what I mean..
  Gawuss, May 15 2012

For a long time I’ve been and still am struggling with a decision to make a huge change in my life. To escape. Anywhere. I do love having people around but I think I could use some me-time to rethink my life, whether I should be with this girl, I love her very much but do I want to pursue it ? Or if I really think poker is a good career to go after. I want to explore the world and myself within it. Where do I belong ? What do I really want and need ? I need adventures, I need experiences, I need new people. I need a best friend. I may have many friends but none of them would I consider my so called BFF. I think that for now my girlfriend is my best friend and I like the way this is but what if it ends ? What then ? She won’t be there for me even though I’ll make sure to always be there for her.

Fuck.

I imagine many of you have had similar thoughts throughout your life and most probably haven’t got to the point where you knew THIS IS IT, THIS IS WHAT I WANT AND WHERE I WANT TO BE. I’m about to turn 21 and hell yeah I’m young wild and free but not exactly… There is this ENORMOUS barrier that blocks me from the world. And it obviously exists in my mind. I’m in the middle of figuring out everything and I guess it’ll never stop. Each day teaches you something about yourself even when you spent it in your bed. You can’t stop learning. Actually, it gives me pleasure to be aware I’m constantly becoming a smarter/wiser person.

I’ve always had that dream to embark on a lone journey and meet a stranger in a pub. Then, without revealing names or anything, tell him/her each and every secret from my life. Just let myself feel completely free and careless and do what my heart tells me to.

That’s just a draft made on the spur of the moment and those 3 beers I’ve just emptied.

And I’m sharing it with you guys, whatever. I believe you have gone or are going through this too so you can truly relate to it and maybe also write something to free your mind, please do

To make this blog entry look more pretty I'm posting 2 songs, make sure to check them out




Have a good night,

Mike



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Comments (8)


Wakey, wakey, Mike
  Gawuss, Feb 12 2012

I’m sick of it. Whenever I feel the greatly needed motivation to grind my fingers to the bones and I’m just about to start fulfilling the perfect plan of becoming a real poker player who knows what he’s doing and can’t be stopped, something must happen. In September it was a trip to Bulgaria, in October it was moving into a new apartment, in November I just preferred spending time with my girlfriend, in December I spent 3 weeks in the US. This time it was relationship issues that I’ve already managed to fix. But now, after almost 2 weeks of drama and a couple days of sunshine, love and rainbows and stuff, I don’t feel the legendary motivation that I mentioned before. For the last couple of months I have been struggling to get on track with everything I had planned for the gap year and it still seems impossible to me to get things done.
I can’t win, I can’t grind, I can’t analyze, I stopped watching coaching videos. I know everything I need is a couple small steps away but I need to make them in the right direction and focus damn hard on it. I thought I’d start with this short blog entry. It is supposed to be square one of the right path in the game I want to play and finally – win.





You gotta keep your head up

Mike



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Comments (5)


Dear poker players...
  Gawuss, Oct 12 2011

...I never asked for this. I got here only by accident. I’m grateful for what happened to me and yet..not fully. Am I a happier person than I’d be if I hadn’t experienced all of it ? I sometimes wish I could go back and do it differently but I can’t. I tend to think that I screwed things up and wasted my only opportunity but did I ?! Now I give myself another chance. I know - it requires more work, greater commitment and some sacrifices but I got to do this. I’m ready for it. I need it. I want it.
Some people say it’s stupid, some wish me good luck, while I truly believe I don’t need any. What I need is an honest willingness to make these dreams come true. And I believe…No! I KNOW I will reach my goals. That is what I’m aiming for and I won’t let myself stop. It is the last chance I got and I will not waste it this time.
Believe it or not – I WILL DO IT !!! I took a year off to chase my dreams and I won’t even think of stopping to take a breath till I make them real. Don’t wish me luck. I would be greatly thankful if you gave me a helping hand instead.

I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

Greetings,

Mike




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Comments (11)


2010 / 2011
  Gawuss, Feb 15 2011

I was going to write this blog post over a month ago but oh well...I'm a slacker and didn't really feel like it until now.

2010 was not a very good year pokerwise even though I played more hands that in 2009 (214k - soooo many, right ?...NOT) - mostly because of the bet with my cousin to play 125k hands in 3 months. He's got some doubts but I definitely won it. The quality of my play was not at the highest level when I was desperately trying to play for X hours a day just to play as many hands as possible and I was behind the pace in the end of August (the bet was to end on September 30th). I was going mental in September as I had to play almost 60k hands in a month and the most I had played before was I think around 30k. I was running like shit and was forcing myself to play because losing the bet would just suck...I must say that I haven't been more (life and poker) tilted than in the last September.

I ended the year slightly in the green but the final score is still pathetic and I'm not going to make it public heh because I'm just fucking embarassed. Alright let's finish talking about how poker went for me in 2010 and focus on the good stuff.

I closed a great chapter of my life - I graduated from high school and passed my matura exams. I know nothing lasts forever but I still miss those times cause I met really awesome people there and we spent a plenty of great time together. I am going to stay in touch with some of them for as long as possible - hopefully for the rest of my life, but everyone knows that eventually most of us will go on separate paths in life.

In October I moved to Warsaw and started my first year in university. I live here with 2 friends and we're getting along pretty well I think. I pay for everything with my own money, except for uni. My parents insisted to pay for my studies because they feel kinda bad about that my brother, who is 4 years older than me, still gets money from them for pretty much everything he does and they think I should get sth from them too. I'm not complaining that they decided so but I must say it feels nice to be financially independent I would love to be 'food-independent' too but I just can't get myself to cook anything and I'm eating out every day.

Here are a couple of my blog posts with stuff that happened in 2010 for those of you who would like to read sth more:

PCA trip + prom pics
The bet, Hip Hop Kemp and university
Last year as a teenager
Funny stuff

Alright, that's all for 2010 I think. Let's move on to 2011 !

January was pretty cool. I knew that after a pretty long christmas break I'd need to motivate myself once again to play as much as possible and I took part in a challenge one of the members of Polish LP organized and I set myself a goal to play 60 hours of poker. I know it's not that much for most of you but considering the fact that I'm a lazy slob and I love (no, I don't..) wasting time and that I spent 4 days in Vienna with my gf (I went there to play a poker donkament but busted during the first day, TT v QQ) and also had to study for the exams it felt great to be able to pull that off. But unfortunately, since I came back to my hometown for a 2-week-long winter break I haven't play a single hand of poker in February. I wanted to start grinding today but without going into much detail I changed my plans and decided to finally update this blog and clean up my hard drive. I'm still going to aim for that 60 hours of poker in February cause I need to warm myself up for the gap year.

Oh yes, the gap year. I'm taking one year off from school to focus on poker and travel around the world and just to experience something awesome. I and my friends are most likely going to Thailand for at least 3 months in the end of this year to play poker and chill. I'm pumped about all this and am really motivated to achieve as much as I can pokerwise during that 15 months of freedom. I will probably write much more about the plans for the next year some time soon so stay tuned hehe.

In before pics or it didn't happen
+ Show Spoiler +





Good luck to everyone,

Mike



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Comments (4)


Who would put me up for the night ?
  Gawuss, Nov 20 2010

A couple days ago before falling asleep I had this idea to go on a spontaneous trip by myself to some random city in Europe for a few days or maybe a week. I would turn off my mobile phone, not say anyone where I'd go and just spend the whole time on a whim doing whatever I want without any worries. And now here's the question: Who would put me up for a night or two and hang out together, show me around and just chill ?? If you'd be willing to do so, just write where you live so that I can make a list of places I could visit It's not that you'd have to be with me all the time. I even think that going to a city where I don't know anyone would make the trip more interesting but it'd be great if any of you wanted to meet up if there was such option.

Mike



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Comments (19)


Dilemma you've all heard about
  Gawuss, Oct 30 2010

Alright so lately I've started thinking a lot more about dropping out and playing poker full time. I met some nice people in the university, even if I decided to quit studying I could still hang out with them on a regular basis. But the problem lies in the idea of me not really being into the whole management thing. I know I don't have that much homework to do and I think I could pretty easily finish the first year but it's not that it doesn't affect my poker playing. During the last month I played only 1300 hands and the reason for it is not only the laziness but also tiredness caused by the parties and university. I didn't really feel like playing/studying poker and I'm not really sure how it is going to look like in the next couple of months if I continued my studies. As a little brag I've gotta add that I met a nice girl which also took some of my time I need some advice, preferably from people who had the same dilemma and decided either to drop out or stay. I'll definitely try to play poker as much as possible and go to the university but right now knowing myself I think it's not gonna work out that well.

Ok people I'm ready to read your comments on it !!

Mike



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Comments (10)


The bet, HHK and university
  Gawuss, Oct 02 2010

It's been a while since I posted anything here and that's mostly due to me being busy during the summer and obviously my lazy nature has been a factor too.

The bet
+ Show Spoiler +



And here comes the fun part of this blog post.

Hip Hop Kemp / University
+ Show Spoiler +


That's it for now I guess. Maybe I'll post some pics of the apartment in the next entry.

Hope you enjoyed. Good luck everyone


Mike









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Comments (6)


Only 2 years left...
  Gawuss, Jul 05 2010

...till I'll be able to play the WSOP ME I turn 19 today - this is my last year of being a teenager.

I've obviously failed to achieve my poker goals for June. I played only 11k hands, instead of the planned 40k. There is too much going on during the summer to spend every day in front of the computer.

I've started questioning my game a bit more lately and I've even moved down for a while to fix some leaks and try to play more solidly. I bought HEM and I like it but it lacks some of the stats I used to use in PT3. I guess it's possible to add them somehow but I'll see to it later

A few days ago I got my A-levels results. I scored only 43% in Polish but whatever, the rest looks better:
-maths (basic level) - 88%
-English (basic) - 100%
-English (advanced) - 99%
-geography (advanced) - 55%

I'm pretty happy about it. I've already applied for BBA in Management at Kozminski University in Warsaw. I'm going to move in with my 2 really cool buddies and I'm really looking forward to it

I've watched 2 very good movies recently. One of them is obviously Toy Story 3 which made me feel like a child again - back to oldschool
The other one is "Mr. Nobody". It's kind of similar to "The butterfly effect". It tells a story of a boy who has to decide with which parent he's going to live. Depending on who he chooses his life takes a different path.

Nice song from "Mr. Nobody"


And a classic Randy Newman's song


Good luck to everyone,

Mike



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Comments (6)




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